snsdgirl14

My skin has been doing quite well as of late. The only time in the past 2 months I've gotten zits have been right before my period, and I only got one or two then. They healed quite fast and right now my skin looks pretty clear, really clear with makeup on.

 

I'm feeling pretty happy with my skin, I will admit. Still taking Mino, 2x a day, and using Epiduo at night. I just hate that as soon as something with my skin is going right, I focus on another part of my body to dislike. I've noticed that whenever my skin is good, I suddenly become more self conscious about my weight. I'm of average weight and have been told I have a pretty nice figure, but I just can't seem to let it go. 

 

Also, this isn't acne related, but I'm feeling disheartened with my love life as of late. I'm still trying to get over my ex, who hurt me a lot, and the boys I've talked to since him all seem to only be interested in sex. I just want to find a good guy that I have chemistry with. I'm 20 now and I feel like I'll never find them.

I haven't been posting as much on acne.org because my emotional state/well being regarding my acne has improved so much. I still get pimples - usually only one or two at a time though, and they're smaller than the ones I used to get in high school. It's nothing I haven't dealt with before. But now, I am a lot less stressed out if I see myself getting a pimple, even if it's in a bad place (i.e. middle of my cheek - those are the most painful/the worst looking!). I don't like getting pimples, obviously, but I feel like right now I accept them as a part of my life and just deal with them and move on with my day. I'm paying more attention to other things in my life now - like family, friends, school, etc. I guess the Prozac and therapy has really helped after all. I do hope my good attitude continues. 

Guess I spoke too soon. Got a kind of small pimple right in the middle of my cheek, aka the worst place to get one :/ It doesn't even feel big or look big in certain lighting, at all---but then in other lighting (such as sunlight) it looks SO much more noticeable! Ugh...why does that happen? 

 

I missed class today in part because of it. :/ I can't let one pimple bring me down like this. I mean, my skin has been doing a lot better lately and one small pimple isn't going to ruin my life. I've seen so many people on campus with worse skin than mine, looking like they're joyfully living life. I don't know why I let it get to me so much when I have just one pimple. I should be counting my blessings....I have great friends, a good class schedule, just made a good amount of money, great family. I don't judge other people for having some pimples, so why do I think everyone's judging me?

 

I guess I also get worried people look at me and go 'oh, she'd be so much more attractive if it weren't for her skin'. Which is, mostly, just a fabrication in my head. I've been attracted to bunches of people with acne before, ranging from mild to moderate to who knows. For me, how they carry themselves/their personality/their facial structure etc is more important than some pimples. So why don't I think the same about me?

 

I've got a lot of life ahead of me and I can't let a pimple or two bring me down. I could be so much more worse off, in so many ways. A week from now this pimple will be gone anyway. I need to focus on what's important...maintaining my friendships, loving my family and pursuing my education.

I agree with GreenGables, you should definitely look into Spiro and also try to hold back on the emotion when talking to doctors. They're with you to help heal your acne, not heal the emotional scars that comes with it. Telling them too much will possibly confuse them, trip them up, or just plain freak them out. Giving them a simple summary of your acne story will most likely lead you to the right treatment.

Now when I talk to derms, I avoid the emotional stuff altogether. Pretty much just tell them you think your acne is hormonal and you'd like to try Spiro.

My skin has been doing really well ever since I got back to school. I'm not sure if it's because I'm now using at-home blue light therapy every night, or if it's simply because I'm having more fun/spending time with friends/learning new things which makes me less stressed, and less focused, on my skin.

My skin looks 100% clear with makeup on, and IS technically 100% clear, but I still have a few PIH marks that I have to conceal. The good thing is, as of late, my marks have been fading at a much faster pace. I think it's because of my Clarisonic - the daily exfoliation. It's wonderful.

Oh don't be fooled--they say fruit is bad too. And vegetables. Fruit contains too much sugar. Vegetables contain anti-nutrients.

It can get to a point where there literally is NOTHING at all left to eat. Not even water. Fuck it. FOOD IS GOOD.

Lol, it's SO ridiculous.
That's why, in some ways, coming to this forum too much can be detrimental :/ Honestly, it just makes us obsess more and more about our skin.

Thanks Ghostunit. I'm a firm believer of "everything in moderation", including dairy. Obviously excess dairy isn't good for you--and could perhaps impact someone's skin--but incorporating it into your diet isn't sinful. It's all based on a matter of choice.

