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#41 Kim28

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Posted 29 December 2013 - 04:15 PM

Oh my gosh! The love I am feeling right now is ridiculous. I cannot thank you all enough. The posts made me cry. Grant it, I had already been crying today, but a happy cry was nice for once.

 

Also, I think my zits heard you, because the two things that showed up out of the blue last night started getting really itchy shortly after my post. I barely looked at them and they both popped. The good kind, like my cheek did earlier today, where it all comes out at once and then it bleeds - very minimal touching of skin. This is almost always a sign for me that it is done. Gross, I know, but I have been finding that it helps me when other people post some gritty details - things that I always thought only happened to me, and now know that a lot of people experience.

Normally a fireworks of successful extractions would perk me right up, but I'm finding it isn't the case this time. It's just so discouraging that they showed up at all, it takes all the joy out of that cheek cyst resolving.

So I'm left with a deep bugger on my chin just under my lip on the left. I've been able to see this one through the surface for a while, and wondered when it would get angry. I don't mind it as much because I had accepted its inevitability a long time ago.

It's the knowledge that there is still more to come that I don't even realize that is the horror for me right now.

Beyond my control.

 

Thank you all for being there. It helps a ton. I hope you are having better days. Persnickity - sounds like things are going really well! Ciara - update? Petrichor - glad to meet you, I have seen your log as well!



#42 PersnickityChick

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Posted 29 December 2013 - 10:42 PM

I have a new something showing up just under my lip on the left side. :P  Sounds like I'm getting what you're getting rid of.  Hopefully mine will go as easily. :)  I am glad the things on your chin are going.  I hope you do get another pick-me-up soon, so that you can start really feeling better. 



#43 PersnickityChick

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Posted 31 December 2013 - 08:36 PM

Happy New Year, Kim! I hope you are still feeling better.  Here's to a New Year, and clear skin! 



#44 Kim28

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Posted 01 January 2014 - 12:14 AM

Happy New Year to y'all too.

Things here are still hovering at mediocre. Which is better than shitty!

 

Log day 55: One active. Not as happy about that as I should be because it's the worst of the new kinds of zits I have encountered on Accutane. Big cyst, and the skin on it is so dry it is just horribly infected looking. Yuck.

And my recent breakout there shook me a bit. So much more doubt and fear now. It will take a little while to build my confidence in this process back. Still thinking I might be broken. Hoping for a clearer New Year in so many ways.



#45 JJ

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Posted 01 January 2014 - 04:58 AM

Wow I can really relate to this log. The first 2 times I did Accutane I didn't really think about my acne that much, I was told by the dermatologist it would clear me totally and I just was happy and assured that it would clear me and it did (both times but I didn't get any remission). Now 12 years later, and I am plagued by self-doubt and irrational thoughts regarding this third course.

Maybe it's the legacy of having acne for more than 18 years now (I am 32). But I can't help but feel that this course won't work, that I'm one of the few it won't help etc. I'm only a few days ahead of you (day 66) and I have that doubt and fear you're describing. I know logically it can take 4 or even 5 months to clear.  My acne is still mild, but it's not really any better than when I started. Every time I clear up, bang I get new zits again. And like you describe, in certain parts of my face (like my chin, above my lip) I have had more pimples in just 2 months than I have gotten in years and years whilst using BP. It's just so hard to be patient and keep the faith.

But that's all we can do. I wish you the best of luck.

 

BTW what dose are you on? I am on a low dose. Was on 60mg/week for the first 2 months, now on 100mg/week.



#46 LoveLouisV

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Posted 03 January 2014 - 11:37 AM

How's it going, Kim? 


xoxo

LoveLouisV

 

Check out my Accutane Log!!

 


#47 Kim28

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Posted 03 January 2014 - 07:43 PM

Day 58 I think? My timing is about to get weird because I am two pills short of my next derm visit. Not sure how I f-ed that up, but it looks like I'll be without my Tane for two days. I could freak out and call the derm, but I don't feel that inclined when it's only two days.

Things are okay for the most part. Couple things on my chin that seem to be clearing up now. I also have a NASTY jerk hanging out under my nose. It's not that big or yucky compared to a lot of the things I've seen on my face lately, but DAMN this thing hurts like crazy! It is just THROBBING!

 

Feeling a little frustrated that even though I seem to be consistently down to one or two actives (from 8 or ten a month ago), every time one starts to go away, another shows up to take its place. Can I just get ONE DAY without something hurting PLEASE? Sheesh.

