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fatalbert911

Member Since 20 Oct 2010
Offline Last Active Feb 21 2015 11:22 PM

#3465717 I Want To Buy Some Land, Build A House & Disappear

Posted by fatalbert911 on 28 December 2014 - 10:28 PM

I feel like, I no longer want to live anywere near high population areas not even small towns. I just want to live in some backwoods with a loyal pet & forget about the rest of humanity. This is actually my dream now, I'm 21 haven't continued any kind of education just my hs diploma. For those who don't know me I've been a member of the org for a few years. During that time I had the worst acne I've ever seen anyone have in person. I have all the classic psychological symptoms that you would expect after nearly a decade of really really bad acne.

I'm angry that a can't afford to live the way i want to & instead have to tolerate the stupid masses in society. I thought that after years of this shit I'd get use to it but I haven't. I have no social life, few family members that at least help me emotionally. Idk, I'm just so alone in terms of relationships. I want to be loved by someone badly but I fear I'm just too dame ugly to find a partner lol.

Yesterday i was just walking the streets at night ( never during the day) & just felt I had to release some anger somehow so i started giving randome drivers the finger lol, it felt good at the time but I felt a bit guilty afterwards. anyways it's nice to be back on here. If anything new happens to me ill keep you folks in the know.


#3464460 How Significantly Has Acne Effected Your Life?

Posted by fatalbert911 on 18 December 2014 - 11:04 PM

Acne has been the biggest negative life changing event in my life. I'm 21 yo old now but I've been a member of the org for some years, actually this is my first post in like a year.

As of today my skin has whats called ice pick scar, the one that bothers me the most are the ones on my nose 3 of them are VERY noticible. The sad part is that even though it looks the best it has since ive first got acne, compared to an average looking face its still crap.
  Since I have absolutely no self confidence due to my long fight with acne (around 9 years). I have come up with a plan that involves me doing anything i can to make myself more attractive overall including braces for teeth, straighting my nose and having lazer for the scars.
But the problem is i havent been able to hold down a job because of acne so I literally have 0$ to do any of these things right now. Tbh I don't even want to think about how long it'll take to raise the money. But yeah my life is pretty much nothing like an average 21 yo should be. Needless to say im fucking sad as hell about it all. Recently i started drinking now that i can legally buy it it helps i guess but idk... I just wish i had a gf so bad.
Not just to do it either,I fell lonely without a femal partner thats whats bothering me the most right now that & my lack of friends. Because you see i had to move with my dad because i basically got kicked out of my moms house. So now im doing some hard labor (landscaping). My life here is way worse then when i lived with my mom. My living conditions were just way better with her. Anyways she says that shes willing to take me back if i can hold steady work but, im afraid of the possibility of my mental scars from acne once again forcing me to fail at making an income.
I really am in a sad situation right now dude... Ill say this ill probably be hanging around here with you guys for a bit lol.


#3388918 :(

Posted by fatalbert911 on 17 October 2013 - 05:48 AM

Yeah this is why i didn't go to collage right after high school. I knew it would just be more bull sh!t.

So I've been trying my luck at jobs and guess what? I've petty much been made fun of in all the places I'veI've been. Preventing me from holding down a job.

All you can do is try and w8 it out. Its complete bs


#3366886 What Does Clear Skin Feel Like?

Posted by fatalbert911 on 16 July 2013 - 02:19 PM

I think I'd feel carefree and be ready for anything.




#3358202 Meanest thing that someone has said about your acne

Posted by fatalbert911 on 15 June 2013 - 10:18 AM

If my reality is just mine, then why do others experience the same thing? those people aren't in my neighborhood as far as I know in fact I'd bet they are in many different one's all over the country and you know what? it's the same thing every time. humiliation, negativity, sadness this isn't just a random coincidence, it's the way this world works. Those "charities" especially the real big ones I'm sure a spending that cash real well... in the Caribbean that is XD. 

 

This world is corrupt, bleak, immoral, immature and again just trash. Are there good people? Sure, but in an ocean of trash is hard to see clear waters. Look, I think i do myself harm, the problem is I care to much about the state the worlds is in and I am not yet in a time where I could make any real difference.

