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#1 WishClean

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Posted 02 April 2014 - 08:27 PM

Hi everyone (a bit of a long story, read if you are interested),

I haven't posted on this forum for a few weeks due to a very busy schedule. I used to be on here every day, and it helped me get through the darkest time of my life. I took a break from acne discussions to focus on living and enjoying life now that my cystic acne is under control for the most part. I still have small pimples under the surface of my skin, but usually those go away with peels. My scarring and damaged tissue is what is mostly bothering me now, and I'm sick of my family and friends reassuring me that it's not noticeable. I know they mean well, but I want a reality check.  I'm really hoping you can tell me what you think, please be honest.

 

Ok, here's the story. I was starting to gain my confidence back after having severe acne for a year, and I thought I was ready to start dating again after being single for a long time.  I started talking to someone I met on an online dating site, and for a month we exchanged texts constantly. I felt an instant connection, and he did too.  Then the conversations moved to skype, and every time we videochatted he told me how pretty I look etc. We had intelligent conversations that lasted for hours, I hadn't felt this strong connection with someone in a long time and I didn't think I ever would again. So I finally agreed to meet him in person, and unfortunately we met in broad daylight, and we sat inside a coffeeshop with the sun shining right on my face. I tried not to let that affect my confidence, but he kept staring at me and I didn't like that. We had a good conversation, he asked me a lot of questions and seemed interested in my life, then we went to a movie as planned. However, I just felt that he wasn't that into me anymore. To make things worse, when he drove me back to my car after the movie (it was still early btw), he said "Should we have an awkward hug?" and that was it. The next day, he sent a text late in the afternoon (usually he would text me all day long) saying "had a lot of fun last night." I responded, made a funny comment, and asked him a question....no response until the next day, 12 hours later! Then nothing again until the day after. I even texted him but he just seemed uninterested and the texting didn't continue for long because he never bothered to ask me anything back. I feel so bad about myself right now....I hit an all time low, and I don't know if I can ever bring myself to go out on more dates. This confirmed all my insecurities and my worst fear of being rejected because of my looks. I didn't think this guy was superficial...actually, I was disappointed that he looked flawless (perfect body, cute face, good skin) because I couldn't compete with that. 

I just wanted to vent. On top of this rejection, I received a rejection from my dream job and then I also screwed up a very important job interview today because I was distracted. I feel like a failure in so many ways. 

I took 2 photos of my face on the same day, from a different angle. The third one I added on April 8th, with my face looking smoother. Is this a mindf*ck of what? How am I ever supposed to feel normal? In most photos and on skype, my face looks smooth, and then up close it's a disaster. What do you think, am I exaggerating or do I have  legitimate reasons to believe that I was rejected due to my face? I thought my personality would be enough to make up for some flaws, but apparently even intelligent guys who appreciate smart girls are superficial. :/

*sorry again for this pathetic rant, this is my ultimate low*

 

Attached Thumbnails

  • yogaface.jpg
  • yuck.jpg
  • Facetoday2.jpg

Edited by WishClean, 08 April 2014 - 08:45 PM.


#2 paigems

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Posted 02 April 2014 - 09:54 PM

I'm awful at giving advice about things like this, but I just wanted to let you that your skin really does not look bad at all. You are also very pretty :) I can totally relate to feeling rejected, though, and especially because of physical appearances. For whatever reason, you and him weren't meant to work out. Try not to let this stop you from dating because you will find someone for you who thinks everything about you is great, even your skin! I'm a picker, and sometimes my bf sees me after I destroy my face picking and he still thinks I'm pretty. I think he's crazy lol, but I think there's someone like that out there for everyone. Feel better!



#3 WishClean

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Posted 02 April 2014 - 10:04 PM

I'm awful at giving advice about things like this, but I just wanted to let you that your skin really does not look bad at all. You are also very pretty I can totally relate to feeling rejected, though, and especially because of physical appearances. For whatever reason, you and him weren't meant to work out. Try not to let this stop you from dating because you will find someone for you who thinks everything about you is great, even your skin! I'm a picker, and sometimes my bf sees me after I destroy my face picking and he still thinks I'm pretty. I think he's crazy lol, but I think there's someone like that out there for everyone. Feel better!

thanks for the kind words. You are lucky to have someone who appreciates you for who you are! We live in such a superficial society that it's hard to find genuine people. This guy spent hours talking with me and wanted to know everything about my life and my career, and seemed genuinely interested. So the only thing I can think of that put him off is my face (which, ironically, was looking worse than it has the past few weeks probably because I was nervous about meeting him). And more ironically, the day after the date, my face calmed down again. 

