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Randall Flagg

Member Since 23 May 2012
Offline Last Active Today, 12:14 AM

#3451561 What Did You Let Acne Take Away From You?

Posted by Randall Flagg on 11 September 2014 - 01:24 AM

My confidence, my ability to go out and be social with friends like any other young guy...but most importantly it took away my ability to find a relationship (that's probably what hurt the most) 




#3451560 "acne Is The Mark Of The Devil"?!

Posted by Randall Flagg on 11 September 2014 - 01:22 AM

Idiotic. Acne is stigmatized by ignorance from a lot of people in the world. Just like one of the most unhelpful pieces of advice people like to give acne sufferers..."wash your face more!" smh 




#3451559 People Point Out My Makeup

Posted by Randall Flagg on 11 September 2014 - 01:17 AM

I'm sorry to hear that you've had to deal with this. People can be very insensitive and rude without even realizing it sometimes. Other times they just try to project their own insecurities on you. They don't realize how strong you are for dealing with acne on a day to day basis...and they probably never will.




#3447091 Guys With Acne Can Be Very Sexy!

Posted by Randall Flagg on 13 August 2014 - 12:19 PM

lol Well this is definitely an inspiring post...just the idea that a beautiful girl like yourself would be interested in a guy that suffers from acne/scars is really awesome.

 

Still tho, acne/scars make me feel very unattractive at times. I think that's how it is with most other guys too 




#3446815 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by Randall Flagg on 12 August 2014 - 02:48 AM

It's been too long since I last checked in! Skin is doing really good, still using the Regimen only nightly...I still get a pimple or two but they heal quickly and it's incredibly easy to manage compared to how my skin used to be. Otherwise life is good, work is steady, have made lots of new friends, looking to get a new phone here pretty soon. Still no girlfriend but that's a work in progress...it's mostly due to my shyness because of old emotional scars from acne, but I'm not too worried about it.

 

Wishing everyone here good days to come skin-wise and in life too! 




#3433729 Blunt Dating Advice For People With Acne

Posted by Randall Flagg on 28 May 2014 - 05:49 PM

I think confidence is a misused, perhaps overused, word. I agree with the sentiment that confidence is key, but, despite people constantly repeating the mantra that 'confidence is not the same as arrogance/cockiness', in reality few can actually tell the difference - especially when it comes to dating. Arrogant men (and to a lesser extent women) do very well indeed when it comes to attracting the opposite sex.

 

In my view, it is better to aim for inner peace. I haven't found 'inner peace' as such but in those fleeting moments when I feel peaceful and content with myself and the world it is far easier to feel positivity, creativity, warmth and kindness. When I strive for 'confidence' it too often feels like an act, an act that conforms to society's ideal of an 'alpha' male: selfishness, dominance, control, promiscuity, etc. are not qualities I admire and wish to ape.

 

I agree 100% with Jamie's post here. Based purely on life experience (my own personal life experience) this rings especially true. It's so easy to tell someone "be confident" like it's a switch you're capable of toggling in your head whenever you desire. It's not. You'll notice in this modern day society that an arrogant male who is rude as hell has no problem at all getting a girlfriend. I will never be that person. I don't WANT to be that person. I'm not willing to change myself and betray my personality just because that's what some girls find attractive. Do I want a relationship? Absolutely. Am I going to put on an act and be an asshole to obtain that relationship? Nah. I'll pass.

 

I'll be honest when I say that I hate modern dating. Everything about it seems flawed to me. We live in an image obsessed world where some of the most negative personality traits are considered "hot" or "sexy."

 

I have no desire to be a douche bag "alpha male" no matter how sexy or attractive that persona is. It's not me...and even if it means I'll be single for eternity, I really don't give a shit.




#3428447 How Do My Fellow Ugly Guys Cope With Being Undesired?

Posted by Randall Flagg on 24 April 2014 - 09:18 PM

Focus on other aspects of your life that you're passionate about. Rather that be education, hobbies, working out, entertainment...whatever you're into. Build a life for yourself that you really enjoy even without female companionship. I'll admit that even though I don't get much more active acne since being on the Regimen, I still have scarring and consider myself unattractive as a result of that. 

 

I'll be 100% honest too and say that I hate the way modern dating is set up. Guys are expected to initiate with girls, run the risk of getting rejected, do all the chasing and putting yourself out there, etc etc. Having had experience with most dating sites I think they're pretty much a joke, barely ever get any kind of responses on there if you're a male. Real life is a better option, but even then almost all cute/interesting girls that I meet have boyfriends already and the only girls that find me attractive are the ones that I don't find attractive.

