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shadylee

Member Since 23 Mar 2011
Offline Last Active May 22 2015 06:55 AM

Posts I've Made

In Topic: Spiro...my Last Hope

20 May 2015 - 05:15 AM


Well today is my birthday, and I'm not breaking out..

But all I want to do is gouge my derm's nostril out.  I cant tell you the anger I feel towards her.  She assured me if she removed the spot it wouldn't scar.  Such a frkn joke...I have a gouge that is not filling in.  I wake every morning to look in the mirror and totally lose it.  If I saw even if the tiniest glimmer that it wld fill in it wld thrill me.  The cut itself is healing..its getting less red, but the gouge remains the same.  I can't even explain what this is doing to me mentally.  I still can't believe I did this myself.  I am so pissed off she made it sound it was going to be a boo boo that wld heal in a matter of days..

I've been keeping it covered with aquaphor, the other one she took off is healing ok.  This one she went too deep.  I feel utter despair.  At least with my cysts I knew they wld get better.  Now what?  I'll have to wait to get anything done on this and then spend tons of money trying to correct this..and for stuff that may not work??

Ok birthday rant over

In Topic: Spiro...my Last Hope

18 May 2015 - 08:11 AM

Well it's 8 months and 10 days and I'm still clear...I just got over my period and I had no problems.  I can't believe it.  I may be speaking too soon bc my period is just ending and one of my worst times is when its ending..At least I got thru the beginning part with no problems..

With that said I went to the dentist last Tuesday for the first time in so long.  I'm such a freak abt my teeth but my skin was horrible for so long I kept cancelling.  It felt good to be part of normalcy.  While he was examining my teeth he noticed a mole on my arm that I have never noticed.  He told me I shoud go get it checked out, sooner better than later.  UGHHHH...Well I made an appointment and got in last Thursday.  I had 5 moles removed and had cryotherapy on an unhealing rash on my forehead.  2 moles on my arm and one on stomach I had removed bc she said they were of concern.  I had 2 moles on my face removed for cosmetic reasons.  I had a growth in corner of my nose for 3 years now..nobody cld ever tell me what it was..They wld just say it was a growth.  It was white so it didn't bother me hugely but hated that it was pretty noticeable.  I also had a small white dot on nostril which didn't bother me at all.

My derm assured me I wld have no scarring.  It was first thing I asked before she did it.  I would have gotten one in corner of my nose done anyways, I always hated the bump and wld actually prefer a scar than the bump..its very close in corner of nose so it wldnt be that noticeable.  But I wld NEVER have done the tiny bump on my nostril if I had known that it wld end up with the way its looking right now.

First of all she made it sound so easy shmeasy, like it was nothing.  Shes like in 4 or 5 days you will look good.  What a frkn joke!!  There is a gouge on my nostril..the other spot in corner of nose is so lumpy and bumpy which is scaring me.  I know the "roots" of the growth are still in there.  I found out its possible for it to grow back, she never told me this.  I'm on 4th day of healing and it looks no different from first day.  I have to keep the spots covered in aquaphor, they look so disgusting.  I don't see how the gouge in my nostril isn't going to heal without a scar, it looks like a chunk is missing.  I would never have gotten it done, it was so small..I'm so pissed.

The spot I got cryotherapy on is BRIGHT red, its horrible.  I'm not even sure she let it freeze enough.  It was suppose to scab up and it never did, all it did was make it look so much worse.  You can see the discoloration goes deep down in skin..who the f knows how long that will take to go away.

It totally sucks that I just started to feel normal again and BAM now this.  I'm so mad bc the ones on my face were a choice I made.  It seems like I always make the wrong decision.  I might as well have cysts on my face bc these look so much worse.  At least w cysts I know I can get them shot and they will heal ok.  These spots I have no frkn idea what they will look like.  I'm back into hiding in my house once again, its so depressing.  I wake up in the morning with that horrible anxiety..totally sucks.  Its only been 4 days but I wld love to see some kind of improvement, some kind of healing..

Its so bizarre bc the spots she removed bc she was concerned..I really haven't thought abt much.  When I went there I was so freaked out that I might have cancer, it was all I could think of.  Now all I think abt is these gouges in my face..It's so sad that everything on my face effects me so much.

I don't get the results back for like a week, which is pretty excruciating.  Keeping my fingers crossed for good news and of course good healing...Thank goodness I'm not breaking out, I would have to be put in a mental institution!

In Topic: Spiro...my Last Hope

06 May 2015 - 05:40 AM

Still clear!!  Yayyyyyyyyy!!!

In 2 days it will be 8 months on spiro.  For anyone who is struggling after a few months of being on spiro, don't give up!  It took me over 7 months!  I might be talking too soon bc its only been 2 weeks of clear skin, but my skin hasn't been this clear in so long.  My husband and I went to Atlantic City over the weekend to celebrate his birthday and it was the first time in soooo long that I went away without something growing on my face.  It felt so great to be not freaking out over my skin.  The big test will be in the next few days coming, I get my period in about a week.  I always breakout badly right before my period and the worst time for me is right after my period, so we shall see.  Even if I do breakout I feel like spiro is finally doing its work..If it does happen I will bump myself upto 150, but I am really hoping that's necessary.

Thank you so much Thovis for your very informative post, and for also sharing your story.  It's so hard being "older" and dealing with this.  I'm so happy to see you have a supportive family.  I have no idea how I wld've gotten through this without my husband, he was always my rock and support.  I think I might've finally found relief in spiro, I truly hope it sticks!  Have you thought about going the hormonal direction?  Its so frustrating trying to find the solution..

Well after my 7 month post I said hopefully the 8th month will be the magical month..I think it might be!

In Topic: Spiro...my Last Hope

30 April 2015 - 06:33 PM

Well..I'm sure I'll be sorry I posted this, bc it's always a jinx..but here it goes....My skin is clear!!

I haven't had any kind of pimple for a week, its unbelievable.

It's so bizarre I started to feel a big difference in my skin last week, it just felt different..less oily..its like it happened overnight.

I've been on 125mg for 12 days.  I'm guessing that's why the sudden change, but who knows.  Maybe it just took 7 1/2 months for spiro to finally kick in.  I am definitely staying on 125 tho.  A couple of months ago I had tried 125 and had side effects.  This time around no side effects...Yayyy!

I'm going to kick myself in the butt for posting this if I start breaking out again!  But jeez I do feel like I am having that miracle moment..Keeping fingers crossed!

In Topic: Very Red From Aha

23 April 2015 - 07:12 AM

William,

 

Tysm for being so helpful, I truly appreciate it!  Yes I think for at least today I am going to leave my skin alone.  It really looks like a very bad sunburn on my nose and side of my nose..The rest of my face is blotchy..i have patches of places that are less red than others, it just looks bad. 

 

Well lesson learned..must use aha w moisturizer..even though it might take me a long while to be brave enough to use it again..