I still don't get why he even bothered to text the day after we met if he wasn't planning on continuing the conversations like before. I usually find it hard to really like someone, that's why I'm so disappointed it didn't work out. He seemed to be everything I was looking for and more. 


Edited by WishClean, 02 April 2014 - 10:05 PM.


#4 Kim28

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Posted 02 April 2014 - 10:08 PM

You are beautiful, and if a guy can't see beyond that tiny amount of scarring, he's not worth your time. I have been through 2 rounds of Accutane, and my husband has never made me feel anything but lovely looking. There are plenty of men out there that would never focus on something that you can't even see without a super-daylight-close-up.



#5 michelle0940

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Posted 03 April 2014 - 02:59 AM

Hello Sweetie, 

I am going to be SUPER SUPER honest with you, and you skin does not look bad at all.

I can understand you insecurities...because I am anal about my skin- but I am 100 percent honest when I say- you look great.

 

I know how you feel, and don't worry about the guy. I have had many experiences like this too. Some people are just flaky. I could tell you 4 stories I have experienced like that, especially with online dating.

 

It's 100 % NOT you. 

 

I am new to this site, I have actually been dealing with problems with my skin that came out of the blue and have been driving me crazy. It has been a roller coaster ride and now it seems I have no more break outs, and I am slowly improving my skin texture. What I am using now seems to be working great. Since you also share the same concern as I do ( texture) Maybe some of these products will be usefull to you?

The one thing that I bought that works absolutely AMAZING is Redmond healing clay, it actually can be eaten as well ...which I don't do, I apply it as a mask. It literally sucks and sucks everything out, its a great skin detox. 

http://www.redmondclay.com/products/

Thats the website. 

Another supplement I came across- which I am convinced has been my GOLD, is THYMEX

Here is that link as well ---- it suppots the Thymus gland, the main gland of the immune system and it even helps people with mrsa

http://www.amazon.co...iews/B0006IIEDQ

 

Another great supplement,  is Relora - it helps reduce cortisol from stress, and high cortisol can fuel acne 

 

Also if you are really having a bad skin texture day and you want a saving grace,

this make up- AMAZINGGGG. 

http://www.sephora.c...5?skuId=1097039

 

Just some things to help, but sweetheart you are beautiful!

stay smiling!

hugs*

Michelle



#6 Bubs92

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Posted 03 April 2014 - 08:48 AM

Hey there, i did have an old acne.org account here but its been a long time since i logged on and forgot all my details so had to make a new one.

 

In fact, your post MADE me make a new one just cause i wanted to comment on it.

 

Your skin is amazing, im sorry but if you think thats bad skin you wouldnt even believe what im dealing with. I would have so much confidence with skin like yours, you look amazing. I know better than most that someone simply telling you this means nothing. And ive got no answers. But your skin looks absolutely fine, no-one is gonna focus on your skin for a second, no-one is gonna double take, nothing. You look like a totally normal person.

 

Really hope you can go out on more dates and just forget about your skin, you really shoud, you look fab!

 

good luck 



#7 WishClean

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Posted 03 April 2014 - 09:26 AM

You are beautiful, and if a guy can't see beyond that tiny amount of scarring, he's not worth your time. I have been through 2 rounds of Accutane, and my husband has never made me feel anything but lovely looking. There are plenty of men out there that would never focus on something that you can't even see without a super-daylight-close-up.

thanks Kim, I agree with you. Rejection still hurts, though, but I'm glad people on this forum can relate to this feeling of insecurity. I was hoping this guy was going to prove me wrong, but all he did was confirm all my doubts about myself. Where are those non-superficial men hiding? I don't see any here lol 

 

UPDATE: I don't understand men at all. The guy just asked me out again. I'm confused. 


Edited by WishClean, 03 April 2014 - 10:09 AM.


#8 BeautifulPerseverance619

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Posted 03 April 2014 - 10:22 AM

^  I am sorry for your ordeal, WishClean!   I think rejection is something we all acne sufferers can relate to. *HUG*  It's a partly a product of the culture we live in.  Sad thing is people do treat people differently based on appearance, economic status, age, etc..   This is especially true in the dating relm .   IF I can encourage you with anything it is this..  The people that reject you, for those shallow imperfections, are the ones that will turn you into the direction of that special one or persons who will love you unconditionally (or close to it).   I use to get upset about being rejected, but I realized that I am wasting my time getting upset over someone that obviously wasn't the person for me.  I realized there is an estimated number of 3.5 billion women on this planet.  I ask myself, "Now, why exactly are you getting upset over one or couple other females, when there is an estimated 3.5 billion of them on this planet"?   I can tell you that I am glad that that I didn't end up with many of my love interests because I realized later than it probably wouldn't workout long term.   But did I think that way during the time where my mind was so rapped up in them?  NO!   Don't get me wrong.. THe rejection still hurts,whether they say it or show it, but I deal with a little bit better than I use to.   Plus, I just remind myself of all the women that did show interest in me, and that I do have some desirable qualities.

