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Holy Isotretinoin Batman, It's Another Accutane Log!

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#41 megtree

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Posted 17 January 2014 - 04:18 PM

Day 23 - wanted to update my log every day I got new actives so I can eventually chart them and keep track of my progress more accurately: 

More painful cysts! On the left, I have 1 nodule (popped yesteday, healing today) 1 un-inflammed cyst (been taking a breather at the pain party on that side of my face for about 1 1/2 months now) and 1 new one that is SUPER ouchy. On the right side, I have 5, count em' FIVE cysts (no head in sight for these bad boys). 3 popped up yesterday to say hello, another popped up today, and 1 is in its healing stage. I probably have another 4 or 5 forming a line in the back waiting to get in...can't wait for that.

 

This sounds awful, but I am looking back on my 1st day picture and thinking..."Hmm...that wasn't so bad...". Engaging Super Sad Face: :((((((((((

 

Le sigh.  I suppose date-night with the boyfriend is going to have to be post-poned. STUPID STUPID ACNE GAAAAAAH!


Edited by megtree, 17 January 2014 - 04:26 PM.

My Accutane log (with pictures):

 

 http://www.acne.org/...r-accutane-log/

 

26 y/o female- approx. 54kg
Absorica -40 mg, 1 daily, December 26, 2013 - February, 25, 2014

Absorica - 60 mg, 1 daily. February 26, 2014 -
Probiotic - 1 daily
Fish oil supplement w/ vit D - 1 daily

Morning:

Cetaphil cleanser

Food Grade Rose water - Toner

La Roche Posay Mineral Water Spray
Vichy 50+ Capital Soleil Cream for Sensitive Skin


Night:
Cetaphil Cleanser

Food grade Rose Water - Toner

La Roche Posay Mineral Water Spray
Aveeno Positively Radiant intensive night cream

Cerave Facial Moisturizing Lotion- PM

Cerave Moisturizing cream
Avene Cicalfate (as needed)


#42 PersnickityChick

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Posted 17 January 2014 - 05:10 PM

Awww, Meg, I'm so sorry it is such rough going for you. Hopefully things will start to clear up for you, and you'll start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel very soon. Did your derm say anything about when you should start to see improvement? 

 

I'd love to have a date-night in tonight. Even a chick flick would be okay, along with a simple dinner, and cuddles. <sigh> My sweetie is away for the time being, so that will have to wait. 



#43 megtree

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Posted 18 January 2014 - 02:49 AM

Hi Jess-
Yeah, it's tough- but I have hope things will get better soon. The doctor said I would start clearing up in month 3 and I should be completely clear by month four. He'll keep me on for two months after that, bing Bada boom the pain party gets raided and everyone finally leaves.
As for date night, it happened...ish. We had Indian food and enjoyed cuddles between us, so that took my mind off of my face. I hope your sweetie comes home safely and very soon!

My Accutane log (with pictures):

 

 http://www.acne.org/...r-accutane-log/

 

26 y/o female- approx. 54kg
Absorica -40 mg, 1 daily, December 26, 2013 - February, 25, 2014

Absorica - 60 mg, 1 daily. February 26, 2014 -
Probiotic - 1 daily
Fish oil supplement w/ vit D - 1 daily

Morning:

Cetaphil cleanser

Food Grade Rose water - Toner

La Roche Posay Mineral Water Spray
Vichy 50+ Capital Soleil Cream for Sensitive Skin


Night:
Cetaphil Cleanser

Food grade Rose Water - Toner

La Roche Posay Mineral Water Spray
Aveeno Positively Radiant intensive night cream

Cerave Facial Moisturizing Lotion- PM

Cerave Moisturizing cream
Avene Cicalfate (as needed)


#44 Kim28

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Posted 18 January 2014 - 09:11 AM

Hello!

I feel your pain. I am also developing a cyst on my cheek that I knew was coming for a while. It is month three for me, though, and I would say that things are indeed starting to clear up quite a bit. I still have a couple little things on the right side of my chin, but most of my 'breakout' areas are doing quite well.

BUT early on in my course I noticed a little plug RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of my cheek, and have been fearing its inflammation every day since. It just waited and waited until now when I FINALLY feel like I am making some progress to start hurting.

Alas. Maybe this will be the last great zit, as I don't see much else under the surface anymore.

Month 4 - I will get to you and you will be awesome!

Can't wait until we are all there.



