4 replies to this topic

[plateaukid]

I go back to college September 29th. I'm looking forward to my junior year, hoping it will be better than the last two, but I sometime feel in the back of my mind that it will just be the same as last year. I'll be on campus again, and I'll have to give presentations in front of class looking the way I am. I'll have to do group projects and look at people directly in the eye so that they know I'm paying attention, even though it's very hard for me to do. Half of the time I might be worried less about what the professor is lecturing than whether or not my face is turning into frosted flakes cuz of the topical cream and medication. Anyone else here act like this once school starts again? I know this all seems really stupid and a pathetic way to deal with the situation.

[fakeplasticskin]

hey plateaukid, I completely understand what you're going through. I remember my freshman year of college I was on medications and i was getting sick of it, so i decided to go tanning which is the worst thing a person with acne can do because it made my face really oily although my acne was less noticeable, I walked around my whole freshman / sophomore year with a tan. It was wierd, a lot of people would ask where i had gone and stuff or if I had gone to the bahamas or florida. I know how you feel, i think the best thing to do is first if you have a derm and he has prescribed like creams and all that crap and it's not working go back and tell him how you feel. But I mean be sincere, pour your heart out, because then he'll understand, tell him a story about an experience you had with acne that made you feel like digging yourself into a hole. It's extremely hard to get through college and have acne at the same time, I went through it and I feel like I lost part of my social life due to it. I have this habit of always looking down at people when i talk to them i can't look anyone directly in the eye, I guess I'm so used to it. I went through the same thing you did although i didn't give many presentations because I was Comp. Science major, and we just write programs, although i was required to take a communications class that was kind of bad, although for that class the semester project was just to give one presentation. Good luck though, if you need to talk about it more i'm here man, and boy do i have shit loads of stories to tell.

[plateaukid]

Thanks for the support dude. I'm a business major, accounting to be exact, and I unfortunately will have a ton of presentations in my classes. I'm even timing when I'm taking certain classes because I know they require a lot of presentations, in hopes that my face will improve by then since I'm currently getting scar treatment. That sounds really stupid to a lot of people, but I try to find every single way possible to not have my face be an issue in what I do. I've felt that I've already lost the first two years of college. Every day it seems the routine is go to class, go to work, study, and sleep. I've tried several times to get more involved in things, but I keep on holding myself back because of how I look. I usually eat all my meals alone, while many other people have friends that they can have lunch or whatever with. A good chunk of this has happened because of how I feel about my appearance. Sometime I wonder what life would be like all these years if my skin had remained clear.

[fakeplasticskin]

jeez man i wonder that all the fucking time also!!! Like in another world, where I had clear skin, there'd be so much shite I wouldn't miss out on!!! Damn man, that sucks with the presentations, but you know one thing though, the teach is going to grade you on your presentation, direct points, delivery, facts, etc., not on your face, so just try to work hard. I guess having acne has made me a better person in trying not judge as much, but then again, I always say, "WHY ME???" I wish people knew what we went through, even my mum doesn't understand sometimes. Are you currently dorming???? As far as the routine goes, I went through it, but I got really sick of it and believe it or not I started joining clubs. The first one i joined was the Literary Society, which is like a poet society, mainly because it didn't shine the spotlite on me, all i had to do was attend meetings and see when to submit my poems for publishing on the literary magazine. But to top it off, the people there were very cool, so i think I got off easy, it was much different from h.s. there because they are more mature I guess. It's hard to take that first step, it took me a long time to do it,and I started out small. I guess being forced to do these presentations and working in groups may numb you up. I got to a point where I was sometimes suicidal, but then I just said, fuck it, life is short, and if i shoot myself, all the people in my high school will have the last laugh, and this may sound stupid, but that's the reason I didn't. I just kept picturing them at my funeral remembering me for having acne and being antisocial, so I just said fuck that shit, I even joined a drama class!!!And eventually I got my M.S. in Computer science.

[plateaukid]

Yeah, I'm going to be living in the dorms for the third year. Except this time around, I'll be in a single. That's awesome to hear ya got a masters in computer science. All the time, like you, I wonder, "Why on earth did I have to get this?" I should really try to make these last two years as good as they can be, considering the fact that my high school years sucked. I know the prof. or TA ain't gonna be judging me on my face, but it's the fact that everyone in the class is listening to you, watching you. It's the fact that I'm the center of attention that I absolutely hate. Sometime I'll even sit in a certain location so that I don't feel that I'm surrounded by everyone. I can't have two people sitting right next to me on either side;it makes me feel like they're looking at my face, even though they probably aren't. It's little things like this I do to try to make it through each day of school. I'm going to make an attempt to get more involved, even though being surrounded by other people all the time makes me nervous cuz of my face. I'm planning on pledging Beta Alpha Psi(it's an accounting fraternity) and getting involved in one or two other things. Maybe being around people who have similar interests will make it better....I hope.