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#1 SendMeAngels

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Posted 12 November 2013 - 02:53 PM

I'm going to be 27 next month, and I still have acne. I've had it for over 15 years. Nothing I've done has worked to cure it. Not alternative medications, prescription medications, or diet modifications. I've been tested for hormonal imbalances, and they have found nothing. The only medication I haven't tried is Accutane. My doctor did approve it, and I am starting on December 4th. But every day I wake up with new clusters of acne. This morning I woke to find 5 inflamed papules on my cheek, and another on my chin. The benzoyl peroxide and retin a burn my skin, and Spironolactone gives me a period every. single. day. But despite all of these medication, acne on my face and back persists, it's always there.

Last month I lost my job, my boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me with a co-worker, and now I sit at home looking for jobs and obsessing over my skin. Sometimes I worry that I'll have acne for the rest of my life. I'm glad to be trying accutane, but my acne is stubborn, what if it doesn't respond to that either? I will have exhausted every treatment option. I got so angry the other day when my other cheek exploded with pustules, and I scraped my fingernails down my cheek until the bumps were raw. I'm fed up. I can't even express the depths of unhappiness I feel right now. Nothing brings me joy. There are times that I sincerely wish I had never been born. I'm not suicidal, but sometimes I think for fleeting moments that I wish I were dead. I sleep most of the day because I'm too embarrassed to leave the house, and winter has begun and it lasts around 8 months here. I am getting too tired and too discouraged to fight this acne. It seems as though I will have it forever.

#2 brandylad

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Posted 12 November 2013 - 03:01 PM

i feel your pain! i am 24 years old and have had acne since i was 14.. i was picked on at school and although i put on a brave face to others it got me down. I was diagnosed with depression when i was 16 years old but refused to take the anti-depressants.. instead i joined a gym and it was the only place i felt happy, i would finish college and spend 3/4 hours at the gym. Maybe the increase in exercise released endorphins which made me feel happier? I still have acne but i am currently in the middle of the die off phase from doing the anti-candida diet. It is really hard to stay positive but i am doing my best.. I truly do believe that acne is caused by internal problems and if i have had 10 years of acne i am of the mindset that i have 10 years of internal imbalance to cure. The biggest problem i face is that i always think people are staring at my acne as being an acne sufferer myself it is the first thing i notice in other people. Please do try and stay strong, there is a cure out there for us we just havnt found it yet :)



#3 MasterTruck

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Posted 12 November 2013 - 03:18 PM

Hi there, I just made an account to respond to you. I feel your pain. I'm 26, I'll be 27 in February and am now suffering from cystic acne. It seems like you have a lot on your plate, with your relationship trouble and looking for a job at the same time.

 

A couple of years ago I was feeling down and depressed. Honestly, I never listen to people who told me to lighten up, or do one postive thing each day, or take a walk, focus on good things. I mean, I listened, but they didn't seem to get how difficult it was. So to be honest, I don't really know what to say to you. For me, it helped to talk about it, so I guess posting on here was a good start. And don't lose hope.



#4 maria199

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Posted 12 November 2013 - 03:21 PM

Yes, i feel the same.. i have those ugly comedones that transform to huge pustules, i don't really know if there is a future for my country and obviously me, it's the first hour i use this awful kyphosis brace and i feel i will go nuts, 364 days and 23 hours left, my mom wants me to have an appointment with the ophthalmologist to say what i already know: my myopia is going higher and higher, that Msc is driving me crazy omg... i know i shouldn't be born.. i wish there was someone to release me from all this suffering..


What clears my acne:

Spironolactone 100 mg + limiting dairy

indoxyl (duac) gel + aha + baby brush for comedones.

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#5 kamiller1972

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Posted 12 November 2013 - 03:33 PM

I feel you too, sweetie.  I'm 41 and have been dealing with acne since I was 18.  I did go on Accutane when I was about 25.  It did clear me up, but the side effects and the cost were too much and I quit cold turkey.  I'm now on The Regimen and it's starting to take effect.  It's a slow effect, but I'm not giving up.  Give yourself some time and don't get too discouraged.  Accutane has worked wonders on many folks here and it could very well do the same for you.  Know that you are not alone!  This is why this community exist...to help and encourage each other when things seem hopeless.  Keep reading the posts and take back your personal strength.  We're all fighting this battle, sweetie.  grinwink.gif  


Current skin care routine:

 

AM

 

Rainwater Botanical's Soap for Troubled Skin

Spot treat with Acne.org's AHA

Clinique Moisture Surge Intense

Clinique All About Eyes with Baobab oil

 

 

PM 

 

Clinique Take the Day Off Balm with Adzuki Micrograin Facial Scrub (All natural-awesome stuff!)

Acne.org Cleanser for extra cleansing ( I wear a full face of makeup)

Frugally Sustainable Blemish Astringent/or Rainwater Botanical's Toner for Troubled Skin (All natural-very soothing and non-drying)

1 1/2 Pumps of Acne.org's 2.5% BP 

Clinique All About Eyes with Baobab oil

Acne.org's Moisturizer (small amount)

 

When I get home from work, I like to let my face breath, so generally, I will use Clinique Take the Day Off Balm with the Adzuki micrograins, followed by a more gentle regimen. Currently, I am using Bare Minerals Blemish Treatment on any actives...LOVE this stuff!