#45 LoveLouisV

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Posted 18 January 2014 - 08:29 PM

I hear ya on the IB.  I was right there about a month ago!  I'll keep my fingers crossed that it'll last the requisite week or so, everything will heal, and then you'll start clearing up to pre-acne levels of clarity.  :) 


xoxo

LoveLouisV

 

Check out my Accutane Log!!

 

F - 31, 105lbs

Start date: December 5, 2013

Month 1: 40mg Claravis

Month 2: 60mg Claravis

Month 3: 60mg Claravis

Month 4: 60mg Claravis


#46 megtree

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Posted 19 January 2014 - 07:23 PM

I hear ya on the IB.  I was right there about a month ago!  I'll keep my fingers crossed that it'll last the requisite week or so, everything will heal, and then you'll start clearing up to pre-acne levels of clarity.  :) 

Thank you LLV! I don't think I can handle more than a week or so of this, it really hurts! How long did yours last? I'm more scared of scarring than anything else, to be honest, these little monsters are really inflamed and painful!

Log-
Day- 25?-
A couple more little pustules have popped up (well, little in comparison to the giants that I've been dealing with the last couple of days) and even these hurt! It is like each cyst/ nodule that usually pop up throughout the month are becoming inflamed at the same time. It hurts so much to wash my face I can hardly stand to do it right now. At the moment I have 5 active and very painful cysts on my right cheek. 2 have a head on them, 2 look like they are going to get a head, and one got its head chopped off in my sleep. On the same side I have 4 inactive cysts that I'm expecting will become inflamed soon. On the left, I have 1 active cyst, 1 healing, and 1 inactive that will probably become active soon. I am STRONGLY fighting the urge to pick the active ones that have developed big white heads, but it may be a losing battle because the pressure hurts so incredibly much. I have my derm appointment tomorrow morning- I'm anxious to see what he says.

My Accutane log (with pictures):

 

 http://www.acne.org/...r-accutane-log/

 

26 y/o female- approx. 54kg
Absorica -40 mg, 1 daily, December 26, 2013 - February, 25, 2014

Absorica - 60 mg, 1 daily. February 26, 2014 -
Probiotic - 1 daily
Fish oil supplement w/ vit D - 1 daily

Morning:

Cetaphil cleanser

Food Grade Rose water - Toner

La Roche Posay Mineral Water Spray
Vichy 50+ Capital Soleil Cream for Sensitive Skin


Night:
Cetaphil Cleanser

Food grade Rose Water - Toner

La Roche Posay Mineral Water Spray
Aveeno Positively Radiant intensive night cream

Cerave Facial Moisturizing Lotion- PM

Cerave Moisturizing cream
Avene Cicalfate (as needed)


#47 PersnickityChick

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Posted 20 January 2014 - 06:27 AM

Good Luck with your appointment Meg! I hope he can recommend something to help with the pain, and encourage the IB to finally wear itself out.



#48 Kim28

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Posted 20 January 2014 - 06:16 PM

Meg - my IB was definitely at it's worst around day 25. It seemed to me that things slowly started turning around very shortly after that. I could hardly leave the house between about day 15 to 30. By day 30 I noticed it was slowing down, and by day 45 I was seeing some improvement even. Don't worry! This is supposed to be the worst part, and on a positive note, it does make everything else seem not so bad. Oy!



#49 megtree

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Posted 22 January 2014 - 02:11 PM

Good Luck with your appointment Meg! I hope he can recommend something to help with the pain, and encourage the IB to finally wear itself out.

Thanks Jess! He actually gave me cortisone shots for the larger cysts, which has helped somewhat (he felt the risk of scarring far outweighed the risk of atrophy at this point, and I was inclined to agree). The shots helped a little bit, but boy these suckers are STUBBORN!

 

Meg - my IB was definitely at it's worst around day 25. It seemed to me that things slowly started turning around very shortly after that. I could hardly leave the house between about day 15 to 30. By day 30 I noticed it was slowing down, and by day 45 I was seeing some improvement even. Don't worry! This is supposed to be the worst part, and on a positive note, it does make everything else seem not so bad. Oy!

Oh, thank you so much for the encouragement Kim. I was about to say that you have no idea how comforting your comment was, but I stopped myself because of course you do! I know you are probably right, and I don't want to to dwell on the IB too much because I know it will get better...but I cant help but whine a little bit: why can't I EVER be in that minority of people that acne stuff actually works for without making me go through a trial by fire?!? WHYYYYYY?!?!?