 

ps: tell those plp to start an acne charity because lord know we need it lol that fake bum.

 

To the guy wanting to smack those, who think world isn't trash, back to reality - your reality is just yours. And again - the world doesn't end where your neighbourhood ends. If 100 pages of people ranting on acne forum is > than the input done by many compassionate people from various organisations, charities etc to improve the world at least a bit, well... I think it's obvious what really is trashy here. Someone's perception and pov... Very sad.   




#3352825 Meanest thing that someone has said about your acne

Posted by fatalbert911 on 28 May 2013 - 06:27 PM

Yeah and yet people have the nerve to tell me this world isn't trash.... I want to smack them back to reality.

94 pages, damn that will give you some insight into the reality of the world.



well currently I'm being made fun of at work what a surprise... for those of you who say my acne isn't that bad tell this fools lol. it's like everyday man, I'm like dame these people are so sad picking on me for that. it doesn't effect me though I've moved past that a while ago, in fact I laugh whenever they say something. it's funny to me how childish they are. luckily they allow earplugs so I just use that all day long lol, works pretty well mostly. once a make some $ I'll start checking out my options...

 

ah man memories. in my 20's when my shit was bad i had 40 and 50 year old dudes making fun of me when i worked at mechanic shop. made me realize people dont really grow up. i tried to laugh it off at first but if you do that they become persistent and it gets out of control. start taking liberties. i should of wrecked one of those old f*cks maybe they would of shut up about it but ofcourse I didn't. whatever.

yeah, it really bothers me how many older plp are like that. you would think that with age comes out the better quality in a person, but yeah grown ass plp 30 & up still acting in that way makes me feel bad for them really, i won't be like that when im older. these plp have little sympathy or understanding for my situation, i find it pathetic on their part...

 

Real waste of space imo, the world needs less people like that & more open minded ones like  myself/people on the org.




#3352760 Meanest thing that someone has said about your acne

Posted by fatalbert911 on 28 May 2013 - 02:18 PM

Yeah and yet people have the nerve to tell me this world isn't trash.... I want to smack them back to reality.

94 pages, damn that will give you some insight into the reality of the world.



well currently I'm being made fun of at work what a surprise... for those of you who say my acne isn't that bad tell this fools lol. it's like everyday man, I'm like dame these people are so sad picking on me for that. it doesn't effect me though I've moved past that a while ago, in fact I laugh whenever they say something. it's funny to me how childish they are. luckily they allow earplugs so I just use that all day long lol, works pretty well mostly. once a make some $ I'll start checking out my options...




#3349337 I Survived High School, I'll Survive Anything

Posted by fatalbert911 on 17 May 2013 - 03:41 PM

Why thank you, glad my story reached out to you. i hope that some kid going through the same thing reads it and knows that it is possible to push through and that no matter how bad it is if it will eventually end. if i made it i know others can too.

*huge hug*

wow I felt each and every word yu wrote deep in my heart..

yu went through some really emotional times...acne ruins peoples lives ugh!!!

but hey put yur head high coz yur worth it these people with flawless skin aint better than us right?!




#3349150 I Survived High School, I'll Survive Anything

Posted by fatalbert911 on 16 May 2013 - 10:13 PM

Even though I spent my entire freshmen year in alternative school, where there weren't many people and I looked like a tough mother... so people didn't mess with me as much. but for the remaining three years I can remember all the bullying id get for my acne. Funny how people talk so much trash with other people around but one vs. one they never say anything to my face even to this day. I have an intimidating image, 6ft tall serious look on my face and a cold stare that could shake most people up. I guess that in turn helped me to survive those three years, even though I still missed many day's and as a result I spent all three summers catching up my credits for that diploma.

 

Seriously though here's a description of my day, I never went to breakfast instead I would hide in the library and when they where closed I tried to waste as much time as I could in the bathroom. I had to go to 7 classes a day and I dreaded every time the bell rang because I had to walk around with my horrible looking face, needles to say I always tried to get there as fast as I could and when I did get there I'd be so mentally exhausted that I just laid my head down and go to sleep the whole period. I never went to lunch instead again id just go to the library and hide there.