 

The whole thing is just frustrating as hell so I tend to just not even worry about it much these days...just focus on bettering myself and enjoying my life for me.




#3423820 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by Randall Flagg on 01 April 2014 - 11:55 PM

Seems like it's been ages since I've checked in...hope all my friends here are doing well! Little update on me: I'm still on the Regimen (only nightly) and it does a great job of controlling my acne. I'm never 100% acne free but I can pretty much bank on not getting huge cysts or clusters of pimples anymore like I used to. As I type this I only have a fairly small pimple on my chin. We're finally starting see some warm weather in my part of the world and I'm SO happy about that...winter is depressing as hell around here and it just makes me feel like a hermit.(I live in WV, mountains everywhere and makes you feel isolated during colder months, lol) 

 

Things are going well at my job. Have a new social circle of friends and we go out on a pretty consistent basis so that's fun, definitely better than hiding away in the house all the time when I'm feeling down. My confidence is up to a level I feel comfortable with, I still have lots of work to do, but I'm getting there.

 

Been doing a lot of writing lately, catching up on my Walking Dead addiction, and working out as often as I can. Joined a new gym recently (super cheap and great place, very chill environment....I've done weight training at home for years but this expands my horizons even more because there's so much equipment that I don't have access to at home)

 

Still single unfortunately...I get the occasional flirty smile from girls at work but I'm still a little too shy to capitalize on it and start up conversations with them, and in the dating game we all know the guy is supposed to chase the girl otherwise nothing ever happens...so I'm trying to work on that too, but it takes time. I'm at a point where I'm not terribly concerned about it, if I meet a girl and we hit it off then that's awesome...but I'm not gonna stress about it because other aspects of my life are going well and I've got a lot to be thankful for.

 

That about covers it :P




#3413560 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by Randall Flagg on 11 February 2014 - 05:40 PM

Skin is doing pretty well right now. Have one large spot on my chin that is starting to diminish. I realized what my Regimen issue was...I was using expired BP! I just got so into the routine of the Regimen that I didn't even think about BP having an expiration date, but after noticing that I was getting more breakouts than usual I checked and I think that's the reason. Got some fresh BP now and seems my skin is starting to get back to a calmer state.

 

I'm getting so tired of winter though, it's just fuel for depression...I'll be so glad when spring and summer gets here so that I can get out and do things.

 

Also I've implemented a new body bar into my routine to combat some shoulder acne, it's the Basis body bar and it's super cheap and seems to be doing the trick.




#3413548 Let's Be Real Guy's

Posted by Randall Flagg on 11 February 2014 - 04:08 PM

If I'm being 100% honest about what bothers me the MOST about having acne/scarring as a young 20 something male...then yes, that's exactly it.

 

The one thing I want the most at this point in my life is female companionship. I want to date, I want to have fun while I'm young, I want to experience a healthy relationship with a girl and just enjoy life with her. As a male with acne/scarring, my ability to do that is pretty much crippled. If it's not my physical appearance that will turn girls off, it's my insecurity/emotional damage due to years of struggling with acne and trying to come to terms with it.

 

In this society guys are expected to chase girls, make the first moves, put in the work of romancing and showing interest...and let's face facts, if you're a guy who struggles with acne it's damn near impossible to do that. Take that NORMAL fear of rejection that most people have and amplify it by a million or so decimals and then you've got the fear of rejection level that people with acne have, because we're hyper aware of it because we spend so much time obsessing about our looks.

 

I'm at a point where I've pretty much given up on the dating scene for the time being. Admitting that makes me bitter, but it's the truth...right now I'm focusing on just bettering myself. Getting my skin to a level I'm comfortable with, working out to vent frustration and build a better body, doing well at my job and pursuing schooling, etc.

 

And @Bubble55, that's an interesting point...but I can't completely agree with it. Men want to look attractive just like women want to look attractive. Having acne/scarred skin does not make us feel rugged or manly, it makes us feel monstrous and out of place.




#3412741 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by Randall Flagg on 07 February 2014 - 02:56 AM

Quiet Jamie, I'm sorry as hell you had to deal with that. I've experienced moments like that too when getting my hair cut. It seems most hair cuttery places have attractive girls working at them all the time too and I feel like that makes it so much worse because half the time I imagine these girls are thinking to themselves "ew, why do I have to cut this freakish looking guy's hair" whenever I go there. It's why I often let my hair grow long because getting my hair cut is such a huge shot to the ego, I can't stop staring at my scars and I usually can't even make eye contact with the girl cutting my hair so I just stare at the floor in silence hoping it'll be over soon. Just remember the lighting in most of those salons/shops is very harsh and it's not an accurate representation of what your skin looks like on a day to day basis.