 

Log -

Day 26, 27 -

 

Day 26-
I had my doctor's appointment today. As soon as he walked into the office he took one look at me and said "yeah...it's definitely worse than when you started...". I just nodded and smiled, but I felt like screaming "NO SH** SHERLOCK! WHAT OTHER GENIUS SUPPOSITIONS WOULD YOU LIKE TO PROVIDE SINCE YOU WERE PROMOTED TO CAPTAIN FREAKING OBVIOUS?!?!". He was planning on upping my dosage, but ultimately decided against it as he was concerned it would make my flare-up worse. He said that flare-ups do happen and that it's just luck of the draw most of the time. I guess he didn't like being supportive and comforting though, because he followed it up with "but it doesn't happen to people as often as you would think". Great. Can I EVER just ONCE be in THAT wonderfully lucky group of people?!?

 

He then proceeded to fill my face up with about 5 or 6 of the most painful cortisone shots I have ever experienced. On an after-thought, he noted my cholesterol had gone up a little bit, but he didn't seem very concerned. I always feel like crap after I go to the dermatologist. I cant help but feel like  something is broken when it comes to my skin. I do know I need to shake that feeling, it's a dark thought-road to travel down, and awful-izing isn't going to help me. Disappointment just really, really sucks, and I feel like it's a constant companion in my life as an acne - sufferer. sad.png

 

Day 27 - nothing very new to report, I have  2 more cysts popping up next to 2 already established cysts, making for a very, very ugly day. They just hurt SO much! I could almost handle the ugliness if it wasn't for the deep itchy pain that just means it's only going to get worse. Blah.

 

I believe the pain party in my face has brought in a DJ to drop the bass, and now they're all drunk-dancing to dub step. At least someone is having fun....BRRrrrRRRRrrrBOWOWOWOOWOWOOWOW.

 

The new official count is:

Left: 1 healing stage /active, 1 dormant in the "about to pop up" stage/inactive

Right: 2 popping up, 5 just hanging out, all active

Forehead: clear, except one little stubborn tiny papule that never seems to go away.

Chin: 1 little pustule that came to a head, popped, and is now just chillin', enjoying being a red mark.

 

Now ladies and gentleman, it's that time we all love and love to hate, SIDE EFFECTS REPORT TIME!!

 

Skin:

My face is a desert, the oiliness of before is gone completely. My nose has started to dry out, and my nostrils are flaking up very badly. This is making me look like I have some very unsavory habits. I feel like saying "That white stuff under my nose is skin, not cocaine" every time someone glances at my nose. My forehead is also dry and flaky. It really accentuates all the beautiful fine lines on my face and gives me that wonderfully desirable "older than her years" look that is so in-vogue these days. :\ I think I need to find a new night-time moisturizer. Any suggestions? My day time one is still working fine - but I wake up with super dry skin.

 

I have also developed a small exczema patch/rash on the back of my right hand. It doesn't itch and doesn't seem to be spreading, so I am leaving it alone for now. I may get some cortisone tonight just in case.

 

Hair: An absolute disaster (not that it was great before). It is very dry and frizzy. On the other hand, I can now go about 5 days without washing my hair - so that is nice in terms of time-management. I may start washing with shampoo and conditioner only once a week and using just conditioner every other day instead. Question to anyone reading: I really need to fix my roots, but I am scared the bleach in the toner will aggravate my dry scalp. Has anyone had any issues with this?

 

Stomach/ bowels: No noticeable issues. Drinking water seems to keep everything regular, and I definitely notice when I don't drink enough. No notable problems with reflux.

 

Joints: a little bit of pain here and there, especially in the morning. Nothing debilitating.

 

Mood: Pretty down. I think it has absolutely nothing to do with the Iso and everything to do with the flare-up. Hopefully I will feel better as it starts to heal. 


Edited by megtree, 22 January 2014 - 02:18 PM.

My Accutane log (with pictures):

 

 http://www.acne.org/...r-accutane-log/

 

26 y/o female- approx. 54kg
Absorica -40 mg, 1 daily, December 26, 2013 - February, 25, 2014

Absorica - 60 mg, 1 daily. February 26, 2014 -
Probiotic - 1 daily
Fish oil supplement w/ vit D - 1 daily

Morning:

Cetaphil cleanser

Food Grade Rose water - Toner

La Roche Posay Mineral Water Spray
Vichy 50+ Capital Soleil Cream for Sensitive Skin


Night:
Cetaphil Cleanser

Food grade Rose Water - Toner

La Roche Posay Mineral Water Spray
Aveeno Positively Radiant intensive night cream

Cerave Facial Moisturizing Lotion- PM

Cerave Moisturizing cream
Avene Cicalfate (as needed)


#50 Kim28

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Posted 22 January 2014 - 09:22 PM

Hang in there, Meg!

