margox

THANK YOU THANK YOU for your post.... you have written the same thoughts and emotions that i have against this thing called ACNE.

 

just like you... i just wanted to be left alone..... i still do....my brother would even tell me "why don't you go buy a nice dress, or go out"

it just hurts me everytime my family say this to me..... since i had acne, i've reverted to dressing as simple as i can so that i would never draw any attention to myself. don't they think that i would give anything in the world to just "go out" and enjoy myself?..... i'm soo depressed and miserable to the point of feeling that i don't deserve having a new dress, new shoes, or going out, or everything that life has to offer.

 

i feel like i'm in a stand still. i used to be this fun loving spontaneous outgoing adventure girl, now, even the thought of going out of my house freaks me out........ everytime my brother, or any of my cousins ask me to go hang out with them, i make sure to find an excuse so i can't go. I make up lies to try to stay away from family gatherings..... if and when i can't escape, i always feel nervous, my heart pounding right out of my chest, thinking, "what if they made a comment about my face, my skin?"...... and i really couldn't bear with that.

 

still learning everything about ACNE and how to deal with it...... it's a hard, and painful ride.... there are ups and downs....

still hoping and praying that everything will be alright......

this breakout is getting the best of me.............. heck...i've been crying myself to sleep every single night this whole week... what is up with that?.............. i just hate the downside of bp... i'm soo tired...i'm just sooo tired of this never ending cycle.

I realize my scars will never heal and I will probly never stop breaking out but right now I don't give a damn anymore Ima try my best to fix the unfixable and live carefree. Life is to short to worry about my shit face day in day out. Fuck it.

 

 

hell yeah!!!!!

 

also have zits popping up my forehead...but whatevs... i'm surprisingly ok today......     someday we will all be worry free about our acne!.... someday....

Welcoming 2013 with a lot of tiny bumps all over my face.... Not too noticeable from afar but they're there alright... Oh 2013 please be good to all of us here in acne.org

Yes!  so i have bought a book that is deemed very premium of a very definitive source.
I know that it is a substantial book as it is also in the list of the 1001 books one must read before dying...... (Alex?)
Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer.....




can still feel a lot of bumps on my face..... several cysts hurts.... but whatevs!!!!
yaaaahhhh...walked around the mall and didn't give a damn when people looked at me like whaat?
bought a hell lot of books on SALE!!!!!! word......

aside from being very irritable all day from walking under the scorching sun (after a couple months of rains and monsoon, now it feels like summer again here...)... my face itches coz of the heat, i fight every urge to scratch.....

after my errands were done, i let off steam at a mall where i did nothing but roam around.....like crazy.....and ate a slice of red velvet cake...and i'm still beating up myself about that cake!!! aaaaa
i didn't care if people looked at me..... screw them!!!!

although once was scratching under my neck for no apparent reason earlier, and felt an inflamed lymph node...... and just found out my earlobe piercing is infected...... it's not bad, there's no white stuff yet just blood, and it hurt when i put back the earring...just finished cleaning it.... hoping it'll resolve all on its own, if not, i'll go to my doctor.....


and it's just reaallllyy hot here!!!!!!! i'm feeling global warming people!!!!

optimism 20%
pessimism 80%...... i can't get past this...... don't know why.....?

can't get enough of this though....

Its a lonely road to absolution, we must walk alone....


So insecure, so depressed, so lost, so worried, so scared, so angry, so numb,

woooot...... same same........ am just soooo tired of feeling like this....

i really don't have any active breakouts at the moment, but i'm still feeling depressed. i feel like because of the scarring i can never attract a guy.