 

 

I've recently added a mask to my routine.  It's all natural and very cheap.  Bentonite clay and apple cider vinegar mixed with a wee bit of tea tree oil. This is great for blackheads!

 

I am currently 100% clear with this mostly natural regimen.  

 

Makeup: Merle Norman's Purely Mineral Makeup Powder

Merle Norman Aqua Balance liquid foundation

 

Primer:

Studio Gear Primer


#6 DanTheNewWorld

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Posted 12 November 2013 - 06:06 PM

there's a good side to the hopeless situation. this means acne treatment grabs your attention no more. you can pass it on to others to bare it, take a firm stand, after all, you didn't design you body, you didn't create the acne, you asked for help and you tried everything. so it's not your fault, it's a cultural/society disease, so let them deal with it. on a sarcastic thought, one could skip the daily acne treatment/masking and wear a "f... you i have acne" t-shirt.

well, i guess it's better  to invest your attention in more positive approach to people. and that probably needs less time and focus than the searching/trying treatments, and doing personal battles with acne which give a sense of powerlessness, and could lead to low self esteem or depression, but this is an unrelated path now in this case.

oh, :)


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#7 k3tchup

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Posted 13 November 2013 - 12:06 AM

I'm going to be 27 next month, and I still have acne. I've had it for over 15 years. Nothing I've done has worked to cure it. Not alternative medications, prescription medications, or diet modifications. I've been tested for hormonal imbalances, and they have found nothing. The only medication I haven't tried is Accutane. My doctor did approve it, and I am starting on December 4th. But every day I wake up with new clusters of acne. This morning I woke to find 5 inflamed papules on my cheek, and another on my chin. The benzoyl peroxide and retin a burn my skin, and Spironolactone gives me a period every. single. day. But despite all of these medication, acne on my face and back persists, it's always there.

Last month I lost my job, my boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me with a co-worker, and now I sit at home looking for jobs and obsessing over my skin. Sometimes I worry that I'll have acne for the rest of my life. I'm glad to be trying accutane, but my acne is stubborn, what if it doesn't respond to that either? I will have exhausted every treatment option. I got so angry the other day when my other cheek exploded with pustules, and I scraped my fingernails down my cheek until the bumps were raw. I'm fed up. I can't even express the depths of unhappiness I feel right now. Nothing brings me joy. There are times that I sincerely wish I had never been born. I'm not suicidal, but sometimes I think for fleeting moments that I wish I were dead. I sleep most of the day because I'm too embarrassed to leave the house, and winter has begun and it lasts around 8 months here. I am getting too tired and too discouraged to fight this acne. It seems as though I will have it forever.

 

My thoughts and prayers pour out to you. I hate to use the cliche, but i am sorry for you and wish the best possible out come. I believe that maybe talking about it without the fear of judgement might help you so if you wish to reflect, talk, bs, anything shoot me a pm.

 

I would not know what a period feels like saywhat.gif but i can imagine it.every.single.day. to be a serious drag and utter hell to be hold. My condolences.

 

-Pustular acne makes me think of a recurrent infection that is spreading when you pop them..if you do so clean your hands and maybe use a klenex to contain it.

-I use benozyl peroxide mix with clindamycin during my acute episodes and for spot treatments.

-have you tried to stop using spiro? Switch? Brief antibiotics to overcome this exacerbation?

-other medications you are taking including herbs?

-wash your sheets, pillow cases often?

-avoid dairy products? I have this sensitivity, helps when i avoid them (ice cream, milk, cream,)

-wash your hands or use alcohol santizer, every single time you go to the bathroom.

 

 

You could try hibiclens chlorhexidine wash (without the dye peferably). Worked for me when i developed clusters of nodules which I figured to be as a result of poor shaving hygiene. Just trying to help.



-the BP product is prescription only. It has worked on a couple people i know including me for pustular acne.


A nurse is not what you do, its what you are..I am a nurse: its not what i do, its what i am.

 


#8 SendMeAngels

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Posted 13 November 2013 - 12:54 AM

Hi there, I just made an account to respond to you. I feel your pain. I'm 26, I'll be 27 in February and am now suffering from cystic acne. It seems like you have a lot on your plate, with your relationship trouble and looking for a job at the same time.
 
A couple of years ago I was feeling down and depressed. Honestly, I never listen to people who told me to lighten up, or do one postive thing each day, or take a walk, focus on good things. I mean, I listened, but they didn't seem to get how difficult it was. So to be honest, I don't really know what to say to you. For me, it helped to talk about it, so I guess posting on here was a good start. And don't lose hope.


I appreciate your non judgemental listening. And that goes to everyone that's responded to my post. I know that all of you are suffering in your own ways. Acne is a sometimes relentless disease and for me it has an impact on everything I do (or don't do). Before now I had a lot of hope that either time or a new medication would clear my acne. But believe me when I say that I've tried almost everything to clear it. In one desperate attempt earlier this year, I nearly starved myself, hoping the acne would be starved out as well. Accutane is the last thing I can try, and I hope above all else that it will give me the relief I've been looking for. This evening I broke down. I must have cried for hours. I felt so flustered and angry about my acne, the loss of my relationship, and not feeling well for so long. But then that anger turned into exhaustion, I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of everything being such a struggle. I feel like I've failed at so much. And I know that my sadness is draining everyone around me.