I can SOOO relate to your last post. I remember going to my one month derm appt, and the look on her face. She said something like "well, we're far from calling this a failure". I know she meant "it's early, so don't worry", but what I heard was "holy shit you look bad, this might totally fail". Then she proceeded to ask me if I wanted some topical antibiotics for "all the pustules". So lovely. The couple days before the appt had actually been not too bad, but she managed to crush my hope in ten seconds flat. I cried A LOT. Then I went home and discovered a new big cyst on my cheek. It was a super day.

I'm at day 74 now, and it has been a bit of a roller coaster, but I can say for sure now that things are better. I read your actives list (I think all Accutaners have these!), and it reminded me a lot of mine thus far. I keep a short one on my computer because my log is so wordy it can be hard to see progress. I make a note to myself every ten days and it has gone like this: Day 10: 8, Day 20: 11, Day 30: 8, Day 40: 5, Day 50: 3, Day 60: 2, Day 70:1. Ta da. So close to zero I can TASTE IT! And it is yum. See you here soon.



#51 megtree

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Posted 22 January 2014 - 10:13 PM

Hang in there, Meg!
I can SOOO relate to your last post. I remember going to my one month derm appt, and the look on her face. She said something like "well, we're far from calling this a failure". I know she meant "it's early, so don't worry", but what I heard was "holy shit you look bad, this might totally fail". Then she proceeded to ask me if I wanted some topical antibiotics for "all the pustules". So lovely. The couple days before the appt had actually been not too bad, but she managed to crush my hope in ten seconds flat. I cried A LOT. Then I went home and discovered a new big cyst on my cheek. It was a super day.
I'm at day 74 now, and it has been a bit of a roller coaster, but I can say for sure now that things are better. I read your actives list (I think all Accutaners have these!), and it reminded me a lot of mine thus far. I keep a short one on my computer because my log is so wordy it can be hard to see progress. I make a note to myself every ten days and it has gone like this: Day 10: 8, Day 20: 11, Day 30: 8, Day 40: 5, Day 50: 3, Day 60: 2, Day 70:1. Ta da. So close to zero I can TASTE IT! And it is yum. See you here soon.

Kim you're the best. I just want you to know- you've really helped someone today. Thank you :)

What does zero taste like? Does it taste like confetti cake cupcakes? 'Cause that would be awesome!

My Accutane log (with pictures):

 

 http://www.acne.org/...r-accutane-log/

 

26 y/o female- approx. 54kg
Absorica -40 mg, 1 daily, December 26, 2013 - February, 25, 2014

Absorica - 60 mg, 1 daily. February 26, 2014 -
Probiotic - 1 daily
Fish oil supplement w/ vit D - 1 daily

Morning:

Cetaphil cleanser

Food Grade Rose water - Toner

La Roche Posay Mineral Water Spray
Vichy 50+ Capital Soleil Cream for Sensitive Skin


Night:
Cetaphil Cleanser

Food grade Rose Water - Toner

La Roche Posay Mineral Water Spray
Aveeno Positively Radiant intensive night cream

Cerave Facial Moisturizing Lotion- PM

Cerave Moisturizing cream
Avene Cicalfate (as needed)


#52 OilyAcneQueen

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Posted 23 January 2014 - 05:41 PM

Here's some input for you, not sure if it'll help much though...

 

Hair bleaching: I'm naturally a dark blonde and got highlights the first week I was on accutane, before my skin and scalp got dry, so not too much experience there.  Your hair is probably more brittle than normal with it being so dry, which can lead to more damage from coloring it.  If you absolutely need to color it while on accutane, I would go a few a day without washing it before coloring so your natural oils help nourish and protect your hair when it's colored.  I don't think coloring will affect your scalp and the flakiness too much, especially if you allow your natural oils to protect it before coloring.

