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TheSavyBanana

Member Since 06 Feb 2012
Offline Last Active Apr 11 2014 01:46 PM

Posts I've Made

In Topic: Do People With Acne Commit Suicide Very Often?

11 April 2014 - 01:45 AM

I've read some studies done on acne and suicide. People with acne are more prone to depression, bdd, and suicidal ideation (surprise surprise). I'm not sure about the rate of suicides/ attempted suicides in acne sufferers, but I wouldn't be surprised if the rates were relatively high.

Wow, I just started reading through the replies on this thread. A lot of insensitivity. There's always more to the story than what appears when someone takes their life. No one just decides to kill themselves for no reason. The things some people commit suicide over might seem stupid to you, but there must be some deeper issues.

Have some compassion guys.

In Topic: Dating With This Face (Pics)

11 April 2014 - 01:33 AM

Hi everyone (a bit of a long story, read if you are interested),
I haven't posted on this forum for a few weeks due to a very busy schedule. I used to be on here every day, and it helped me get through the darkest time of my life. I took a break from acne discussions to focus on living and enjoying life now that my cystic acne is under control for the most part. I still have small pimples under the surface of my skin, but usually those go away with peels. My scarring and damaged tissue is what is mostly bothering me now, and I'm sick of my family and friends reassuring me that it's not noticeable. I know they mean well, but I want a reality check.  I'm really hoping you can tell me what you think, please be honest.
 
Ok, here's the story. I was starting to gain my confidence back after having severe acne for a year, and I thought I was ready to start dating again after being single for a long time.  I started talking to someone I met on an online dating site, and for a month we exchanged texts constantly. I felt an instant connection, and he did too.  Then the conversations moved to skype, and every time we videochatted he told me how pretty I look etc. We had intelligent conversations that lasted for hours, I hadn't felt this strong connection with someone in a long time and I didn't think I ever would again. So I finally agreed to meet him in person, and unfortunately we met in broad daylight, and we sat inside a coffeeshop with the sun shining right on my face. I tried not to let that affect my confidence, but he kept staring at me and I didn't like that. We had a good conversation, he asked me a lot of questions and seemed interested in my life, then we went to a movie as planned. However, I just felt that he wasn't that into me anymore. To make things worse, when he drove me back to my car after the movie (it was still early btw), he said "Should we have an awkward hug?" and that was it. The next day, he sent a text late in the afternoon (usually he would text me all day long) saying "had a lot of fun last night." I responded, made a funny comment, and asked him a question....no response until the next day, 12 hours later! Then nothing again until the day after. I even texted him but he just seemed uninterested and the texting didn't continue for long because he never bothered to ask me anything back. I feel so bad about myself right now....I hit an all time low, and I don't know if I can ever bring myself to go out on more dates. This confirmed all my insecurities and my worst fear of being rejected because of my looks. I didn't think this guy was superficial...actually, I was disappointed that he looked flawless (perfect body, cute face, good skin) because I couldn't compete with that. 
I just wanted to vent. On top of this rejection, I received a rejection from my dream job and then I also screwed up a very important job interview today because I was distracted. I feel like a failure in so many ways. 
I took 2 photos of my face on the same day, from a different angle. The third one I added on April 8th, with my face looking smoother. Is this a mindf*ck of what? How am I ever supposed to feel normal? In most photos and on skype, my face looks smooth, and then up close it's a disaster. What do you think, am I exaggerating or do I have  legitimate reasons to believe that I was rejected due to my face? I thought my personality would be enough to make up for some flaws, but apparently even intelligent guys who appreciate smart girls are superficial. :/
*sorry again for this pathetic rant, this is my ultimate low*
 


Oh my gosh darlin', you are so beautiful I could cry! And guess what? You don't have bad skin! You are like me- we feel badly about the smallest little marks on our skin! I know this is probably no consolation- but I know how this feels. I've felt it for years- sometimes I still do. I did absolute horrible things to myself because I felt so horrible about myself. I'm so sorry you are going through this. About the guy- I truly, honestly believe because you feel so down on yourself you are reading into the situation in a way any of us here would. I'd imagine things probably changed because it's AWKWARD always meeting someone in person for the first time! You know what I would do? I would ask him exactly what you're worried about! People always appreciate others being open and vulnerable with them. And chances are he gave no notice to your skin! And if he did- he is a worthless piece of shit who will NEVER EVER deserve such an amazing, beautiful girl as you!

Seriously though, you are so gorgeous. Please try to be easier on yourself. Feel free to message me anytime. I'm always here to talk.

-Savannah

In Topic: It's Getting Better. W/ Pics

30 October 2013 - 10:12 PM

Wow, your skin looks amazing! That is such a dramatic difference. I wish retin-a made my skin look good like that.

In Topic: Starting Spironolactone Today..nervous And Questions!

30 October 2013 - 10:09 PM

I'm taking 100 mgs Spiro and I'm perfectly fine. It wasn't until I got up to 150 that it started messing with my blood pressure.

