Accutane was my last resort and it didn't work...

I feel so depressed today, I'm completly out of hope and I don't think I'm strong enough to live with acne for the rest of my life.

I have literally tried everything to treat my acne and finally decided Accutane was the last step, I started Accutane 5 months ago and today I've decided to quit. I was waiting in my derm's office, she was running really late and I was going to get a new script but instead I just decided to walk out.

This drug has ruined my life, my face is literally covered in scars and not the type that I would get before, it has left large linear lines from the smallest pimple. It has given the appearance of a rippled effect. I've never scarred like I did while I was on Accutane.

Not only has the scaring been unbearable but I've sustained a knee injury which has not healed in four months. I'm scared it's going to be permanent.

I really wanted to see this drug through to the end of the course but I've had hardly any improvement and the side effects have been terrible.

For those of you that didn't have success with Accutane, what did you do next?

Sigh

It just keeps getting better and better...

I don't know what to do, I can't cope anymore. Everything just keep spiralling downwards.

I've suffered from acne for 11 years. Two months ago I finally made the decision to go on Accutane. Since going on Accutane, I've got about 10 new deep scars, my body is in constant pain and I've developed tinnitus, not to mention a million other side effects. My skin is still breaking out and I just don't know if I should keep going with it. It would also seem a waste to quit now considering what I've gone through already. I have a derm appointment tomorrow so I guess I'll discuss that with her tomorrow.

Everything else is going to shit in my life, five weeks ago my boyfriend of a year and a half dumped me, probably because I'm a scarred monster now. I'm too unhappy with the way I look to make an effort to make friends. I can't see things getting any better. I'm stuck in a dead end job with no qualifications and I feel so alone that I cry myself to sleep every night.

I wish I had one person I knew in real life who knew what I was going through and who I could talk to. I really need help.

If there is anyone who feels the same and is from Sydney, Australia, I would love to hear from you.

Fear of being judged

Just over a year ago I hardly had any acne scarring and now I have heaps. I haven't seen a lot of friends in that time space and now it seems everyone is trying to get me to meet up with them. I keep making excuses because I am scared of being judged. I don't know how to get over this, I know that if they care or say things then they aren't worth my time but it doesn't stop it hurting.

I really do think sometimes it would be better to just be alone, so at least there is no-one to let down.

Why do I do this?

Every time I get a new scar I completely freak out, I have an anxiety attack and convince myself that I’m not good enough for my boyfriend and he should break up with me. I send him stupid messages and turn into a depressed mess. He constantly tells me he loves and it doesn’t matter but I can’t seem to accept it. I’m really worried that I’m going to end up breaking up with him or he will break up with me because he realises that he can’t help me, or that I won’t believe what he says.

Something positive for a change

Yesterday when my boyfriend came over, I was reading posts on this site and he asked me to show him one. I happened to be reading one about a guy with acne scars who was turned off by his girlfriend's scars, even though he had them himself.

My boyfriend just said "that is bullshit, that guy is not happy with his girlfriend for other reasons and using that as an excuse. When you're not happy with someone, you notice their flaws. If you love someone, you look past it all and it's not an issue".

I was feeling especially down about my skin and thought he must be thinking the same thing, so his comments really helped brighten my day. I am lucky to have someone who loves me despite my skin issues.