I don't think the industry is "lying" to us. Regardless of how knowledgable we feel about skin, doctors and scientists know far more than we do. That's why they've gone to school for 8 years or more...most of the acne treatments out there are usually to simply curb acne until one out-grows it. The chance of them "knowing" something that we don't and withholding it from us? Most likely false. I largely believe acne is based on genetics. I know some people who eat horribly and haven't gotten a pimple in their life. I believe diet can IMPACT acne, but cause it? No. Therefore, keeping every food group in moderation = skin is not impacted by diet.

I don't really know "normal" people, lol.

But I have been doing those things. Last night we had mexican food and I ate beans for the first time in 6 months! (That was what I was originally coming to share anyway before I got all upset). I also made grass-fed beef and used the leftover grease/fat for the beans. It was so unbelievable awesome there aren't even words.

And nothing bad happened! No stomach ache, no gas problems, no breakouts, nothing.

I understand where your thread is coming from, completely. Ever since I started coming to this forum, I've read about certain food types we as acne sufferers are constantly told to avoid. Prior to coming here, I never knew that dairy, sugar, carbs, were considered bad. I mean, according to the diet/nutrition forum, every damn food excluding some fruits and veggies causes us to break out. I personally think it's bull. Maybe some people's acne worsens from that, but if you've never thought that food caused an unpleasant reaction for you, then it probably doesn't. Food is AMAZING and we should all stop trying to label it as horrible for our skin. We all need carbs, dairy, meats, etc to survive. Please don't listen to the voice in your head.

The leftover bump went flat, thankfully Very happy. Now there's just a spot of pink PIH which is easily covered. But still...

Honestly, people really underestimate how exhausting living with acne can be. I don't know how I was so carefree in highschool even when I had acne. For some reason it didn't bother me much. I did what I could to help it, but if I got a pimple or two, I didn't care. My acne's always been mild-moderate but nowadays even one pimple sets me off. It's like I'm constantly waiting in fear for the next pimple to pop up. I really don't want to be paranoid about what I eat, what makeup I use, etc. But I usually just say 'fuck it' to the eating thing and eat what I want anyway, I personally don't think foods cause acne, maybe just makes it worse for some people.

I just find it amazing that we all do so many things to keep our skin 'clean' and yet we still get zits anyway. I mean, caring for my skin is the most sequential, dedicated thing I do! I never miss a day of my skincare because I'm always so worried of the consequences. I wash my face twice a day, use my Clarisonic once a day, take Minocycline once a day, use my Tria Blue Light once a day, and use Epiduo overnight. How is it possible that my skin is still oily and bad?

But like I've said before I have a lot to be grateful for. My acne's not awful, it's manageable. I just got prescribed Ortho Cyclen by my NP, which I think I'm going to try. If all goes well maybe this will help keep me clear in the long term and I can stop taking Mino. Dejaclaire, I know you said not to get BC, but the pill does affect each person in different ways. What brand of BC did you take?

I've been thinking a lot lately that exactly one year ago, I was having one of the worst breakouts I've ever had. I've had acne for 4 years now, but until that breakout, it hadn't really bothered me much. Mild - moderate acne, really. This past breakout really made my skin become an obsession. I had red marks all over my cheeks + active pimples + dry skin. I could barely cover it up with makeup, and I would literally have dreams about waking up to clear skin. I had a particularly low point where I heard a boy I liked make a joke about my skin to another friend. Later on that week, I was in the bathroom in-between classes and I looked in the mirror and just felt shocked at how bad my skin looked even with makeup on. I called my mom up sobbing and telling her that I wanted to drop out for the semester and come home.

That breakout, one year ago, is what caused me to become so OCD about my skin/face. But I did it - I pushed through. I started taking measures to clear my skin and month by month, it got better. Finally in May 2012 I was able to look in the mirror and actually see clear skin.

But it's just so odd, yet relieving, to think that so much can change in a year. I still get pimples - I'm still struggling with acne. But it's much, much better than what it was exactly one year ago. Going through that breakout showed myself how strong I can really be. That I can get through anything. And most of all, I am SO happy that I didn't drop out of school because of my acne.

I guess I just wanted to post this because I'm really proud of how I've improved, and I wanted it to show you guys that a lot can change in a year. That even in the midst of what you think your worst breakout it is....it WILL get better. And most of all, that the ones who really love you don't give a damn what your skin looks like. My closest friends and family saw my skin at its worst, and they never once made fun of me for it, or even commented negatively on it. They didn't care what I looked like, they loved me for me. And I can guarantee you, the ones that matter in your life will too.

So..you know what the feeling's the WORST? When you're in the shower washing your face and you feel that tell-tale bump that a pimple is coming. Ugh, it suckssss. I used my blue light on it, iced it, put Epiduo on it....but it still surfaced. It's kind of red and probably as inflamed at it'll get, I'm just really hoping it comes to a head by tomorrow night!