Almost a year ago, a dear friend committed suicide. She shot herself at a gun range. The sorrow I felt after her death was unlike anything I've ever experienced before. I still miss her so much. When I find myself wishing I weren't here anymore, I try to remember how losing her turned my world upside down. I couldn't do that to the people I love. I think that being around people you love and who love you is perhaps the best remedy for all of the anguish caused by acne and everything else. But depression is such a deep illness and at times, it seems as though there is no relief. I hope that all of you find peace and joy in everything that you do. And keep fighting!

#9 TrentAH

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Posted 13 November 2013 - 12:56 AM

Ive had acne from 14- 32 and it has ruined my life, I guess in a way I have aloud it too...still, its hard, big hugs coming your way!



#10 JJ

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Posted 13 November 2013 - 07:09 AM

Accutane is an extremely, extremely effective drug for acne. It will amost certainly clear your acne up but it may take some time. It can also possibly put your acne into remission which no other drug can. It's a much, much stronger and more effective prescription than all other medications. Good luck with it. I'm still struggling with my acne after 18 years.

Hi there, I just made an account to respond to you. I feel your pain. I'm 26, I'll be 27 in February and am now suffering from cystic acne. It seems like you have a lot on your plate, with your relationship trouble and looking for a job at the same time.
 
A couple of years ago I was feeling down and depressed. Honestly, I never listen to people who told me to lighten up, or do one postive thing each day, or take a walk, focus on good things. I mean, I listened, but they didn't seem to get how difficult it was. So to be honest, I don't really know what to say to you. For me, it helped to talk about it, so I guess posting on here was a good start. And don't lose hope.


I appreciate your non judgemental listening. And that goes to everyone that's responded to my post. I know that all of you are suffering in your own ways. Acne is a sometimes relentless disease and for me it has an impact on everything I do (or don't do). Before now I had a lot of hope that either time or a new medication would clear my acne. But believe me when I say that I've tried almost everything to clear it. In one desperate attempt earlier this year, I nearly starved myself, hoping the acne would be starved out as well. Accutane is the last thing I can try, and I hope above all else that it will give me the relief I've been looking for. This evening I broke down. I must have cried for hours. I felt so flustered and angry about my acne, the loss of my relationship, and not feeling well for so long. But then that anger turned into exhaustion, I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of everything being such a struggle. I feel like I've failed at so much. And I know that my sadness is draining everyone around me.

Almost a year ago, a dear friend committed suicide. She shot herself at a gun range. The sorrow I felt after her death was unlike anything I've ever experienced before. I still miss her so much. When I find myself wishing I weren't here anymore, I try to remember how losing her turned my world upside down. I couldn't do that to the people I love. I think that being around people you love and who love you is perhaps the best remedy for all of the anguish caused by acne and everything else. But depression is such a deep illness and at times, it seems as though there is no relief. I hope that all of you find peace and joy in everything that you do. And keep fighting!


#11 mrsrobinson

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Posted 13 November 2013 - 07:30 AM

We have all been there- it's been a long hard fight for me too....and I find having an action plan with attacking on several fronts helps

 

Ditch dairy, that's a big trigger so try to skip it and see what happens....and keep up with the topicals day and night, clean pillow cases and drink water and eat healthy, no processed foods

 

I keep a journal of what I eat, mood, stress levels and grade my acne....you may be able to see some patterns- and action is always good....an idle mind is not good for us, we can easily spin out of control on the negatives

 

Get out there and get some sun and exercise, and surround yourself with one or two true friends or family members who love you for you, where you can let your guard down

 

And vent here with kindred souls, it really stinks and we have been cursed in a way, but keep fighting back!! 

 

Don't let acne take your peace of mind, that it cannot have!  Good luck to you, you have been virtually hugged!



#12 SendMeAngels

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Posted 13 November 2013 - 06:13 PM

We have all been there- it's been a long hard fight for me too....and I find having an action plan with attacking on several fronts helps
 
Ditch dairy, that's a big trigger so try to skip it and see what happens....and keep up with the topicals day and night, clean pillow cases and drink water and eat healthy, no processed foods
 
I keep a journal of what I eat, mood, stress levels and grade my acne....you may be able to see some patterns- and action is always good....an idle mind is not good for us, we can easily spin out of control on the negatives
 
Get out there and get some sun and exercise, and surround yourself with one or two true friends or family members who love you for you, where you can let your guard down
 
And vent here with kindred souls, it really stinks and we have been cursed in a way, but keep fighting back!! 
 
Don't let acne take your peace of mind, that it cannot have!  Good luck to you, you have been virtually hugged!


I appreciate your suggestions, but in the past, I've modified my diet, obsessed over everything I wore, drank, and put in my mouth. It was simply added stress and did nothing to clear my skin. Those remedies are not the answers to my problems. My acne runs much deeper than that. I'm getting more depressed by the day, and I haven't left my home since last week. I know I'm falling into a very deep depression, and I'm having a difficult time getting out of it. Every time I consider leaving the house, I see myself in my mirror and realize that with skin like this, I can't bear facing the world. My face is covered in inflamed pimples and comedones, and all of them will leave marks. I just keep counting down the days until I get Accutane. It's the only hope I have left. Anti-depressants don't help in the least, and I suspect that the core of my trouble is the acne. On those rare occasions that I am clear, my mood is absolutely fine. I suppose that is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because if my acne leaves, my depression will be alleviated. A curse because the acne isn't going away.

