So I've been suffering from acne since i was possibly 13 years old??? Roughly, I'm now 22. It was never rly terrible until I was 18. It got quite sever for some reason my last year of high school and then again all through college. I completed 2 1/2 years of college but then it got so severe and I developed such social anxiety over the active acne and scarring that I basically closeted, took some time off school and got a job where I can work from home so I don't have to go out of the house if I'm feeling super down about the scarring. I still get out at least 4 to 5 times a week and I'm trying not to let it hold me back. I need to retain an at home job for now just because it's steady and I know I can always show up as I am still unfortunately struggling through that path of self acceptance.
One thing I decided after talking with a therapist, close family and friends, is that something needed to change. I'm a brooder and so I wouldn't always do this, but on an off day/(off hour even), I might stare in the mirror and just pick apart and scrutinize my skin to the point where I would feel like all that negativity and stress was CREATING more acne. What a vicious cycle. I realized something needed to change. So due to my nice at home work situation, I decided to take a one-month purge from mirrors. Basically I covered up the main one in my bathroom. I avoid the other minimal ones like the downstairs mirror. If i'm going to the grocery store, I let my mom give me a brief rundown to make sure there's nothing funky going on like black make up streaks on my face (lol) and it's been seriously helpful. Between selfies and just this crazy age of technology, it's been damaging for me and our culture helps me to obsess about it so I've decided to take back some control of myself.
I'm not sure if I have BDD, as my acne and scarring could be considered severe, but I do think that this cleanse is exactly what I needed and I'm happy so far that I started. It's only been 4 days and I plan to go a full month doing this purge. i suggest everyone try it at some point in their lives, even if they don't consider themselves to have any traits of narcissism and aren't super critical of their skin. It's a fun life experience in all honesty! We're so used to seeing our reflection. It takes me back to a time so long ago ( I like imaging what life was like in other time periods, romanticizing other eras and whatnot ) and there was a time when I'm sure they wouldn't look in any handheld mirrors. It's cool to disconnect from your image and get more in contact with your personality and spirit if you believe in that kinda thing. I feel like a fuller person after disconnecting now.
My true goal is to one day not be even affected by what I see in the mirror. To look in the mirror with nice skin or look in the mirror with bad skin and know I have a ton of worth regardless. I hope that one day will happen but for now I have taken a step to gain some control over my life and it feels good.
Any thoughts on my decision, anyone who has maybe tried this before, any general comments about narcissism and if you feel this would help/hinder your situation are greatly welcomed!