 

To me.. Your skin doesn't look bad.  Seriously, I am a little bewildered why that guy rejected you (if he truly did).  I would put you in the naturally attractive quadrant of women.   The only thing I could guess would be  that he felt there wasn't enough chemistry between you two.    Maybe, even he felt you were holding back or that he saw that insecurity you have with your complexion.   I have to ask..  Did he verbally say he didn't want you see you, anymore?  OR are you just guessing based on his messaging style/timing?  I am just curious.  Maybe, next time at the end or the beginning of the date, you can ask, " Does my skin bother you"?  "  I have to be honest that I feel a little bit insecure about my skin right now.''    Seriously, you may be surprised by what response you get. I think the person will appreciate the honesty and being upfront.    If he is bothered by it.. He isn't worth it.  If someone is a little bothered by your acne, after initially agreeing to go on the date, he isn't worth getting upset over.   I mean.. If he is truly bothered my a little acne.. How in the world is he every going to come to grips with the fact people will get wrinkles, liver spots and other skin imperfections later?!!    To me..  I want to be someone that like me for me right as I am now, and will just be happy living with me in a mansion as she would be living in a shack.  It's the marriage vows that actually me something to the other person is somebody that I truly want.  To me.. that is true love. 

 

I hope you begin to heal from this ordeal.  Remember, that just when you think there is just no body else, that will fill that romantic void, left after a rejection..  Some body else comes into the picture.   At least, that is what I have learned/experienced.


Edited by BeautifulPerseverance619, 03 April 2014 - 10:29 AM.


#9 Mesha

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Posted 03 April 2014 - 10:44 AM

I've sent you a PM, but I've just read the update on the thread. That's exciting news !!! So glad he's proved all of us wrong...phew ! Lol. X

#10 WishClean

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Posted 03 April 2014 - 10:49 AM

^  I am sorry for your ordeal, WishClean!   I think rejection is something we all acne sufferers can relate to. *HUG*  It's a partly a product of the culture we live in.  Sad thing is people do treat people differently based on appearance, economic status, age, etc..   This is especially true in the dating relm .   IF I can encourage you with anything it is this..  The people that reject you, for those shallow imperfections, are the ones that will turn you into the direction of that special one or persons who will love you unconditionally (or close to it).   I use to get upset about being rejected, but I realized that I am wasting my time getting upset over someone that obviously wasn't the person for me.  I realized there is an estimated number of 3.5 billion women on this planet.  I ask myself, "Now, why exactly are you getting upset over one or couple other females, when there is an estimated 3.5 billion of them on this planet"?   I can tell you that I am glad that that I didn't end up with many of my love interests because I realized later than it probably wouldn't workout long term.   But did I think that way during the time where my mind was so rapped up in them?  NO!   Don't get me wrong.. THe rejection still hurts,whether they say it or show it, but I deal with a little bit better than I use to.   Plus, I just remind myself of all the women that did show interest in me, and that I do have some desirable qualities.

 

To me.. Your skin doesn't look bad.  Seriously, I am a little bewildered why that guy rejected you (if he truly did).  I would put you in the naturally attractive quadrant of women.   The only thing I could guess would be  that he felt there wasn't enough chemistry between you two.    Maybe, even he felt you were holding back or that he saw that insecurity you have with your complexion.   I have to ask..  Did he verbally say he didn't want you see you, anymore?  OR are you just guessing based on his messaging style/timing?  I am just curious.  Maybe, next time at the end or the beginning of the date, you can ask, " Does my skin bother you"?  "  I have to be honest that I feel a little bit insecure about my skin right now.''    Seriously, you may be surprised by what response you get. I think the person will appreciate the honesty and being upfront.    If he is bothered by it.. He isn't worth it.  If someone is a little bothered by your acne, after initially agreeing to go on the date, he isn't worth getting upset over.   I mean.. If he is truly bothered my a little acne.. How in the world is he every going to come to grips with the fact people will get wrinkles, liver spots and other skin imperfections later?!!    To me..  I want to be someone that like me for me right as I am now, and will just be happy living with me in a mansion as she would be living in a shack.  It's the marriage vows that actually me something to the other person is somebody that I truly want.  To me.. that is true love. 