#13 jessrum78

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Posted 13 November 2013 - 09:41 PM

I'm only 12 and already have bad scarring and quite a few pimples and cysts all over my face... I've had it for about 3 years now.. I used to only break out on my forehead, but now I get pimples pretty much anywhere on my face. The scarring on my forehead is bad.. And it's just really hard because I can feel people staring at my face. I've tried everything- YesTo, Clearasil, Cetophil, Neutrogena, St.Ives, Aveeno, Vichy, and I've gotten perscrtiptions from the doctor. All of these products seemed to work at first, but my skin seemed to instantly become immune and my acne would just come back, sometimes worse that it was before. And it's not like I don't have a healthy lifestyle either- I'm a competitive figure skater, cross country, track and field, soccer ,volleyball... you name it. As for food, I keep it pretty healthy- Plenty veggies and meat. I've even gone on dairy-free and sugar-free diets for acne. But nothing has worked. I think my acne has deffenitly effected my emotional state- I try to be confident, but it's really hard. Just the other day a little girl came up to me and said, "I look just like you... Except I dont have wierd little spots on my forehead.. Or my chin.. Or my cheeks.. Or my nose." My confidence was instantly lowered. It's hard knowing the acne is there, but what's even harder is when people point it out. It also doesn't help when all of the other girls in my grade have the most perfect skin you've ever seen. And if they get one tiny pimple, they freak out and tell me how embarrassed they are. What really gets me upset is at lunch when I'm sitting eating carrot sticks, and the rest of the class is sitting there eating chips and lunchables. It's not fair!!! I shower every night, yet people who maybe have a bath once a week have clearer skin than me. Sometimes when I'm having a bad day (My parents got a divorce recently, and things got pretty messed up...) I will go look in the mirror, and when I see the reflection I just start crying. I feel so ugly, so disgusting... I just want clear skin already so I can get on with my life and stop being so uptight and insecure. Anyway, good luck with your acne.. I know it's hard. Don't give up!! :)



#14 mrsrobinson

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Posted 14 November 2013 - 05:30 AM

Just make sure your family, friends KNOW you are on accutane and that you suffer from depression- this way they can help keep an eye on you

 

And let your doctor KNOW you are suffering from depression when you start taking accutane

 

Look up the side effects, it is contraindicated for someone suffering depression and this is a very serious matter....I know in your mind this is the answer to your prayers and in your mind it is the only way you'll be able to live a normal life, but the road to nirvana is rocky and steep, it could cause an initial breakout and it could worsen your depression or you could be one of the lucky few who improve right after the first pill- you never know, so BE PREPARED

 

Make sure you have a support system who can help you get to the END of the road (which will be MAY OF 2014)....be honest with those you love most so they can help you get there, and navigate any rough waters as you get to MAY 2014.

 

Good luck to you and stay posting on this site as you go through those 4-5 months...but there is no substitute for people around you who love you and can keep an eye on your depression symptoms.   I'm not a psychologist, just a concerned soulmate...



#15 Member325

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Posted 16 November 2013 - 05:39 PM

I'm 25 and actually felt the same way as a lot of you up until 6 months ago. I had totally exhausted dermatologists, over the counter products, and some oral stuff that my body couldn't handle. I went online and stumbled across Dr. Neal's acne bootcamp. I was skeptical at first since I've never really heard of an online practice or dealt with a doctor online, BUT it's been a few months and I went from having 700 bumps ALL over my face, to having about 80!!!! I'm a totally different person now and all of my friends and coworkers keep commenting on how pretty I am. It was a life changer!! Go to acnepractice.com to check it out!! It's a fool proof program in my opinion. It was the ONLY thing that worked for me and I tried a LOT of things. Please don't give up!!!



#16 k3tchup

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 02:06 AM

We have all been there- it's been a long hard fight for me too....and I find having an action plan with attacking on several fronts helps
 
Ditch dairy, that's a big trigger so try to skip it and see what happens....and keep up with the topicals day and night, clean pillow cases and drink water and eat healthy, no processed foods
 
I keep a journal of what I eat, mood, stress levels and grade my acne....you may be able to see some patterns- and action is always good....an idle mind is not good for us, we can easily spin out of control on the negatives
 
Get out there and get some sun and exercise, and surround yourself with one or two true friends or family members who love you for you, where you can let your guard down
 
And vent here with kindred souls, it really stinks and we have been cursed in a way, but keep fighting back!! 
 
Don't let acne take your peace of mind, that it cannot have!  Good luck to you, you have been virtually hugged!


I appreciate your suggestions, but in the past, I've modified my diet, obsessed over everything I wore, drank, and put in my mouth. It was simply added stress and did nothing to clear my skin. Those remedies are not the answers to my problems. My acne runs much deeper than that. I'm getting more depressed by the day, and I haven't left my home since last week. I know I'm falling into a very deep depression, and I'm having a difficult time getting out of it. Every time I consider leaving the house, I see myself in my mirror and realize that with skin like this, I can't bear facing the world. My face is covered in inflamed pimples and comedones, and all of them will leave marks. I just keep counting down the days until I get Accutane. It's the only hope I have left. Anti-depressants don't help in the least, and I suspect that the core of my trouble is the acne. On those rare occasions that I am clear, my mood is absolutely fine. I suppose that is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because if my acne leaves, my depression will be alleviated. A curse because the acne isn't going away.

