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Isotretinoin, First Try, 24Yo Female, Cystic Acne.


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#21 Petrichor Murmurs

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Posted 06 March 2014 - 10:02 AM

Day 77. I think. I'm sick, don't know if it's a cold or what. Suuuper low vitamin D-levels. Weather is grey. Not in the best mood, but I think that's because I am sick, and probably because I have really been messing up my schedule in regards to the pills. I went half a week without, then back on, then had too few and stretched it out into a smaller dose, then nothing for a few days, (because I didn't eat, and couldn't take it on an empty stomach), now back on. 


The ... on my cheek got a friend to help. Not what I'd hoped, but at least they split the size between them. Otherwise, fairly smooth, if you disregard the scars, which I do. I feel nauseous, sleepy and anxious, hot, cold, dizzy.  Like I belong in a rehab facility.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to order in, turn on the tv, and feel very sorry for myself. I hope you are all doing better.



#22 Petrichor Murmurs

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Posted 24 March 2014 - 11:55 AM

Day 95. Or something. Still hiding in the depressing corner of the internet. I think I'm almost acne free, apart from the remnants of those pioneers that have lived on my face for months. I swear, it's the ... Don't even know what to say, but at least they're not really active. Trying to leave them alone and hope they end their days peacefully, in my, our, sleep. Side effects... Mood sucks, it was a bad idea to add the accutane treatment to a year this stressful. Though, I would give up almost everything to get rid of acne, so... Not eating well, which probably isn't helping. My eyes feel like someone has been torturing them in my sleep. They are painful, irritated, really sensitive, and some of the lines inside my lower lid are blood red and do not appear to be pleased.



#23 megtree

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Posted 24 March 2014 - 01:37 PM

^^ Could have been my log today, except I am 10 days behind you. Hang in there! You're not alone. 



#24 Petrichor Murmurs

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Posted 11 April 2014 - 10:21 AM

Thanks Meg.

Aaah, it's so frustrating. Right now I'm in such a bad mood, or not really; it's just that the smallest things piss me off. This leads to me snapping at people, and then becoming sad because I'm such a bitch. I don't know which day it is, it is not a proper post. My muscles hurt, my bones hurt, I walk like an old arthritic (?) lady, or someone who just shit themselves, or gollum, or all three of them together. Everything is sore, and aaaaah... shrug.gif



#25 megtree

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Posted 11 April 2014 - 12:15 PM

*Cradles giant accutane pill* my precious my preccciooooouuussss

 

I am sorry you are experiencing this! Have you considered reducing your dose? There are several people on these boards that seem to be having success with reducing their dosages after a bad bout of side-effects. Jess (PersnickityChick) is a good person to PM for advice, I think she was going through a bit of a rough time with her side-effects as well. Based on her logs she seems to be doing much better with a low-dose regimen and remaining clear. 



#26 Petrichor Murmurs

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Posted 15 April 2014 - 03:00 AM

*Cradles giant accutane pill* my precious my preccciooooouuussss

 

I am sorry you are experiencing this! Have you considered reducing your dose? There are several people on these boards that seem to be having success with reducing their dosages after a bad bout of side-effects. Jess (PersnickityChick) is a good person to PM for advice, I think she was going through a bit of a rough time with her side-effects as well. Based on her logs she seems to be doing much better with a low-dose regimen and remaining clear. 

 
Thanks for the tip!
Still very blah, but accutane oh accutane, how I love you, even when it hurts. Easter. Going to try to rest, and finish two papers. (Don't you just wanna laugh at that sentence.) The deadline got moved on one of them. After me pathetically asking if I could please have a little more time. I have no pride. Besides, if the choice is between grovelling and getting kicked out of college, the choice is easy. Why not just get a note from my doctor? Because everything is closed! Also, it didn't take much because we have the best coordinator in the world and she is getting sooo many flowers when I graduate!

As you may be able to tell, I am still not out of the dark side, however, I do see spots of shiny, beautiful light, and try to enjoy them. The weather is beautiful, unless it sweeps you off your feet, (not kidding, the wind here is strong now), and I am going to fill eggs. The sun makes me happy! Going to stop rambling now, after this message. "Sun, please become scar-friendly, it would be most appreciated."

 

Going back to the 30 a day dose, because 40 simply does not agree with me.

Petrichor out.
 