 

I hope you begin to heal from this ordeal.  Remember, that just when you think there is just no body else, that will fill that romantic void, left after a rejection..  Some body else comes into the picture.   At least, that is what I have learned/experienced.

 

Thank you for the advice, you are so right and I hope you find the true love you deserve. Actually, today the guy texted me (after not having texted me much all week) and asked me out this weekend. I'm still puzzled as to why he suddenly stopped texting me that much compared to before we met, but I will go out with him and see what happens. Maybe he just wants company or something.

I will try not to let my insecurities get to me...you are right, maybe he picked up on my insecurity and backed off. That's the only thing I can think of, because other than that we had a great conversation throughout the date and he even paid for everything. 

I felt he was a bit out of my league physically...his body looked flawless, his face was really cute, I couldn't find a flaw unfortunately. And I guess people who look like that are usually very picky and superficial. Maybe I misjudged him, who knows.



I've sent you a PM, but I've just read the update on the thread. That's exciting news !!! So glad he's proved all of us wrong...phew ! Lol. X

thanks Mesha, just read your PM. I hope he will prove us wrong, too early to tell but at least he didn't disappear. I will write back to you when I get home from work, I want to support you as well because you are amazing. You are awesome !!!! rolleyes.gif I seriously was having a meltdown this week due to various disappointments and once again the people here have restored my faith in humanity. 



#11 Mesha

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Posted 03 April 2014 - 11:04 AM

Look forward to hearing from you soon. X

#12 Ashby101

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Posted 03 April 2014 - 11:48 AM

If he had rejected you, I wouldnt be because of your skin. I had a third date a month ago with a girl and on that date I had a breakout. So the whole day I was thinking about my skin and looking at it and the mirror on the date I couldnt get my mind of my skin and every time she stared at me I thought she was looking at my zit. The next day I received a text that she wasn't over her ex-boyfriend. I was 100% convinced it was because of my skin, but when I think about it was just because I was ''off''.

I've also got the same thing with scars. Its really frustrating that one some pictures my skin looks flawless and when I'm standing under the light it looks bad. Same thing with mirrors, when I pass a black window in the daylight it really looks horrible and when I'm using my own mirror it almost seems flawless.



#13 WishClean

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Posted 03 April 2014 - 12:55 PM

If he had rejected you, I wouldnt be because of your skin. I had a third date a month ago with a girl and on that date I had a breakout. So the whole day I was thinking about my skin and looking at it and the mirror on the date I couldnt get my mind of my skin and every time she stared at me I thought she was looking at my zit. The next day I received a text that she wasn't over her ex-boyfriend. I was 100% convinced it was because of my skin, but when I think about it was just because I was ''off''.

I've also got the same thing with scars. Its really frustrating that one some pictures my skin looks flawless and when I'm standing under the light it looks bad. Same thing with mirrors, when I pass a black window in the daylight it really looks horrible and when I'm using my own mirror it almost seems flawless.

 

You are right. I was just overreacting hopefully. By the way, my cousin used to have severe acne, and whenever she would go out with someone she met online they would reject her because of her acne (one of them told me he rejected her because of her acne, that's why I was worried it might happen to me). 

Sometimes, though, as you say, the chemistry is off. At least the girl didn't waste too much of your time and was honest with you about her ex-boyfriend. 

Scars are a curse and a blessing. I cringe when I catch a glimpse of my face in a car window, those are the worst to me. If someone rejects us because of the texture of our skin, then they are not worth our time anyway. 


Edited by WishClean, 03 April 2014 - 12:56 PM.


#14 thelongestroad

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Posted 03 April 2014 - 01:17 PM

From a guy's perspective, I can tell you that sometimes we take a while to communicate after a first date because we don't want to seem too interested and scare you off.  I tend to wait until I get some confirmation from her that she's still interested before contacting her on a daily basis.  Maybe that's silly, but it's the "safe" way of handling things.  And some guys, like myself, are really hesitant to open up anyway, especially if her post-date communication is "friend-zone" type stuff.  Let him know that you really like him and want to go on another date.  If he doesn't, you're no worse off than you are now.  Oh, and your skin looks about as normal as I've seen.  I can't imagine that it would be an issue.



#15 BeautifulPerseverance619

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Posted 03 April 2014 - 02:58 PM

^thelongestroad has it correct.  He probably didn't want to come off as 'clingy' and to interested in the early stages.  He probably wanted you to relax and replay the night and let you make a decision weighing everything out.  Plus, he wanted to give you the impression he has a life outside of you  LOL

 

Anyways, That is great news, I am so happy for you!  I made my post before I saw your update.  I thought it was a little weird for a guy to still text and make conversation with a woman once he 'rejected' her, which lead me to question whether he really even rejected you in the first place. 

