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Avoiding Mirrors For A Month

acne scarring narcissism body dysmorphic disorder

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#1 k8steroonis

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Posted 08 May 2014 - 01:34 AM

So I've been suffering from acne since i was possibly 13 years old??? Roughly, I'm now 22. It was never rly terrible until I was 18. It got quite sever for some reason my last year of high school and then again all through college. I completed 2 1/2 years of college but then it got so severe and I developed such social anxiety over the active acne and scarring that I basically closeted, took some time off school and got a job where I can work from home so I don't have to go out of the house if I'm feeling super down about the scarring. I still get out at least 4 to 5 times a week and I'm trying not to let it hold me back. I need to retain an at home job for now just because it's steady and I know I can always show up as I am still unfortunately struggling through that path of self acceptance.

 

One thing I decided after talking with a therapist, close family and friends, is that something needed to change. I'm a brooder and so I wouldn't always do this, but on an off day/(off hour even), I might stare in the mirror and just pick apart and scrutinize my skin to the point where I would feel like all that negativity and stress was CREATING more acne. What a vicious cycle. I realized something needed to change. So due to my nice at home work situation, I decided to take a one-month purge from mirrors. Basically I covered up the main one in my bathroom. I avoid the other minimal ones like the downstairs mirror. If i'm going to the grocery store, I let my mom give me a brief rundown to make sure there's nothing funky going on like black make up streaks on my face (lol) and it's been seriously helpful. Between selfies and just this crazy age of technology, it's been damaging for me and our culture helps me to obsess about it so I've decided to take back some control of myself.

 

I'm not sure if I have BDD, as my acne and scarring could be considered severe, but  I do think that this cleanse is exactly what I needed and I'm happy so far that I started. It's only been 4 days and I plan to go a full month doing this purge. i suggest everyone try it at some point in their lives, even if they don't consider themselves to have any traits of narcissism and aren't super critical of their skin. It's a fun life experience in all honesty! We're so used to seeing our reflection. It takes me back to a time so long ago ( I like imaging what life was like in other time periods, romanticizing other eras and whatnot ) and there was a time when I'm sure they wouldn't look in any handheld mirrors. It's cool to disconnect from your image and get more in contact with your personality and spirit if you believe in that kinda thing. I feel like a fuller person after disconnecting now.

 

My true goal is to one day not be even affected by what I see in the mirror. To look in the mirror with nice skin or look in the mirror with bad skin and know I have a ton of worth regardless. I hope that one day will happen but for now I have taken a step to gain some control over my life and it feels good.

 

Any thoughts on my decision, anyone who has maybe tried this before, any general comments about narcissism and if you feel this would help/hinder your situation are greatly welcomed!



#2 AlexanderJ86

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Posted 08 May 2014 - 06:52 AM

So I've been suffering from acne since i was possibly 13 years old??? Roughly, I'm now 22. It was never rly terrible until I was 18. It got quite sever for some reason my last year of high school and then again all through college. I completed 2 1/2 years of college but then it got so severe and I developed such social anxiety over the active acne and scarring that I basically closeted, took some time off school and got a job where I can work from home so I don't have to go out of the house if I'm feeling super down about the scarring. I still get out at least 4 to 5 times a week and I'm trying not to let it hold me back. I need to retain an at home job for now just because it's steady and I know I can always show up as I am still unfortunately struggling through that path of self acceptance.

 

One thing I decided after talking with a therapist, close family and friends, is that something needed to change. I'm a brooder and so I wouldn't always do this, but on an off day/(off hour even), I might stare in the mirror and just pick apart and scrutinize my skin to the point where I would feel like all that negativity and stress was CREATING more acne. What a vicious cycle. I realized something needed to change. So due to my nice at home work situation, I decided to take a one-month purge from mirrors. Basically I covered up the main one in my bathroom. I avoid the other minimal ones like the downstairs mirror. If i'm going to the grocery store, I let my mom give me a brief rundown to make sure there's nothing funky going on like black make up streaks on my face (lol) and it's been seriously helpful. Between selfies and just this crazy age of technology, it's been damaging for me and our culture helps me to obsess about it so I've decided to take back some control of myself.

 

I'm not sure if I have BDD, as my acne and scarring could be considered severe, but  I do think that this cleanse is exactly what I needed and I'm happy so far that I started. It's only been 4 days and I plan to go a full month doing this purge. i suggest everyone try it at some point in their lives, even if they don't consider themselves to have any traits of narcissism and aren't super critical of their skin. It's a fun life experience in all honesty! We're so used to seeing our reflection. It takes me back to a time so long ago ( I like imaging what life was like in other time periods, romanticizing other eras and whatnot ) and there was a time when I'm sure they wouldn't look in any handheld mirrors. It's cool to disconnect from your image and get more in contact with your personality and spirit if you believe in that kinda thing. I feel like a fuller person after disconnecting now.

