Posted 13 September 2014 - 10:15 AM
Hi everyone! So accutane course has been rough-ish lately. First, I had what I would call a rather insignificant breakout this week. Two small clogged pore/whitehead things, then an actual zit (albeit, very very tiny) on my cheek. I had my eye on that specific pore for a month now, noticing it was a clogger since early August. It wasn't doing anything so I thought it could be a keloid/hypertrophic scar forming. I was actually somewhat relieved when mid-day Thursday it became poppable. Left a red mark, but it seems to be fading.
But accutane rash hit hard this week. My whole upper body was covered in red spots (although not my back?) and I was pretty upset about it. I wound up loading on hydrocortisone and moisturizer for three days. I know you aren't supposed to use too much hydrocortisone cream, but it's the only thing reducing the inflammation. I've also had crazy dry eyes and I can't seem to hydrate enough. I'm battling the constant feeling of sickness and headaches so that's no fun. Ibuprofen does seem to help with just general discomfort.
Finally, I'm definitely noticing a change in mood but I'm not sure I can attribute it to the tane. I've moved, started a new job, have a less than ideal living situation. I do feel like brain fog is real, as I'm constantly searching for the right word in conversations. I'm also noticing much increased social anxiety. The best way I can describe it is that there is a disproportionate physical reaction to even the mildest social discomfort. So just a coworker talking to me triggers sweaty palms, red face, jitters. It's very annoying, and downright scary at times. I'm not sure if this is tane related or not. I sure hope so.
I don't regret taking accutane. I told myself I would deal with whatever it took to get clear skin and I meant it. But I'm not really one to complain about things (or if I am, I do it jokingly) and this isn't exactly a walk in the flawless-skin park. Yes, my skin is so much better (although lately I feel like my shallow scarring and faint red marks look a little worse, but that may be my imagination), but tane is wreaking havoc in other areas of my life. I reach the 120 mg/kg benchmark on October 5, but I'll continue beyond that. My next derm appt is Oct 16 and using my prescription through then will bring me to 128 mg/kg. I imagine he will either prescribe me two more weeks at 60 mg or a month at 40 mg, which should put me in the 140 mg/kg range. That may be the best I can do.
I'm upset about this current round of breakouts, but I also don't know if they even count as breakouts, you know? They are so small. Maybe those don't go away. I worry about breaking out this late in the course (entering month 5 on Thursday this coming week) but I have been largely clear since the two month mark. Is it unrealistic to expect to be 100 percent clear of zits, whiteheads, clogged pores? I guess, how do you all define "clear"?
Lifeinfaith: I'm glad the pimple came and went and hopefully it's smooth sailing again for you. The digital prescription worked fine. This doctor's office seems more on top of it than my last one, so I'm grateful for that. I used to bring in the paper myself and wait for the prescription. I'd heard about issues with the digital prescriptions (kids and their newfangled technology! Get off my lawn!) but it was pretty seamless. I'm glad I now have enough accutane in stock to make it past that 120 mg/kg benchmark. That feels like a relief, for some reason.