I can't even begin to explain how depressed I am. In one year I've went from a 18 year old without a blemish on his face to a 19 year old with red marks, scars, and active acne. All I used to do was hang out with my friends, go to parties, and workout at the gym. Now I don't even leave my house. You know that feeling when everyone is looking at your face when they talk to you instead of in your eyes. My second year of college is coming up and I don't even want to go back. I used to want to be a doctor, now all I want more than anything is for things to go back to how they were. No one in my family understands. I can truly say I hate my life.
I really sympathize with you because I'm going through very similar things. My acne started when I was 16 and has been steadily terrible for the last 2 years. I'm going to start college in 3 days and it's a scary thought. I want to be a doctor as well and I'm just another person here to tell you not to give up. It's difficult not to give importance to it but try for yourself to do it. Don't waste these amazing years ahead of you, live your life, and one day you will see that you don't need clear skin to be happy. As cheesy and repetitive as it sounds, life is what you make of it. Everyone has flaws they hate about themselves and although we may not see them right away they are there and very few people at this age are truly 100% confident. What I'm trying to say is that everyone suffers from something and you are not alone. Only God knows the plans He has for you and the blessing you'll give to others as a doctor, give yourself that opportunity. Find confidence in yourself, because I'm telling you, if you don't do it now it's really difficult to regain it later when your skin is clear. People will look at you, that's normal. They may not do it to offend you but it simply attracts them. Don't let this simple thing keep you from the things you want to do, YOU WILL REGRET IT. Once you've wasted years and years of life being someone you are not you'll hate yourself way more for not living, living no matter what is going on. Even if people look at you, no one really care what's on your face when you go your separate way, but YOU are the one wasting your life away caring what others think of you. Those that look at you or say something, they are only wasting a minute of their lives and then moving on, please don't let a minute throw away years for you.
What type of acne do you have? I have cystic-moderate and I've found so much relief in the past month from grape seed oil. Most of my active acne is gone and about 40% of my hyper pigmentation is reduced. It's helped a lot, you might want to try it out, it may just work for you.
Depression is all in your mind. Take control, get out there and change your mindset, no one will care; go out with your friends and do what you like to do. Guys don't care if you have acne, most of them have had it too, and no girl will ignore you because of acne, trust me. Everyone has had acne or an insecurity that makes them miserable in their life. Something that helps me out is to think that people are genuinely nice and kind, sounds over positive but I've judged people by what I thought they were so many times and they always manage to surprise me, so don't lose hope people will still be there for you even if you have acne and marks and the whole deal.
Really wish you the best, you're gonna get through this