 

My true goal is to one day not be even affected by what I see in the mirror. To look in the mirror with nice skin or look in the mirror with bad skin and know I have a ton of worth regardless. I hope that one day will happen but for now I have taken a step to gain some control over my life and it feels good.

 

Any thoughts on my decision, anyone who has maybe tried this before, any general comments about narcissism and if you feel this would help/hinder your situation are greatly welcomed!

I have actually stopped caring about the culture you talk about. I don't let myself be influenced emotionally by bullies, the media, Hollywood, the porn industry, etc.



#3 k8steroonis

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Posted 09 May 2014 - 07:04 PM

So I've been suffering from acne since i was possibly 13 years old??? Roughly, I'm now 22. It was never rly terrible until I was 18. It got quite sever for some reason my last year of high school and then again all through college. I completed 2 1/2 years of college but then it got so severe and I developed such social anxiety over the active acne and scarring that I basically closeted, took some time off school and got a job where I can work from home so I don't have to go out of the house if I'm feeling super down about the scarring. I still get out at least 4 to 5 times a week and I'm trying not to let it hold me back. I need to retain an at home job for now just because it's steady and I know I can always show up as I am still unfortunately struggling through that path of self acceptance.

 

One thing I decided after talking with a therapist, close family and friends, is that something needed to change. I'm a brooder and so I wouldn't always do this, but on an off day/(off hour even), I might stare in the mirror and just pick apart and scrutinize my skin to the point where I would feel like all that negativity and stress was CREATING more acne. What a vicious cycle. I realized something needed to change. So due to my nice at home work situation, I decided to take a one-month purge from mirrors. Basically I covered up the main one in my bathroom. I avoid the other minimal ones like the downstairs mirror. If i'm going to the grocery store, I let my mom give me a brief rundown to make sure there's nothing funky going on like black make up streaks on my face (lol) and it's been seriously helpful. Between selfies and just this crazy age of technology, it's been damaging for me and our culture helps me to obsess about it so I've decided to take back some control of myself.

 

I'm not sure if I have BDD, as my acne and scarring could be considered severe, but  I do think that this cleanse is exactly what I needed and I'm happy so far that I started. It's only been 4 days and I plan to go a full month doing this purge. i suggest everyone try it at some point in their lives, even if they don't consider themselves to have any traits of narcissism and aren't super critical of their skin. It's a fun life experience in all honesty! We're so used to seeing our reflection. It takes me back to a time so long ago ( I like imaging what life was like in other time periods, romanticizing other eras and whatnot ) and there was a time when I'm sure they wouldn't look in any handheld mirrors. It's cool to disconnect from your image and get more in contact with your personality and spirit if you believe in that kinda thing. I feel like a fuller person after disconnecting now.

 

My true goal is to one day not be even affected by what I see in the mirror. To look in the mirror with nice skin or look in the mirror with bad skin and know I have a ton of worth regardless. I hope that one day will happen but for now I have taken a step to gain some control over my life and it feels good.

 

Any thoughts on my decision, anyone who has maybe tried this before, any general comments about narcissism and if you feel this would help/hinder your situation are greatly welcomed!

I have actually stopped caring about the culture you talk about. I don't let myself be influenced emotionally by bullies, the media, Hollywood, the porn industry, etc.

 

It's a life long process, in my opinion to detach from what society has been bombarding you with. Also, I can't entirely  blame society as I have bought into a lot of these ideals, as well. Thank you for your comment though. Any tips on how you've detached so fully/what you fill your time with now/and if you ever see anything that influences you or tempts you back to that culture? I think a lot of people buy into it because it's easy to get swept up in/a good distraction.



#4 AlexanderJ86

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Posted 10 May 2014 - 04:45 AM

 

So I've been suffering from acne since i was possibly 13 years old??? Roughly, I'm now 22. It was never rly terrible until I was 18. It got quite sever for some reason my last year of high school and then again all through college. I completed 2 1/2 years of college but then it got so severe and I developed such social anxiety over the active acne and scarring that I basically closeted, took some time off school and got a job where I can work from home so I don't have to go out of the house if I'm feeling super down about the scarring. I still get out at least 4 to 5 times a week and I'm trying not to let it hold me back. I need to retain an at home job for now just because it's steady and I know I can always show up as I am still unfortunately struggling through that path of self acceptance.

