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fatalbert911

Let's Be Real Guy's

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The single biggest reason why us guys absolutely hate acne, is because it makes it near fuking impossible to get any girls.

We have such a gigantic disadvantage to even clear skin bellow average guys. Because at least they don't have spots and holes all over there face. Fml

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i don't know how u people think of women, for me it's like talking to a martian. lol

there's no conflict between us for acne to be a weakness. but it could be a problem when there are guys around, then acne is the target and my vulnerability and i could get my ass woupped ..socially.

but as 1 on 1 with a girl.. makes no sense to me. girls can't even see how a guy naturally looks because of what his actions are, and mostly how he is socially integrated.. which again brings me to the battle with guys (for social hierarchy ahh)

guys are not dolls to watch for phisycal features.. (like we do with women)


today Putin is trying to steal our land! and no, i'm not referring to Crimea, but to a part of Moldova!


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VIrtually every man I've ever met has some minor acne or slight scarring. What makes you see yourself as so Alien? acne is quite common for guys.

Do you expect to have skin like a Korean actress? lol men aren't supposed to have flawless skin anyway, it's a feminine trait.

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If I'm being 100% honest about what bothers me the MOST about having acne/scarring as a young 20 something male...then yes, that's exactly it.

The one thing I want the most at this point in my life is female companionship. I want to date, I want to have fun while I'm young, I want to experience a healthy relationship with a girl and just enjoy life with her. As a male with acne/scarring, my ability to do that is pretty much crippled. If it's not my physical appearance that will turn girls off, it's my insecurity/emotional damage due to years of struggling with acne and trying to come to terms with it.

In this society guys are expected to chase girls, make the first moves, put in the work of romancing and showing interest...and let's face facts, if you're a guy who struggles with acne it's damn near impossible to do that. Take that NORMAL fear of rejection that most people have and amplify it by a million or so decimals and then you've got the fear of rejection level that people with acne have, because we're hyper aware of it because we spend so much time obsessing about our looks.

I'm at a point where I've pretty much given up on the dating scene for the time being. Admitting that makes me bitter, but it's the truth...right now I'm focusing on just bettering myself. Getting my skin to a level I'm comfortable with, working out to vent frustration and build a better body, doing well at my job and pursuing schooling, etc.

And @Bubble55, that's an interesting point...but I can't completely agree with it. Men want to look attractive just like women want to look attractive. Having acne/scarred skin does not make us feel rugged or manly, it makes us feel monstrous and out of place.

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Daily Regimen:
-Clean and Clear Foaming Cleanser
-Dan's 2.5% BP
-Jojoba oil as moisturizer

Nightly Regimen:
-Clean and Clear Foaming Cleanser
-Dan's 2.5% BP
-Cetaphil moisturizer + a few drops of Jojoba oil

My Regimen Log:








 


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Wow! From the time girls come to know themselves there's pressure about what they look like, girls always have to be pretty and women always have to look attractive. That's why so many women don't leave their houses without makeup on, even the ones with clear skin. Don't forgot how cruel high school girls with clear skin can be and how well they crush others self esteem. I actually think it's harder for a girl with acne to find a relationship.

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Well. This would be true if all guys were into girls, which isn't the case. BUT, if we rephrase it to 'we hate acne because it makes it harder to meet people' then yeah, that sentiment is very true.

Then again, for me there are other reasons I hate acne. My skin constantly feels irritated, I can physically feel new acne forming and I have to look in the mirror every morning greeted by it. Sometimes I avoid looking myself and others in the eye. It affects my confidence, with not just people I find attractive, but anyone I meet. When I have bad days, I avoid speaking to people face-to-face because you always know that they are staring at your acne, or at least we think they are.

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I think everyone, regardless of gender, wants to feel attractive, and having acne can make that really hard.

But it doesn't necessarily mean you're not attractive or can't meet people or find a relationship even though it can feel impossible.

I do know what you're all saying though.