 

Thanks to Ciara for the recommendation on reading some success stories. Found a couple that were similar to mine, and they all reported much improvement in the third and fourth month, so maybe some success for me is not far off. Day 100 is my new goal. I have decided to not be disappointed or worried until then, because the disappointment and worry is worse than the acne and a big struggle for me.

Looking at it this way, I am more than half way!

On the side effects side, my hand rash is back with a vengeance and my lips are cracked and have bled a bit in the past few days. I think it's because it is incredibly cold here - like minus 30 C cold. NOT looking forward to going back to work Monday in this super coldness, but ready to get out of the house because, although I love my holidays, it makes time slow down and I would just like to get these next couple months over with.


Edited by Kim28, 03 January 2014 - 07:43 PM.


#48 ciaraki13

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Posted 04 January 2014 - 04:27 PM

HAPPY NEW CLEAR, KIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PS -30????????????????????? I will never complain about Ireland's weather again. Hope your lips (and your heart) heal soon. Stay strong. I really think it's just around the corner.


Edited by ciaraki13, 04 January 2014 - 04:31 PM.


#49 looking2thefuture

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Posted 04 January 2014 - 05:36 PM

Hi there been following this log with interest must say I admire your way with words and you seem to be an intelligent,funny and judging from your profile very pretty women. Now ill introduce myself im 28 years of age and have suffered from mild to severe acne for ten years.Its got to the point now where im utterly despondent and wish the turgid disease can go to hell and leave me alone!. I have tried so much stuff over the years and my current skin care regimen helps get rid of the spots quickly but the always come back and often in the same places! Pending a mental health assessment and also blood test results I will be offered a course of accutane on the 9th of January. My case isnt severe i suffer from pustules and small pimples mainly on my cheeks and forehead. I have a lot of red marks but fortunately not much scarring due I think to the quality of the products I am currently using. Needless to say im terrified of going on tane despite knowing that it could finally the thing that could help me. My main fears are the intial breakout. My mental state is already very low due to a bad breakout from indulging in too much in alcohol and chocolate over the xmas period (how bad of me to try and enjoy myself!) and thats the only thing which is holding me back from actually being excited about the treatment.  Its a crucial stage for me in my life as im entering my last year as a social work masters student and im about to embark on my second placement soon. I have then been looking at stories of inspiration and I like this one along with some other recent logs. I think Ciara you really sum up how acne can make you feel. I guess my question is what were your thoughts in the final week or so before you went on Tane?. I need to summon up all the resolve and courage I can!. Rob. 



Woops relaised ive manged to post on this accutane log too but I guess all the same sentiments to you as well Kim. Really hope your treatment goes well. 



#50 Alien1

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Posted 04 January 2014 - 09:03 PM

Hope you're doing well Kim!!!  Happy New Year



#51 Kim28

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Posted 04 January 2014 - 11:59 PM

BLAH! Today is super blah.

The thing under my nose was painful for a reason. When I woke up this morning it ranked right up there with the grossest looking zits I've ever seen. I looked at it funny (i.e. just attempted to wash my face like a normal human), and it yucked all over in that ill-defined gross yuck way. Fuck that asshole. SUCH a jerk.

Then, out of the corner of my eye I notice this little tiny whitehead forming WHERE I JUST HAD ONE. Just saying 'hey there! Look how the tragedy continues!'. So I attacked its snarky face, which was, of course, a very poorly conceived plan. Now it hurts and I feel like a dork-face.

 

So. Day 58 again because I skipped a day. Figure I'll space out my missing ones a bit. Derm on Thurs.

Two events to report. See above for details.

Sucks to this acne.



#52 PersnickityChick

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Posted 06 January 2014 - 01:50 PM

How are your hands doing, Kim? What do you use on them? 

 

I discovered that my left hand had this very find little rash on it this morning. It was very rough to the touch.  Now, a few hours later, my right hand is doing the same thing.  I put lotion on which helped a little.  I am guessing the temperatures have something to do with it (Not as cold as where you are, but definitely chilly, at 3 F. high today). 



#53 Kim28

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Posted 06 January 2014 - 08:38 PM

Jess, this hand rash is bizarre. I never had it with my first round, but lots of other people mention it, so I know it is not an uncommon side effect. Some days my hands look like dry, red, scaly lizards, and other days they aren't that bad. Moisturizer seems to make little difference. The only thing I noticed was that it did let up a bit when I was off of work, and I think that is because I use hand sanitizer at work (children are so germy!), and it is very drying. But then the rash came back a few days ago before I went back to work, so my theory is not totally sound.