 

Nightime moisturizer: I have been using Ole Henriksen African Red Tea See the Difference Serum.  It's very moisturizing.  Sephora gets me hooked on their fancy expensive products because of those damn addictive samples they send out with each order, so that's how I ended up with it this expensive moisturizer.  A good not-so-pricey alternative is CeraVe Moisturizing Lotion PM.  I had a few samples of it from my derm during the first few months and it worked pretty well.  Because I'm in my late 20s and starting to get wrinkles, I also use Josie Maran argan oil around my eyes before putting any moisturizer on, this stuff is also apparently really good for super dry skin according to reviews.  Sephora's samples got me addicted to this stuff too.

 

Eczema:  If it doesn't go away, the best thing I've tried is Aveeno Eczema Therapy Cream.  It might even be good on a super dry face because it's pretty heavy duty stuff.



#53 PersnickityChick

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Posted 23 January 2014 - 11:00 PM

It sounds like your derm is very insensitive. :(  He is right about one thing... you WILL beat this! You'll kick the DJ out, and shut the party down, and eventually have that skin that you want. It's the reason that you started this. 

 

I get cold related rashes on my hands, sometimes, and they've increased HUGELY since I started accutane. I did get a rash on the backs of both hands that wasn't cold related, and I put Aveeno Creamy Moisturizing Oil on it.  I was amazed at how quickly it went away. It isn't greasy at all, and it goes on nice and smooth. 



#54 megtree

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Posted 24 January 2014 - 09:00 AM

Here's some input for you, not sure if it'll help much though...
 
Hair bleaching: I'm naturally a dark blonde and got highlights the first week I was on accutane, before my skin and scalp got dry, so not too much experience there.  Your hair is probably more brittle than normal with it being so dry, which can lead to more damage from coloring it.  If you absolutely need to color it while on accutane, I would go a few a day without washing it before coloring so your natural oils help nourish and protect your hair when it's colored.  I don't think coloring will affect your scalp and the flakiness too much, especially if you allow your natural oils to protect it before coloring.
 
Nightime moisturizer: I have been using Ole Henriksen African Red Tea See the Difference Serum.  It's very moisturizing.  Sephora gets me hooked on their fancy expensive products because of those damn addictive samples they send out with each order, so that's how I ended up with it this expensive moisturizer.  A good not-so-pricey alternative is CeraVe Moisturizing Lotion PM.  I had a few samples of it from my derm during the first few months and it worked pretty well.  Because I'm in my late 20s and starting to get wrinkles, I also use Josie Maran argan oil around my eyes before putting any moisturizer on, this stuff is also apparently really good for super dry skin according to reviews.  Sephora's samples got me addicted to this stuff too.
 
Eczema:  If it doesn't go away, the best thing I've tried is Aveeno Eczema Therapy Cream.  It might even be good on a super dry face because it's pretty heavy duty stuff.


Thank you for the input Queen! Your advice regarding the hair coloring is excellent! I'll wait until my hair starts getting oily-ish and then I'll go in

It sounds like your derm is very insensitive. :(  He is right about one thing... you WILL beat this! You'll kick the DJ out, and shut the party down, and eventually have that skin that you want. It's the reason that you started this. 
 
I get cold related rashes on my hands, sometimes, and they've increased HUGELY since I started accutane. I did get a rash on the backs of both hands that wasn't cold related, and I put Aveeno Creamy Moisturizing Oil on it.  I was amazed at how quickly it went away. It isn't greasy at all, and it goes on nice and smooth. 

I'm glad to know I'm not alone In this rash thing! Thank you for the words of encouragement Jess! I hope you are staying warm.

My Accutane log (with pictures):

 

 http://www.acne.org/...r-accutane-log/

 

26 y/o female- approx. 54kg
Absorica -40 mg, 1 daily, December 26, 2013 - February, 25, 2014

Absorica - 60 mg, 1 daily. February 26, 2014 -
Probiotic - 1 daily
Fish oil supplement w/ vit D - 1 daily

Morning:

Cetaphil cleanser

Food Grade Rose water - Toner

La Roche Posay Mineral Water Spray
Vichy 50+ Capital Soleil Cream for Sensitive Skin


Night:
Cetaphil Cleanser

Food grade Rose Water - Toner

La Roche Posay Mineral Water Spray
Aveeno Positively Radiant intensive night cream

Cerave Facial Moisturizing Lotion- PM

Cerave Moisturizing cream
Avene Cicalfate (as needed)


#55 megtree

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Posted 27 January 2014 - 03:43 PM

Dose 32 (I think):

 

My internet has been out for 4 days, and it seems it will be out until Thursday when (hopefully) they can fix it. It might actually be a good thing, as it makes it much harder to google "weird accutane side-effects".