Most peoples acne does go deeper than just the superficial, physical effects. Thats why we are here in this section of the forums. I know its hard, ive been there. When you tie your mood to exactly how your acne looks you are putting yourself on a roller coaster that has highs where you feel great and lows where it couldnt possibly get worse.. but it does. This leads to physical and later mental exhaustion. The depression might leave, but its never totally gone. I've been clear for awhile now and its still there and creeps up when i get 1-2 new spots here and there. Its effects are greater at times than when i had many spots because i relapse often quickly to the past.

 

My suggestions are that you have to untangle your mood from how you look physically. Easier said then done i know; but its a truth. I cannot do it for your only you can. We here can help you and support you in your struggle to cope, accept, move on, and rebuild "you" but we cannot do it for you. You give up treating yourself, then unfortunately so do we. Thats how it works. I do not mean to be harsh.

 

There just comes a time when no amount of pills, products, treatments, and diet are going to help you feel emotionally and mentally better. Doesn't mean you stop trying either-its just a reality check.


A nurse is not what you do, its what you are..I am a nurse: its not what i do, its what i am.

 


#17 SendMeAngels

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 02:41 AM

 

We have all been there- it's been a long hard fight for me too....and I find having an action plan with attacking on several fronts helps
 
Ditch dairy, that's a big trigger so try to skip it and see what happens....and keep up with the topicals day and night, clean pillow cases and drink water and eat healthy, no processed foods
 
I keep a journal of what I eat, mood, stress levels and grade my acne....you may be able to see some patterns- and action is always good....an idle mind is not good for us, we can easily spin out of control on the negatives
 
Get out there and get some sun and exercise, and surround yourself with one or two true friends or family members who love you for you, where you can let your guard down
 
And vent here with kindred souls, it really stinks and we have been cursed in a way, but keep fighting back!! 
 
Don't let acne take your peace of mind, that it cannot have!  Good luck to you, you have been virtually hugged!


I appreciate your suggestions, but in the past, I've modified my diet, obsessed over everything I wore, drank, and put in my mouth. It was simply added stress and did nothing to clear my skin. Those remedies are not the answers to my problems. My acne runs much deeper than that. I'm getting more depressed by the day, and I haven't left my home since last week. I know I'm falling into a very deep depression, and I'm having a difficult time getting out of it. Every time I consider leaving the house, I see myself in my mirror and realize that with skin like this, I can't bear facing the world. My face is covered in inflamed pimples and comedones, and all of them will leave marks. I just keep counting down the days until I get Accutane. It's the only hope I have left. Anti-depressants don't help in the least, and I suspect that the core of my trouble is the acne. On those rare occasions that I am clear, my mood is absolutely fine. I suppose that is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because if my acne leaves, my depression will be alleviated. A curse because the acne isn't going away.

Most peoples acne does go deeper than just the superficial, physical effects. Thats why we are here in this section of the forums. I know its hard, ive been there. When you tie your mood to exactly how your acne looks you are putting yourself on a roller coaster that has highs where you feel great and lows where it couldnt possibly get worse.. but it does. This leads to physical and later mental exhaustion. The depression might leave, but its never totally gone. I've been clear for awhile now and its still there and creeps up when i get 1-2 new spots here and there. Its effects are greater at times than when i had many spots because i relapse often quickly to the past.

 

My suggestions are that you have to untangle your mood from how you look physically. Easier said then done i know; but its a truth. I cannot do it for your only you can. We here can help you and support you in your struggle to cope, accept, move on, and rebuild "you" but we cannot do it for you. You give up treating yourself, then unfortunately so do we. Thats how it works. I do not mean to be harsh.

 

There just comes a time when no amount of pills, products, treatments, and diet are going to help you feel emotionally and mentally better. Doesn't mean you stop trying either-its just a reality check.

Your advice is very reasonable. Thursday I had a breakdown, and a new papule was the straw that broke the camel's back. I think it had been a long time coming. I think the stress of my breakup and job loss coupled with acne threw me over the edge. I have a slightly anxious temperament and I am often very pessimistic. So those life events took more of a toll on me than they should have. Subsequently, I am starting CBT (a type of therapy) to learn to deal with things in a different way. I may also need medication. Life is too fleeting to spend so much time unhappy. I had been drowning in sadness and anger,  and it was and still is hard for me to accept help and admit that something was wrong. I think that it is easy to let acne define you and to allow it to dictate the way you feel. I'd advise anyone who feels deply hopeless to seek help before they wind up in a situation like mine. 


Edited by SendMeAngels, 18 November 2013 - 02:44 AM.


#18 k3tchup

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 02:47 AM

 

 

We have all been there- it's been a long hard fight for me too....and I find having an action plan with attacking on several fronts helps
 
Ditch dairy, that's a big trigger so try to skip it and see what happens....and keep up with the topicals day and night, clean pillow cases and drink water and eat healthy, no processed foods
 
I keep a journal of what I eat, mood, stress levels and grade my acne....you may be able to see some patterns- and action is always good....an idle mind is not good for us, we can easily spin out of control on the negatives
 
Get out there and get some sun and exercise, and surround yourself with one or two true friends or family members who love you for you, where you can let your guard down
 
And vent here with kindred souls, it really stinks and we have been cursed in a way, but keep fighting back!! 
 
