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Dating & Relationship Advice


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#1 Randall Flagg

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Posted 25 November 2013 - 02:34 AM

I’d like to get some advice from female perspectives here (guys can chime in too) about how to get back into the dating scene after years of being shackled by the struggle with acne and all the emotional crap that goes along with it.

 

Just to preface here, I’m a 25 year old guy and I’ve been single for about five months now. I’ve finally reached a stage in my life where I have my acne under control thanks to Dan’s Regimen…and I’m comfortable enough to at least TRY to meet new people and develop a lasting relationship with a girl. A little backstory: I’ve had girlfriends in the past, but I’ve always dealt with the insecurity that comes along with acne so most of all my former girlfriends made the first move and pursued me (I have no idea why, I looked terrible and acne-scarred but for whatever reason they showed interest in me)

 

Basically I want to reach that point where I’m confident enough to go after a girl that I find interesting and be bold enough to make that initial contact…but I’m not 100% free of that old familiar approach anxiety. I still have those nagging fears that I had when my breakouts were at their worst where I convinced myself that a girl wouldn’t even give me the time of day if I talked to her…and I’d be doing her a favor if I didn’t approach her or bother her at all.

 

It’s crazy to even think about this because even though I’m free from breakouts right now I feel like the GHOST of those old breakouts is still always with me, haunting me and reminding me of my lowest points in life.

 

So some questions for the people on this forum.

 

Are you in a relationship? Any advice on how you maintain that relationship and keep it healthy and thriving? How did you get over the anxiety/insecurity that comes with acne when just getting to know your partner?

 

And for the single people on the forum…do you date? Do you approach the girls or guys you’re interested in, and if so, how do you get over that fear of rejection?

 

Any and all advice is appreciated!


Daily Regimen:
-Clean and Clear Foaming Cleanser
-Dan's 2.5% BP 
-Jojoba oil as moisturizer
 
Nightly Regimen:
-Clean and Clear Foaming Cleanser
-Dan's 2.5% BP
-Cetaphil moisturizer + a few drops of Jojoba oil 
 
My Regimen Log: http://www.acne.org/...gs-regimen-log/
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


#2 DanTheNewWorld

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Posted 25 November 2013 - 03:24 AM

the relationship that you have with a girl is a direct consequence of the relation of you and other guys. if u pay attention, girls usually choose a guy when they see him in comparison with other guys. if u're doing well in this competition u're on. indeed the other half is you with her one on one alone, but its only a half.

a girl can tell your position with other guys only by and directly by the position in bed between u2, and it directly affects the whole course of the relatonship and it's lenght. including the other side of u shortening the relationship by ur sole decision and/or you having multiple/simultanious partners, if u're in that position in ..ur ...competition ....with ........orther ............guys ...................... .    


today Putin is trying to steal our land! and no, i'm not referring to Crimea, but to a part of Moldova!


#3 Pianina

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Posted 25 November 2013 - 04:42 AM

You're making everything much more complicated in your head, than it really is in the reality. Why giving yourself a negative identity - the ghost, the guy who's haunted by old breakouts...? And why trembling so much over such a simple task - to approach another human being with her own problems, fears, dreams etc? 
It's hard for some people to find a partner, but only because this task seems hard and crucial in their heads. Actually, it's people are less judgmental and appreciate your effort more than they think. 
Everybody has their lowest points in life, but if you always lurk in the past, you'll go nowhere. The same goes for expecting the worst in any situation. I think you need to make peace with yourself and give yourself a fresh new start, an identity which is not based on how clear your skin is atm, because think if you relapse for some time and suddenly want to hide away from a girl you're seeing - you might seriously hurt her.

In my relationship acne was never a real issue. I had such moments when we were sitting in a room with my boyfriend, chatting and listening to music and I suddenly discovered a new cyst growing on my cheek, freak out, and ran out of the room crying. It must have looked crazy. Later I understood that if my acne is not a big deal for my boyfriend, I will not push it convincing, that "it's a big deal, look how ugly I am!". If I'm pretty enough for him, why should try to tell otherwise, even if I don't feel pretty atm myself? So I basically stopped complaining about it and he just didn't notice anything bothering. The problem was just in my head (still is, but I'm fighting with it).

Hope this gibberish makes sense to you, when you read it. I'm not a native English speaker, so it might sound a bit weird :) You're a good looking guy, and when someone tells you that, or shows interest in you, don't just deny it to yourself and convince yourself otherwise or be like "I have no idea why she likes me...". If she does, than there is a reason. Accept it and add one brick to building your self-confidence.   
 


Diagnosed with PCOS/Insulin resistance

Currently clear from acne.

Meds:


- Yasmin birth control 
- Spironolactone 50 mg
 
Skincare:

- Paula's Choice

Supplements:

- Innate Response Glucose Tolerance Factor Chromium, for blood sugar balancing 
- Innate Response DysBio-GI, against candida

Extra:

- Peppermint tea 2 cups/day
- Licorice tea 1 cup/day

 


#4 SaturnGreed

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Posted 23 December 2013 - 10:14 PM

youre putting to much thought into it. Just go and approach them like if they were your friends. If they dont give you a warm reception then move on. Its not like theyre the only women alive. And theres always the easy method of just looking for casual dates at http://www.freedatin...eviews/ihookup/ and get your confidence up.


Edited by SaturnGreed, 05 January 2014 - 06:47 PM.





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