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#1 fatalbert911

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Posted 11 February 2014 - 01:41 PM

The single biggest reason why us guys absolutely hate acne, is because it makes it near fuking impossible to get any girls.

We have such a gigantic disadvantage to even clear skin bellow average guys. Because at least they don't have spots and holes all over there face. Fml

#2 DanTheNewWorld

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Posted 11 February 2014 - 01:57 PM

i don't know how u people think of women, for me it's like talking to a martian. lol

there's no conflict between us for acne to be a weakness. but it could be a problem when there are guys around, then acne is the target and my vulnerability and i could get my ass woupped ..socially.

but as 1 on 1 with a girl.. makes no sense to me. girls can't even see how a guy naturally looks because of what his actions are, and mostly how he is socially integrated.. which again brings me to the battle with guys (for social hierarchy ahh)

 

guys are not dolls to watch for phisycal features.. (like we do with women)


Edited by DanTheNewWorld, 11 February 2014 - 02:00 PM.

today Putin is trying to steal our land! and no, i'm not referring to Crimea, but to a part of Moldova!


#3 bubbles55

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Posted 11 February 2014 - 02:08 PM

VIrtually every man I've ever met has some minor acne or slight scarring. What makes you see yourself as so Alien? acne is quite common for guys.

 

Do you expect to have skin like a Korean actress? lol men aren't supposed to have flawless skin anyway, it's a feminine trait.



#4 Randall Flagg

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Posted 11 February 2014 - 04:08 PM

If I'm being 100% honest about what bothers me the MOST about having acne/scarring as a young 20 something male...then yes, that's exactly it.

 

The one thing I want the most at this point in my life is female companionship. I want to date, I want to have fun while I'm young, I want to experience a healthy relationship with a girl and just enjoy life with her. As a male with acne/scarring, my ability to do that is pretty much crippled. If it's not my physical appearance that will turn girls off, it's my insecurity/emotional damage due to years of struggling with acne and trying to come to terms with it.

 

In this society guys are expected to chase girls, make the first moves, put in the work of romancing and showing interest...and let's face facts, if you're a guy who struggles with acne it's damn near impossible to do that. Take that NORMAL fear of rejection that most people have and amplify it by a million or so decimals and then you've got the fear of rejection level that people with acne have, because we're hyper aware of it because we spend so much time obsessing about our looks.

 

I'm at a point where I've pretty much given up on the dating scene for the time being. Admitting that makes me bitter, but it's the truth...right now I'm focusing on just bettering myself. Getting my skin to a level I'm comfortable with, working out to vent frustration and build a better body, doing well at my job and pursuing schooling, etc.

 

And @Bubble55, that's an interesting point...but I can't completely agree with it. Men want to look attractive just like women want to look attractive. Having acne/scarred skin does not make us feel rugged or manly, it makes us feel monstrous and out of place.


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#5 tanna23

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Posted 11 February 2014 - 04:47 PM

Wow! From the time girls come to know themselves there's pressure about what they look like, girls always have to be pretty and women always have to look attractive. That's why so many women don't leave their houses without makeup on, even the ones with clear skin. Don't forgot how cruel high school girls with clear skin can be and how well they crush others self esteem. I actually think it's harder for a girl with acne to find a relationship.

#6 LewisS

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Posted 11 February 2014 - 05:07 PM

Well. This would be true if all guys were into girls, which isn't the case. BUT, if we rephrase it to 'we hate acne because it makes it harder to meet people' then yeah, that sentiment is very true. 

 

Then again, for me there are other reasons I hate acne. My skin constantly feels irritated, I can physically feel new acne forming and I have to look in the mirror every morning greeted by it. Sometimes I avoid looking myself and others in the eye. It affects my confidence, with not just people I find attractive, but anyone I meet. When I have bad days, I avoid speaking to people face-to-face because you always know that they are staring at your acne, or at least we think they are.



#7 Lilly75

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Posted 12 February 2014 - 01:45 AM

I think everyone, regardless of gender,  wants to feel attractive, and having acne can make that really hard. 

But it doesn't necessarily mean you're not attractive or can't meet people or find a relationship even though it can feel impossible.

 

I do know what you're all saying though.

But I feel like skin/acne can't be the only 'issue' and that as a female, everything about how I look is 'scrutinized' and that even if I had nice skin, there's a bunch of other things that aren't 'right' with how I look. 

I feel like it's practically impossible for me to find a relationship. I mean, I'll be 21 in a few months. If it hasn't happened now, why would it ever? I know that's a very pessimistic view to have though. I go through phases were the relationship thing bothers me and others where I don't mind - I guess it's the 'valentine season' that's bring out the pessimistic view right nowrolleyes.gif

 

 

Also - I used to know a guy who was very attractive and he happened to have severe acne. On the other hand - he was a bit of a jerk so I wasn't interested. It had nothing to do with his looks or acne though. I think attitude and personality etc play a massive role in meeting people, forming relationships etc too - it's not all looks.