....sometimes this thought crosses my mind toooo.... i mean everytime i try to go out, whenever a guy looks at me, i would automatically think "he's just looking coz' he's probably wondering what the heck happened to my face..." bleh bleh
..... that's why i don't bother myself too much with guy problems..... whatever...... never had a boyfriend either and i've never mind looking for one..... that thing'll come in God's time...or if not, i'm just gonna go ahead and have a baby, and then when i die, i would meet a super cute guy in heaven!
yaaaaaahhh party zits on my forehead!!!!

yep..... antibiotics could really give you bad ibs..... i know i did.... i am currently taking accutane and it's been ok so far coz the accutane prescription here, where i'm from is different than in the u.s, you can say kinda like a modified course........

anyhow, just like you, i was also an outgoing person, fun,friendly, until my acne..... depression also took a toll on me and as a result i was diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder just a few months back......... yep.... those dark days full of fear, dread, shame,guilt,disgust...everything.... i've been there and still am.......

all i can say is hang on... don't give up...be patient with your skin.... STOP PICKING...... it'll do more harm to your skin!!!!!!!

research like crazy and weigh your options.... a little advice, choose products that you will use on your skin with the least amount of chemicals in it..... it'll really help.....

post anything, rant out... so you can get the bad crazy crazy out of your system.....

Cheers to you....good luck and God Bless on your journey!!!!!!!

weigh all your options...... don't give up.... i know exactly how you feel...... you try every products that you can get your hands on and ask yourself "what am i doing wrong, why isn't it working..." ugh...the pain of it all...physical,emotional, and mental....

always be patient with your skin.... NEVER PICK!!!!! it'll do more harm than good...trust me!

i know i always give this advice to anyone who's new here but i still am sticking up to it.... AVOID wearing MAKE-UP......
believe me it'll do wonders coz you're eliminating the chances for all the chemicals to get in your pores...... (although i do still put lipstick on...sometimes ...i mean it's just in my lips.... haha) but i stopped putting  like foundation, concealer,creams, even a simple powder.....

when my face get oily, i just tap dry it with a soft tissue or splash ICE COLD WATER on my face...... ICY water is my  bestfriend....

also cut your sugars........ hydrate!

personally, i noticed some changes in my skin when i cut the chemicals that i'm putting on my face... so i just stick with my regimen now....

good luck and God bless on your journey...we are all here for you!!!!

up down left left right right down spin down up left right left down spin up down JUMP!

Everytime I get faded I look in the mirror an think damn I look like shit. But fuck it I guess. Ain't  much I can do about it I've tried my best to get where I am now and still look like shit I think I might as well quit my routines and say fuck it I'm goin to look like shit the rest if my life. But deep inside I have too much heart to give up I have to keep on fighting along with everyone else on this board we can fuckin do it.

yep...that's why i avoid looking at mirrors coz i have the urge to punch it everytime...... sometimes when i pass by a mirror unexpectedly i find myself doing rude gestures...to myself........ i'm like F&%* it... F&%* my life..F&%* the world..everything F&%*
yet i am on board with you..... i'm never gonna give up..... it's not fair and i owe it to myself....... i'd keep fighting even if it's just for me!

There's no denying that sometimes these things that they say, kids, parents, siblings, relatives, friends, strangers......HURT.... A Lot!
And you try hard to put on a faint smile, not show the pain..... While you're secretly drowning inside.... Dying a little everytime you hear them cruel words........

Hands up to those who don't have a job right now!!!......
Ugh...... I feel so F'ng worthless coz for the life of me i don't have the courage to go on job interviews..... My life is taking a free fall.....

In the mean time.... Im the one who's taking care of my cousin at the hospital..... And to my complete shock, i saw a friend of mine who, by the looks of it seems to be working at the same hospital.......
What the heck am i gonna do?...... I don't wanna bump into him....aaarrrggghhhh....

I guess im just gonna go incognito and wear a scarf over my head and a mask across my face all the time...... Or if i see him id run away or go pull the fire alarm or something.....

Awesome Margox, great idea to use it as a mask.  Is this something new you've been doing?  I know you were making a toner using something other than the green tea, but i'm not sure if this was the same plant or not.

I was using the bitter gourd tea at first a couple of months then ive switch to this new plant ive been using...... The one im wearing as a green mask on the pictures above....... Ive noticed when i use the moringa oleifera plant as mask and cleanser i feel my face being lifted a bit... Haha a mini face lift and it also feels fresh when i apply it....

Its been helping a lot....... Still have the occasional breakouts.... Hoping everything will turn out for the best