 

I had very few people I talked to, you could count them on your hands. didn't go to prom or any event's. never had any kind of enjoyment for going to school except the part when I got to go home. some day's id be so tiered id just go on the couch and go straight to asleep. the whole thing was a real f'ed up experience but somehow some way I managed to get through it. I mean I didn't even go to my own god dame graduation man, like wth really? When I look back now I try to think of how and why I did make it and there are a few reason why.  

 

One because of my mom, I didn't want to let her down and I myself didn't want to be a drop out and two because I looked at it as something I had to do. had I dropped out I wouldn't have been doing anything anyway because of my acne so I just figured why not just go and get it over with. well I did and from what I can tell I believe I'm ready for anything this cruel, unjust world throws at me. whether it's a crap ass job, the daily ass's of society or a nuclear bomb.

 

Even though I still have ptsd from the whole ordeal I'm much better off in how I deal with it then before. I have an emotional and mental will of iron unbreakable by mere words....




#3322148 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by fatalbert911 on 28 January 2013 - 05:38 AM

Well according my face hasn't looked this well in years so that's a plus. i'm also trying to slowly go out into the world little by little to get my self in the habit of doing it. iv also received positive comment here on the org that's helped too thanks guys smile.png



Ran out of my chromium supplements and in 2 fuckin days my acne came back. WHAT THE FUCK. Am I going to have to take this shit forever. My face is so fuckin red and inflamed. I'm beyond fuckin pissed.

i'm sorry to year that buddy =/ 




#3314411 Do Girls Care About Acne? Tips For Guys With Acne

Posted by fatalbert911 on 30 December 2012 - 07:29 AM

i'll do everyone a favor and take the heat on this one. sigh... ok girls suck man LOL let's face it most girls especially young teenage one's are shallow as hellz. They want a dream boat, knight in shining armor, prince charming, brad pit, a young johnny dep, an orlando bloom, that guy off of twilight. im just being realistic here im not gona sugar coat it, i mean it's all they ever talk about "oh that guys hot,cute,sexy,fine" never hear of acne being any of that shit, my advice kid are three options. 1.wait until your clear to get in the game, 2.get a girl with acne or 3. if by some miracle you find a girl who looks beyond that, go for it. that's rare though & im not even trying to hurt anyone here im ust realistic about it... it sucks i know, dame do i know -_-


#3314402 Bulls Eye, Im Fucked

Posted by fatalbert911 on 30 December 2012 - 06:18 AM

scabs only take a few days to heal? if you're worried about the mark left behind, those go away fast too so don't worry.

idk really i'v never really checked but trust me when it's right between your freaking eyes a few day feels like weeks. but on a positive note my face as a whole is looking better & slowly continues to heal. i can honestly see myself close to being really clear well before my 20th birthday. that would be just amazing and unbelievable after 7 years off this shit. i might just be free at last, starting to see a light but it's weak... for now dame i hope this is it.


#3313907 Meanest thing that someone has said about your acne

Posted by fatalbert911 on 28 December 2012 - 08:04 AM

wow i love & hate this thread. i posted a reply around 20 pages back a long time ago. this thread has such history, im honored to be apart of it

1.anyway last year i was working at a fast food place, doing the cashier potion (here we go right) when two girls come in & one of them was giving the other gestures as if to ask me out or something. when her friend said "no he's ugly"
2.when i went to the airport about 4 or 5 years ago on of the guys who worked inside said to his coworker "dame he's ugly"
3.During my recent employment in this factory,lasting about 2 months i was being harassed on a daily bases. indirectly but on purpose of course. mostly by the mexican illegals but everyone made a generous contribution.
4.i remember one time 5 years ago i was with family in the mall when a stranger shouted out "que feo" which means how ugly in spanish .
5.when i was 15 i asked my dad if he would buy my a chocolate bar when he said "can't you see how your face is?"
6.for the four years i was in high school i was being verbally harassed probably %80 of the time, i had & in fact still don't have many friends...
7.i have been humiliated by nearly everyone i come into contact in one way or another either directly or indirectly.

sidenote: i have been in alot of identical situations as mentioned before on previous reply's all before the age of 20 (im 19 atm)

Comment's:
god dame/what the fuck/holy shit/oh my god/ewww/ugly/hideous/nasty/fucked up/sad/.. just a few

little personal advice:stay away from big citys they tend to have the most shity people, try in live in a rural place its peaceful for us acne folk. although no place is completely safe. just know that someday it will all be over one way or another. build a rock hard emotional barrier & just know especially from this forum that your not alone


#3309919 How I Cope With Acne Out In Public...

