I ridicule myself for posting this -- but ultimately it wouldn't hurt to do so. In advance, thanks for reading or sharing comments.
Obviously the issue is acne.. or perhaps it's merely one of the various issues that I might not be consciously familiar with. Regardless, acne does feel like the largest issue. Maybe even the root cause of it all. Yet it all seems ridiculous. There are definitely larger problems one can go through in life, but this feels like it's tearing me down without even giving me a chance to kick and scream. This is psychological I think. It probably all is. I'm young. I turned twenty one just about a month ago and I'm not sure I'm glad I did. I expected this to not be an issue by the time I got to this age. I have suffered from it for so long that I can't even recall when it first began. I have lived it through this far and I will unfortunately continue to do so.
If only it chose to go away. I would lavish at my opportunities with peace of mind-- rather than look upon them as another commencing task to go. If only it somehow just disappear. I can sleep with not a frown, but perhaps maybe even a smile. Acne just ruins my mindset by simply playing a part in it. I do enjoy the solitude that I embrace often; and I do periodically try to have my moments where I can just commit to social activities that I enjoy. Acne is still and always is in my mind however. College has been a struggle for me; Acne was always in my mind then. I tried to have a rather negative outlook on my life while attending college; merely accepting my misery. This outlook helped me get farther, but acne is still in my mind and continuously bringing down my misery even further.
I laugh and cry both at the same time. I have let myself be defeated and every attempt at conquest remains to be futile. I still put on my suit of armor, but it feels like I'm heading towards a carnival rather than battle. I do hope things get better; as there are opportunities to be have upon the next year. I need to exceed and I need to overcome, but will I ever? It still lingers in my mind and I can't make it go away. This is my problem.