In Topic: How ya feelin' about your acne today?

30 October 2013 - 09:43 PM

Rough time right now, and it's definitely showing in my skin. My dog and my grandmother just died weeks apart, I had a cutting relapse (after being "clean" for around 9 months), I'm back in therapy for depression, I was diagnosed with BDD and I'm being "treated" for what my doctors and therapists think is an eating disorder, so now I feel like a fat bloated pig. I've been eating bad, breaking out, and the size of my pores is making me crazy. You know it's bad when you're laying in bed awake at one in the morning, crying because your skin is so bad and you have no hope it will ever get better and you just want to die, and your tears sting your face because your skin is so irritated from your acne medication. And then you have to get up every morning and put on your face of makeup and your skin is so dry it looks like the cracked earth during a drought, and you have to deal with people everyday making little comments about your appearance, judging you and making you feel even worse about yourself, when you could have done that all by yourself.
So yeah, life's great.

 
Oh Savy - I'm so sorry to hear of the rough time you're going through right now!
You're such a lovely girl and have been a great help to many people here in the past (myself included) so I hate to hear you're feeling this way and really hope you're doing better soon.
Hang in there :comfort:

Thank you, that's really nice to hear! :) You are so supportive. I'm trying to hold on, it's so hard sometimes though. :/

Rough time right now, and it's definitely showing in my skin. My dog and my grandmother just died weeks apart, I had a cutting relapse (after being "clean" for around 9 months), I'm back in therapy for depression, I was diagnosed with BDD and I'm being "treated" for what my doctors and therapists think is an eating disorder, so now I feel like a fat bloated pig. I've been eating bad, breaking out, and the size of my pores is making me crazy. You know it's bad when you're laying in bed awake at one in the morning, crying because your skin is so bad and you have no hope it will ever get better and you just want to die, and your tears sting your face because your skin is so irritated from your acne medication. And then you have to get up every morning and put on your face of makeup and your skin is so dry it looks like the cracked earth during a drought, and you have to deal with people everyday making little comments about your appearance, judging you and making you feel even worse about yourself, when you could have done that all by yourself.
So yeah, life's great.

Sorry to hear about your grandma AND your dog.  That sux.  Your post resonated w/ me.  Just know, you're not alone.  Ive been there many times myself w/ the same things you;ve described.  Good luck

Thank you so much. It's always nice to know someone else knows what I'm going through. <3

Rough time right now, and it's definitely showing in my skin. My dog and my grandmother just died weeks apart, I had a cutting relapse (after being "clean" for around 9 months), I'm back in therapy for depression, I was diagnosed with BDD and I'm being "treated" for what my doctors and therapists think is an eating disorder, so now I feel like a fat bloated pig. I've been eating bad, breaking out, and the size of my pores is making me crazy. You know it's bad when you're laying in bed awake at one in the morning, crying because your skin is so bad and you have no hope it will ever get better and you just want to die, and your tears sting your face because your skin is so irritated from your acne medication. And then you have to get up every morning and put on your face of makeup and your skin is so dry it looks like the cracked earth during a drought, and you have to deal with people everyday making little comments about your appearance, judging you and making you feel even worse about yourself, when you could have done that all by yourself.
So yeah, life's great.

 
So sorry for your losses :( I could feel your pain in every sentence you wrote. I completely understand the feeling of waking up and knowing for sure that when you go to the mirror, it'll be an exhausting effort to try to look presentable enough for the day. To the BDD, to the disordered eating, to the makeup on the dry, peeling skin, I understand. Please hang in there.

Someone cursed me, there is no other explanation.. the derm wouldn't prescribe antibiotics but suggested accutane! I cured my acne almost alone the previous time with spiro.. doctors only suggested things that didn't work.. and the medicine that changed my life, they don't like it but accutane is fine for them! If there wasn't that dermatology lesson at the university i doubt i would have at least the 2 beautiful years spiro gave me.

It's so frustrating when doctors don't give you when you think will help. I always feel powerless when I go to the doctors. Even though I do a TON of research before going, I always feel like my words are sort of ignored and the doctors just do what they want. Did they give you a reason for not prescribing spiro?
Skin/Feelings Update: I traveled earlier this week and that ALWAYS gives me a zit or two. I got two this time, but they're going away and don't hurt. My red marks are going away and I feel like I'm going to have decent skin by the time basic training rolls around. Paula's Choice 5% AHA is now a "Holy Grail" product for me, and that's never happened before. All of my other products have qualities that I don't like, but not Paula's Choice AHA. Also, the Olay brush is keeping my skin soft AND helping my red marks. The best thing I'm doing for my skin is still NOT PICKING IT. Ugh, it's so hard because I know for a fact that I have Compulsive Skin Picking issues.. :( But seriously, if I can stop, so can you. So! Message me if you'd like to talk about stopping your picking.

Thank you, your support means a lot. Having bad skin is so hard. It makes every other aspect of life that much more complicated. I'm glad I'm not alone in this, but I'm also sorry you have to deal with these things too. :(