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Member Since 07 Apr 2012
Offline Last Active Jan 30 2014 05:47 PM

#3411327 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by Spotthedifference on 30 January 2014 - 02:44 PM

I had to rush out the door today with no time to do my hair or makeup or get all dressed up. I got hit on all evening. Really surprised and slightly confused since I don't get that much attention when I'm done up. Still, feeling better about things now. 

#3409254 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by Spotthedifference on 20 January 2014 - 02:33 PM

The NHS can be useless with mental health issues. I used to suffer from post traumatic stress and despite having what appeared to be a breakdown in the GP's office, explaining how suicidal and aggressive I was feeling and then promptly storming off to a busy road when she wasn't treating me seriously enough I never got a referral for help, I just had to deal with it on my own. 

#3409029 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by Spotthedifference on 19 January 2014 - 02:23 PM

This may surprise one or two of you who know how obsessed I am with diet normally but of late, due to being so depressed I`ve stopped caring for myself as much and I`ve been eating a lot more junk food. Although I do have some blemishes, surprisingly enough my skin isn`t anywhere near as bad as I thought it would be given the amount of crap I`ve been eating. Maybe I`ve been over obsessing all along and haven`t needed to be anywhere near as strict as I have been. Think the key thing I`ve learned is "everything in moderation is okay".


Up to an hour ago, I was having a better day than I have in a long time. I was going to stay indoors/in bed but my sister persuaded me to go out with her and my nephews today. My sister has recently divorced and she has been telling me of late that my nephews need me a lot at this time in their lives. Anyway, I went out with them and ended up having a nice day.


However since I got in an hour ago, all the negative thoughts, self-loathing, shame, feelings of repulsiveness and lack of self-worth are kicking in again. The thoughts are so bad that I`m actually experiencing physical pain in my stomach. Not only that, every mistake that I`ve made and everything that I`ve lost as a consequence over the years just keeps playing itself out in my mind in glorious technicolor. My sister is wrong - my nephews deserve a better uncle than me. Even if I`m a good person 90% of the time, there is a 10% element that is horrible and nasty (usually when I`m depressed and paranoid) and because of this I`m not worthy of and don`t deserve anything. I deserve to be sad and lonely.


Take those feelings of responsibility and use them to power your elimination of that 10% you don't like. Everybody is an idiot sometimes. Don't beat yourself up too much for being human.


The BP is slowly getting rid of my breakout :)

#3408384 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by Spotthedifference on 17 January 2014 - 03:00 AM

Gunnke, what if one day someone out there is about to cross a busy road, they don't see a bus coming and you're destined to be next to them at the time to pull them back from danger and save their life?


That's just one example. There are countless others that are also possible. You never know what life has in store for you. If nothing else, what about your sister and her kids? What will they feel if their brother and uncle were gone forever?

#3407288 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by Spotthedifference on 12 January 2014 - 09:56 AM

My skin is doing pretty well, went through a rocky phase for awhile there but The Regimen continues to keep the vast majority of my acne at bay.


Right now though I'm struggling with depression about other things in my life though. Feeling very sad and discouraged when I see so many of my male friends who have girlfriends or wives and I seem to just remain perpetually alone. I see girls all the time that I'd like to start conversations with and get to know and some of them even smile at me and give me signs that they'd be open to talking, but I'm just so damn shy that I never can take the initiative and make something happen in those situations. It's so disheartening because I'm just in this stagnant cycle right now where I work and then on my days off I basically just stay at home or go out and run errands alone. I want to be going out on dates and enjoying my 20s and I wish more than anything that I had a girlfriend to talk to, share life's moments with, someone to laugh with, etc...but each day that passes I feel like that's just never going to happen for me. 


Literally just launch yourself into it.


I know it sounds ridiculous. People talk about games and dating techniques. I tried all that and it didn't work out so well. What did work out was putting myself out there more by starting random conversations, getting people to talk about themselves and being confident. A lot of people make the mistake of thinking that confidence is a natural intuitive thing that they lack. It's not. Most of the confidence in the world is a front, an act. I'm not saying don't be yourself; be you, but louder. More alert. Stand taller, smile lots. Eventually you'll get to a position where you're comfortable with yourself and more relaxed in different situations, but at first it'll all be fake - and that's not a bad thing. The more you act a certain way the more you become that person. 


My acne's not doing too bad. A few spots hurt a bit but the ACV is really burning into them now. I'm picking up hyperpigmentation like nobody's business. 

#3406535 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by Spotthedifference on 08 January 2014 - 06:45 PM

I've had a rough few days so promptly I've eaten the worst junk food of my life and had sleeping habits that would make static interference jealous. On the upside I've been dogmatically consistent with my skin care routine. I'll start behaving properly again when I have a moment to myself to take care of my body the way it needs.

#3406215 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by Spotthedifference on 07 January 2014 - 01:58 PM

I`ve started to break out a little on my temples and neck today so I think that my clear spell has unfortunately come to an end. However what`s bothering me more right now is the feelings of loneliness, sadness, emptiness and being completely lost that I have. I have commented on it extensively on another thread that I started so it is well documented that I have recently lost a friend that I made on these forums. We used to "chat" most evenings and I really miss no longer being able to talk to them. Haven`t yet found anything to fill the void that has been left. Furthermore, we both used to belong to a website that supports people with depression and mental health issues. Thanks to my betrayal of my friend and my despicable actions in the aftermath, I no longer feel able to log on to that website because I`m pretty sure that people will remember me for what I did and won`t want to know me. I`m really reaping what I have sown right now and just hope that in the long run, I can learn from these mistakes and the consequent feelings of shame and be a better person in the future.


