Jump to content


Member Since 16 Nov 2011
Offline Last Active Aug 18 2014 03:16 PM

#3445214 Who Did You Used To Be Before Acne

Posted by Graciemeow on 03 August 2014 - 05:12 PM

I was a prepubescent 12 year old lol sad.png

My skin was clear on accutane 3 year ago, though, and it was a great feeling. I try to remember what that was like and push myself toward that every day.


Yeah accutane made me clear for the first time since I was around 12/13 and it was crazy how good it made me feel. I actually forgot what it was like to have acne until it returned about a year after being on accutane. A lot of people take having clear skin for granted where as it's something pretty much everyone on this site would trade almost anything for.



Thanks for posting this. 


I was nine.


Whenever "inner child" comes up, I remember a clear-skinned little girl who had stage fright but loved rehearsal, piano, dance, mermaids and manatees, reading, writing poetry and short stories, going to musicals and plays. I didn't judge other girls, no matter how weird they thought I was. I lived in my imagination, but loved to laugh and be silly with my friends.  I loved my dog. 


Any clear time after then, I was already folding in on myself, dysmorphic, judging myself, judging others.  Only male validation mattered. I still measure my success by my sexual power, including rejection and withholding, although the isolation has made academic accomplishments possible, when I gave up the oblivion of drugs.  The rest of my life apart from my reflection and beauty has blinked away like a dream in the morning. I still love animals, they don't care what you look like. 


Who am I when I'm clear and why am I still afraid, still waiting for the skin fallout, for my body and time to betray me again?


Turn0ver that's beautifully written, thank you for sharing. I strongly believe that the emotional scars of acne run deeper than anything physical, and becoming clear leaves a feeling of constant fear and anxiety of breaking out. It's something I am still struggling with in my journey for achieving and maintaining clear skin. The Love Vitamin website has a lot of articles on how to deal with 'the fear' of breaking out which are a good read and some of it may resonate.

It would be a shame for you to live in fear of breaking out. Are you still close to girls now, or only males? x

#3445201 Information For Pcos/suspected Pcos

Posted by Graciemeow on 03 August 2014 - 04:17 PM

Hello Everyone!


So most of you will be aware that the diagnosis for Polycystic Ovaries can be confusing and depends on a lot of symptoms (which may not all be present) and factors (such as which Doctor you see) etc. For example, I was diagnosed over a year ago because my blood tests showed that my testosterone levels were too high and my periods were very irregular (and I suffer with acne which was my biggest/main concern) however when I had my ultrasound there was only one small cyst which they deemed 'not clinically significant'. Apparantly many women have cysts present on thier ovaries from time to time but these come and go. I don't have a problem with my weight or hirtuism. I know a lot of you out there suspect you may have PCOS but Doctors may not diagnose you with it, or maybe you are in the same situation as me where you have been diagnosed but do not display all of the classic PCOS symptoms. Anyway, I've been doing a lot of research and I recently came across this site:




Which discusses that there are actually two type of PCOS.

Type 1 was mainly focused on insulin resistance, which is believed to be the main underlying cause of PCOS. However the one which interested me the most was 'Type 2' PCOS which is described as non-insulin reistant PCOS and is thought to be caused by the following:


  • Elevated LH from Post-pill syndrome (see above)
  • (I am going to do more research on this and also try and find out how long this can last for because I am convinced that going on the contraceptive pill made all my hormonal issues worse)
  • Vitamin D deficiency
  • Iodine deficiency
  • Hormone-disruping toxins such as BPA
  • Adrenal stress which disrupts ovulation (see Stress article, Low Blood Pressure article, and Sleep article)
  • Thyroid disease
  • Insufficient of dietary fat.
  • Leptin deficiency. (Leptin is a hormone secreted by fat, and can be deficient, especially if there is a history of an eating disorder.)

The suggested treatments for these are as follows:

  • Do not take the birth control pill
  • Iodine and vitamin D to promote normal ovulation.
  • Detoxify to remove hormone disrupting chemicals. 
  • Avoid cow's milkto reduce inflammation and clear acne
  • Magnesium and zinc to block testosterone.
  • Peony & Licorice herbal formula to lower testosterone, bring on the periods, and alleviate acne and facial hair.
  • The herbal medine Vitex (Chaste tree) should NOT be used, especially if LH is elevated. It will worsen symptoms.

Although vitex is described on many sites as 'hormone balancing', this could explain why some people's acne worses on Vitex. I am also going to do more research on this as my blood tests stated that my LH was elevated, yet chaste tree seems to work well for me.