 

I NEED a new moisturizing regimen. My skin is starting to look very, very crypt - keeper-y if you know what I mean. I'm thinking of adding in some kind of fancy-shmancy serum, but I've never touched the stuff before for fear of breaking out. Now I can I add the fear of looking like newly-tanned leather to that list. Thanks accutane! 

 

On a positive note: The earth-shattering meteor shower of an event that was my IB (in my world, anyway) seems to be subsiding. Now I am forced to evaluate the damage, and it's not looking great. Red marks, well, more purple than red, abound. There are still bumps under the skin that I am hoping are left over inflammation that will eventually flatten out - but I should know better than to hope for that, shouldn't I? I fear one cyst-cluster will turn into a hell of a scar - cluster. These guys were so inflammed that I thought they were all one HUGE cyst. I just figured out a couple of days ago that in fact the one cyst was three when the inflammation started to go down (and 3 lovely white heads showed up). 

 

Side-effects:

 

Except for desiccated eyes, lips, skin and hair, nothing at all. No joint pain, no headaches, no reflux or bowel weirdness. Thank goodness for that, I suppose. The rash on my hand has subsided after applying Rx steroid cream for a couple of days. Keeping it uber moisturized seems to do the trick. 


Edited by megtree, 27 January 2014 - 03:44 PM.

My Accutane log (with pictures):

 

 http://www.acne.org/...r-accutane-log/

 

26 y/o female- approx. 54kg
Absorica -40 mg, 1 daily, December 26, 2013 - February, 25, 2014

Absorica - 60 mg, 1 daily. February 26, 2014 -
Probiotic - 1 daily
Fish oil supplement w/ vit D - 1 daily

Morning:

Cetaphil cleanser

Food Grade Rose water - Toner

La Roche Posay Mineral Water Spray
Vichy 50+ Capital Soleil Cream for Sensitive Skin


Night:
Cetaphil Cleanser

Food grade Rose Water - Toner

La Roche Posay Mineral Water Spray
Aveeno Positively Radiant intensive night cream

Cerave Facial Moisturizing Lotion- PM

Cerave Moisturizing cream
Avene Cicalfate (as needed)


#56 Kim28

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Posted 27 January 2014 - 11:27 PM

Yay to the end of the IB being in sight.

I have been trying not to analyze the damage too much while it is still healing. I limit my looking in the mirror, and I have found that by doing this, when I do have to look close once in a while, I'm usually surprised by how much better it's gotten. It seems silly, but I found that from about day 30 to day 45 things really changed a lot in terms of redness and skin starting to look more like normal skin (ahhh, normal skin!). So hang in there, and don't get too critical with the right now. I was a fucking mess at day 30, and it is so much better now. And still improving - and until it isn't improving I have nothing to worry about. You will be amazed. Just wait.



#57 megtree

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Posted 31 January 2014 - 10:05 AM

Yay to the end of the IB being in sight.

I have been trying not to analyze the damage too much while it is still healing. I limit my looking in the mirror, and I have found that by doing this, when I do have to look close once in a while, I'm usually surprised by how much better it's gotten. It seems silly, but I found that from about day 30 to day 45 things really changed a lot in terms of redness and skin starting to look more like normal skin (ahhh, normal skin!). So hang in there, and don't get too critical with the right now. I was a fucking mess at day 30, and it is so much better now. And still improving - and until it isn't improving I have nothing to worry about. You will be amazed. Just wait.

Thanks Kim, and - Oh, boy would I lOVE normal skin! Even semi-normal skin. Even slightly abnormal but very predictable skin would be good!

 

Day 37 - 

The Flare-up that I am hoping is my IB has stalled. Again, I am in that part of the month where my skin typically clears up (right before, and a little after my period), so I am very, very wary about getting my hopes up that it wont get just as bad again around the middle of next month. I have to present my  research at a conference in a couple weeks, and if I have the pattern right - my face should be in full cystic rage right about then! Yay!
 

Right now - I am enjoying the calm before the (probable) storm. I have no actives at the moment, just inactive under the skin bumps left over from my most recent flare-up, and I have a line of red marks flaming across my right cheek like a bad paint job. Because all my breakouts happened in an almost perfect line right under the cheek bone on that side, it gives the right side of my face a strangely chiseled, contoured look.  I would say "If only these things could be symmetrical" but I don't want the Voodoo Gods of Acne to hear me and fulfill the wish *LOUDLY KNOCK ON WOOD*.

