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The Emotional Death Of Me Through Acne

acne cystic painful hormonal emotional estrosense clindoxyl gel

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#1 Leen5555

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Posted 02 March 2014 - 05:47 PM

Hi!

This is for the fellow friends on this board, that have dealt with acne or are still dealing with it. It's my personal story!

 

Just like many of you, I deal with acne. Painful, terrible, cyctic and severe acne. When I was in 7th grade I started to get tiny little bumps over my forehead, but as a kid I really just ignored it, until they became more consistent, yet still mild. As a young teenager, obsessed with the views of others, I insisted on getting professional help. Doing so I was prescribed with Clindoxyl Gel. It really was amazing, until I stopped using it after two months. Really, it's because I starting using I new cleanser too and thought that was the holy grail to the improvements on my skin - It wasn't. In eight grade my acne spread. Real quick and real fast. I would get huge pimples and whiteheads everyday all over my face in clusters. They were always insanely red and irritated. Since I have brown skin they would scar as a dark DARK brown shade. ALL OVER. It felt like I should be on one of those proactiv commericals, except my acne was alot worse. My 5 year old cousin even commented on it once saying "you have so many pimples", my aunt would always ask "Do you eat too much chocolate, you should stop and then your skin will return to normal." No, aunty, no. I do not eat chocolate, nor is that the main culprit. 

 

Personally, I believe diet does effect acne, but it wasn't the main culprit. I drank 2 litres of water daily, toke vitamins, eat healthy. EVERYTHING. And then, high school came around. Honestly, I didn't know how I was going to do. I really only had two friends, one of which still talks to me. Since schools have bright LED lights, it was worse. The pimples became these nodules that were red ALL the time. It also began spreading to my chest and neck. It was terrible. I was known as the acne girl, literally. I had the worse acne in the whole school. To be honest, I never saw a person with it that bad. One day in around Novemeber, I was casually working on my art assignment in class, until a boy came up to me. He said, "Proactiv is on sale, maybe you should get it" and walked away. I was heart broken. I could literally feel the tears coming in and I was enragged, I wanted to rush into the bathroom and cry all day but I didn't. I didn't want them to know it got to me. But when I came home, it was all over. I completely broke down once I came home, crying and crying. My mom hugged me and told me it's okay. It was so terrible that she had to call my principal. The next day I was sent to the office to report the incident and the boy got in big trouble. It's worse enough to be the 'pimple girl' but also the 'snitch or tattle tale' it was alot worse. But I couldn't help it. It was like I lost myself somehow and sometime and I needed to open up, with my mom. Eventually I went back to the dermatologist about 3 weeks later. Again, prescribed Clindoxyl gel.To be honest, It worked well again. Extremely well. I was completely clear. In fact that was around the time I got contact lenses. I felt more beautiful than ever. For the scars I used Turmeric mask and I felt on top of the world. Everything was great, and I genuinely thought that I really was beautiful. Until it stopped. The gel for some reason stopped working, slowly but surely. I guess my skin got immune to it, but it stopped and now my acne is back worse than EVER. It was hard the first time around but now it's almost ten times worse. At the moment I have 31 pimple on my face. And not the ordinary kind. Nope. The largest one is 3 cm and is made of one large zit, with 3 tiny ones sitting up on top of it. I've got terrible scarring today too. In fact, just the other day  that same aunt asked me "your skin was just so perfect, what happened? I told you to stop eating chocolate". I was enraged. I went to my mom and complained for days. Her husband too doesn't want me to talk to his kids because he literally think germs will spread to his children. Lately I've decided to skip the topicals. The derm prescribed an antibiotic to take internally, but Im not willing to go threw the pain of becoming immune again, but this time ruining my organs too. So, I've opted for a natural supplement. Estrosense. It's a liver detoxer and I've only been using it for four weeks so as you may know I am purging right now. Almost 17 years of bad things in my body are being excreted through my skin, and it really is worse than ever. It may take up to 3 months for improvements but I need to give it a try. I don't want to deal with this.

