Posted 16 November 2013 - 07:53 PM
Posted 16 November 2013 - 11:38 PM
Posted 17 November 2013 - 12:49 AM
You should feel beautiful no matter what and he should not treat you other wise. I would discuss your apprehensions, fears, and feelings to him. If he is ACTUALLY a decent guy that does not care about going down south, then I would say that he will understand and should support you. You are young and sorry, but even as a guy, i can say young teenage guys are terrible. I could use much more colorful vocabulary to describe them. I was not perfect either. I have seen it and been their to many times.
As nurses we are taught that teens and young adults have the hardest time adhering long term to selected treatments and regimens because they demand results and are less willing to wait lets say 3 months (I did this). So i have to ask because you mentioned it. How long have you tried the "diet thing". What kind?
Products? Type? Length of use? Used as directed? Not all BP's for example are created equal. I cannot use Dan's for example, i used a perscription type BP as needed. Pills, topical medications, diet- they take time. Its one thing to say its another to do fully.
Also, you are young and not done growning your hormones will be fluctuating not just monthly but also because your body is still maturing as much as you probably hate to be told this It takes time for this stuff to settle However, being viligant and treating the existing acne with topical medications, diet (like limit junk foods, simple carbs, dairy to name a few), exercise, practicing good, proper hygiene- Soap and water + 15 seconds, EVERY time you go to bathroom so that when you decide to inadvertantly touch your face an hour later you are not contaminating it and make it more of a breeding ground for bacteria.
Have you been seen by a doctor? Had lab tests like your blood drawn to measure your TSH (thyroid levels)? Maybe an endocrinologist? Derm guys are just going to perscribe you like differin cream, antibiotics, and send you one your way. Not treating the problem, such as a hormonal imbalance (my experience anyway).
Only have sex if you are comfortable. Do not use it to "keep him" just because you don't want to lose him if he becomes turned off by your feelings or the way you look. Pregnancies happen this way...
Edited by k3tchup, 17 November 2013 - 12:51 AM.
Posted 17 November 2013 - 11:36 AM
I think if you really love him, open up to him about it because if he deserves you at your best, he most certainly will deserve you at your "worst" too. But, and this is kind of a negative thought, if you're not ready to share this with him, if you're uncomfortable in your own skin, then honestly I don't think you're ready to be in a relationship. "If you don't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?"
BUT, if you do open up to him, I'm sure it'll bring you guys closer. Or you can just tell him you're not ready for sex because of your insecurities about your skin, and if he's understanding he'll be ok with it. Honestly he's probably feeling insecure about his own flaws too because sex for the first time in a relationship is always kind of scary (but in the best way - usually).
Either way, remember to stay safe!
Posted 17 November 2013 - 05:27 PM
This reminds me of when I started dating my fiance-- seven years ago. I was 16 and he was 17. I had much more acne than he did, mostly on my face but some on my chest and upper back. Every time we would kiss, it would rub off the makeup on my chin and I would end up with a red chin and possibly showing some acne. It freaked me out so much and I was so afraid to look him in the eye. Two years ago, I finally opened up to him about it all. I cried and just told him everything. I told him how much the acne affected our relationship and how much I wanted him to just run his hands over my skin without feeling like I was hideous.
Then I realized something-- all the times that he called me beautiful, all the times that I caught him staring at me, all the times he brushed his hand over my cheek or kissed my face-- he really loved me for me. My acne was not and is not my defining feature-- especially not to him. All those ugly feelings were only in my head.
Your boyfriend is calling you beautiful because he really believes it. Even if he can tell you are wearing makeup or if he can feel your acne, he's probably insanely attracted to you anyway. If he pulls away after touching you, then he isn't worth it. Most likely, he will think nothing of it and just be excited to finally be touching you in an intimate way.
Having said that, make sure that you truly love him and that intimacy is something that you really want. My boyfriend and I waited 6 months before doing anything *very* intimate-- and I knew we were in love before doing so. Also-- I wanted to mention that I'm finally drastically clearing up after going on Beyaz birth control, so that could be something to consider.
Edited by heitea, 17 November 2013 - 05:28 PM.
Posted 19 November 2013 - 07:29 PM
I cannot be intimate with my current acne..... Its just not fair to them..
Posted 19 November 2013 - 11:00 PM
Hang in there! It will get better
Posted 20 November 2013 - 10:18 AM
I feel you, I've been in a relationship for 9 months now and only recently have I felt comfortable enough to be around my boyfriend without my makeup on. I used to always wear make up when I was around him, even when we were just watching movies at his house. I would even sleep with makeup on and immediately put on more in the mornings, because I was soooo afraid that he would see my acne and PIH and would be grossed out. I never wanted to shower with him either. Worst thing is, he probably had like 3 pimples in his life and has the most beautiful skin ever. Recently we've talked about my acne and how insecure it makes me, and he ensured me that he didn't care and still found me the most beautiful without makeup on. Since then I have been wearing less or no makeup around him. But I am still really insecure and there are days where I feel so shitty about my skin that I can't help but wonder why my boyfriend is still with me when he could also date a perfect clear skinned girl. However, when I mentioned this to him his response was simple: 'because they're not you.' He was so sincere and I believed him. So maybe this whole acne thing is a bigger deal in our heads than it is for the people that love us.
Edited by birdsxfeathers, 20 November 2013 - 12:35 PM.
Posted 27 November 2013 - 08:12 AM
I don't have a boyfriend, and I don't tend to get intimidate with anyone, but just being close to someone elses face is something I can't do. I have had my acne for about 4 years. At first it didn't bother me as I was only about 11, but as time went by I realized how I must look and it became a obsession. Now, whenever I'm near anyone I can't look at them and talk to them because I'm scared they'll think something like 'ew, look at all those spots!' Sometimes, if I do glance at someone, I can see their eyes looking at my cheeks or forehead where most of my acne is. I hate it. Even makeup can't hide them.
I don't have the exact same issue as you, but I understand how you feel about other people judging you because of acne. I'm sure though, if your boyfriend loves you and truly cares about you, he won't even care about your acne .
Posted 11 December 2013 - 03:18 PM
I understand where you're coming from but I honestly think he'll just be that thrilled about the prospect of intimacy that your skin won't really be on his mind.
Posted 13 December 2013 - 11:37 PM
Posted 14 December 2013 - 09:33 PM
My girlfriend is amazing. She does not care AT ALL. Sometimes I'm astounded, but the truth is, people perceive things MUCH differently. We are so used to focusing on our acne that we think it bothers everyone around us equally as much - but the fact is, it DOESN'T.
Plus, anyone who's been in love knows it transcends petty things like skin flaws.
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