Don't let acne take your peace of mind, that it cannot have!  Good luck to you, you have been virtually hugged!


I appreciate your suggestions, but in the past, I've modified my diet, obsessed over everything I wore, drank, and put in my mouth. It was simply added stress and did nothing to clear my skin. Those remedies are not the answers to my problems. My acne runs much deeper than that. I'm getting more depressed by the day, and I haven't left my home since last week. I know I'm falling into a very deep depression, and I'm having a difficult time getting out of it. Every time I consider leaving the house, I see myself in my mirror and realize that with skin like this, I can't bear facing the world. My face is covered in inflamed pimples and comedones, and all of them will leave marks. I just keep counting down the days until I get Accutane. It's the only hope I have left. Anti-depressants don't help in the least, and I suspect that the core of my trouble is the acne. On those rare occasions that I am clear, my mood is absolutely fine. I suppose that is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because if my acne leaves, my depression will be alleviated. A curse because the acne isn't going away.

Most peoples acne does go deeper than just the superficial, physical effects. Thats why we are here in this section of the forums. I know its hard, ive been there. When you tie your mood to exactly how your acne looks you are putting yourself on a roller coaster that has highs where you feel great and lows where it couldnt possibly get worse.. but it does. This leads to physical and later mental exhaustion. The depression might leave, but its never totally gone. I've been clear for awhile now and its still there and creeps up when i get 1-2 new spots here and there. Its effects are greater at times than when i had many spots because i relapse often quickly to the past.

 

My suggestions are that you have to untangle your mood from how you look physically. Easier said then done i know; but its a truth. I cannot do it for your only you can. We here can help you and support you in your struggle to cope, accept, move on, and rebuild "you" but we cannot do it for you. You give up treating yourself, then unfortunately so do we. Thats how it works. I do not mean to be harsh.

 

There just comes a time when no amount of pills, products, treatments, and diet are going to help you feel emotionally and mentally better. Doesn't mean you stop trying either-its just a reality check.

Your advice is very reasonable. Thursday I had a breakdown, and a new papule was the straw that broke the camel's back. I think it had been a long time coming. I think the stress of my breakup and job loss coupled with acne threw me over the edge. I have a slightly anxious temperament and I am often very pessimistic. So those life events took more of a toll on me than they should have. Subsequently, I am starting CBT (a type of therapy) to learn to deal with things in a different way. Life is too prescious to view it with such negativity. I had been drowning in sadness and anger,  and it was and still is hard for me to accept help and admit that something was wrong. I think that it is easy to let acne define you and to allow it to dictate the way you feel. I'd advise anyone who feels deply hopeless to seek help before they wind up in a situation like mine. 

 

I am so glad i read this and extremely pleased that you have replied! Many times people come and vent here in this section and we give all the helpful advise, love, and support we can try at the point and that person never returns or continous to deny anything we try to say or do. It saddens me some because I am helpless to do anything other than provide words. But i remember my struggle and realize that i had next to no one. Its a personal struggle we all face and at some point have to handle ourselves. Many never make it passed this stage...

 

I am glad you are not giving up. I wish nothing but the best of luck for you.

 

On a side note, i was wondering if you had tried the light therapy? The led lighting lamp things. It was my last resort before i had a break through. They are quite expensive and not all are created equal.


A nurse is not what you do, its what you are..I am a nurse: its not what i do, its what i am.

 


#19 SendMeAngels

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 02:59 AM

 

 

 

We have all been there- it's been a long hard fight for me too....and I find having an action plan with attacking on several fronts helps
 
Ditch dairy, that's a big trigger so try to skip it and see what happens....and keep up with the topicals day and night, clean pillow cases and drink water and eat healthy, no processed foods
 
I keep a journal of what I eat, mood, stress levels and grade my acne....you may be able to see some patterns- and action is always good....an idle mind is not good for us, we can easily spin out of control on the negatives
 
Get out there and get some sun and exercise, and surround yourself with one or two true friends or family members who love you for you, where you can let your guard down
 
And vent here with kindred souls, it really stinks and we have been cursed in a way, but keep fighting back!! 
 
Don't let acne take your peace of mind, that it cannot have!  Good luck to you, you have been virtually hugged!


I appreciate your suggestions, but in the past, I've modified my diet, obsessed over everything I wore, drank, and put in my mouth. It was simply added stress and did nothing to clear my skin. Those remedies are not the answers to my problems. My acne runs much deeper than that. I'm getting more depressed by the day, and I haven't left my home since last week. I know I'm falling into a very deep depression, and I'm having a difficult time getting out of it. Every time I consider leaving the house, I see myself in my mirror and realize that with skin like this, I can't bear facing the world. My face is covered in inflamed pimples and comedones, and all of them will leave marks. I just keep counting down the days until I get Accutane. It's the only hope I have left. Anti-depressants don't help in the least, and I suspect that the core of my trouble is the acne. On those rare occasions that I am clear, my mood is absolutely fine. I suppose that is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because if my acne leaves, my depression will be alleviated. A curse because the acne isn't going away.