 

I don't go out with friends, to the grocery store, and I don't want to go to school. In fact, when I look at my mom I notice that sometimes she just look sat the cysts on my face. The painfully throbbing cysts. Today, When sitting beside her I noticed it and felt like crying, which I did. But instead of the humility, I ran upstairs and cried and here I am. Acne has taken over my life. This is the second time I've cried over my face. I feel like I'm  being rejected by everyone around me. Sometimes it just gets so hard that I just don't go to school. 

 

Acne has taken such a toll on my life, and since it's hormonal I really don;t know what to do. Physically, emotionally or mentally. Do any of you fellow members have some good advice for a kid like me trying to treat acne's emotional affects.

 

btw. I've started eating super clean, excersing daily, cutting out milk too, but it hasn't been  working very well. 



#2 Binga

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Posted 03 March 2014 - 12:56 AM

Find a derm that will give you accutane. Everything else is a band aid.



#3 goodz19

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Posted 03 March 2014 - 06:57 AM

I think most of here have been where you are at some point.  And we are all here to help.  There are many, many treatment options out there,  The above poster may be right; maybe you should be evaluated by a different derm that can offer some other suggestions for you, up to and including accutane.  Dont give up hope.  I know the feeling you are going thru.  It sucks when its seems hopeless.  But I venture to say that many of us on this board had to go thru many trials and tribulations to find something that works.  Some of us still havent found.  But always keep trying.

 

Best wishes


Morning: Cetaphil cleanser, apply Sodium sulfacetamide

Evening: Cetaphil cleanser, apply differin, wait 1/2 hr, apply aczone as spot treatment.

 

Not overally exciting w/ the results

 

Also Has Seb Derm and been using Oxistat in beard area in the mornings.  Same, nothing special about the results


#4 CarpeMomentum

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Posted 03 March 2014 - 07:28 AM

Hi there! Just want to reach out and tell you, you are not alone. No matter how severe one's acne may be, it's a lonely and truly dibilitating disease if we let it. It's easy to say don't let it get to you, but even I let my mild acne get to me on a daily basis. I have a suggestion as you do mention understanding that acne can be driven by a hormonal imbalance. There may be a couple things you can look into. As the poster before mentioned Accutane, some girls go on Accutane in addition to something that will also attack the hormonal side- Birth Control such as Yaz, Yasmin, Diane, etc or Spironolactone which is also used to treat hormonal imbalance. I too started to have acne at 16 out of nowhere cysts and didn't really do anything until college, so you are years ahead of me. Do you have insurance? If so, you might be able to ask your doctor for a referral to an Endocronologist who can have blood tests done to understand your hormonal imbalances and then prescibe a treatment. If you have nodular cystic acne right now, many derms would start Accutane treatment as the risk for scarring is so high with that severity. If I've learned anything in my 32 years on this planet is you have to be your own advocate. You have to speak up when it comes to your health, your treatment. Doctors spend max 15 minutes with us. Go in prepared, go in with research, go in with questions written down, print out studies on Spironolactone and female acne. Do whatever it takes until you feel like someone is listening and hearing how hard this is on you. You deserve a shot at enjoying your life!! Sending hugs and positive thoughts your way.

Hi!
This is for the fellow friends on this board, that have dealt with acne or are still dealing with it. It's my personal story!
 
Just like many of you, I deal with acne. Painful, terrible, cyctic and severe acne. When I was in 7th grade I started to get tiny little bumps over my forehead, but as a kid I really just ignored it, until they became more consistent, yet still mild. As a young teenager, obsessed with the views of others, I insisted on getting professional help. Doing so I was prescribed with Clindoxyl Gel. It really was amazing, until I stopped using it after two months. Really, it's because I starting using I new cleanser too and thought that was the holy grail to the improvements on my skin - It wasn't. In eight grade my acne spread. Real quick and real fast. I would get huge pimples and whiteheads everyday all over my face in clusters. They were always insanely red and irritated. Since I have brown skin they would scar as a dark DARK brown shade. ALL OVER. It felt like I should be on one of those proactiv commericals, except my acne was alot worse. My 5 year old cousin even commented on it once saying "you have so many pimples", my aunt would always ask "Do you eat too much chocolate, you should stop and then your skin will return to normal." No, aunty, no. I do not eat chocolate, nor is that the main culprit. 
 