 

So in terms of skin:

Right now, no actives. 1 inactive under the skin bump on my left cheek as well as a few closed comedones on my cheekbone. On the right, closed comedones on my upper cheek-bone, and about 7 or 8 under bumps that are inactive at the moment. The skin is very dry and sallow looking, although layering moisturizers seems to help somewhat. My hair and eyes are also still very dry.

 

Still no other problems. Honestly, if it wasn't for the dry skin and hair, I see absolutely know difference in how I feel now vs. before starting isotretinoin.


Edited by megtree, 31 January 2014 - 12:31 PM.

My Accutane log (with pictures):

 

 http://www.acne.org/...r-accutane-log/

 

26 y/o female- approx. 54kg
Absorica -40 mg, 1 daily, December 26, 2013 - February, 25, 2014

Absorica - 60 mg, 1 daily. February 26, 2014 -
Probiotic - 1 daily
Fish oil supplement w/ vit D - 1 daily

Morning:

Cetaphil cleanser

Food Grade Rose water - Toner

La Roche Posay Mineral Water Spray
Vichy 50+ Capital Soleil Cream for Sensitive Skin


Night:
Cetaphil Cleanser

Food grade Rose Water - Toner

La Roche Posay Mineral Water Spray
Aveeno Positively Radiant intensive night cream

Cerave Facial Moisturizing Lotion- PM

Cerave Moisturizing cream
Avene Cicalfate (as needed)


#58 megtree

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Posted 03 February 2014 - 02:23 PM

Day/dose 40 - 

 

My skin is very uneven and cloggy. I am not sure why, but it coincides with what happened last month about a week before I had my flare-up, so I am preparing myself mentally for another round of cystic horror. I feel like every flaw, scar, enlarged pore, etc. is just extremely, extremely noticeable right now, for some reason. I do research in the behavioral sciences, so I am very aware of the acne sufferer's proneness to dysmorphia, but I just don't think it's that. I look in the mirror under the light, tilt my head slightly, and BAM! It looks like awful, awful skin. Prematurely aged, lined, with enlarged pores, indentations, blah. I just don't know what to do.... Perhaps it is because I am so oily (again), and the shine from the oil accentuates the flaws. It appears that my skin is going from weirdly oily to old-lady skin dry over the course of a few hours for the past couple of days. I don't know why, but I am over trying to figure out why my skin is doing what it is doing. My hair is still very dry and damaged looking, I really need to cut it and just get it over with, but every time I mention it to my boyfriend he sighs and says "Do whatever you want, you know I'll think you're beautiful no matter what" and gives me that sad eyes/fake smile/martyr-y look that says "If you do that, I'll still love you, but I won't like it".

 

I guess I just feel very, very unattractive right now. I mean, acne always makes me feel unattractive, but I disassociated my own skin from the acne. Now, I just have this feeling that my skin is crappy, I am aging prematurely because I have faulty genetics (growing up with a Greek mother and half sister with perfect, flawless Mediterranean skin has given me an inferiority complex, I guess) and things will only get worse, not better. I feel like I look COMPLETELY different than I did just a year ago before my skin started getting severe. I know I need to avoid feeling so negative - but every time I look in the mirror and see how bad the damage is, my heart just drops. It's like, I honestly don't know how to feel beautiful anymore - not necessarily in the cosmetic sense, but in terms of self-confidence and self-esteem.

 

Argh..I just want to have a good skin day. Please skin Gods, spare me your smiting. 

 

Actives: 0

Healing/inactives: 6

 

Side effects:

Skin:

Face: Cycling from oily to dry over the course of the day. Skin underneath oil is very dehydrated and sallow looking. Pores look enlarged, and skin is very uneven and bumpy looking. Skin tone is very uneven. Scarring looks very likely based on most recent flare-up

Body: Some dry patches come and go. My skin is very, very easily damaged. I scraped the back of my knuckles very badly just picking up my dog from the sidewalk. I keep getting random scratches and cuts. No strange bruising or anything though. My lips are still very dry, but they are not getting dryer or more inflammed. My eyes are ok, and my nose dryness seems to be abating. 