#27 megtree

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Posted 16 April 2014 - 12:06 PM

*high five*

Don't forget the sunscreen!



#28 Petrichor Murmurs

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Posted 27 April 2014 - 08:26 AM

Day 129. About.

Anyway. Went to my derm, got some advice, some repeat-cautionary tips and tricks, some stuff I'm supposed to put on my face when and where it makes a wound. What with the War of "What the heck is this" and "What happened now" going on there. Got a new prescription, (that, I swear, I almost had to fight the ******* apothecary-person-lady to get because she couldn't get that there was such a thing as varying doses or that sometimes, when you take more than one pill a day, 30 DOESN'T COVER A MONTH! Maybe, JUST MAYBE, the doctor who prescribed the amount of pills knows this better, and HAD a REASON?), which was a lovely way to add some stress to my day.

Then I fled the country for a couple of days, which was nice. Though sooo warm. Don't get me wrong, I like the warm weather, it is just the fact that I have to act like a ninja. A shady person in the shadows...

My bmi is dipping to 15, and I know, I know. But eating when you are not hungry is hard. Anyway, the derm said the pains I have been having probably is because I am too slim, because of the percentage of what things are to one another in my body - I don't know what I'm saying. So, it might be that a lower dose actually is my full dose. Therefore, averaging on 30 mg a day, and taking it slow. Probably will keep going till the end of summer.

 

Eyes are still sore, and very dry in the morning. (Meaning, they generally are, but wow, waking up in the Sahara desert.)

Joint/muscle/bone pain, been reduced after going way down on doses for a while.

Rashes, dry skin, cracking, becoming used to it, it is my skin now.

Lips, getting a freakishly long smile due to my lips cracking open on each side every time I wake up and yawn in the morning. Peeling, bloody scabs.

Acne, creeping up on my shoulder. One, it is disconcerting.

Mood, it won't tell me. It is possibly inventing a new one. "Accumood; available as a complimentary offer when buying accutane of any and all kinds. Don't wait, get yours today."

Other commercials: "Want a tan this summer? Get the 'tane instead! Nice and pink, aaall summer," and "That moisturizer getting too rich for you? Try accutane!" Aaaah, it's a good thing I'm not in PR.


Also, I have a hat. And it is cool.


Edited by Petrichor Murmurs, 27 April 2014 - 08:29 AM.


#29 Petrichor Murmurs

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Posted 02 May 2014 - 05:34 PM

Day 135.

 

My eyes, why?! This brainfog is sooo the last thing I need right now. I can't think. I keep looking at my textbooks, just trying to make sense of it, but nothing happens. My mind is just... eusa_hand.gif I used to read things once and pretty much remember it, now I can't remember anything, and if I do, it makes no sense to me. It's like I had a sudden drop of 60 in iq. It's like accutane is "oh well, we can't give her acne, let's take her brain!" badgrin.gif


I need to learn ****. Okay? GIMME MY BRAIN! It doesn't BELONG TO YOU!


For some reason I am now getting a few lost acne on my shoulders. I don't know what they're doing, they don't know what they're doing. I can't even articulate ordinary ideas!



#30 Petrichor Murmurs

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Posted 15 June 2014 - 05:26 AM

Day 178.

 

Summer has arrived. The pills have been on and off, accompanied by moods, I don't know what else to call them, moods. Freaked the fuck out when after a very low dose zits, (zits!) started popping up again. I mean, full-blown panic attack, fear, mini-depression and dooooom. I haven't had any new spots for so long that I felt like no, oh god no, it's not gonna work. I am gonna take this full cure and it... no... no!..

Buut, I'm keeping the hope. They were small and went away fast. And it's not that I can't handle a zit every once in a while, it's just the fear that they will come back in full numbers, big and horrifying.

Had my exam-period. It went terribly. That's the sentence. Not terribly well. But what's a girl to do? I go outside now, without makeup, and it is wonderful.

 

The side-effects are the same, since my zit-scare made me up the dosage again, I don't care, I will win.

Has anyone noticed this?; you can put on lotion, primer, makeup, layers, the whole uhm... well, you know, and still, five minutes in the sun, and you can peel the top layer of your skin off every night. Sunscreen ftw!

 

I also feel like chronicling (?) the journey of Accutane like it's a travel through an abandoned city, survivor-style!






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