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Roaccutane Journey - 24/f/uk - Wanting Results!

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#1 Kerxo

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Posted 03 December 2013 - 09:30 AM

HI all! 

 

Apologies if a bit of my post is repeated from my previous one, I wanted to start a Roaccutane log and put it in the correct subtopic. 

 

I have tried everything there pretty much is when it comes to combating acne.

 

My skin is still crazy bad. My acne is bright red, under the skin lumps, with no head and my picking ..whilst it's better ..when I have something to pick at, i'll pick at it. I end up with open red sores all over my face. My anxiety is pretty much under control and my skin picking it so much better than it was, thanks to hypnotherapy ..but it's the fact i'm still getting the acne that I can't stand. 

 

It feels like i've tried everything there is. 4 lots of antibiotics, numerous creams, red and blue light therapy, chemical skin peels, I even have brought a home blue-light machine which really hasn't done much! I have been to see my GP around 10 times in the last 3 months because of my skin and he FINALLY referred me to a dermatologist, saying that Roaccutane is going to be the next thing to try as nothing else seems to be working. 

 

I also decided to book a private derm appointment as well as wait for my NHS one as I wanted the drug SO much. I've done a hell of a lot of research on it and the side effects don't even remotely scare me as my want for clear skin seems to have become an innate need more than anything else! Does that even make sense?! 

 

I went to my private derm last Monday (25th November) and he has put me on 30mg of Roaccutane. The consultation fee itself was £100 and the prescription was £52 ..and I had an NHS appointment already booked for yesterday. I went to this and the derm said that my case was relatively mild and that the picking seemed to be more or a problem than the acne. This, I agree with to an extent, but what the private derm seemed to understand was that if I didn't have any acne to pick at in the first place, I wouldn't pick it. Vicious circle I understand. The NHS derm said to me that she wouldn't have put me on the Roaccutane if i'd have seen her first, so guess i'm kind of glad that i'd seen the private derm first! The NHS derm did give me another prescription for the 30mg as she said she wasn't going to be increasing my dose. I was tempted to just double up the drug myself but I appreciate this is not a good idea! She has also sent me for some fasting blood tests at my GP next week, as well as asked me to take a pregnancy test whilst I was there. I got the impression the NHS derm was a bit freaked out at how much I wanted to be on Roaccutane!

 

Day 7 - 1 week done

 

So far, I have been on this drug since last Monday night at 30mg ..haven't noticed anything in terms of benefits yet, but I haven't seen or felt any side effects either, not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing??

 

I've read a lot that Roaccutane is a last resort and i'm terrified that even if I give this drug 6 months, it's still not going to work.

 

I want to be able to have clear skin, be confident in people looking at my face, being close up when talking to me etc.. and not feel really paranoid that they are staring and examining me. 

 

 

Will update over the next couple of days!
 

Katie X



#2 acnewackne

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Posted 03 December 2013 - 10:58 AM

Hello Katie. I am in a similar situation to you. I'm 24/m/uk. I'm going to see an NHS derm in 2 weeks. Although my acne is relatively mild its sooo persistent and like you I have tried everything. I'm trying the NHS option first although I don't think they're going to give me Roaccutane. Failing that I will see how MUCH it means to me and if I'd be willing to pay out some money for a private dermatology appointment, where I'm more likely to get Roaccutane. Again the side effects don't scare me as I'm so desperate, I'm sick of the DAILY UNRELENTING battle with acne! 

Keep us updated on how you get on :)



#3 lalaland24

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Posted 03 December 2013 - 12:49 PM

same for me- have been refferred to an NHS derm today :)  i went before but decided against roacutane but now ive changed my mind as i feel mentally ready. all the best!



#4 Kerxo

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Posted 04 December 2013 - 11:52 AM

Hi all!

Day 9 of Roaccutane and I'm not sure I've noticed any difference yet whatsoever. I'm still breaking out exactly the same as I was, I'm having no side effects at all and I'm beginning to get super paranoid it's not going to work!!!

I know it seems to be dependent on the individual as to what results you have and how quick but I'm sure I should have had results by now surely??

I'm getting so anxious that it's not going to work, I'm getting back into my old habits of picking and being constantly at my face in the mirror, especially at work!!! Argh it's driving me mad.