 

Joints: Joint pain is starting to become noticeable, especially in the mornings. My right knee in particular  (I tend to shake it alot, nervous tick) gets very sore at the end of the day, as do my hips, my left shoulder, and my jaws. It's nothing that gets in the way of my daily functioning, though. I wonder if stretching or yoga might help? 

 

Bowels: I had some very bad gas/ acid reflux last night after a couple bites of dinner, to the point that I was almost crying from the pain. However, this has been happening to me occasionally and randomly my whole life. Usually a combo of tums, gas-x, and pacing helps clear it up after about an hour. Doctors have never found anything wrong, so I don't attribute it to the Iso. However, if it happens again or more regularly, Ill mention it to the derm, just in case. 

 

Mood: Obviously, not so great. I feel more angry and irritable, and maybe a little more fatigued. Things just seem to get to me more easily. I don't think it's worth talking to my psychiatrist about just yet - but I will keep an eye on it.

 

And that's that. 


Edited by megtree, 03 February 2014 - 02:25 PM.

My Accutane log (with pictures):

 

 http://www.acne.org/...r-accutane-log/

 

26 y/o female- approx. 54kg
Absorica -40 mg, 1 daily, December 26, 2013 - February, 25, 2014

Absorica - 60 mg, 1 daily. February 26, 2014 -
Probiotic - 1 daily
Fish oil supplement w/ vit D - 1 daily

Morning:

Cetaphil cleanser

Food Grade Rose water - Toner

La Roche Posay Mineral Water Spray
Vichy 50+ Capital Soleil Cream for Sensitive Skin


Night:
Cetaphil Cleanser

Food grade Rose Water - Toner

La Roche Posay Mineral Water Spray
Aveeno Positively Radiant intensive night cream

Cerave Facial Moisturizing Lotion- PM

Cerave Moisturizing cream
Avene Cicalfate (as needed)


#59 Kim28

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Posted 03 February 2014 - 05:09 PM

Meg, I can so relate to how you are feeling. Even though my skin is doing better, the situation in general is so much worse than it was even just a few short months ago. I feel like I spent 9 years getting my scars to heal to the point where I didn't notice them all the time, only to have it all reversed in a few weeks. So even though I am clearing up, this really only makes what will be left behind more obvious.

In Sept, right before things got really nasty for me, I went to camp with my students. I wasn't a huge fan of them seeing me without makeup (it was an overnight trip), but I wasn't horrified either. I certainly wasn't thinking "oh, now they will know about my terrible acne" - it was more like "I don't really want them to see me without all my makeup - I will look old". Lol. If that trip was today I would get a doctors note to get out of it. NO ONE is seeing me without makeup for a LONG time now.

 

BUT, I do know that I felt awful about the redness and marks the last time, and it did get way better over time. I also know that even in the past couple weeks I have seen some huge improvement. It is so frustrating to be back in this place, but there are a lot of good things in my life to be thankful for too, so I try to focus on that, not analyze my face too much, and assume it will eventually be back to something I recognize.

 

And BTW, 0 actives sounds pretty good! Hope you are feeling better soon.



#60 emmygirl

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Posted 03 February 2014 - 09:19 PM

Well, it sounds like things are progressing a bit, and to have NO ACTIVES! That must be a great feeling. There is a definite commonality of acne sufferers that they tend to be insecure and anxious (not all but some, myself included) and have a hard time feeling beautiful even after the spots and scars have faded. I told my husband just yesterday that I feel like I am super insecure now. At school, my job and even around friends and family I am so much more ...guarded? That might not be the right word, but for lack of a better one, I'll use it. I feel like it's going to take a lot more than clear skin to build up those insecurities but I'm really going to have to work on my self esteem and try to focus on the things I enjoy about myself and my life! I know these feelings are much, much more than just zits and scars, I have been mentally and emotionally destroyed by my acne. So I feel like I can relate to you on that level for sure!! I also have noticed that I am looking a bit older, and my HAIR is so brittle which is so weird for me! I think that these first few months are going to be rough for us, and it's so nice to have people like you to talk to about it! Hang in there girly, and keep your adorable positive vibes and funny humor around to ease the frustrations of this dreaded thing we have called acne. Duh Duh Duuuuuuuh!


26 y/o Female - 120 lbs.

30mg Amnesteem Twice daily

Start Date: December 23, 2013

 

CeraVa Facial Foaming Cleanser

CeraVa Moisturizer

Vaniply/Aquaphor Lip ointment

 

 

 





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