  • Tribulus herbal medicine.
  • Indole-3-carbinol to assist with oestrogen metabolism and clearance

Which explains why a lot of people have success with DIM


PCOS is as complicated to treat as it is to diagnose. A lot of medications that doctors prescribe only deal with type one PCOS which is mainly concerned with insulin resistance - or they just prescribe a birth control pill hoping that that will mask all symptoms. However, it is clear that these medications do not always work as the complexity of PCOS is not taken into consideration, or they are not a long-term option. I hope this helps! Still doing a lot of research on the topic myself but I thought I would share x

#3444197 Who Did You Used To Be Before Acne

Posted by Graciemeow on 29 July 2014 - 12:49 PM

I had two weeks on holiday which i just returned from on Sunday and despite having a great time it wa really good for me to get time away and step back from obsessing about my skin, my regime, my supplements, and falling into the pit of anxiety and depression i was heading into.


It also made me remember who I was/still am underneath all the anxiety and worry caused by my acne.


I used to paint!! All the time. I used to blog and take a lot of photographs and research photographers and read about art! I used to play guitar ! Acne made me forget about all those things because instead of being productive and creative all I wanted to do was clear my skin, research supplements instead of artists, buy supplements instead of camera film and canvases, exercise instead of play guitar.


What were/are you like without acne? DON'T FORGET THE PERSON YOU ARE!!

#3440638 Seeing A Herbal Medicalist/naturopath

Posted by Graciemeow on 10 July 2014 - 03:00 PM

Last week I went to see a herbal medicalist and discussed everything I've been through/on for my skin and where I have had success etc. He seemed quite keen on focusing on the emotional aspects of things and seeing where my 'drive' was and how acne has stopped me in the past, which is good i guess. I know having a positive strong mindset is good for clear skin...but i won't have that until i HAVE clear skin so. I can't see much change on that yet. He gave me more liquid agnus castus and then a seperate 'herbal mix' - I don't know what is in it but i have to take it twice a day and it smells and tastes like butt. He didn't tell me and I didn't openly ask what was in this second mix as I got the feeling he wanted to keep that under wraps?

What are everyone elses experiences of herbal medicalists/naturopath visits? I'm not sure how I feel. I havn't been on anything long enough to see effects although I think Agnus Castus is starting to have an effect again but this is slow acting and i gotta give it time. To be honest I give this shit one more month for improvement then I'm going back on roaccutane, my self confidence is really taking a tough battering and I just want my life back

#3433067 5 Things To Do That Will Make You Feel Better About Your Skin

Posted by Graciemeow on 24 May 2014 - 07:29 AM

I want to post something positive :) Here are some of the things I do when I am feeling down about my skin to try and stop myself plummeting into the horrible inevitable spiral of depression. I think it is important to stay proactive! These things will not improve your skin but give a better attitude towards it and hopefully make you feel a lot better :)



Okay so to start off this is not so much a DO but a massive DON'T but a very necessary DON'T as before you go on to do anything else you need to STOP THIS. I myself am guilty of obsessing over my skin, worry leads to looking in the mirror and over-analysing which leads to picking and messing and pulling which leads to making it look ten times worse which leads to more worry which leads to upset and looking and picking....you get the picture.

Nothing you do to your skin on a picking spree will improve it (unless it's one of those that is just screaming to be gotten rid of - you know what I'm talking about) in which case take on a huge amount of self -control, do the deal, get out before it gets too messy. Looking in the mirror constantly is obsessive behaviour. Your skin will not change over the next ten minutes/half an hour. I say to myself every morning "This is as good as it's gonna get. Deal with it" (You know like Anne Hathaway at the start of the Princess Diaries).



There's a part in Ratatouille (kids films are great...) where the female chef is teaching Linguini the ropes and one of them is "Always keep your work station clean". A good skin regime takes hard work - whether this is a routine you carry out from your bathroom cabinet or whether this is your make up drawer/table - keep it tidy! These are products that you use every day and having them gunky and messy and dusty and disgusting just makes the whole process even more depressing. I buy the best I can, my supplements and vitamins are all neatly arranged in my drawer, my make up brushes are always clean and in order and my foundation always has the lids on. keep it classy.



Just because your skin maybe isn't looking 100% at the moment doesn't mean you should forget about the rest of yourself. You are an ENTIRE BODY and your face is only part of it (yes an important part but what the hell). Give yourself a manicure, go for a long run, go to the gym, do an exercise dvd, bake something, exfoliate yourself and put some moistiouriser on. Whatever makes you feel good! DO IT.



Say to yourself, what am I gonna achieve today? Do I need to finish this project at work? Does my laundry need doing? Do I need to sort this out/pay this bill? Do something proactive and worthwhile so that you can say to yourself at the end of the day "I achieved this" rather than saying at the end of the day "Today has been completley wasted because I sat around moping about my acne".



Okay this may contradict what I just wrote very very very slightly...sometimes if you are having a really really bad down day and you really don't want to go out, the only thing to do is get yourself a nice green tea/peppermint tea/camomile whatEVER you want to drink that will chill you out and cleanse your body from the inside out, get a hot bath or shower, put some nice chill music on and just close your eyes and shut it all out. Take that time to just relaxxxxx. Try and shut all negative feelings out and chillll.