But I feel like skin/acne can't be the only 'issue' and that as a female, everything about how I look is 'scrutinized' and that even if I had nice skin, there's a bunch of other things that aren't 'right' with how I look.

I feel like it's practically impossible for me to find a relationship. I mean, I'll be 21 in a few months. If it hasn't happened now, why would it ever? I know that's a very pessimistic view to have though. I go through phases were the relationship thing bothers me and others where I don't mind - I guess it's the 'valentine season' that's bring out the pessimistic view right nowrolleyes.gif

Also - I used to know a guy who was very attractive and he happened to have severe acne. On the other hand - he was a bit of a jerk so I wasn't interested. It had nothing to do with his looks or acne though. I think attitude and personality etc play a massive role in meeting people, forming relationships etc too - it's not all looks.

I should probably start remembering / paying attention to my own advice though. Even though acne (etc) makes you feel unattractive and feel like relationships aren't possible, it doesn't mean that's true. It doesn't mean someone can't or won't find you attractive. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder right?rolleyes.gif

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Started The Acne.org Regimen 2nd July 2013

 


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It makes it worse that everywhere you look--on the internet, magazines, and commercials--"everyone" has "perfect" skin.

The reality is that everyone was airbushed with makeup, photoshopped, and shot with perfect lighting. But we often forget that.

Everyone needs to drill into each others' heads that 99% of people don't really care if you have severe acne. They won't pay attention to it. If they do attention to it for a few seconds, then forget about it, or be sympathetic/empathetic that you have it. Looks really don't matter outside of a magazine.

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You need only one girl unless you want to be a playboy. If you have mild acne/scarring it should not affect much. If you have severe acne/scarring then you should be chasing derms instead of girls.

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Not having acne isn't enough. Desperation and low self-esteem is not attractive, with acne or not.

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Diagnosed with PCOS

Occasional acne + rolling scars

Meds:


- Yasmin birth control
- Spironolactone 37,5mg going 25mg
- Inositol powder 2 times/day before meal

Skincare:

- Hemp oil




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The reality is that no girls likes a man with acne, this is a fact

I never really had facial acne, but I had, and still have a little of back acne, it sucks but at least you can cover up, but I cannot even imagine what would like to have facial acne

your face is your identity, is your ego, is everything about you

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Skin is a factor but only a very small factor. Personality, being funny, and being confident are far more important for getting girls. Looks may initially draw some girls in but if that guy is boring and awkward she will lose interest extremely fast, even if he looks like a model. I personally have lost interest in good looking girls that I have dated because their personality was shit and they were annoying/needy. Their good looks and clear skin suddenly didn't matter at all when I actually got to see who they were.

I've heard it from female friends/sisters many times that the worst thing that a guy can be is socially awkward. Girls care about status and them bringing a guy who is going to act weird around her friends/family/public is FAR worse than bringing out a confident and charming guy who has some acne/scarring.

While you may always have acne, you don't always have to have low confidence.

p.s - Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, Chris Pine, Christiano Ronaldo all have very noticeable acne scarring on their faces and since they clearly don't care, no one else does. They all still managed to get famous despite acne/scarring over guys just as good looking with no acne scars. The reason? Personality and confidence.

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Skin is a factor but only a very small factor. Personality, being funny, and being confident are far more important for getting girls. Looks may initially draw some girls in but if that guy is boring and awkward she will lose interest extremely fast, even if he looks like a model. I personally have lost interest in good looking girls that I have dated because their personality was shit and they were annoying/needy. Their good looks and clear skin suddenly didn't matter at all when I actually got to see who they were.

I've heard it from female friends/sisters many times that the worst thing that a guy can be is socially awkward. Girls care about status and them bringing a guy who is going to act weird around her friends/family/public is FAR worse than bringing out a confident and charming guy who has some acne/scarring.