 

I'm wishing you lots of success with the new job and keep on meeting new people and striving to make new friends, don't let this momentary rough patch hold you back.




#3409607 Today Hurt A Lot.. (Pics)

Posted by Randall Flagg on 22 January 2014 - 01:34 AM

I'm amazed at how thoughtless that comment was...such a cruel, callous thing for her to say. If I were in your shoes I would never waste another moment of my time or life dealing with that girl...sounds like she's got a lot of growing up to do and she might have outer beauty, but no inner beauty.

 

Keep focusing on treating your acne and bettering yourself and you'll meet a girl someday that appreciates you and supports you.




#3409597 Help, Will The Girl I Love, Love Me With My Back Scars

Posted by Randall Flagg on 22 January 2014 - 12:36 AM

Hey man, I just wanted to chime in here because this post really resonated with me and I feel like I can completely identify with your situation right now. I've been told I'm a good looking guy before and girls flirt with me all the time, but if they only knew the amount of insecurity I have due to scars/skin issues then it would likely blow them away. You describe it as a "deep dark secret" and I feel like that is so apt, that's exactly what it feels like....this shadow that just lingers over your life and is ALWAYS there when it comes to interactions with girls you like, romance, relationships, etc.

 

I feel like acne affects both genders in such a negative way, with girls in this modern age the media is always putting out this perfect image of beauty that they feel like they need to aspire towards (I can only imagine how rough that is for women who struggle with skin issues) but for guys (and I speak from experience here) we are taught growing up that men need to be confident, men need to be strong...as men we're supposed to hide our insecurities and be confident and assertive because girls find insecure men unattractive. It's very hard for anyone to understand what that feels like unless you're a guy struggling with this type of issue that just haunts such an important aspect of your life. 

 

I've done the exact same thing you've done. I've distanced myself from girls who show interest in me, I've pushed them away when they get too close, I've made excuses...and it's all to cover up the skin issues that bother me. It's a hopeless cycle and it really, really sucks.

 

My advice to you? Open up to this girl and be 100% honest with her about how these scars make you feel. Don't hold back, just put it all out in the open and let the weight of it be lifted from your shoulders. It sounds to me like she really loves you and once you tell her how this makes you feel she'll be completely understanding and maybe even willing to help you out as much as she can. And if not? She's not worth being with. The important thing is that you get it off your chest sooner rather than later.

 

I know what it feels like to be torn between being that strong, confident male that society expects you to be and opening up about your biggest insecurity...but in the long run you gotta realize we're all human and we all have our imperfections. Tell her how these scars truly make you feel...and put the ball into her court.

 

I think you'll be pleasantly surprised with her reaction and the support she's willing to give you, because I'm sure she has her own imperfections that she's scared to open up to you about too. Consider it an opportunity to let the relationship evolve and grow stronger.

 

Best of luck to you, man!




#3403101 My Regimen Journey To Clear Skin!

Posted by Randall Flagg on 23 December 2013 - 11:00 PM

Wishing you lots of of luck, Rachelle! I'm a long time Regimen user and I can definitely tell you that this treatment works, but there are also ups and downs along the way. I've had a rough past few weeks skin-wise too, so here's hoping that we both start seeing some major improvements soon :)




#3403099 Flagg's Regimen Log [Pics]

Posted by Randall Flagg on 23 December 2013 - 10:48 PM

Random Update:

 

Wow, hard to believe it's been over three months since I updated this log! Figured I'd just chime in for a minute here on the state of my face because these past few weeks have been rough. I dunno if it's the cold weather that's exasperating my acne or what, but I've been breaking out a little more than usual. Nothing too terrible, but the occasional big pimple along with little whiteheads here and there. Currently I have this big, awkward pimple on the side of my nose where my glasses slide up against my skin...and my chin has this little nest of whiteheads that just won't die, they seem to just keep replicating each time one of them heals. So that's pretty annoying. I also had this really strange little patch of red skin appear near my hairline on my forehead, not a pimple but I have no idea what it could be...I've read that sometimes hyper-pigmentation can just randomly occur on skin that has had been damaged by acne in the past so I'm assuming maybe that's what it is. Luckily it's starting to fade, whatever it is. 

 

How's everyone else doing? Noticing any changes in your skin on the Regimen during the winter months?