Most peoples acne does go deeper than just the superficial, physical effects. Thats why we are here in this section of the forums. I know its hard, ive been there. When you tie your mood to exactly how your acne looks you are putting yourself on a roller coaster that has highs where you feel great and lows where it couldnt possibly get worse.. but it does. This leads to physical and later mental exhaustion. The depression might leave, but its never totally gone. I've been clear for awhile now and its still there and creeps up when i get 1-2 new spots here and there. Its effects are greater at times than when i had many spots because i relapse often quickly to the past.

 

My suggestions are that you have to untangle your mood from how you look physically. Easier said then done i know; but its a truth. I cannot do it for your only you can. We here can help you and support you in your struggle to cope, accept, move on, and rebuild "you" but we cannot do it for you. You give up treating yourself, then unfortunately so do we. Thats how it works. I do not mean to be harsh.

 

There just comes a time when no amount of pills, products, treatments, and diet are going to help you feel emotionally and mentally better. Doesn't mean you stop trying either-its just a reality check.

Your advice is very reasonable. Thursday I had a breakdown, and a new papule was the straw that broke the camel's back. I think it had been a long time coming. I think the stress of my breakup and job loss coupled with acne threw me over the edge. I have a slightly anxious temperament and I am often very pessimistic. So those life events took more of a toll on me than they should have. Subsequently, I am starting CBT (a type of therapy) to learn to deal with things in a different way. Life is too prescious to view it with such negativity. I had been drowning in sadness and anger,  and it was and still is hard for me to accept help and admit that something was wrong. I think that it is easy to let acne define you and to allow it to dictate the way you feel. I'd advise anyone who feels deply hopeless to seek help before they wind up in a situation like mine. 

 

I am so glad i read this and extremely pleased that you have replied! Many times people come and vent here in this section and we give all the helpful advise, love, and support we can try at the point and that person never returns or continous to deny anything we try to say or do. It saddens me some because I am helpless to do anything other than provide words. But i remember my struggle and realize that i had next to no one. Its a personal struggle we all face and at some point have to handle ourselves. Many never make it passed this stage...

 

I am glad you are not giving up. I wish nothing but the best of luck for you.

 

On a side note, i was wondering if you had tried the light therapy? The led lighting lamp things. It was my last resort before i had a break through. They are quite expensive and not all are created equal.

It's hard for people (me included) to admit that their feelings are spiraling out of control. At least to me, it almost feels shameful to admit that I don't have control over my own brain. My reactions to having acne are much much worse than the acne itself. When I get a pimple of any kind, it truly feels like the end of the world. In hindsight, I wish I would have recognized early on that something was terribly wrong with that. I hope that I don't need to go on medication, but I'll find out soon enough. It's brave and thoughtful of you to offer people advice. And even though not everyone will listen, you will find a few who do. And your advice and reassurance could be more beneficial than you could ever know.

 

Light therapy for acne? I haven't. I can't afford it. Without a job and everything right now (and even before) it was a cost that I couldn't swing. I'm still set to start Accutane on December 3rd (or 4th, I can't remember which). And I do think it'll work. It worked for you though?



#20 k3tchup

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 03:23 AM

 

 

 

 

We have all been there- it's been a long hard fight for me too....and I find having an action plan with attacking on several fronts helps
 
Ditch dairy, that's a big trigger so try to skip it and see what happens....and keep up with the topicals day and night, clean pillow cases and drink water and eat healthy, no processed foods
 
I keep a journal of what I eat, mood, stress levels and grade my acne....you may be able to see some patterns- and action is always good....an idle mind is not good for us, we can easily spin out of control on the negatives
 
Get out there and get some sun and exercise, and surround yourself with one or two true friends or family members who love you for you, where you can let your guard down
 
And vent here with kindred souls, it really stinks and we have been cursed in a way, but keep fighting back!! 
 
Don't let acne take your peace of mind, that it cannot have!  Good luck to you, you have been virtually hugged!


I appreciate your suggestions, but in the past, I've modified my diet, obsessed over everything I wore, drank, and put in my mouth. It was simply added stress and did nothing to clear my skin. Those remedies are not the answers to my problems. My acne runs much deeper than that. I'm getting more depressed by the day, and I haven't left my home since last week. I know I'm falling into a very deep depression, and I'm having a difficult time getting out of it. Every time I consider leaving the house, I see myself in my mirror and realize that with skin like this, I can't bear facing the world. My face is covered in inflamed pimples and comedones, and all of them will leave marks. I just keep counting down the days until I get Accutane. It's the only hope I have left. Anti-depressants don't help in the least, and I suspect that the core of my trouble is the acne. On those rare occasions that I am clear, my mood is absolutely fine. I suppose that is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because if my acne leaves, my depression will be alleviated. A curse because the acne isn't going away.

Most peoples acne does go deeper than just the superficial, physical effects. Thats why we are here in this section of the forums. I know its hard, ive been there. When you tie your mood to exactly how your acne looks you are putting yourself on a roller coaster that has highs where you feel great and lows where it couldnt possibly get worse.. but it does. This leads to physical and later mental exhaustion. The depression might leave, but its never totally gone. I've been clear for awhile now and its still there and creeps up when i get 1-2 new spots here and there. Its effects are greater at times than when i had many spots because i relapse often quickly to the past.

