the uphill battle

So the amazing, money hungry maker's of Proactive now created a makeup! Yay!!! ....Not. I think Proactive is such an awful product that preys on desperate, vulnerable acne sufferers. I can't help but think Proactive's new makeup formula is intentionally pore clogging to influence consumers to buy more of their acne products. I'm jaded.

I've hated the Proactive commercials for what seems like forever now.. Such obvious marketing tactics to manipulate vulnerable acne-sufferers and just a God awful product. I'm just glad somebody finally made fun of them.

So I just tried my very first session of skin needling on Thursday. It's been 3 days and I'm already seeing a reduction in hyperpigmentation and my scars appear more shallow. I'm kind of stunned, I wasn't expecting it to really work that great.. I've learned not to get my hopes up after a lot of disappointments with past treatments. The Esthetician said I should see pretty significant results between day 5 and day 14 and that my skin will continue to improve for up to a year.

For those of you who haven't heard of skin needling, it's done with a dry tattoo gun. Each little needle penetrates the skin and the body perceives this as an injury and therefore begins collagen production which plumps up pitted scars, smooths wrinkles and improves pigment. She applied a numbing cream to my face 30 minutes prior to the needling. It hurt... but not bad enough to stop or to make me reconsider a second session, though. My skin was red and felt somewhat like a sunburn afterward for the entire duration of the evening, but by the next day I looked back to normal. I'm really hoping this will be the answer I've been looking for to feel pretty on my wedding day! I just wanted to share with any of you who are also looking for an answer to your scars/dark marks. I'll keep you posted!

So I have FINALLY gotten my acne under control, it's not perfect by any means, but definitely manageable. So as expected, I have a new obsession now; my red marks! I hate how they have this special way of looking like acne when I'm clear.. it's awesome. My skin is really fair and I get red marks no matter what, even if I don't touch the pimple! It's not fair. ANYWAYS...

I started this cream that I found at Walgreens of all places for $8. It has 2% Hydroquinone which I guess is supposed to be the devil, but I didn't care..I was desperate. I tried Meladerm, which was Hydroquinone free, for months and saw zero results. So I gave this cream a shot. I've been using it for probably less than a week just at night and have already seen a pretty drastic reduction in my red marks with no side effects whatsoever besides the nasty smell. I just wanted to share in hopes that others could achieve the same results that I did. I know that I personally would want someone to post about a product that worked for them. Goodluck!

As I near my twelfth year of suffering with acne, I still struggle with accepting it. You'd think by now I would have given up on "growing out" of my acne or the dream that acne will someday not be a worry in my life, but I've yet to be able to. I feel so uncomfortable being "that girl" that's always broken out. I hate, even for my fiance, that he has to marry someone that may very well embarrass him someday with my breakouts, scarring and desperate attempt to conceal them with makeup. I'm pretty sure that I already have. I'm also uncomfortable being the only individual at my work with this persistent skin problem. I feel like such a martian sometimes. I wish so badly that I could accept my skin as part of me and my life.. but it has never felt like me and I fear it never will. Has anyone had any luck coming to terms with their acne? Accepting that they will never obtain the skin they would give anything to have?