Personally, I believe diet does effect acne, but it wasn't the main culprit. I drank 2 litres of water daily, toke vitamins, eat healthy. EVERYTHING. And then, high school came around. Honestly, I didn't know how I was going to do. I really only had two friends, one of which still talks to me. Since schools have bright LED lights, it was worse. The pimples became these nodules that were red ALL the time. It also began spreading to my chest and neck. It was terrible. I was known as the acne girl, literally. I had the worse acne in the whole school. To be honest, I never saw a person with it that bad. One day in around Novemeber, I was casually working on my art assignment in class, until a boy came up to me. He said, "Proactiv is on sale, maybe you should get it" and walked away. I was heart broken. I could literally feel the tears coming in and I was enragged, I wanted to rush into the bathroom and cry all day but I didn't. I didn't want them to know it got to me. But when I came home, it was all over. I completely broke down once I came home, crying and crying. My mom hugged me and told me it's okay. It was so terrible that she had to call my principal. The next day I was sent to the office to report the incident and the boy got in big trouble. It's worse enough to be the 'pimple girl' but also the 'snitch or tattle tale' it was alot worse. But I couldn't help it. It was like I lost myself somehow and sometime and I needed to open up, with my mom. Eventually I went back to the dermatologist about 3 weeks later. Again, prescribed Clindoxyl gel.To be honest, It worked well again. Extremely well. I was completely clear. In fact that was around the time I got contact lenses. I felt more beautiful than ever. For the scars I used Turmeric mask and I felt on top of the world. Everything was great, and I genuinely thought that I really was beautiful. Until it stopped. The gel for some reason stopped working, slowly but surely. I guess my skin got immune to it, but it stopped and now my acne is back worse than EVER. It was hard the first time around but now it's almost ten times worse. At the moment I have 31 pimple on my face. And not the ordinary kind. Nope. The largest one is 3 cm and is made of one large zit, with 3 tiny ones sitting up on top of it. I've got terrible scarring today too. In fact, just the other day  that same aunt asked me "your skin was just so perfect, what happened? I told you to stop eating chocolate". I was enraged. I went to my mom and complained for days. Her husband too doesn't want me to talk to his kids because he literally think germs will spread to his children. Lately I've decided to skip the topicals. The derm prescribed an antibiotic to take internally, but Im not willing to go threw the pain of becoming immune again, but this time ruining my organs too. So, I've opted for a natural supplement. Estrosense. It's a liver detoxer and I've only been using it for four weeks so as you may know I am purging right now. Almost 17 years of bad things in my body are being excreted through my skin, and it really is worse than ever. It may take up to 3 months for improvements but I need to give it a try. I don't want to deal with this.
 
I don't go out with friends, to the grocery store, and I don't want to go to school. In fact, when I look at my mom I notice that sometimes she just look sat the cysts on my face. The painfully throbbing cysts. Today, When sitting beside her I noticed it and felt like crying, which I did. But instead of the humility, I ran upstairs and cried and here I am. Acne has taken over my life. This is the second time I've cried over my face. I feel like I'm  being rejected by everyone around me. Sometimes it just gets so hard that I just don't go to school. 
 
Acne has taken such a toll on my life, and since it's hormonal I really don;t know what to do. Physically, emotionally or mentally. Do any of you fellow members have some good advice for a kid like me trying to treat acne's emotional affects.
 
btw. I've started eating super clean, excersing daily, cutting out milk too, but it hasn't been  working very well.


Spiro 75mg

Ocella

 

Makeup Artists Choice

 

Mandelic Acid Cleanser

Mandelic Acid Toner

Cerave PM  

 

Sometimes I exfoliate.  I did sware by facial peels by MUAC earlier this year and would absolutely pick them up again.

 



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