Maybe I'm anxious because
I'm exhausted.. But still, definitely no difference as of yet, unless I'm having my initial breakout that people talk about when first going on Roaccutane??

I'm tempted to double the dose myself and see if that makes a difference - I'm not seeing my derm till next Saturday and I'm not sure I can feel like this till then!!

Thanks for the replies so far, I will try and post pics soon!

Katie

#5 Kerxo

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Posted 11 December 2013 - 05:03 PM

Hi all!

Day 16 if Roaccutane ..I thought that in the last few days my acne has definitely been better and I don't think I've had any sever acne spots for a couple of weeks but now I have a massive bruiser on the left side of my chin/mouth ..I'm so annoyed, it's so painful and I keep squeezing and scratching away at it.

Also have some news I could potentially be gutted about ..both the private and NHS doctors ordered for me to have full bloods done at the GP and I went yesterday to have them done.. I ran out or battery this evening and when I turned my phone on I had a voicemail from the GP. My blood tests has come back as me having a really low white blood cell count. She said to stop taking he roaccutane immediately until they sought advice from a specialist.

It's not the first time I've had a low white blood cell count. 3 weeks before I even saw a dermatologist I had full bloods done as I wasn't feeling great and I had a really low count then and when they retested 2 weeks later, they were back up again.

I'm so so worried. Apparently a low white cell count is a side effect of the Roaccutane? What if they take me off it, I will be absolutely gutted! I have tried everything and waiting SO long to be put on it. I really would point blank refuse.

Argh.

The GP is going to call me again tomorrow to speak to me and I'm seeing my private derm again on Saturday.

Really hope it's not bad news :(!

#6 ciaraki13

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Posted 26 December 2013 - 05:51 PM

Hey Katie! Happy Christmas! How are things? I hope you got everything sorted with your white cell count and that all is ok. Thinking of you and stay strong! xx



#7 Kerxo

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Posted 28 December 2013 - 07:43 PM

Hey Ciara! So sorry for delayed reply - broke up from school on the 20th and it's just been non stop family/XMas stuff since! Slowing down now though.
Didn't sort things out with the WBC, unfortunately it looks like they're going to stay low but if they get any lower, I'll have to come off the Roaccutane as it makes me prone to picking up pretty much everything going round! Especially working in a school, my immune system doesn't need the extra stress. Not seeing the derm again till the 6th Jan so so far, so good. Fingers crossed it will improve with some rest etc over the Christmas holidays and I can carry on!
My skin has been getting better definitely, the amount of actual acne spots I'm getting is significantly lower than it was and I'm feeling a lot less stressed so there hasn't been any mass picking, however I always find that it's Sod's law with me; as soon as I start thinking tots working ...I'll look like a pizza face again!!

How's things going with you? Happy new year if I don't hear from you before XX

#8 MISSanta

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Posted 03 January 2014 - 06:36 AM

Hi Kerxo, how are things going? any new updates yet??surprised.gif I just started accutane too (1st January), i am very anxious! :s



#9 ciaraki13

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Posted 04 January 2014 - 04:54 PM

Katie!!!!! Happy new CLEAR!!!!!!!!!!! Just wanted to wish you all the best for your dermatology appointment on the 6th!! I really hope it all works out for you. How are you doing? Hope you have gotten lots of rest and are well buddy xxx



#10 Kerxo

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Posted 10 January 2014 - 07:24 PM

Hi all, hope everyone had a lovely Christmas and New Year.
I was off work for a couple of weeks ..it was nice to have a break (I work in a school) ..and even better ..I had time to let my face that I had pulled and picked to pieces, to heal. It is SO sad that that is the first thing I think about when I have any form of time off, is the amount time my face has to heal! EVERY single weekend I get home on a Friday and my first thought is that I have 3 nights sleep before I next have to go to work and that 3 days in terms of healing time can make all the difference. It really freaks me out how creepily obsessed I am with both picking healing, picking healing. Just when my skin is beginning to get a bit better, I get another spot or another bout of acne which leads me to clawing away and the vicious cycle starts again! This has been the case for the past 15 months now.

I think I've been on Roaccutane now for roughly 7 weeks. It has definitely made a difference to my skin in terms of physically getting less acne spots. However the downside has been that when I do pick, the Roaccutane makes my skin so paper thin and fragile ..that the healing process is slowed waaayy down, and takes 5 times as longer than it would do if I wasn't on the drug! Argh ..a picker's worst nightmare!