 

One thing I decided after talking with a therapist, close family and friends, is that something needed to change. I'm a brooder and so I wouldn't always do this, but on an off day/(off hour even), I might stare in the mirror and just pick apart and scrutinize my skin to the point where I would feel like all that negativity and stress was CREATING more acne. What a vicious cycle. I realized something needed to change. So due to my nice at home work situation, I decided to take a one-month purge from mirrors. Basically I covered up the main one in my bathroom. I avoid the other minimal ones like the downstairs mirror. If i'm going to the grocery store, I let my mom give me a brief rundown to make sure there's nothing funky going on like black make up streaks on my face (lol) and it's been seriously helpful. Between selfies and just this crazy age of technology, it's been damaging for me and our culture helps me to obsess about it so I've decided to take back some control of myself.

 

I'm not sure if I have BDD, as my acne and scarring could be considered severe, but  I do think that this cleanse is exactly what I needed and I'm happy so far that I started. It's only been 4 days and I plan to go a full month doing this purge. i suggest everyone try it at some point in their lives, even if they don't consider themselves to have any traits of narcissism and aren't super critical of their skin. It's a fun life experience in all honesty! We're so used to seeing our reflection. It takes me back to a time so long ago ( I like imaging what life was like in other time periods, romanticizing other eras and whatnot ) and there was a time when I'm sure they wouldn't look in any handheld mirrors. It's cool to disconnect from your image and get more in contact with your personality and spirit if you believe in that kinda thing. I feel like a fuller person after disconnecting now.

 

My true goal is to one day not be even affected by what I see in the mirror. To look in the mirror with nice skin or look in the mirror with bad skin and know I have a ton of worth regardless. I hope that one day will happen but for now I have taken a step to gain some control over my life and it feels good.

 

Any thoughts on my decision, anyone who has maybe tried this before, any general comments about narcissism and if you feel this would help/hinder your situation are greatly welcomed!

I have actually stopped caring about the culture you talk about. I don't let myself be influenced emotionally by bullies, the media, Hollywood, the porn industry, etc.

 

It's a life long process, in my opinion to detach from what society has been bombarding you with. Also, I can't entirely  blame society as I have bought into a lot of these ideals, as well. Thank you for your comment though. Any tips on how you've detached so fully/what you fill your time with now/and if you ever see anything that influences you or tempts you back to that culture? I think a lot of people buy into it because it's easy to get swept up in/a good distraction.

For me, it is very easy. I am a paranoid-avoidant schizoid. Schizo is a fancy word for "being split". Schizophrenia means "being split inside the skull". Schizoid means "split off from society". I have been separate from society my entire life. In the beginning I was forced to and now I can no longer endure the culture and the society resulting from that. At the moment, I am a volunteer for The Venus Project.



#5 hedgecore

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Posted 10 May 2014 - 04:53 AM

Get a load of this guy

#6 k8steroonis

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Posted 10 May 2014 - 12:20 PM

Ah, I feel as if I am independent of others on some levels, and that all this acne and focusing on it has detracted from that aspect of myself that was once strong. But humans are inherently social creatures. No man is an island.

 

I don't get quite how The Venus Project and your personality disorder fit together though in all honesty...



#7 faceandlms

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Posted 11 May 2014 - 12:07 AM

I can sympathise.The worst is harsh flourescent-lit drugstores. Especially if you suffer from redness. 

 

I was in the states once on a trip and caught my reflection and actually broke down in tears as soon as I got out of the store. 



#8 AlexanderJ86

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Posted 11 May 2014 - 02:45 AM

Ah, I feel as if I am independent of others on some levels, and that all this acne and focusing on it has detracted from that aspect of myself that was once strong. But humans are inherently social creatures. No man is an island.

 

I don't get quite how The Venus Project and your personality disorder fit together though in all honesty...

I am quite social as well. My social skills are fine. I am just not interacting a lot with people.

 

The Venus Project is a completely different culture. It is something that suites me and understands me (as opposed to the current one).



#9 notweirdatall

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Posted 04 June 2014 - 06:01 PM

I think most people have experienced that whenever they dont take a look in the mirror they just think they are fine.

 

Whenever it happens accidentally, you feel better than the days before and it is because you aren't concious of your face until you look yourself in the mirror or someone tells you something they shouldn't (you should ignore them, you're doing everything you can).

