ben100604

My log/blog/epitath

416 posts in this topic

Day 15

The spot on my right hand cheekbone has got a little bit bigger over the last 24 hours, bt you know nothing terrible, but annoying to have it all the same. Nothing new has come up.

I've noticed today that the area to the right of my nose, which hasn't broke out for nearly 3 weeks, definitely does look a little bit clearer now. A shame though that I've got a strip of red marks across my right hand cheekbone! No terrible red marks there, but red marks all the same.

Only god knows what the future holds for me!


When I'm clear, I'm on top of the world. When I have acne, I'm lost.


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Day 16

Just woke up and though I'd check out acne.org! The spot I on my cheekbone seems to have gone down a bit over night, doesnt feel as big. Still stands out though. Its quite sunny here this morning, albeit freezing at the same time and I've noticed that when its really bright out side it seems to mask some of the redness on my skin. I can't really make out how bad my red marks are in this sort of light. I think this is perhaps why I usually feel as though my acne's not so bad in the summer.

This is another weekend I'll be spending in due to my acne and red marks etc. I'm popping out later but only to the local shop. Its sad really but I just cant handle society when I'm looking crap. I did actually go out two nights this week and it was fine really, no problems, although alcohol was involved, so I probably just gave up caring! But thte thought of going into my town centre and walking down packed streets seems really intimidating. My mood changes though, a fw weeks ago I went into town on a busy Saturday and it was ok. In the past I've been in town looking a lot lot worse than I do now, but that was usually just emergency shopping trips at christmas or birthdays. The last 3 summers I've hidden away from going out and thats really pissed me off, because I always had good summers before that, with acne or without. As long as my skin stays fairly clear between now and the summer, I'm going to try to enjoy myself a lot more in the sun this year


When I'm clear, I'm on top of the world. When I have acne, I'm lost.


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Day 17

A bit annoyed at the minute. The spot on my right hand cheekbone is still there, maybe its gone down a tiny bit, but nothing dramatic. Then earlier on I found this little lump on my right hand cheek. Its red but not in the least bit painful. I barely ever get any acne in my beard area, so its a bit strange that ones popped up here. The fact that its not painful is usually a good sign, so hopefully it will go pretty soon. One good bit of news is that the spot that came up on monday on my right hand cheekbone seems to have left barely any mark.

My skins certainly feels the best it has in years when I run my hand over it. My forehead, left hand side of my face, right cheek are all clear apart from the one spot I mentioned above and a few red marks. Its that damn cheekbone area which still seems active and the right hand side of my nose still looks a bit messy because of red marks. Hopefully things will get better still next week etc


When I'm clear, I'm on top of the world. When I have acne, I'm lost.


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Day 18

The spot that came up yesterday in my beard area seems to have died pretty quickly. I had a shave last night and was able to get a better look at the spot in question. It had a head on it which I squeezed and a little bit of solid pus came out. When I woke up this morning, all that can be seen now is a little scab, so that should be gone in a few days!

Found a little red bump on my left hand cheekbones this morning! Horror of horrors! I haven't had any acne there for about 4 months. Not big or painful and hopefully it will stay that way. I do occasionally get similar looking red dots on my left hand side area and they seem to go pretty quick. Hopefully this one will too. The spot on my right hand cheekbone is still there and still noticeable. Doesn't seem as painful as yesterday, but its certainly taking its time in dying.

3 weeks now since I got acne on or around my nose, which is fantastic news. I'm still not sure of how duac's going to pan out though. The amount and severity of my acne has gone down pretty well for just 2 1/2 weeks of duac, but I get the feeling I'm probably still not going to ever get completely clear. I can seem me just getting small little spots and no biggies, which is certainly better than nothing


When I'm clear, I'm on top of the world. When I have acne, I'm lost.


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Day 18 (cont...)

The little red bump on my left hand cheekbone is still visible but I cant feel it when I run my finger over that area, so perhaps its going down, I just hope I'm not imagining things. Damn my right hand side though!!!!!


When I'm clear, I'm on top of the world. When I have acne, I'm lost.


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Day 22

Not updated for a few days as I've been out socialising!

That suspicious little bump I mentioned in the last post didn't come to anything, its probably one of the shortest lived spots ever, it lasted for about 6 hours and then disappeared without a trace.

I've had barely any acne up to today, I found a little spot which is a little bit painful where my temples meet my hair, so that covers it up a little bit which is good. The only other stuff I've had in the week are some tiny little bumps on my forehead. The spot from last week on my right hand cheekbones still hasn't gone down completely! Theres still a little bump there. I washed my face about 1/2 hour a go and did find what feels like a minute little bump next to my nose, it feels like a bit of dry skin. I've had this before and I think that they generally just disappear without a trace, but I'm a bit paranoid that its gonna swell up over night. I haven't had acne in this area for about 3 1/2 weeks now, so I want it to stay clear!!!!