 

My suggestions are that you have to untangle your mood from how you look physically. Easier said then done i know; but its a truth. I cannot do it for your only you can. We here can help you and support you in your struggle to cope, accept, move on, and rebuild "you" but we cannot do it for you. You give up treating yourself, then unfortunately so do we. Thats how it works. I do not mean to be harsh.

 

There just comes a time when no amount of pills, products, treatments, and diet are going to help you feel emotionally and mentally better. Doesn't mean you stop trying either-its just a reality check.

Your advice is very reasonable. Thursday I had a breakdown, and a new papule was the straw that broke the camel's back. I think it had been a long time coming. I think the stress of my breakup and job loss coupled with acne threw me over the edge. I have a slightly anxious temperament and I am often very pessimistic. So those life events took more of a toll on me than they should have. Subsequently, I am starting CBT (a type of therapy) to learn to deal with things in a different way. Life is too prescious to view it with such negativity. I had been drowning in sadness and anger,  and it was and still is hard for me to accept help and admit that something was wrong. I think that it is easy to let acne define you and to allow it to dictate the way you feel. I'd advise anyone who feels deply hopeless to seek help before they wind up in a situation like mine. 

 

I am so glad i read this and extremely pleased that you have replied! Many times people come and vent here in this section and we give all the helpful advise, love, and support we can try at the point and that person never returns or continous to deny anything we try to say or do. It saddens me some because I am helpless to do anything other than provide words. But i remember my struggle and realize that i had next to no one. Its a personal struggle we all face and at some point have to handle ourselves. Many never make it passed this stage...

 

I am glad you are not giving up. I wish nothing but the best of luck for you.

 

On a side note, i was wondering if you had tried the light therapy? The led lighting lamp things. It was my last resort before i had a break through. They are quite expensive and not all are created equal.

It's hard for people (me included) to admit that their feelings are spiraling out of control. At least to me, it almost feels shameful to admit that I don't have control over my own brain. My reactions to having acne are much much worse than the acne itself. When I get a pimple of any kind, it truly feels like the end of the world. In hindsight, I wish I would have recognized early on that something was terribly wrong with that. I hope that I don't need to go on medication, but I'll find out soon enough. It's brave and thoughtful of you to offer people advice. And even though not everyone will listen, you will find a few who do. And your advice and reassurance could be more beneficial than you could ever know.

 

Light therapy for acne? I haven't. I can't afford it. Without a job and everything right now (and even before) it was a cost that I couldn't swing. I'm still set to start Accutane on December 3rd (or 4th, I can't remember which). And I do think it'll work. It worked for you though?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


It's hard for people (me included) to admit that their feelings are spiraling out of control. At least to me, it almost feels shameful to admit that I don't have control over my own brain. My reactions to having acne are much much worse than the acne itself. When I get a pimple of any kind, it truly feels like the end of the world. In hindsight, I wish I would have recognized early on that something was terribly wrong with that. I hope that I don't need to go on medication, but I'll find out soon enough. It's brave and thoughtful of you to offer people advice. And even though not everyone will listen, you will find a few who do. And your advice and reassurance could be more beneficial than you could ever know.

 

Light therapy for acne? I haven't. I can't afford it. Without a job and everything right now (and even before) it was a cost that I couldn't swing. I'm still set to start Accutane on December 3rd (or 4th, I can't remember which). And I do think it'll work. It worked for you though?

No i never tried it. I was extremely tempted. I am glad i didnt because i could not afford $400 machine to make my problems go away.

 

Admitting feelings, especially to acknowledge that most of it is acne related and that you have let it control you and make you out of control is a huge pride pill to swallow. Something like this:

25323223.Big_little_1.JPG

 

 

Its like...where to begin? Truthfully, I do not know. It all hits you so fast sometimes and life can be upside down. This is where you have a choice to make. You can either dig a huge hole and dump all the hate, anguish, hurt- all these emotions in a hole and do your best to cover it whilst moving on like nothing happened and use all this energy to keep fighting and find relief. Or, you can uncover this mound of resurfacing emotions and admit to them, beginning a process of a slow, drawn out, recovery.Thus begins the attempt to swallow the huge horse pill of pride. No more berrying this in the ground only to let it resurface and boil over at a later time. No one likes doing this. We are all too proud and never wanting to give up or admit defeat. It is sometimes necessary. I am sorry i say to myself for what i have done, I wish to help me I say. I want things in my life, but i am stopping my self by letting acne control me, I say. I do not want that. I need help. This i remember saying to myself at midnight on a cold winter February morning. Even then It took me 2 months to go see a psychiatrist.

 

I honestly feel that talking about it to someone that is a great support system to you and knows you-loves you- will be your first step and best step. I do not know what path comes after that.  If accutane is set for you, then try it, but do not set all your hope on it and be viligent to try other things to help you and reach out if you can.

 

I provide advise whether people listen or not; whether its the right kind or not because I suffered extremely alone. I suffered in the midst of a excruciatingly painful parental divorce whilst trying to decide what i wanted to do with my life and accept some new "man" into my parents life while the other "old man" continoues to drink him self to death.. It was hard. It still is. I provide advise because i feel it might just help someone some day. Even to where it might change their life and that I feel accomplished for my many failures and shortcomings.


Edited by k3tchup, 18 November 2013 - 03:25 AM.

A nurse is not what you do, its what you are..I am a nurse: its not what i do, its what i am.

 





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