Hope this helps people. I'm sure a lot of people are doing this kind of stuff already :) but these are the main things I do :) If anyone has anything else - share :)

#3433063 Blunt Dating Advice For People With Acne

Posted by Graciemeow on 24 May 2014 - 06:16 AM

Let's all face it- for most of us with acne, dating doesn't come easily. Love doesn't come easily.

And no, it's not because we're all 'ugly' or any of that superficial nonsense. It's because we tend to have self-esteem low enough to win a limbo contest. That's the core of the problem. We degrade ourselves, tell ourselves how 'nobody will ever love us', how 'acne is ruining our lives', how 'a social/love life just isn't possible with acne'. And with enough reinforcement from ourselves, it becomes the truth.

If you have ever thought any of these things, stop. Just stop. Please. To put it bluntly: that self-loathing attitude will not get you anywhere in life. I mean, come on, you are the person you will spend every conscious moment with; at least learn to love yourself!

 Let me tell you the problem that arises when dating with acne: you sell yourself short. You think you're not good enough. And that means you're not confident. And that's one of the biggest turn-offs a person can have.

 In today's world, confidence is everything. Confidence -not to be confused with cockiness- is sexy. It shows that you are a happy individual with self-worth, and who doesn't want to date someone who is happy and secure in themselves? I know I do. Confidence shows you are emotionally and mentally stable in yourself, which is something everyone wants in a partner.

 I don't care whether you have glistening, clear skin or a face full of cystic acne, if you don't love yourself, you can not expect somebody else to love you. What I'm trying to say is that before you start looking for somebody to love, start loving yourself. Stop selling yourself short. Stop saying acne is the reason you can't get a boyfriend, can't get friends, can't get a job, etc.

 I have acne. I am not conventionally attractive. I am overweight.

 Yet I have a boyfriend. I am first in my school's academic rankings. I have friends. I placed first in the violin section of our orchestra. I am in a band. 

 None of this could have been achieved if I have just given up on myself because I had acne. There was no way I would even have a boyfriend right now if I hadn't been confident in myself. There was no way I would have taken up music if I was afraid of everyone watching me while I performed onstage. I wouldn't have met all the wonderful friends I know now had I spent my days sulking shyly alone rather than being friendly. And it's not easy, I didn't say it was: but it is definitely worth it. 

 My point: Acne is not the end of your social, romantic, or academic life.Don't give up on yourself or hate yourself, because then you'll find yourself missing all the wonderful opportunities life throws at you and it will be so much harder to enjoy your life.

 Be confident. Love yourself. With or without acne, you're still a living, breathing human being deserving of love and self-worth. 


when I first opened this post I didn't know what to expect...thought it was going to be something along the lines of 'you won't have a relationship so deal with it'. however, thank you, thank you THANK YOU for this. I have been feeling so torn and awful latley, I've just started a new relationship with someone I've known for a while right when my acne has started to flare up again...this has made it difficult for me to let somebody get close and I've started to push him away... I don't want to do this at all and these words have given me the confidence to carry on with this relationship. Especially "I wouldn't have met all the wonderful friends I know now had I spent my days sulking shyly alone rather than being friendly. And it's not easy, I didn't say it was: but it is definitely worth it." A lot of the time I want to cancel my plans and stay in with cream on my face thinking just one more day will make it better just one more night and I can go out again. this ends NOW. I

#3426261 I Give Up

Posted by Graciemeow on 14 April 2014 - 03:32 PM

sometimes we reach a real real low point where we really don't want to go on. I tried to accept acne as a part of me for years at the age of 17-19 before enough was enough. I'm now 23 and still fight a battle but i won't give up! you shouldn't either! if you ever feel low it is good to come on this site and vent and people are who understand will be here for you :) I hope you feel better and find something that works, please don't give up! xxx

#3392506 Acne Holding Me Back In My Relationship...

Posted by Graciemeow on 04 November 2013 - 05:18 PM

If he likes you already then - go for it! and like you said if he is put off by it then he's shallow and not worth the time. I bet you are a beautiful person both inside and out and if he can't see that then he's not worth your time.

Don't even let acne hold you back, ever. In the past Ive had some pretty understanding boyfriends who I could share how I felt about my skin and they were supportive of it :) he might be the guy!

#3200082 Round 2... Fight!

Posted by Graciemeow on 02 January 2012 - 02:06 PM

Hayyy, im also on my second course of accutane, 40mg a day,  but only 7 days in. my situation is pretty much the same as yours, went on accutane at 19 from 30 mg to 60mg was maximum and then about a year and a half later my skin was back to square one. what does "non comedogenic and non acnegenic" mean? is that regarding the make up you use? I know its easy to get down about the fact that acne may come back again :( thats one of my biggest worries too. I think all you can do is take the right action (which you are doing by going back on a drug that works) and hope for the best. Im hoping to find some people through my blog that have found thier acne didnt really come back after a second course, but i guess that would mean they wouldn't use this site anymore :P second courses are supposed to have a much higher sucess rate :) xx