margox

i cried myself to sleep again last night... i don't know what the heck is wrong with me. ?????

still feeling as crappy as always... i just hate it when people look at me coz i start thinking every negative thoughts that there is....

i'm afraid my brain has been re-wired differently.

THANK YOU THANK YOU for your post.... you have written the same thoughts and emotions that i have against this thing called ACNE.

just like you... i just wanted to be left alone..... i still do....my brother would even tell me "why don't you go buy a nice dress, or go out"

it just hurts me everytime my family say this to me..... since i had acne, i've reverted to dressing as simple as i can so that i would never draw any attention to myself. don't they think that i would give anything in the world to just "go out" and enjoy myself?..... i'm soo depressed and miserable to the point of feeling that i don't deserve having a new dress, new shoes, or going out, or everything that life has to offer.

i feel like i'm in a stand still. i used to be this fun loving spontaneous outgoing adventure girl, now, even the thought of going out of my house freaks me out........ everytime my brother, or any of my cousins ask me to go hang out with them, i make sure to find an excuse so i can't go. I make up lies to try to stay away from family gatherings..... if and when i can't escape, i always feel nervous, my heart pounding right out of my chest, thinking, "what if they made a comment about my face, my skin?"...... and i really couldn't bear with that.

still learning everything about ACNE and how to deal with it...... it's a hard, and painful ride.... there are ups and downs....

still hoping and praying that everything will be alright......

does anybody here think,

"he's probably wondering what the hell is wrong with my face?"

when people look at you?

...coz this seems to be the only thing i think of...and nothing, i mean nothing else.

sooo... i've been crying myself to sleep again... every night... the whole week..... what the F is up with that?......

another breakout= another breakdown.....

there i am watching "my big fat greek wedding" on tv and the next thing i know i'm crying myself silly...AGAIN.... and then i stared at myself in the mirror..... how i wanted to punch and smash that mirror to pieces..... i don't know what to think anymore.....this pain is just unbearable..... trying my hardest to still avoid any reflection coz that'll lead to me,obsessing about my skin again.

will this ever end?

SUMMER IS UPON US.... well here where i'm from anyway.

it's freakin' HOT. this kind of heat darkens the pigmentation that acne leaves on my skin...so most of the time i look like a dark-freckled mess!

face is always red-ish....

bleh....