I wanted to let you all know a little about myself, (if anyone is going to read this ). I've had acne since I was in 6th grade, and this year has marked 8 years of being plagued with these blemishes. I like to call them that, blemishes that is. I find acne or zits, to be too sensitive to me! (but I will use the words in this intro and as sparingly as I can form this point on).
Anyways, I've lived life with acne, I don't know any other way of life. There is so many things that I wish to do, that I wanted to do, but I let my blemishes hold me back. I let them get in my way, far more times than I want to admit to anyone. Needless to say, I want and need a change. Acne has been so constricting that I feel like I can never be truly happy. I go to College and I see so many people with beautiful skin and sometimes I think...Why can't I have that? Why was I chosen to have this fate thrust upon me? I would think 8 years is torture enough. I've asked God countless times, begged and pleaded with tears in my eyes--why me? Please, if he could and if he was listening, that he could somehow lighten the burden I feel emotionally that this disease--as it seems like to me--has done to me. I know, my acne is not the worst but I also know it's nowhere near good.
I feel like the real me is trapped just beneath my skin, it wants to come out, yearning to break free and float to the surface--but that day has not come, and I feel almost so emotionally hurt, I wonder if I would ever be able to get out of this hell I feel as if I am in.
I want to be "normal", I want to leave the house without makeup, to go out in the sun and not have to cower when it goes on my face because I know it highlights my imperfections. I want to look people in the eyes for a long time, without fear that they are looking at my skin. I WANT to get close to someone physically and not be afraid that they are looking at my blemishes. Just the simple things like not having to step a couple steps back when my coworkers come close to me--it's funny but, I almost feel the closer they get the closer they will see my imperfection.
Well...I could go ON AND ON in self-loathing, but ...Let's get down to this.
I found acne.org many years ago, in fact, I had made an account thinking this was it for me. I am not quite sure what happened, I think I broke out badly and just stopped going on this site because it made me feel bad about myself. And funny enough, last week I was feeling horrible about my skin (the colony that has formed around my cheek was the culprit and will attach pictures of my before). After feeling horrible, and having people on Facebook, a trusted group, they were giving me so much advice and self-empowerment, so I went on a search on the web--and guess what website popped up first?
Acne.org--The Regimen forum. I felt as if this had to be a sign--I got, and even now, have an overwhelming amount of a good feeling about this...that God said, "Alyssa, IT'S RIGHT HERE. I gave this to you 6 months ago and you ignored it, well I'm showing you again--TAKE IT!"
SO, I took it. I ordered the Kit within two hours of doing research. Everyone on YouTube and this board helped me see that it really does work, and if i had any chance of getting clear it was this regimen.
I just got the products in mid-day and used my first application tonight.
I will post my thoughts every day and post a picture at the end of each week and update this post with them.
It seemed like, for people like me, I needed to find a place where I could silently stalk, to see how this person was doing on this product that seemed like the last hope--like it seems to be for me. (No way I'm going on Accutane)!
So, if you want, I would love any feedback, tips or just company as I take this journey. A little background tidbit, I had recently been on a weight-loss journey and ended up losing 53 pounds and thought I would be happy with my life. Then I realized the acne wouldn't go away with just clean diet and a healthy body. So, even though I weigh much less now and still will eat healthy along with working out each day, I am beginning this journey to fix the last part of my body that is holding me back from life.
Wish me luck, or stay to chat, any form of feedback is greatly, unconditionally loved.
You can find my before(starting the Regimen that is) pictures here: http://www.acne.org/...ictures-111813/
Edited by Alyssa Lee, 18 November 2013 - 10:14 PM.