 

i wish people where more concious about this



#10 k8steroonis

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Posted 09 June 2014 - 10:29 PM

I can sympathise.The worst is harsh flourescent-lit drugstores. Especially if you suffer from redness. 

 

I was in the states once on a trip and caught my reflection and actually broke down in tears as soon as I got out of the store. 

 

I do actually suffer from redness and I find the more I worry about the redness, the more i breakout and it down spirals. The whole office setting/grocery/drug store lighting is THE WORST. Walmart sucks too. The moment I walk in any place like that I feel hideous and just want to gtfo as soon as possible. But I'm working on it. After all the inside dictates the outside moreso than vice versa. The gentler we are with ourselves, the easier it will be to get past all this :) Sorry to hear tho you suffer from the same set of issues. I feel you and it's not fun.



I think most people have experienced that whenever they dont take a look in the mirror they just think they are fine.

 

Whenever it happens accidentally, you feel better than the days before and it is because you aren't concious of your face until you look yourself in the mirror or someone tells you something they shouldn't (you should ignore them, you're doing everything you can).

 

i wish people where more concious about this

 

Yessss I agree with 100% of what you say. When ppl point out redness/acne they're either extremely socially ignorant, or just feel like being a cruel person to bring you to the lowness they're feeling. 

 

You're right tho, should focus on the solution more than what we're seeing in the mirror. Lately I've been trying to focus on the potential I have rather than the acne I have. It's been helping quite a bit. It's super important to remember that how you look does not dictate your worth, which in our society is a daily battle if you ever flip on a tv or browse thru an instagram page---not recommended 



#11 leelowe1

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Posted 10 June 2014 - 05:22 PM

So I've been suffering from acne since i was possibly 13 years old??? Roughly, I'm now 22. It was never rly terrible until I was 18. It got quite sever for some reason my last year of high school and then again all through college. I completed 2 1/2 years of college but then it got so severe and I developed such social anxiety over the active acne and scarring that I basically closeted, took some time off school and got a job where I can work from home so I don't have to go out of the house if I'm feeling super down about the scarring. I still get out at least 4 to 5 times a week and I'm trying not to let it hold me back. I need to retain an at home job for now just because it's steady and I know I can always show up as I am still unfortunately struggling through that path of self acceptance.

 

One thing I decided after talking with a therapist, close family and friends, is that something needed to change. I'm a brooder and so I wouldn't always do this, but on an off day/(off hour even), I might stare in the mirror and just pick apart and scrutinize my skin to the point where I would feel like all that negativity and stress was CREATING more acne. What a vicious cycle. I realized something needed to change. So due to my nice at home work situation, I decided to take a one-month purge from mirrors. Basically I covered up the main one in my bathroom. I avoid the other minimal ones like the downstairs mirror. If i'm going to the grocery store, I let my mom give me a brief rundown to make sure there's nothing funky going on like black make up streaks on my face (lol) and it's been seriously helpful. Between selfies and just this crazy age of technology, it's been damaging for me and our culture helps me to obsess about it so I've decided to take back some control of myself.

 

I'm not sure if I have BDD, as my acne and scarring could be considered severe, but  I do think that this cleanse is exactly what I needed and I'm happy so far that I started. It's only been 4 days and I plan to go a full month doing this purge. i suggest everyone try it at some point in their lives, even if they don't consider themselves to have any traits of narcissism and aren't super critical of their skin. It's a fun life experience in all honesty! We're so used to seeing our reflection. It takes me back to a time so long ago ( I like imaging what life was like in other time periods, romanticizing other eras and whatnot ) and there was a time when I'm sure they wouldn't look in any handheld mirrors. It's cool to disconnect from your image and get more in contact with your personality and spirit if you believe in that kinda thing. I feel like a fuller person after disconnecting now.

 

My true goal is to one day not be even affected by what I see in the mirror. To look in the mirror with nice skin or look in the mirror with bad skin and know I have a ton of worth regardless. I hope that one day will happen but for now I have taken a step to gain some control over my life and it feels good.

 

Any thoughts on my decision, anyone who has maybe tried this before, any general comments about narcissism and if you feel this would help/hinder your situation are greatly welcomed!

I am attempting to do this too.  I can go the whole day happy as a clam and once i see my acne its like the world is over.  Struggling to keep up with this but its my goal, especially since my acne is worsening and i have no plans to sit at home feeling sorry for myself all summer. 


It's a rocky road but like everything else in life, there is always a beginning and an end.  Here's to finding my end.

 

God is good to me..........more than I deserve.

 

James 1:2-4

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.





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