While you may always have acne, you don't always have to have low confidence.

p.s - Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, Chris Pine, Christiano Ronaldo all have very noticeable acne scarring on their faces and since they clearly don't care, no one else does. They all still managed to get famous despite acne/scarring over guys just as good looking with no acne scars. The reason? Personality and confidence.

false, looks are everything in this society

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The reality is that no girls likes a man with acne, this is a fact

I never really had facial acne, but I had, and still have a little of back acne, it sucks but at least you can cover up, but I cannot even imagine what would like to have facial acne

your face is your identity, is your ego, is everything about you

What is your age?

I had severe acne (and it is still somewhat active) and I used to be bullied and treated like air. I was relegated to the position of the loser of the school and I didn't have any friends. Skip 10 years and now I found out that people do want to talk to me, a bit. Mileages vary from person to person, but some want to talk, even girls. That's a huge improvement over the situation at high school.

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The reality is that no girls likes a man with acne, this is a fact

I never really had facial acne, but I had, and still have a little of back acne, it sucks but at least you can cover up, but I cannot even imagine what would like to have facial acne

your face is your identity, is your ego, is everything about you

What is your age?

I had severe acne (and it is still somewhat active) and I used to be bullied and treated like air. I was relegated to the position of the loser of the school and I didn't have any friends. Skip 10 years and now I found out that people do want to talk to me, a bit. Mileages vary from person to person, but some want to talk, even girls. That's a huge improvement over the situation at high school.

regardless of age, looks are still one of the most important aspects that drives this society, I know we all want to believe that personality is most important than looks, that would be true in an ideal society, but we are not that ideal society, we are imperfect human beings living in an imperfect world

You are correct, human beings are less superficial as they get older, probably because everyone's acne improves as you get older, but this thread is not about this, like I said, the main reason why facial acne affects so many people in many psychological ways, is because your face is your identity, is your ego. We don't live in a world, where women will prefer men with acne, over men who have clear skin, why?

Because having good skin, hair, facial features, height, etc, is a sign of having good genes, this is the reason, why men, drool over good looking women, with small waists, curves, good skin, hair, etc, it shows they have good genes, and it is in your DNA, to want to mate with the best genes you can find

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The reality is that no girls likes a man with acne, this is a fact

I never really had facial acne, but I had, and still have a little of back acne, it sucks but at least you can cover up, but I cannot even imagine what would like to have facial acne

your face is your identity, is your ego, is everything about you

What is your age?

I had severe acne (and it is still somewhat active) and I used to be bullied and treated like air. I was relegated to the position of the loser of the school and I didn't have any friends. Skip 10 years and now I found out that people do want to talk to me, a bit. Mileages vary from person to person, but some want to talk, even girls. That's a huge improvement over the situation at high school.

regardless of age, looks are still one of the most important aspects that drives this society, I know we all want to believe that personality is most important than looks, that would be true in an ideal society, but we are not that ideal society, we are imperfect human beings living in an imperfect world

You are correct, human beings are less superficial as they get older, probably because everyone's acne improves as you get older, but this thread is not about this, like I said, the main reason why facial acne affects so many people in many psychological ways, is because your face is your identity, is your ego. We don't live in a world, where women will prefer men with acne, over men who have clear skin, why?

Because having good skin, hair, facial features, height, etc, is a sign of having good genes, this is the reason, why men, drool over good looking women, with small waists, curves, good skin, hair, etc, it shows they have good genes, and it is in your DNA, to want to mate with the best genes you can find

That is not true. Your post can be falsified with one example and I know plenty.