What's made things worse the past month or so - I had my first smear test (we have them as standard in the UK every 3 years from the age of 25) and mine came back as having abnormal cells. I had an operation before Christmas and they thought they'd got all the cells ..I got a letter Christmas Eve saying they'd found pre cancerous cells further back into me than they'd originally thought, and I had to go in for yet another operation on Tuesday (4 days ago) to be out under a local anaesthetic, and have a more invasive procedure to get the rest of the cells out. All the stress of this seems to have an adverse affect on my skin and I've just pick pick picked away! I now currently have 4 massive open sores on my face. I'm not sure I'd mind so much if they weren't so bloody big massive and red!

I saw the derm on Monday just gone and this was fine. She said my skin was looking 'good'.. (May I add though this was before the op on a Tuesday and before I went mad with mega-pickles') and she upp'ed the dose of my drugs from 30 to 40mg.

In terms of side effects, I haven't had anything that I've been majorly affected by recently. Dry lips are still there as well as the constant feeling of being thirsty. My white blood cell count was down 3 weeks ago but the blood tests I had last week showed they were increasing slightly so I'm not sure if this had anything to do with the Roaccutane or if I was just run down and had a virus or something.

The anxiety the picking stems from however ...I'm not sure if this is due to the Roaccutane or just me being my anxious-self. Hm. It's easy to 'blame' the drugs for my anxiety, considering I was quite level for a few weeks before I started the Roaccutane with no major anxious episodes, and suddenly I start the course and I'm anxious again. I guess it's one thing I'll never actually know the answer to! All I can say is that I'm roughly 7 weeks in and I have to complete the entire course before the full benefits will be seen!

I'm seeing my closest friends for the first time in 3 months on Tuesday. I'm considering cancelling ..again, I'm not sure if I blame my anxiety for the wanting to bale, or the fact my skin looks shocking. Unless the fact I think my skin looks terrible, stems from the anxiety?! Who knows. I could think about ifs and buts and whys all day long and I still don't think it would change anything!

Anyways, apologies for the deep, depressing and frankly, negative post! Feeling super sorry for myself this week!

Onwards and upwards..!!

XX

Katie!!!!! Happy new CLEAR!!!!!!!!!!! Just wanted to wish you all the best for your dermatology appointment on the 6th!! I really hope it all works out for you. How are you doing? Hope you have gotten lots of rest and are well buddy xxx


Ciara thank you for your lovely message! See my latest post above for the latest... Feeling overly sorry for myself this week - it's been pretty crappy, and when I feel crappy, I pick and when I pick I look crappy and when I look crappy everything is crappy and the cycle starts again! Ha.

Hasn't been a happy new clear for me the past few days but I've read your latest and I'm very pleased for you!! Keep at it matey!!! XXx

Hi Kerxo, how are things going? any new updates yet??:surprised: I just started accutane too (1st January), i am very anxious! :s


Santa welcome to the Roaccutane journey! How has your first week and a half been, still anxious or calming down? I have put my latest updates from my time above ..apologies for the depressing tone of the post! Think I've just had one of those weeks!! X

#11 MISSanta

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Posted 11 January 2014 - 07:49 AM

Hi all, hope everyone had a lovely Christmas and New Year.
I was off work for a couple of weeks ..it was nice to have a break (I work in a school) ..and even better ..I had time to let my face that I had pulled and picked to pieces, to heal. It is SO sad that that is the first thing I think about when I have any form of time off, is the amount time my face has to heal! EVERY single weekend I get home on a Friday and my first thought is that I have 3 nights sleep before I next have to go to work and that 3 days in terms of healing time can make all the difference. It really freaks me out how creepily obsessed I am with both picking healing, picking healing. Just when my skin is beginning to get a bit better, I get another spot or another bout of acne which leads me to clawing away and the vicious cycle starts again! This has been the case for the past 15 months now.

I think I've been on Roaccutane now for roughly 7 weeks. It has definitely made a difference to my skin in terms of physically getting less acne spots. However the downside has been that when I do pick, the Roaccutane makes my skin so paper thin and fragile ..that the healing process is slowed waaayy down, and takes 5 times as longer than it would do if I wasn't on the drug! Argh ..a picker's worst nightmare!