So thats 3 weeks done now on duac and my skin is still getting better! My skin still isn't what I would say is 'great', but its definitely getting there


When I'm clear, I'm on top of the world. When I have acne, I'm lost.


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Day 23

The spot on my temples has gone down a bit now and isn't painful at all, but damnit, I found another spot come up on my right hand cheekbone, its not huge but it makes all my other red marks in that area stand out more. I also just found near my left ear a lump, which isn't particularly red or painful, its just a lump....I think it could go the same way that as the spot I had come up last sunday, just a bit of pus and then gone. But these two spots have hit my confidence, regardless of how well I'm doing and how well I've done all this week, two spots suddenly make me feel like shit. I'll get over it no doubt


When I'm clear, I'm on top of the world. When I have acne, I'm lost.


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Day 24

Good news is that the lump near my ear has nearly gone down and theres very little redness to it, so I doubt there will be much of a red mark if any. Bad news is that the spot on my right hand cheekbone has got a little bigger :( Its not really that big at all, but theres quite a bit of inflammation around it, so its gonna leave a red mark.

All in all, it's a been a good week for my skin, it could have been really good if I hadn't had that spot come up on my cheekbone, but its early days with the duac I suppose. Red marks on my cheekbones are still kinda crap looking, but they don't stem from any major acne, so they shouldn't stick round for long. Around my nose is starting to look good now. Its been about a month since I had any acne there and the skin tone is getting much better.


When I'm clear, I'm on top of the world. When I have acne, I'm lost.


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Day 25

Well todays been one of those days where I look in the mirror and suddenly realise that I look kinda crap. I found another spot up on my right hand cheekbone this morning, although it could have been there a few days, I think I may have mistaken it for some old acne. So theres currently 2 active lesions there and 2 red marks. I really can't get my head round why this area has become the last refuge for my acne. That is why acne is so crap, its just unexplainable and unpredictable. I've also had some tiny little red 'dots' come up today, but they're nothing really.

I'm probably looking the best I have in over a year and a half but even after all the improvement I've seen I still feel as though I look terrible, no matter how clear my forehead and left hand side of my face are, the right hand looks bad and just seems to bring everything else down. I've seen results with duac but I was hoping for quicker ones. I really don't know what else I can do, I'm not going to be getting on roaccutane due to my abnormal level of ALT enzymes, although its only just out of the normal range. Oh how I pray for some new revolutionary acne treatment, don't we all?!


When I'm clear, I'm on top of the world. When I have acne, I'm lost.


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Day 26

It was about a month ago I looked in the mirror and thought "oh jesus, my skins looking shit" and I decided to swap from benzamycin/differin to duac/differin and well I look clearer now than I did a month ago. The left hand side of my face and my forehead and probably the clearest they've been in the last 3 1/2 years, I cant honestly remember any other time when they may have been clearer. The right hand side though still isnt doing that great. The stwo spots I had on my right hand cheekbones have gone down a bit in size overnight, but the amount of inflammation around the lesions is still the same. I just have to keep on going and hope that in the next month that area starts to clear up as well. Stranger things have happened with my acne, so Its not too much to ask.......


When I'm clear, I'm on top of the world. When I have acne, I'm lost.


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Day 27

Everything seems to have reduced a bit over the last two days, still not actually gone though. I'm feeling good though, but knowing my luck I'll break out when the weekend comes.

I forgot to say, but duac did eventually start bleaching my sponge. I think it took about 10 days or so, whereas benzamycin would usually take about 1 - 2 days. I think thats because I used to slap on loads of benzamycin and I put on much less duac.


When I'm clear, I'm on top of the world. When I have acne, I'm lost.


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Day 32

Things have got better and better. I didn't get any new acne last week. I had 3 little things which looked as though they could go bad but they all only lasted half a day before disappearing, leaving no marks!

I still have red marks scattered here and there but they're fading pretty quickly and the quality of the rest of my skin kinda outweighs the small crap bits. I still get a bit of acne paranoia, but I'm starting to accept that if I do get any minor bumps or itches, that they will be gone within a day.

I was walking back to where I work today and I just couldn't believe that I was honestly at a point where I'd had virtually no acne for a week and that my skin was actually looking ok. Its difficult to describe how happy I am, I'm not really jumping around shouting, but the confidence and motivational boost I've had are really good. I haven't been this clear for 3 1/2 years which was a long time ago. I was a 19 year old back then and now I'm 23, so lifes a little different, although I am still just about classed as young. I don't know what else to say at the minute really, I don't think I'll be updating this as often now, but I'm sure my acne will come back at some point.....


