margox

ACNE is horrible.....it's a thing that i wouldn't even wish for my mortal enemy.... i've been living a miserable life since i started to have acne.....

a lot has happened to me since..... depression came and i literally locked myself in my house for a year..... was diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder on April, 2012.

one of the therapies for Bipolar is that i've got to keep myself preoccupied with other things that'll keep me busy and keep my mind off of stuff that makes me depressed.....

so i've taken to doing some DIY arts and crafts stuff.... i've been sewing, made some stuffed toys, i try to paint, i keep entries in my journal/scrapbook, watch fun stuff on tv.

then I've come across a little cartoon network show called  "Adventure Time with Finn and Jake".......
i am addicted........ I've never had soo much fun and i've never Laughed soo genuinely since i had acne...
watching Finn and Jake adventure all around the Land of Ooo.. at first i was skeptical about watching coz it was really weird and it really looks crazy....
but now i can't get enough of it....... my brother said to me "why are you watching that? it looks like what a crazy schizophrenic person would see around 'em..... it might push you over the edge" (being that i'm bipolar and what not)

but i don't care... i like Finn and Jake..... i've never had this much fun and laughs in a really,really long time...and i need it...to keep me sane.... even if for just an hour!

...so after 6months of trying procedures (which hurts), topicals, and antibiotics i am now going to take oral Isotretinoin_ Acnetrex

my dermatologist put me on a 6months modified course
40mg. once a day after dinner
for seven days
one week, every month!
+ topicals of course <which i also modified...wayyy milder> cetaphil cleanser, clindamycin toner, cetaphil moisturizer (anticipating the dryness)

still scared as heck.... hoping and praying to God that this will be It!!! and please noooo adverse/side effects......
keeping positive thoughts too....

no turning back now......aaaaccckkkk here i go!!!!

here are also my pictures for documenting...... taken yesterday, in natural light...no flash..... (i think it looks better in pics than in real life...weird huh???..... can't stop listening to Sleep Walk by Santo and Johnny Farina)
 right.JPG   1.21MB   77 downloads  left.JPG   1.26MB   67 downloads  f.JPG   1.24MB   51 downloads

H E L P...............

to Accutane or not to Accutane?...that is the question
i went to the doctor's yesterday and my worries have been confirmed..... my skin condition has been going up and down and up and down like a roller coaster. that's why he said that i should now take Isotretinoin/ Accutane.
i've been researching about it a lot lately and i'm overwhelmed by all the side effects.... i'm kinda afraid about it.....
although he said that i will be under close monitoring...... and the treatment would be taken for just a week for every month, within 6 months

i'm still kinda on the fence about it though......because there are a lot of "what if" questions on my mind...

so to those who are using or have used accutane please i need your advice....

...was there a time, when you feel like you're alive, but you're not "Living"?, it's as if you're soul is hovering above your body, a ghost wandering about aimlessly...... floating on a sea of guilt and shame... helpless and hopeless....

...... i don't know what to do anymore.... i have tried many products and there aren't any improvements on my skin... heck i even tried that proactiv stuff and it made my skin worse.
...... i don't go out of my house....... i can't find a job.... i don't talk to my friends, i don't talk to anybody about my acne condition coz i'm scared shitless! i'm scared that they would judge me and it will hurt...and i'm already hurting inside so i don't need someone else to bug me about it.....
......i've been crying a lot lately... and i've been depressed (when my mom died 6yrs ago), but now that i'm having this acne problem, i feel like this wave of depression is much greater and that i can't talk to her about it.....
.....i'm still searching for the right products to help me with this problem...........
.....this site has been my refuge and it's helping me cope... i can rant about my feelings about my acne.....
i'm trying so hard in fighting this kind of feeling everyday............ i take refuge in God, and in this site.......

oh blessed day of glory and triumph...when will you come?...... please hurry!
(will be going to a dermatologist and OB-GYN soon)

...... i don't know what to do anymore.... i have tried many products and there aren't any improvements on my skin... heck i even tried that proactiv stuff and it made my skin worse.
...... i don't go out of my house....... i can't find a job.... i don't talk to my friends, i don't talk to anybody about my acne condition coz i'm scared shitless! i'm scared that they would judge me and it will hurt...and i'm already hurting inside so i don't need someone else to bug me about it.....
......i've been crying a lot lately... and i've been depressed (when my mom died 6yrs ago), but now that i'm having this acne problem, i feel like this wave of depression is much greater and that i can't talk to her about it.....
.....i'm still searching for the right products to help me with this problem...........
.....this site has been my refuge and it's helping me cope... i can rant about my feelings about my acne.....


......i'm open to your stories and advices..... (coz i'm planning to use celeteque products)....... so please feel free to drop any comments!