Posted by fatalbert911 on 10 December 2012 - 11:46 PM

So i'll never forget the fist day i got it i remember waking up and going to the bathroom seeing my face bursting with 3 or 4 new zits  hell had come... i'm currently 19 years old and threw the seven years that i have dealt with this condition it has impacted my life in a very profound way, really in nearly every aspect. in the early years when i was in middle school it was hell i had no idea how to deal with this i was just a boy and to be dealing with this truly was hell for me. i went on to high school and still didn't really know how to deal with it. i just kept my head down avoided people as much as i could, and just isolated my self as much as possible. so that went on pretty much until i graduated. now at 19 i refuse to go to college until i my skin is good enoph for it, so in the mean time im going to have to find a job because i was recently let go on my first official one on Saturday. ahh it was a shit job anyway lol. sanitation cleaning up being wet and miserable all day fuck that haha  so i'm obviously going to have to go out into the world and find me a job, do realize that i live downtown of a major city so people do tend to have their heads up their asses in my opinion. i also want to say that my skin has slowly been improving sense my 18th birthday but i still have scabs and pigmentation marks as well as large open pores. so i still have some way to go till i look somewhat normal. the point is people still point out my flaws whenever i go to public places, not directly to me but they know i can hear them they do this on purpose obviously. so what do i do when this happens? well sometime's i'll just smile and act it if i don't care or din't hear anything which to me isn't hard because i really don't give a shit lol the year's of experience has forged an emotional barrier that reflect any sort of verbal abuse and not just about acne but really about any type of negativity. i just don't give a f%#k, now obviously not everyone can do this, the only reason i can is because of my experience and the fact that my face isn't as bad as it use to be and even so i still have problems going to public places sometimes it's not easy at all. i can't control what people say so i just remember that words cant hurt you not physically anyway.. to me that's all i care about lol i can't afford to think otherwise kid i have acne ;=::).


#3309915 Why Are People So Mean?

Posted by fatalbert911 on 10 December 2012 - 11:11 PM

everyone is piratically the same when you think about it at least physically. besides skin color we all share the same physical form body wise... The only real thing that makes us who we are to the rest of the world are two thing's in my opinion. The mindset in that you have about your sounding's and your face. take those two things away and we are all clones of each other. people get their confidence, sellfesteam, really everything from their face. it's no secret that in attractive person is much more likely to live a happier life than a less attractive one. if something was to happen to a handsome man's face such as an accident like a burn or a deep cut. it would be devastating to that or any individual. clear skin people have no clue how lucky they are, yet they mock people who look differently  sigh why can't they see that we have feeling just like them, why must they go out of there way to bring people that are different down? i just don't get it i'm not even angry about it anymore really, i just want to know why. is it the way our world works? how can there be talk's about compassion and love when those same people wont even show any sympathy for a young lad going threw something as normal as puberty? why dame it why? people just seem to think fuck it who cares about him anyway? what's the fucking point really, are there lives so bad that they take it out on others? if that's the case then they are a lot of sad people out there because i'v been made fun of in three states now ny,ga,in.. i'm so tired of having my defenses up every day. what's wrong with people seriously it's sicking to me. i'v lost faith in people because of this experience. if i ever get clear i'll never take anything for granted ever again for the rest of my life, really. the only people who i will ever have any respect and sympathy for are the ones who have ever been or are different like i was or in any other way. because i would know that every single day is really a hell of a struggle. To all my acne brother's and sister you all have mad respect and sympathy from me, if i ever see any of you out on the street i'll be sure to show it. you guys are like my acne family as far as i'm concerned lol. we share a special connection that normal people couldn't possibly understand. good look to all of you i want you all to be clear someday as i'm sure you will be...