When I'm clear, I'm on top of the world. When I have acne, I'm lost.


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Day 33

Hmmm, I think I was being a bit too triumphant yesterday! After writing yesterdays entry, I went and washed my face and discovered a spot on my forehead! DAMN DAMN DAMN! Its still there now, I suppose its a medium sorta spot and its got a little painful today. Gone by the weekend I should expect.

In the first month of duac/differin, its certainly reduced the amount of acne I get. This makes me think that in another months time, a lot of my current red marks will have faded and not been replaced with more redmarks. Thats what I'm hoping for anyway! I hope these red marks on my right hand cheekbone have faded in a month too. They're probably my only fairly bad ones at the minute. I have a couple on my forehead, but they aren't stand out ones


When I'm clear, I'm on top of the world. When I have acne, I'm lost.


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Day 33 (cont...)

Goddamnit, I just found a painful lump in the middle of my forehead, which is one of the worst places I think to get acne, after the tip of the nose. Last week went so well and now I've got 2 spots in 2 days on my forehead. As I was looking in the mirror, fretting over my forehead, I did notice how the area around my nose was looking really good. But....... *sigh* I want everywhere to be looking as good as possible. Maybe I'm just overreacting, maybe they'll go down quickly. The one that came up yesterday isn't soooo bad, but the one I just found looks like it could be a papule.

Current mood: pissed off


When I'm clear, I'm on top of the world. When I have acne, I'm lost.


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Day 35:

The spot on my forehead that came up on monday has gone down quite a bit now. The one that came up on tuesday appears to have started going down as well, I woke up this morning and it wasn't as painful, but its still fairly bad. I've had a little spot come up on my right hand cheekbone, its taken about 3 days to come up, but it's not a terrible one, its pretty small.

I was thinking earlier, The two spots that have come up on my forehead this week are the first two that I can remember in a long time, so maybe they're just one offs? I hope so.

Round my nose is looking clearer and clearer now, just waiting for some red marks to disappear completely. It was the worse area I had for acne when I started duac and it hasn't broke out once since. I've noticed that I'm not getting any blackheads in that area as well now, which quite often led to a painful red spot

God I wish I was completely clear. I'm fairly clear at the minute, but still there is acne and red marks. A year ago, I was so upset with how crap my skin was, its tons better now, but still its not great......


When I'm clear, I'm on top of the world. When I have acne, I'm lost.


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Day 36

Well the spot from monday has disappeared and the spot from tuesday is going down a lot quicker than I thought. The little spot on my right hand cheekbone just seemed to fizzle out. If I hadn't had those two spots on monday/tuesday I would have had an excellent week so far. I've had a few tiny spots my forehead, but nothing noticeable really or painful. I just hope the weekend is quiet acnewise!


When I'm clear, I'm on top of the world. When I have acne, I'm lost.


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Day 38

Things have gone pretty quiet acnewise over the weekend! Still got the little spots on my forehead, but they havent got any bigger. I got a bit worried a few minutes ago, because i noticed a bit of red to the left of my nose, but I've just realised that its a faded red mark, at least I hope it is. There definitely was one there and its not raised at all. I hope next week that I dont get any noticeable acne.

I was round a friends house yesterday morning and the last time I was there in the morning was before christmas. The last time I was there, I looked in the bathroom mirror with the daylight coming in and I thought "hmmm theres still quite a bit of red and spots", but yesterday I looked and thought "hey cool, theres barely anything!". Thats really made me realised how much I've got better over the last 5 weeks.


When I'm clear, I'm on top of the world. When I have acne, I'm lost.


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Day 39

Good news is that the suspected spot to the left of my nose, definitely is just a faded red mark. phew! However, last night I Realised that the spot I thought had 'fizzled' out on my right hand cheekbone, seems to have had a second wind!!! Its got a bit bigger and a head on it. Its a whitehead but it's the sort that isn't poppable......what I mean is that the membrane of the pus filled bit is kinda shrivelled and tough. In the past I've found that these tend to take a few days to dry up and then just peel off. Nothing major and I'm not that bothered, although if it disappears over night I would be most grateful. The tiny red spots on my forehead all seem to have got smaller overnight!

Confidence is on the up! All I need is a few more weeks for some redness to fade and then I'll be so happy. Then perhaps I can look into getting a girlfriend!


When I'm clear, I'm on top of the world. When I have acne, I'm lost.


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hehe, two would be a dream!