 

I should probably start remembering / paying attention to my own advice though. Even though acne (etc) makes you feel unattractive and feel like relationships aren't possible, it doesn't mean that's true. It doesn't mean someone can't or won't find you attractive. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder right?rolleyes.gif


Started The Acne.org Regimen 2nd July 2013

 


#8 Michelle Reece

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Posted 12 February 2014 - 01:59 AM

It makes it worse that everywhere you look--on the internet, magazines, and commercials--"everyone" has "perfect" skin.

 

The reality is that everyone was airbushed with makeup, photoshopped, and shot with perfect lighting. But we often forget that.

 

Everyone needs to drill into each others' heads that 99% of people don't really care if you have severe acne. They won't pay attention to it. If they do attention to it for a few seconds, then forget about it, or be sympathetic/empathetic that you have it. Looks really don't matter outside of a magazine.



#9 AlexanderJ86

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Posted 12 February 2014 - 06:24 AM

You want to get girls? Maybe you should start building an interesting life and a social circle first.



#10 Binga

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Posted 16 February 2014 - 12:04 AM

You need only one girl unless you want to be a playboy. If you have mild acne/scarring it should not affect much. If you have severe acne/scarring then you should be chasing derms instead of girls.


Edited by Binga, 16 February 2014 - 12:06 AM.


#11 Pianina

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Posted 17 February 2014 - 02:53 PM

Not having acne isn't enough. Desperation and low self-esteem is not attractive, with acne or not. 


Diagnosed with PCOS/Insulin resistance

Currently clear from acne.

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#12 AlexanderJ86

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Posted 18 February 2014 - 05:27 AM

I think that being a nice, social person is far more important than a skin disorder.



#13 orlando158

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Posted 18 February 2014 - 11:50 AM

The reality is that no girls likes a man with acne, this is a fact

 

I never really had facial acne, but I had, and still have a little of back acne, it sucks but at least you can cover up, but I cannot even imagine what would like to have facial acne

 

your face is your identity, is your ego, is everything about you



#14 spartan32

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Posted 18 February 2014 - 12:52 PM

Skin is a factor but only a very small factor.  Personality, being funny, and being confident are far more important for getting girls.  Looks may initially draw some girls in but if that guy is boring and awkward she will lose interest extremely fast, even if he looks like a model.  I personally have lost interest in good looking girls that I have dated because their personality was shit and they were annoying/needy.  Their good looks and clear skin suddenly didn't matter at all when I actually got to see who they were.

 

 I've heard it from female friends/sisters many times that the worst thing that a guy can be is socially awkward.  Girls care about status and them bringing a guy who is going to act weird around her friends/family/public is FAR worse than bringing out a confident and charming guy who has some acne/scarring.

 

While you may always have acne, you don't always have to have low confidence.  

 

p.s - Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, Chris Pine, Christiano Ronaldo all have very noticeable acne scarring on their faces and since they clearly don't care, no one else does.  They all still managed to get famous despite acne/scarring over guys just as good looking with no acne scars.  The reason?  Personality and confidence.



#15 orlando158

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Posted 18 February 2014 - 01:45 PM

Skin is a factor but only a very small factor.  Personality, being funny, and being confident are far more important for getting girls.  Looks may initially draw some girls in but if that guy is boring and awkward she will lose interest extremely fast, even if he looks like a model.  I personally have lost interest in good looking girls that I have dated because their personality was shit and they were annoying/needy.  Their good looks and clear skin suddenly didn't matter at all when I actually got to see who they were.

 

 I've heard it from female friends/sisters many times that the worst thing that a guy can be is socially awkward.  Girls care about status and them bringing a guy who is going to act weird around her friends/family/public is FAR worse than bringing out a confident and charming guy who has some acne/scarring.

 

While you may always have acne, you don't always have to have low confidence.  

 

p.s - Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, Chris Pine, Christiano Ronaldo all have very noticeable acne scarring on their faces and since they clearly don't care, no one else does.  They all still managed to get famous despite acne/scarring over guys just as good looking with no acne scars.  The reason?  Personality and confidence.

 

 

false, looks are everything in this society

 



#16 AlexanderJ86

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Posted 18 February 2014 - 01:56 PM

The reality is that no girls likes a man with acne, this is a fact

 

I never really had facial acne, but I had, and still have a little of back acne, it sucks but at least you can cover up, but I cannot even imagine what would like to have facial acne

 

your face is your identity, is your ego, is everything about you

What is your age?

 

I had severe acne (and it is still somewhat active) and I used to be bullied and treated like air. I was relegated to the position of the loser of the school and I didn't have any friends. Skip 10 years and now I found out that people do want to talk to me, a bit. Mileages vary from person to person, but some want to talk, even girls. That's a huge improvement over the situation at high school.



#17 orlando158

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Posted 18 February 2014 - 03:02 PM

The reality is that no girls likes a man with acne, this is a fact

 

I never really had facial acne, but I had, and still have a little of back acne, it sucks but at least you can cover up, but I cannot even imagine what would like to have facial acne

 

your face is your identity, is your ego, is everything about you

What is your age?

