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snsdgirl14

Member Since 07 Jan 2012
Offline Last Active Aug 18 2015 09:50 PM

Posts I've Made

In Topic: Nicest Thing That Someone Has Said About Your Acne

17 January 2015 - 02:45 PM

I've been breaking out somewhat and have been a bit of a drama queen about it. I have psychological issues with my skin, which I think border on some form of OCD/BDD. But I was crying to my friends about it yesterday, and they were all so kind about it. They all told me they hadn't even noticed I was breaking out and that it really wasn't bad at all. Maybe they were lying, who knows, but it comforted me to think that people really notice less than we think. I also hung out with a bunch of people yesterday and not one person stared at my skin or treated me any differently. It made me feel good about myself, even if I do have some skin troubles right now.


In Topic: Moderate Acne But It's Killing Me

17 January 2015 - 02:37 PM

Hey, I feel the same way. I was clear for a year on Spiro but have recently been breaking out. Having completely clear skin was so freeing to me. I could go out without makeup, not feel like everyone was looking at my skin, and just truly be myself. I kind of took it for granted--I thought maybe, just maybe, my skin problems were gone forever. But they've come back, and I have two active spots right now which are really getting me down.

 

I know it sucks. But what helps me is knowing that people really don't think of you differently when your skin is acting out. My friends have told me they've barely even noticed, and I don't see anyone staring at my skin or treating me differently since I've been breaking out. You just have to hold on and know that there will be ups and downs with your skin, but eventually, it will be clear again. It may take months, even years to achieve, but you'll get there. In the mean time, don't let acne stop you from living life and enjoying things. I had worse acne years ago and really regret the times I stayed in or didn't hang out with my friends because of my skin. In reality, people have so many other things going on that they barely notice 'bad' skin. 


In Topic: How ya feelin' about your acne today?

07 January 2015 - 11:51 PM

I literally haven't posted on here in a year, but to hell with it. I've been upset and I need to vent. 

 

I am clear now of acne but I have a skin picking problem. I basically create my own trouble. I haven't picked in 2 years, until now. I was bored, and didn't think it would do any major damage. So I went to the mirror and got to picking. I ended up squeezing the shit out of a virtually non-existent blackhead, which eventually turned into a big spot and scabbed over. The scab fell off a few days ago and it's now pink skin. It's not big, but not small either...

 

I just feel like I've back tracked on all of the progress I had made. I haven't picked anything in 2 YEARS. My skin was great. There was nothing wrong with it. I felt like I was on top of the world. I had beaten acne, AND skin picking. But no...I HAD to pick and now I have this brand new pink spot on my face. It's on my cheek, so it's not like you can't see it. I've been holding in my emotions all this time because I didn't want my parents to see me freaking out, but I finally lost it tonight over dinner and started crying in the restaurant. I just feel my emotional state going back to when I had acne, when I picked my skin, when my skin was bad. That was the darkest time of my life. I had never felt so depressed, hopeless, ugly, even suicidal until that time. And I got through it, and I'm so glad, but having something new on my face brings back all of those dark feelings. I've got one half of my mind saying I need to keep it together, and the other half telling me how ugly I am now and how everyone is going to see it and think I'm hideous.

 

Thankfully my parents were not mad at me. But I'm leaving them to go back to school now, and I just wish I could stay longer now. I wish I could stay another month to see how the spot looks then. But I know how ridiculous I'm being. I know if I told these things to like, any other person in my life, they would think I'm crazy. Who puts their life on hold for a spot on their face? Me, I guess. I don't know when I got this fucked up, or how, but it's like I can't let go of the obsession. Ever since this new spot appeared I keep looking in the mirror, taking photos of it to assess it, asking my parents how it is, and cursing myself to hell for picking at my skin. Those are all things I did years ago, too, back when I had acne and acne scars. It's all come full circle.

 

I just want to be happy with myself no matter what my face, or skin, looks like. That's all I want. I see so many people with acne and acne scars living life joyfully and without fear. How do they do that? How do they just not care? I want so badly to be like that. I want to be able to go outside without worrying what my skin looks like. 

 

Anyways, I'm sorry for the random post in here. I haven't posted for a year but all of these problems recently surfaced and I'm having a lot of trouble dealing with them. 


In Topic: How ya feelin' about your acne today?

01 January 2014 - 08:53 PM

I haven't felt this good about my skin in a long time. I have been on 100 mg of Spiro since August 2013 and my skin is finally consistently clear. I haven't gotten a real zit in about 2 months, I believe. I do still get blocked pores/blackheads on occasion, but those are easy enough to deal with it. My skin is also much less oily and I don't need to blot anymore!

 

Having dealt with acne for 5 years, it feels so strange to have it not really be a part of my life anymore. I no longer take an hour to put my makeup on, and even go out in public often without any makeup on. I don't worry that people will see my bumps in natural light, or that I'll get zits if I eat a certain food or sleep face down on my pillow. I used to be so utterly obsessed with my skin, to the point where I wanted to drop out of school. I remember so clearly the times where I would just look in the mirror and then run back to my bed and cry because I hated my skin. I remember the times I got made fun of for my acne, or the times people commented on how oily my skin was. Or when I could've never, ever pictured myself with crystal clear skin as I have now. 

 

I don't think I've "beaten" acne, as like I said, I do get blackheads and zits very occasionally. It's just a lot, lot less frequent. And I do wonder sometimes if the Spiro will stop working someday, and if I'll start getting acne again. But it's pointless to live life in fear like that. I am so happy with how far my skin has come, and how far I've personally come as well. I've become so much more comfortable with myself and my life - even when I did have acne - just because of having the support of you guys. :) thank you all.

 

Sorry for the long post, but I'm very satisfied right now with everything. I really hope you guys find your acne cure this year. 


In Topic: How ya feelin' about your acne today?

14 September 2013 - 01:27 PM

Haven't felt this good about my skin in years. I haven't been wearing foundation for the past week, only a little concealer here and there. And my skin has just looked great! The oil level has definitely decreased and I can tell the Spiro is working. Unfortunately, I still get blackheads, which turn into zits after a couple of weeks. Case in point, one blackhead on my check turned into a zit yesterday and today I was able to pop it. Kinda bummed cause my skin was looking so clear, but oh well, it's only one zit.