What's made things worse the past month or so - I had my first smear test (we have them as standard in the UK every 3 years from the age of 25) and mine came back as having abnormal cells. I had an operation before Christmas and they thought they'd got all the cells ..I got a letter Christmas Eve saying they'd found pre cancerous cells further back into me than they'd originally thought, and I had to go in for yet another operation on Tuesday (4 days ago) to be out under a local anaesthetic, and have a more invasive procedure to get the rest of the cells out. All the stress of this seems to have an adverse affect on my skin and I've just pick pick picked away! I now currently have 4 massive open sores on my face. I'm not sure I'd mind so much if they weren't so bloody big massive and red!

I saw the derm on Monday just gone and this was fine. She said my skin was looking 'good'.. (May I add though this was before the op on a Tuesday and before I went mad with mega-pickles') and she upp'ed the dose of my drugs from 30 to 40mg.

In terms of side effects, I haven't had anything that I've been majorly affected by recently. Dry lips are still there as well as the constant feeling of being thirsty. My white blood cell count was down 3 weeks ago but the blood tests I had last week showed they were increasing slightly so I'm not sure if this had anything to do with the Roaccutane or if I was just run down and had a virus or something.

The anxiety the picking stems from however ...I'm not sure if this is due to the Roaccutane or just me being my anxious-self. Hm. It's easy to 'blame' the drugs for my anxiety, considering I was quite level for a few weeks before I started the Roaccutane with no major anxious episodes, and suddenly I start the course and I'm anxious again. I guess it's one thing I'll never actually know the answer to! All I can say is that I'm roughly 7 weeks in and I have to complete the entire course before the full benefits will be seen!

I'm seeing my closest friends for the first time in 3 months on Tuesday. I'm considering cancelling ..again, I'm not sure if I blame my anxiety for the wanting to bale, or the fact my skin looks shocking. Unless the fact I think my skin looks terrible, stems from the anxiety?! Who knows. I could think about ifs and buts and whys all day long and I still don't think it would change anything!

Anyways, apologies for the deep, depressing and frankly, negative post! Feeling super sorry for myself this week!

Onwards and upwards..!!

XX
 

Katie!!!!! Happy new CLEAR!!!!!!!!!!! Just wanted to wish you all the best for your dermatology appointment on the 6th!! I really hope it all works out for you. How are you doing? Hope you have gotten lots of rest and are well buddy xxx


Ciara thank you for your lovely message! See my latest post above for the latest... Feeling overly sorry for myself this week - it's been pretty crappy, and when I feel crappy, I pick and when I pick I look crappy and when I look crappy everything is crappy and the cycle starts again! Ha.

Hasn't been a happy new clear for me the past few days but I've read your latest and I'm very pleased for you!! Keep at it matey!!! XXx

>

Hi Kerxo, how are things going? any new updates yet??surprised.gif I just started accutane too (1st January), i am very anxious! :s


Santa welcome to the Roaccutane journey! How has your first week and a half been, still anxious or calming down? I have put my latest updates from my time above ..apologies for the depressing tone of the post! Think I've just had one of those weeks!! X

 

Hi Kerxo, no worries I know exactly how you feel! I'm not really anxious because I know from friends that have finished their accutane treatment that you see the magic of accutane after the 3rd month so I'm still waiting!!!! rolleyes.gif  long way to go:p The bad thing is that i'm bailing on my friends too. i don't feel comfortable going out looking like this.. I'm feeling the same as you i guess.. its a matter of self-confidence... But they are friends, they should support us :P 



#12 Kim28

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Posted 11 January 2014 - 12:49 PM

Sorry about the picking. I had this problem pretty badly in my twenties - did the Accutane thing and realized that the scars I had left after were from the picking and not the acne - still have them. So when my acne decided to visit again, I was much better about it. It also helped that I found a thread here 'no picking buddies' where I could actually talk about it without feeling like a gross freak. Other people struggle with this too! For so long I thought I was alone, and it helped me to know I'm not the only one that thinks about things like 'how long do I have to heal from this?'

Although I still struggle, I have not fallen into the picking trap this time, so I know it is possible to begin to eradicate these demons.

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. After all this we will be the strongest ladies IN THE WORLD!






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