Soooo what I would like to report is that I am working on turning around my bad attitude about this whole journey. I've been feeling down and letting myself have a pity party. You know what, that is not going to help anything I realized. I am putting my treatment into God's very capable hands and am going to work on my emotional/psychological well being. I've allowed myself to slip into depression and suffer severe anxiety from the pressure of this whole thing. Putting a time table on when I am going to be clear, perfect, blemish free... well that's too much damn pressure. I may not wake up tomorrow with all my little clogs gone, but I can do my treatment today, put my big girl panties on and try my best to face the world with a smile.
I went to Whole Foods this morning on my way into work. I noticed myself looking at everyone in the store, bare faced. There were several women that were beautiful and had acne, a good deal of it. One was with her child and wasn't letting it bother her one bit. Another woman was just going about her business. I noticed other older women with a few blemishes. And then I thought to myself, seriously.... I put WAY to much pressure on myself to be perfect. I think the biggest challenge is I don't and really won't wear a full face of makeup. I gave it up YEARS ago after covering and hiding behind it in my teens when I had cystic acne. Now I am all bent out of shape about some PIH, closed comedones, some clogged pores and some tiny blemishes. Man I feel like a jerk. So I am doing my best to turn the negative thoughts that happen to creep in, right around to positives. Not worrying about tomorrow or if I will have a new blemish or a new breakout. Because I am doing everything in my darned power to keep them from happening internally/externally.
However I will provide an account of the last week:
Last Thursday- 2 swollen spots appeared on chin/jaw gone the next day
Saturday- 1 spot on my neck appeared and just looked red , never turned into anything
Monday- 1 previous small swollen spot from 2 weeks ago that had appeared and hung out for a week, then flattened, came back to life and is flat and red now. PIH may just be a biotch.
Today- who the heck knows ;-)
The rest are closed comedones/clogs that I am treating with AHA/BHA and gentle kind loving coaxing to hit the road. No one can really see them but me, but I hate them just as much. Going to try the PC AHA 10% tonight before beddy by and see what I wake up with. Hopefully some fading, softer complexion as others taught. The PC 2% gel has been working really well on overall tone, texture of my skin (minus clogs that are taking their sweet a@@ time).
Off to go about kicking Negative Nelly in the pants!
Edited by CarpeMomentum, 05 March 2014 - 02:12 PM.