Hi there, AnotherAffected.
There is nothing I can say but that I empathize with what you have gone through. However, I could not imagine struggling with it for as long as you have. It really is time to take control of your life and acne and I think ultra low-dose Accutane could be your answer. http://www.cstrohmeyer.com/about-us/ this is the link to my dermatologist's website. She is a great woman who really truly understands what a life with acne can feel like. Make time to go see her! Initially, like all dermatologists, she may tell you to try the full course, however, be stern in requesting the low-dose course. She is familiar with it and really values when individuals have done their own research on what is good for their bodies. Saying you were referred by me could help in you this process. Let her know that Alek Kanellopoulos wrote of his success on this forum and that I said she is great.
Again, I feel for you. I hope you get this handled and regain your life! Nobody should have to live in shame or disgust of themselves. It is terrible! A low-dose course will pose nearly no side effects and hopefully, in 6-8 months lead to a clear face and a better life!
Please do keep this thread updated and let me know how everything went if you decide to go!