It WILL get better, I promise. Mistakes are proof that we've tried. The person who dies having made no mistakes is the person that never learnt to live.


Trying to workout to distract myself from the current flare-up. I love whoever invented makeup. Bring it on, tomorrow! (Eeeeeep!)

#3405299 On Christmas Break And Feeling Pretty Bad

Posted by Spotthedifference on 03 January 2014 - 12:09 PM

Hey there, I'm in the same situation in so far as my acne has come back and it's the Christmas holidays. Instead of staying in, however, I've been lucky enough to have people encourage me to go out and enjoy myself. Just put some makeup on (as a confidence booster) and throw yourself out there. Lowering stress improves your skin, and not worrying about your skin lowers stress. If you hide away from the world and isolate yourself then you'll never be able to enjoy the social experiences that others do. The only person holding you back right now is yourself. Think of the best and worst case scenarios - best, you make new friends, experience new things, feel happy. Worst someone comments on your acne and then... what? Nothing. You ignore the ignorant person and move on. I don't agree with your parent's phrasing. They are, however, correct in that sitting in your room will get you nowhere in this life. Only you can improve and experience your own life by putting yourself out there. Yes, you might get hurt, but so might anybody, it's not definite. What is definite is that if you don't go out you'll be lonely and upset.  

#3402956 Bad Acne

Posted by Spotthedifference on 23 December 2013 - 03:57 AM

Gentle natural cleanser, non-medicated moisturizer and letting your skin heal for a few weeks followed by adding 1 non-harsh treatment to your routine might help. My skin used to look like yours before I started picking and over treating: honestly, it's looking pretty good, but like it needs a rest. I wear sunscreen every day of the year that I go outside (and I live in a very dark place) because I've used a lot of harsh treatments over the years and don't trust my skin's natural resistance. It's also good for preventing premature ageing apparently. 

#3402223 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by Spotthedifference on 20 December 2013 - 01:49 AM

Sorry to hear that Randall Flagg. Irritation can be a huge problem in winter with the cold environment, then air conditioning, big coats and jumpers rubbing etc. 
Fingers crossed it gets better for you soon Sunbeam.
I Left my acne mostly alone last night, just washed my face and moisturised. It's mostly burns and wounds this morning. Is it odd that I'm relieved to have marks everywhere? They're just so much easier to cover with makeup, which I'm doing right now. Usually I operate on a no makeup policy unless it's a party or something, but forget it, it's nearly Christmas. I need to be thinking about Christ, not my face. 

#3402151 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by Spotthedifference on 19 December 2013 - 05:56 PM

Feeling pretty darn low about my skin at the moment. Got some important days coming up and it turns out makeup isn't covering it at all. The spots aren't bad in severity, but they're really, really red and distributed in such a way as no part of my face is clear. I've tried to over treat which has made everything look about 10x worse. I tried taking some pictures for a makeup review and I honestly didn't realize how horrific things are looking. Normally I wouldn't give a stuff about things I can't change in my appearance but I'm going to be in situations fairly soon where people will be scrutinizing me very closely. I don't know if it's the stress of some other stuff that's going on or what but this is the first time I've cried about my skin in months. 

sad.png Probably the best thing you can do now is moisturize and let heal. I'm assuming by "overtreating," you mean you put too many drying agents on your spots? Use some things that you know decrease the redness-- like a retinoid (if you have one), AHA, or aloe vera. If the people you're going to be around scrutinize your skin, just tell them it's not usually like this and it's because you're stressed. They'll take that as an answer and probably think of your skin in a different way-- they'll know it's just temporary and think you have nice skin otherwise. I doubt you look horrific! You're lovely! I hope your stress goes away soon!


Thanks for the advice, I agree. I do: and some over exfoliation too. I've used some AHA, honey and cold spoons out of the freezer to try and calm it down a bit. I'll try saying that if I notice any funny looks: I'm really hoping it's almost gone by the time my interview comes around. Thankyou so much for the support and advice - I hope my old friend that I'm meeting tomorrow thinks so too! Thanks, there should be lots less stress tomorrow, when all my essays will be handed in and I can have a few days to just enjoy Christmas. 

#3400293 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by Spotthedifference on 11 December 2013 - 02:05 PM

Congratulations on graduating Lily!




It's come back.


Now, on the whole I'm not too worried about it. It does this sometimes - my face becomes a warzone then quietly fades into a truce after a few weeks of being babied and tip toed around. This time, however, it's getting me down a bit. Don't get me wrong, my acne is mild, moderate at best, and I know it's not too much to deal with - it's just an unwanted little annoyance amongst a sea of big important things I'm thinking about. I refuse to wear make-up though and went out without the foundation anyway. My days of being all apologetic about having breakouts is over. 

#3399836 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by Spotthedifference on 09 December 2013 - 02:40 PM

I have one of those spots on my jawline that starts out painful then ends up really, really itchy. Not touching it is a nightmare.

#3396195 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by Spotthedifference on 21 November 2013 - 06:38 AM

My breakout has gone away and I'm clear again. It's going to be a pain having to fade the new hyper pigmentation (I just got rid of the last lot!) but I'm really glad this wasn't a long term relapse. 

#3388303 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by Spotthedifference on 14 October 2013 - 07:29 AM

I'm finally at the stage now where I can get a spot and not have to worry about it all day or cover it up with makeup.