"Never pop your zits." It's always in the back of our minds. "Just this one," we think.
"Okay, fine, this one too," we murmur. We don't intend for one little scab to turn into 10, 20, 40, 100, etc, but somehow, it does.
It's a relief, a temporary escape from your problems. You get a sort of sick satisfaction from finding anything in your pores, and when you pick, it puts you in a trance-like state, where you go to better places in your mind - where you calm down.
You do it all the time, without even thinking about it.
You break nails, you bleed, you cry... and repeat. Over and over until you find yourself being suddenly very exclusive with your clothing, only selecting things that cover the majority of your scars and scabs.
It hurts, it sucks, and you want to stop, but you can't. It's a coping mechanism, it's a problem. I don't think of it as self-harm, I'm not doing it to feel something, to be in control of my own pain - I'm doing it out of impulse, and I continue because I can't stop myself.
Non-pickers will say things like, "You have bacne," "Why can't you just stop?" and so on. They don't get it. They don't understand. I need help, not criticism. I don't want to feel self conscious anymore.
if you're a picker, I want you to know you're not alone.
*please no rude comments, this topic is exclusively for supporting the sufferers of this condition*