 

Day 59: A few things that are healing as slow as they possibly can (i.e. BIG red marks), and the one I picked at is STILL mad at me. Otherwise, doing pretty good. Kind of felt like myself today, which was nice for a change. I even VISITED THE STAFF ROOM.

So - my car didn't start this morning (it was -47 C), and my university registration is all messed up (library's fault), but I AM HAPPY!

Ah, the emotional rollercoaster of this disease.

Think warm thoughts for me!



#54 JJ

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Posted 06 January 2014 - 10:34 PM

Glad you had a better day. I had a kinda rash the first week of being on tane but it disappeared after a couple of days and hasn't come back. It was red and felt like sunburn (wasn't sunburn though). My left wrist ached a bit last week but again that only lasted a day. Tane is weird stuff.



#55 PersnickityChick

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Posted 07 January 2014 - 11:14 AM

SO glad that you are feeling good! And Way To Go on visiting the staff room. :) 

 

Thank you for telling me about the rash. I have a kind of cold induced rash that comes on every once in a while.  I thought that maybe this was related to it, but this isn't responding when my hands warm, so I'm guessing it is related to the tane. Right now it is completely invisible, but my hands feel ... scaly. I've also noticed that the skin on my hands seems very fragile. Any little thing can leave a scratch.  I look like I've fought my way out of a brier patch.

 

It was -7 when I went out to attempt to start my car.  It coughed, but would not turn over. So... grocery shopping will have to be delayed. Good thing there are some canned soups in the pantry, and some frozen veg in the freezer.



#56 Kim28

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Posted 07 January 2014 - 10:53 PM

Thanks for the support JJ and Jess!

DAY 60!: Today was a good day again! I'm sure an evil one is coming, but just having a couple good days is big progress for me.

I worried about my car problems instead of my face! What joy!

 

Hope everyone else is doing well too.



#57 waytoooldforthis

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Posted 08 January 2014 - 07:47 AM

Hi Kim

 

I am new to the forum, and am avidly reading through everyone's experiences of Accutane.

 

Sounds like you are seeing some improvements - here's to totally clear skin :)



#58 Kim28

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Posted 09 January 2014 - 09:53 PM

Hello All! Day 61 Report!

 

Even though I had a couple pimples today, I was not that disturbed by them. Firstly, I knew they were coming and did not dwell on them, so I was proud. Secondly, neither of them got very big or ugly, and came out with no complaints. For some reason, I just wasn't as worried - like there was a sense that the worst is over, and there's just bits of little shit left to go. Maybe (and that's a real maybe), I don't have to worry that any day I'll wake up looking like I did for all of October and November again. Anyway.

 

Went to the derm, and decided on a whim to ask for the brand-name because there is only a ten dollar difference (had been taking a generic). She chastised me for giving money to big drug companies for no reason, but said she was happy to do it. So far I have not exploded from making this switch, but it has only been one day.

The visit was both good and a little frustrating. We talked about antibiotics, she said best not to try that now since things are getting better on their own. She continues to assert that month four will be the golden month of joy, and not to worry.

 

I have book club tomorrow. I went in October, it was when things were just starting to get bad, and I wore A LOT of makeup. I looked horrible and was embarrassed. Last I saw them (a month before), I had maybe 1 zit.

The next month my skin was much, much worse, so I called and said I had car trouble and could not make it. Sadness. I love book club.

This month I think I can do it! It is tomorrow night, and if everything stays the course of the week, I think I can do it! I read the book and I am ready to go. I think that is huge.

Progress ahoy!



#59 Kerxo

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Posted 10 January 2014 - 07:35 PM

I have book club tomorrow. I went in October, it was when things were just starting to get bad, and I wore A LOT of makeup. I looked horrible and was embarrassed. Last I saw them (a month before), I had maybe 1 zit.
The next month my skin was much, much worse, so I called and said I had car trouble and could not make it. Sadness. I love book club.
This month I think I can do it! It is tomorrow night, and if everything stays the course of the week, I think I can do it! I read the book and I am ready to go. I think that is huge.
Progress ahoy!


Hey he Kim how's it going; did you make it to book club?!
I have just read your comments on the 4th month being the golden month ..I think am on (roughly) day 45 and have just had my dose pushed up to 40mg.. I too am going to aim for day 100 and *hopefully* wake up some day in month 4 and be seeing improvements!
Hope you're not too cold X

#60 PersnickityChick

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Posted 11 January 2014 - 11:55 AM

How are you? Is the higher dosage still working for you? And how did the book club go?




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