Day 41

Things are going pretty well! I ended up peeling off the top layer of the spot on my right hand cheek bone, there was a bit of sorta semi-solid pus which fell out, it still seemed quite inflamed. Today, though, its gone down loads and theres just a little scab there now. Theres probably going to be a red mark left, but nothing major. No other new lesions popping up! Been feeling confident today, feels good!


When I'm clear, I'm on top of the world. When I have acne, I'm lost.


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Day 43

A little spot came up to the left of my nose yesterday, but it was pretty tiny. Its not noticeable and its flat now, not raised at all. I did panic at first, but calmed down after 30 seconds. I just found a bit of peeling dry skin where the spot on my right hand cheekbone was. I peeled it off, so hopefully the red mark there is gonna fade with little trouble.

In some lights my skin does look really good now, but under some lights my skin still looks pretty bad. Theres virtually no active lesions about these days, but there just seems to be flecks of redness here and there. I dont know what they could be from as theres quite a few to the left of my nose for example, where I've had barely any spots for a few months now. Looking back at photos from 2002, when I had zero acne and my skin was the clearest its been since I was about 13, I did seem to have a similar redness on my cheeks as well. Back then though, I didn't need to scrutinise my skin so much and only really looked at it in like the bathroom mirror and a few work mirrors. So I probably didn't notice it back then. The light that it looks worse in is in my kitchen, with the fluorescent light on, eek that makes me look really bad. It really shows up my enlarged pores. It also shows up these little bumps on my forehead that I can't feel when I run my finger over the area. Anyway, I never checked my skin out in this light back in 2002. Maybe it would have scared me back then, but I think the texture was probably a little bit better. But, just how terrible must I have looked in the past with lots of red marks and active spots on my face along with this poor-ish texture. The redness I expect will reduce over time, at least I hope so. I want a consistent skin tone!


When I'm clear, I'm on top of the world. When I have acne, I'm lost.


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Day 45

This morning I found that I've got a spot come up where the right hand side of my nose meets my face. Its quite painful to the touch, although it doesn't look as bad as it feels. Its the first spot I've had in that area since switching to duac, so I expect its just a one off. Hopefully it should go in the next few days. Its been a week in between my last spot and this one, I was hoping that duac would get me down to one spot a week. Ideally it would be one spot per month, but I've only been on duac for 6 weeks, so maybe there is still some improvement to come.

The red marks on my right hand cheekbone have faded quite a lot this week, which is good. The spot I had come up in that area last sunday, has left a very minor red mark which shouldn't hang round too long.

I'm going to stop using moisturiser in the evening now. I didn't use it two evenings this week and I found that if anything, my skin seemed slightly less oily. The first hints of oilyness seemed to come back after 3 hours, which is the same if I use moisturiser. I'm still going to use it in the morning, due to the dryness caused by shaving and also a layer of moisturiser before applying differin does help to reduce dryness. When my skin was clear back in 2001/02 I never used moisturiser, I only started using it late in 2002 because I panicked over my returning acne and thought that matte moisturisers would sort it out. The only reason I need to moisturise now is because differin gives me a tight face and I dont want that first thing in the morning. The rest of the time, my sebum helps to keep my face moisturised, so whats the point?

The texture of my face in some lights, horrifies me though. The worst light I can find is when its fairly sunny outside and if I stand by the kitchen window looking in a mirror. It just looks as though I have hundreds of red marks across the centre of my face, in areas where I haven't had acne for upto 5 months. I just don't understand how these marks can still be visible. My cheeks, which haven't really had acne for about a year, don't seem to have this redness, so perhaps it will fade, but I just don't know.


When I'm clear, I'm on top of the world. When I have acne, I'm lost.


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Day 45 (cont...)

I don't know whether I'm imagining things or not, but it seems like the spot on the right hand side of my nose has gone down a bit. I'll have to wait til tomorrow to see if it is indeed on the way out though. Found a little blemish just below my right eye, nothing bad, but its a little red mark


When I'm clear, I'm on top of the world. When I have acne, I'm lost.


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Day 46

well the spot next to my nose doesn't seem to have shrunk any more since last night, although it is less painful which is a good sign. Last night, however, I did find a blackhead on the top of my left cheek, which seems a little inflamed. I hope it goes quickly as when I used to get blackheads in this area, they had a nasty habit of swelling up. I'm just gonna bp it every 4 hours or so and hope that does some good.

Feeling pretty bad about myself today. IT just seems that no matter how much my acne improves, my skin still looks pretty ragged...


When I'm clear, I'm on top of the world. When I have acne, I'm lost.


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Day 47

The blackhead thing hasn't done much at all, not got any worse and I don't think its gonna get any worse. Spot on the side of my nose has gone down, a bit more. Things aren't great but I've felt a bit better today


When I'm clear, I'm on top of the world. When I have acne, I'm lost.


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