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I wanted to jump in on this thread and ask your advice, thoughts. I started dating someone about 3 months ago and my skin was fairly clear say for one or two blemishes. They became persistent and I started treatment on Spiro and Doxy about 2 months ago which caused an annoying IB, my skin texture has changed and dealing with the purging stage. I feel really self concious about it, I see him about 1-2 times a week and so far the days that I have seen him either things are calmer or can be easily covered. I have avoided sleepovers because of this. What would you think about a girl you were dating who started to have some breakouts? Would you/have you noticed? Would it change your feelings/thoughts about her? It will probably be at least another month or so before I can tell if this is all working to completely clear me or get me on the road. Am I being too self concious and narcissistic about this....sigh


12/30/2013- Started Spironolactone 50mg then up to 75mg with Yas
2/2015 stopped BCP due to Aphasia/Migraines
2/2015 Spiro upped  to 100mg no BCP
1/2016 Spiro upped  to 125mg no BCP

2/2016- starting Berberine 500mg 3x day


Daily skin care routine from Makeup Artists Choice

MUAC Mandelic Acid Cleanser

MUAC Mandelic Acid Toner
BP Dan's
Cerave PM- mix in Dan's AHA at night

Exfoliation- MUAC Mandelic and Lactic Acid Peels

 


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I think that physical attraction is undeniably important - especially for relationships - but it isn't the only thing that matters and your skin isn't the be-all and end-all of your attractiveness. Do you take care of yourself? How is your hygiene? Are you a healthy weight? Are you physically fit? Do you dress/smell nicely? Good haircut? Do you have hobbies and interests? Are you fun to talk to? Do you like yourself? Those are all things that we (usually) have some control over. To me, showing that you care about how you present yourself and that you take pride in yourself is important and if people do, then they'll usually be very attractive.

I wanted to jump in on this thread and ask your advice, thoughts. I started dating someone about 3 months ago and my skin was fairly clear say for one or two blemishes. They became persistent and I started treatment on Spiro and Doxy about 2 months ago which caused an annoying IB, my skin texture has changed and dealing with the purging stage. I feel really self concious about it, I see him about 1-2 times a week and so far the days that I have seen him either things are calmer or can be easily covered. I have avoided sleepovers because of this. What would you think about a girl you were dating who started to have some breakouts? Would you/have you noticed? Would it change your feelings/thoughts about her? It will probably be at least another month or so before I can tell if this is all working to completely clear me or get me on the road. Am I being too self concious and narcissistic about this....sigh

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Lol..I feel like confidence plays the biggest role when it comes to females. Looks doesn't really matter as all as you feel confident about yourself. Talk with a clear firm voice and look presentable(smell good and look good i guess). I've seen plenty ugly guys with pretty girls and i would be shocked, but i am assuming its all about having game and confidence***

So if you still feel low about yourself and you have no confidence just remember girls are really people too, they poop like us men (YES!! girls do poop and they have diarrhea too).

Confidence is KEY!!!

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I wanted to jump in on this thread and ask your advice, thoughts. I started dating someone about 3 months ago and my skin was fairly clear say for one or two blemishes. They became persistent and I started treatment on Spiro and Doxy about 2 months ago which caused an annoying IB, my skin texture has changed and dealing with the purging stage. I feel really self concious about it, I see him about 1-2 times a week and so far the days that I have seen him either things are calmer or can be easily covered. I have avoided sleepovers because of this. What would you think about a girl you were dating who started to have some breakouts? Would you/have you noticed? Would it change your feelings/thoughts about her? It will probably be at least another month or so before I can tell if this is all working to completely clear me or get me on the road. Am I being too self concious and narcissistic about this....sigh

I have to warn you: I have zero relationship experience. I am really bad with girls. Girls used to treat me like I am air. I have developed social disorders due to bullying and violence. I am one of those socially withdrawn, nerdy computerguys. Please keep this all in mind if you read my social advice.

I am going to be very honest to you. I would notice it, but that would *not* change my feelings and thoughts about her. I would probably think "Oh, she has skin issues, but she is a really nice and pretty girl!". For me, it is easy to think like that. I fall immediately in love with a girl if they just talk to me and treat me like a normal person. I can't speak for your boyfriend though, as he is not me. However, I do think that he is actually a little boy if he thinks "Oh, she has a tiny problem with her skin. She is ugly and dirty so I am going to dump her!". If he thinks like that, then he isn't worth your time.