But...you know what? I don't really care. It's amazing but for the first time in a long while, I don't really care about this zit. I'm just focusing right now on everything I've been given in life instead of what I don't have. I don't have perfectly clear skin, but I do have amazing family, friends, and education. I have many opportunities that other people do not and for that I should be grateful.

Plus my skin has been a LOT worse than this before. My skin is actually doing well, I shouldn't be getting upset over one pimple. And I'm not.

I've had my mom accuse me of this before too. She understands better now, but it's still hard. People who don't have acne just don't get how all we want is NORMAL skin--not even 'beautiful' skin. It's not like I want to be super pretty or something I just want clear skin. And they don't get how it feels to go to bed with your face looking somewhat normal and then wake up and it's like a warzone with pimples. It's just a constant fight.

I was kind of bummed this morning but after a full day of shopping with my mom and a family friend, I do feel a lot better. I have been breaking out lately, but it is mostly mild acne, nothing severe. My zits seem to only last a day or so before they're on their way to healing. The marks they leave behind is the most frustrating--but again, it's nothing that concealer can't cover. And when I think about it, ever since I started getting acne, I've never really had GREAT skin anyway. I've always had at least one or two marks that I would cover with concealer. I just want to know what /changed/. In highschool, I honestly did not care about acne very much at all. When I started getting cystic zits it bothered me, sure, but it never depressed me or kept me from socializing with others. I just kept my head up and within a month or so the breakout would clear up and go away. You'd think after years of having acne, I'd get stronger, but it seems like I've gotten weaker. Now even a mild-moderate zit makes me feel unattractive and want to stay in my room all day. I just don't understand.

I guess a lot of times I look at other people or my friends and think "it's just not fair". That they have perfect skin, all they have to do is wash their face once or twice a day and nothing else. That even though I go above and beyond to take care of my skin, I still get clogged pores and pustules. But I guess we all feel that way. And I suppose people dealing with other things--like being overweight, or having a chronic disease, or who got into a car accident etc etc look at others and think the very same thing. We're all envious of something. We all take for granted what we have, and focus on what we don't. In the scheme of things, acne isn't a huge problem (for me). It's mild enough to be concealed with makeup, and it's never been severe. I don't even get pimples on my forehead anymore, which is great because I used to--maybe it's a sign my acne is calming down in general. My acne doesn't prevent me from getting out and enjoying life. It doesn't prevent me from taking a walk or spending time with loved ones. I need to focus more on what's important and less on my looks. I know I will grow out of my acne one day, mostly because neither of my parents had adult acne and my brother is starting to grow out of his now. It's just a temporary problem and I would be silly to forsake good memories or fun times for it.

I'm giving the Solodyn a few more weeks I guess, since I'm going home for Xmas in a few weeks. Then when I'm home if I want to I guess I can see the derm and discuss other options. I just really hope the Solodyn starts working for me.

One thing I find funny is that no matter HOW drunk or messed up or whatever I get, I NEVER forget to do my skin regimen. Lol. In my completely drunk stupor last night I still managed to effectively wash my face and put on moisturizer/Epiduo.

Anyways, my skin has been looking really good this week. I'm not sure if it's just a good week for me or if it's cause I've been taking Vitamin D and Zinc supplements.

Not feeling too great but I think the Prozac is kicking in because I feel less anxious as a whole right now. I got a moderately sized pimple on my cheek that had a hugeeee whitehead....so I popped it But I mean, it was VERY ready to pop, it took like no effort whatsoever. I'm hoping that by the morning it will be less inflamed and that by Thursday it will be mostly healed.

I guess I am just frustrated because my acne is coming back. I had a glorious 6 months or so of clear skin from Doxycycline/Epiduo. But now I have no doubts that the Doxycycline has lost its effects. I'm so scared of my acne coming back full force and affecting my school, my social life, etc. I NEVER want to feel how I felt last year again. I'm planning on buying Zinc and Vitamin D supplements this weekend to start taking. Can't hurt to try it, and it'll boost my overall health too. I'll also most likely be getting new antibiotics soon which I know aren't a long term answer but... :/

Acne is just such a freaking b. Sometimes I look at my friends who ALWAYS have perfectly clear skin and I just wish I could tell them how lucky they are. I know that everyone has their own problems, but looking in the mirror and seeing red bumps and whiteheads on your face--the thing you show to the world constantly, that people identify you by--is disheartening.

But, I have to keep my spirits up. Sooo many people deal with acne, it's not an uncommon problem by any means. I just need to be strong. All my breakouts have calmed down before, it'll happen again. And I'll be doing new things to combat my acne soon. I feel confident that I will have clear skin again. It'll just take time.