 

Now, that you got a second date.. You can relax and focus on what you want to ask him.   I wouldn't be afraid to comment on his looks..  Us guys like compliments, especially when it comes from someone we're mutually interested in.  

 

It looks really promising for you, Wish Clean.  



#16 bubbles55

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Posted 03 April 2014 - 04:50 PM

You still have active non inflammatory acne on your face which is giving you a rough texture to your skin in certain areas. You don't have much scarring, I see some faint ice picks but to me it looks like your skin is still trying to heal. T

 

How would you feel about trying fraxel restore laser therapy? I've gotten three treatments and it reallly smoothed out my skin.



#17 Krissy990

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Posted 03 April 2014 - 06:16 PM

You are a beautiful girl! My heart broke for you reading the first post..Im in somewhat of a similar situation as you. I met someone online a few months ago prior to me having acne. So naturally he has seen pics of me w.o all this extra stuff going on and now he wants to meet. So know the fear of rejection all too well. But I am so glad he contacted you. I agree with what others have said be you and try to let your personality shine through because in the end that is what truly matters! From the pics it seems like your skin is doing really well and is in great shape! I wish you all the best of luck in finding love :)!



#18 TemperateCent

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Posted 03 April 2014 - 08:10 PM

Your acne is not bad at all.



#19 Lighthousesrule27

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Posted 03 April 2014 - 09:12 PM

Are you wearing makeup in this pic?

I ask because you have...like no redness at all. And honestly, your skin is actually very nice. Better than mine for sure! lol.gif

And might I add, you are a very pretty girl. I completely get where you are coming from though. I have so much insecurity about my skin it's ridiculous. Especially with up-close encounters like you mentioned. Five years with my boyfriend, I still don't like to be around him with my makeup off. And this is completely me, not him. One thing I notice though, is confidence is key. Everyone should be happy with themselves no matter what, but we All have insecurities. And I am not just trying to tell you what you want to hear when I say that you really should be confident with that skin. It honestly isn't bad at all.

I think it's possible you being insecure contributed to the awkwardness of the date. People pick up on that like crazy, just like they pick up on confidence. OR, you may have just been looking for signs of him disconnecting because you expected it to happen. OR OR, he was nervous, thinking you were looking flawless and he was thinking about an insecurity of his own.

Don't even sweat it. :) I saw he asked you back out boogie.gif congrats! But if he turns out to be a jerk, believe me, you're gorgeous and should have absolutely no problem finding a guy. You don't need it, but good luck. :)



#20 WishClean

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Posted 03 April 2014 - 09:48 PM

Thank you all for the kind words...I know you are giving me your honest opinion, and I appreciate it.

@bubbles55: At this point, I cannot afford any treatments and I am also nervous to try anything strong like lasers for fear of the acne returning. The little bumps are there sometimes and I had them before so I'm fine with those as long as they don't turn into big cysts. They are usually the last ones to subside once the major cystic acne goes away, so I'm being positive. Scrubs and peels help but I haven't done those recently. I was more worried about the rough texture and scarring.

To the men who answered, this gave me a new perspective....guys are just as insecure sometimes, I have to remember that. I usually assume that if a guy doesn't try hard, it means he doesn't like me and I back off, but maybe I will try a different approach this time.

@lighthousesrule27, I am only wearing a bit of cc cream in this pic, but my inflammation has diminished a lot  (I thank DIM for that). Usually the cc cream helps even out dark patches (I have those under my eyes - another insecurity) and fill in scars a little. You are right, confidence is key! I see so many girls who do not fit the conventional "attractive" mould and yet they are in happy relationships with great guys. All your speculations about this guy seem possible, I guess I'll wait until Saturday to find out what exactly he wants from me....I hope it doesn't end up in the friend zone like a previous date of mine did a while ago.

@krissy990: I know exactly what you mean. I actually posted photos of my face a while ago to ask about my scarring, and I couldn't even get the scarring or whiteheads to show up in the picture. This is literally the only photo I could get of my scars. So it really depends on lighting, that's why I was so worried about meeting this guy in daylight, and unfortunately the second date will be outside in the hot sun in the middle of the afternoon. I'm worried about sweating on top of everything else. 

Based on my experience, online dating is touch and go. You might stumble upon a great guy or you might end up going out with a total jerk. But if you have been having good conversations with this guy, chances are you will hit it off in person as well. I recommend meeting at a place you feel comfortable in the first time and see how it goes. You might realize YOU don't like him, not the other way round - there's always that possibility. But if he wants to meet you and you get a good vibe from him, then go for it. Life is short. Good luck!!!






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