Hello.. I'm on here today because I have never spoken to anyone about my acne except for my dermatologist (but that is only about a 3 minute conversation a few times a year)..
I started getting acne in grade 7. It was consistently mild until grade 11 when all of a sudden it became devastatingly out of control. I was always a very beautiful and popular girl with a lot of friends, I even had a boyfriend but we broke up around that time in grade 11.
I tried every possible treatment out there for those 4 years (grade 7-11) creams, antibiotics, home remedies, everything. Then thankfully when my skin was covered in cystic acne ( i could count about 100 pimples on my face everyday) my dermatologist put me on ACCUTANE. It was frustrating for the first few months when I didn't see results and I hated getting my blood taken because it made me faint. But by the 5th month of treatment (may 2012) when i was COMPLETELY CLEAR, I had my happiness back. I had my beauty back. I could live my life again.
A year after that, the acne started to pop up again little by little (May 2013). I was in a relationship until 2 months ago and although I was heartbroken when it ended, I'm also glad because I wouldn't want my boyfriend to see me like this. Since then my face is almost as bad as it was before I took accutane. And for me this is so hard to deal with emotionally because I thought I had said goodbye to acne forever but now it is back causing me to be severely depressed. I never want to leave my house in fear that I may run into someone I know. Whenever I do leave, I'm forced to cover my skin in layers of makeup to make myself presentable.
Acne is stopping me from doing so many things. I wish I could never have to wear makeup and have beautiful angelic skin like all my friends. I even have a boy that I really like calling and texting me trying to start a relationship with me but the last time we saw each other I was still beautiful and he doesn't know what I look like anymore. So I've avoided him (even though that's the opposite of what I want).. and everyone else too... I would love to start a relationship, and go out with my friends, and live my life but I can't.. because I feel hideous. I want to cry when I look in the mirror. I want to cry every time I think of my acne.
The worst part is I've never talked about my acne ever with anyone. I suppose I don't want to draw attention to the subject. I just pretend it doesn't exist. But it is the thing that consumes me most. I am constantly making excuses of why I can't see people when the truth is I just have acne and i can't leave my house.. I'm so sick of it..... I'm so sad to be back in the same situation I was in 2 years ago.. I thought everything was going so well until recently...
Now, it is November 2013, I'm 19 years old and very very sad. I'm taking minocyclin (it's not the first time) and I have seen 0 results. I changed birth control pills (derm's advice)...no results...
I'll be going back on accutane as soon as possible...... Hopefully I can be happy again.
Thanks for reading.. This site helps because I know I'm not alone.