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Hate to say it, but my experiences don't chime with a lot of the 'It's all about confidence' advice here.

I speak in a clear, articulate way; smile a lot; look everyone (male and female) in the eye; have some close friends; have a very good job; work hard, achieve a lot; do brave things that a lot of clear-skinned people would struggle with, like moving to a new city, making new friends, travelling, giving public talks, teaching classes, etc.

I'm not an extrovert, or a cocky, arrogant 'guy' but I'm not a pathetic loser who can't speak to girls.

And I still don't have a girlfriend or receive any interest or compliments from women. Ever. If it's not about my skin problems, what is it about?

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Hate to say it, but my experiences don't chime with a lot of the 'It's all about confidence' advice here.

I speak in a clear, articulate way; smile a lot; look everyone (male and female) in the eye; have some close friends; have a very good job; work hard, achieve a lot; do brave things that a lot of clear-skinned people would struggle with, like moving to a new city, making new friends, travelling, giving public talks, teaching classes, etc.

I'm not an extrovert, or a cocky, arrogant 'guy' but I'm not a pathetic loser who can't speak to girls.

And I still don't have a girlfriend or receive any interest or compliments from women. Ever. If it's not about my skin problems, what is it about?

I got your problem. You are not as social as you think you are.

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Thank you SO much for this perspective. I take care of myself and do work to put my best foot forward whether I am breaking out or not, and as you point out that has really seemed to help my confidence overall. Even my crappiest days, I make sure to dress up a bit, throw some earrings on, cover my spots and put a smile on. No one notices our flaws as much as we do. I think it's hard when you first start a relationship you want things to be "perfect" when in actuallity nothing in life is perfect. The biggest struggle I have had is that he holds me so highly, he always says your perfect, and I feel like I let him down. I tell him I am perfectly imperfect lol Ugghhh acne is such a b!otch isn't it. I appreciate your well wishes and do believe this treatment is working well, just have to have more patience and work on my relationship, confidence and self esteem alongside this journey.

I think that physical attraction is undeniably important - especially for relationships - but it isn't the only thing that matters and your skin isn't the be-all and end-all of your attractiveness. Do you take care of yourself? How is your hygiene? Are you a healthy weight? Are you physically fit? Do you dress/smell nicely? Good haircut? Do you have hobbies and interests? Are you fun to talk to? Do you like yourself? Those are all things that we (usually) have some control over. To me, showing that you care about how you present yourself and that you take pride in yourself is important and if people do, then they'll usually be very attractive.

I wanted to jump in on this thread and ask your advice, thoughts. I started dating someone about 3 months ago and my skin was fairly clear say for one or two blemishes. They became persistent and I started treatment on Spiro and Doxy about 2 months ago which caused an annoying IB, my skin texture has changed and dealing with the purging stage. I feel really self concious about it, I see him about 1-2 times a week and so far the days that I have seen him either things are calmer or can be easily covered. I have avoided sleepovers because of this. What would you think about a girl you were dating who started to have some breakouts? Would you/have you noticed? Would it change your feelings/thoughts about her? It will probably be at least another month or so before I can tell if this is all working to completely clear me or get me on the road. Am I being too self concious and narcissistic about this....sigh

I don't know if it helps, but as a female, if I was dating a guy and he started breaking out, I would probably notice. But I really wouldn't care. I think it's expected most people have some level of skin problems. I hope the Spio and Doxy works out for you!

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12/30/2013- Started Spironolactone 50mg then up to 75mg with Yas
2/2015 stopped BCP due to Aphasia/Migraines
2/2015 Spiro upped  to 100mg no BCP
1/2016 Spiro upped  to 125mg no BCP

2/2016- starting Berberine 500mg 3x day


Daily skin care routine from Makeup Artists Choice

MUAC Mandelic Acid Cleanser

MUAC Mandelic Acid Toner
BP Dan's
Cerave PM- mix in Dan's AHA at night

Exfoliation- MUAC Mandelic and Lactic Acid Peels

 


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