 

I had severe acne (and it is still somewhat active) and I used to be bullied and treated like air. I was relegated to the position of the loser of the school and I didn't have any friends. Skip 10 years and now I found out that people do want to talk to me, a bit. Mileages vary from person to person, but some want to talk, even girls. That's a huge improvement over the situation at high school.

 

regardless of age, looks are still one of the most important aspects that drives this society, I know we all want to believe that personality is most important than looks, that would be true in an ideal society, but we are not that ideal society, we are imperfect human beings living in an imperfect world

 

You are correct, human beings are less superficial as they get older, probably because everyone's acne improves as you get older, but this thread is not about this, like I said, the main reason why facial acne affects so many people in many psychological ways, is because your face is your identity, is your ego. We don't live in a world, where women will prefer men with acne, over men who have clear skin, why?

 

Because having good skin, hair, facial features, height, etc, is a sign of having good genes, this is the reason, why men, drool over good looking women, with small waists, curves, good skin, hair, etc, it shows they have good genes, and it is in your DNA, to want to mate with the best genes you can find


Edited by orlando158, 18 February 2014 - 03:04 PM.


#18 AlexanderJ86

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Posted 18 February 2014 - 05:30 PM

 

The reality is that no girls likes a man with acne, this is a fact

 

I never really had facial acne, but I had, and still have a little of back acne, it sucks but at least you can cover up, but I cannot even imagine what would like to have facial acne

 

your face is your identity, is your ego, is everything about you

What is your age?

 

I had severe acne (and it is still somewhat active) and I used to be bullied and treated like air. I was relegated to the position of the loser of the school and I didn't have any friends. Skip 10 years and now I found out that people do want to talk to me, a bit. Mileages vary from person to person, but some want to talk, even girls. That's a huge improvement over the situation at high school.

 

regardless of age, looks are still one of the most important aspects that drives this society, I know we all want to believe that personality is most important than looks, that would be true in an ideal society, but we are not that ideal society, we are imperfect human beings living in an imperfect world

 

You are correct, human beings are less superficial as they get older, probably because everyone's acne improves as you get older, but this thread is not about this, like I said, the main reason why facial acne affects so many people in many psychological ways, is because your face is your identity, is your ego. We don't live in a world, where women will prefer men with acne, over men who have clear skin, why?

 

Because having good skin, hair, facial features, height, etc, is a sign of having good genes, this is the reason, why men, drool over good looking women, with small waists, curves, good skin, hair, etc, it shows they have good genes, and it is in your DNA, to want to mate with the best genes you can find

That is not true. Your post can be falsified with one example and I know plenty.



#19 CarpeMomentum

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Posted 20 February 2014 - 02:44 PM

I wanted to jump in on this thread and ask your advice, thoughts.  I started dating someone about 3 months ago and my skin was fairly clear say for one or two blemishes.  They became persistent and I started treatment on Spiro and Doxy about 2 months ago which caused an annoying IB, my skin texture has changed and dealing with the purging stage.  I feel really self concious about it, I see him about 1-2 times a week and so far the days that I have seen him either things are calmer or can be easily covered.  I have avoided sleepovers because of this.  What would you think about a girl you were dating who started to have some breakouts?  Would you/have you noticed?  Would it change your feelings/thoughts about her?  It will probably be at least another month or so before I can tell if this is all working to completely clear me or get me on the road.  Am I being too self concious and narcissistic about this....sigh 


Edited by CarpeMomentum, 20 February 2014 - 02:44 PM.

Spiro 50 mg

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#20 AMcguill

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Posted 20 February 2014 - 08:46 PM

I think that physical attraction is undeniably important - especially for relationships - but it isn't the only thing that matters and your skin isn't the be-all and end-all of your attractiveness.  Do you take care of yourself?  How is your hygiene?  Are you a healthy weight?  Are you physically fit?  Do you dress/smell nicely?  Good haircut?  Do you have hobbies and interests?  Are you fun to talk to?  Do you like yourself?  Those are all things that we (usually) have some control over.  To me, showing that you care about how you present yourself and that you take pride in yourself is important and if people do, then they'll usually be very attractive.

 

I wanted to jump in on this thread and ask your advice, thoughts.  I started dating someone about 3 months ago and my skin was fairly clear say for one or two blemishes.  They became persistent and I started treatment on Spiro and Doxy about 2 months ago which caused an annoying IB, my skin texture has changed and dealing with the purging stage.  I feel really self concious about it, I see him about 1-2 times a week and so far the days that I have seen him either things are calmer or can be easily covered.  I have avoided sleepovers because of this.  What would you think about a girl you were dating who started to have some breakouts?  Would you/have you noticed?  Would it change your feelings/thoughts about her?  It will probably be at least another month or so before I can tell if this is all working to completely clear me or get me on the road.  Am I being too self concious and narcissistic about this....sigh 

I don't know if it helps, but as a female, if I was dating a guy and he started breaking out, I would probably notice.  But I really wouldn't care.  I think it's expected most people have some level of skin problems.  I hope the Spio and Doxy works out for you! smile.png


Edited by AMcguill, 20 February 2014 - 08:48 PM.





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