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Well, I've Given Up Hope That This Will Get Better

never ending yep theres another one!

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#1 emmygirl

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Posted 26 October 2013 - 04:25 PM

So I've been posting on here for about three weeks and have found a lot of support and a lot of really helpful tips. But, I think at this point I'm done hoping for any type of improvement. I know this sounds so lame and "stop feeling sorry for yourself" but I'm just exhausting with thinking things will get better and then realizing they have just become much worse. I had a small breakout in august, it got better, but just as it got better another pretty big breakout on my chin. Okay that's getting better than bam 4-5 more cysts start forming on both sides of my chin, then I notice 30-40 small clogged pores all along my chin and upper lips. Once those cysts heal, they reappear again only to linger even longer (seriously had some of these bastards since September 1st. Things start to look brighter, I start a new treatment and BAM horrible breakout, cysts, whiteheads, blackheads, big irritated zits on top of other zits (yes, seriously!) and it's just not getting any better. It has only continued to get worse. I wake up with three or four new cysts on my jaw and try to shake it off, then by the afternoon a new monster as grown on the side of my nose. Everyday I recognize myself less and less and my husband is just done with me. He is sick and tired of talking about it and he is no longer a support for me. I am alone, in this new town that I hate, trying to do this new master's program that is too stressful and I have a job that recently told me "appearance is everything". So great, I feel like every angle of my life is coming at me with a spear and on top of it all my skin just won't STOP breaking out! I started some new topicals a few days ago and I'm sure it is just purging, but I already had an IB two weeks and then one week ago, when will they stop. I'm just done guys, I found myself laughing today in the mirror because it is just ridiculous! One after another after another, relentless! On top of everything I feel like I have been more relaxed and accepting of my acne over the last 4-5 days and thought that would help, but it won't. Okay I'm done with my rant, thank you so much to anyone who even takes the time to read this, it's pretty pathetic. This too shall pass.....right?



#2 Adayinthelife

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Posted 27 October 2013 - 03:10 AM

Tell me about it. I've had a few bad pimples since September as well, and they just won't go away, This weekend it's got even worse. You can never really give up though, more breakouts are always to be expected. Sometimes you think it's almost over and then Boom, your wrong. Life can be tough sometimes, and I know what it's like to be rock bottom, but the good times always return. It must be stressful to be in your position, with your job and everything but appearance is never everything, even models have to have other skills and abilities to their job,  Hang in there.



#3 Solis1

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Posted 28 October 2013 - 03:49 AM

I feel you. I was feeling a little better the other week because i washed my face and i literally felt no incoming pimples on my cheeks when i was rubbing with my fingers (the only time i ever touch my cheeks) and i was so excited. This week i started breaking out FML. Its literally like taking 1 step forward and 2 steps back i hate this so much. My parents are getting frustrated because nothing seems to work for me, and I am too it sucks! but i'm doing a little better then I was a month ago! We just got to take it one day at a time i guess.



#4 goodz19

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Posted 28 October 2013 - 09:11 AM

at least 25 years of my life have been this.  I know the feeling.  It still affects me tremendously, but at some point, you just accept that its apart of you and hope for more good days than bad ones.  Chin up :)  It'll get better



#5 thelongestroad

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Posted 28 October 2013 - 12:45 PM

Turn off the lights, lay down, and think of happy memories.  Times you have made someone happy.  Smiles on the faces of your family and friends.  Remember that your life is yours.  The pressure of school and work can't take that away from you.



#6 emmygirl

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Posted 28 October 2013 - 03:11 PM

Thank you guys seriously so, so much! You have no idea how much that means. It's been really, really tough but I'm hanging in there! We are all going through things together and that makes so much of a difference!



#7 Ballen

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Posted 28 October 2013 - 08:48 PM

"Winners never quit and quitters never win".


Edited by Ballen, 28 October 2013 - 08:48 PM.


#8 eveaguilar

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Posted 29 October 2013 - 05:33 PM

I feel you! :'(
I am like so depressed and suicidal right now! It's my grandma's birthday and they are all out eating dinner and I'm just home with my dog because I had a swollen cheek and refused to leave the house! :'( I don't know what to do anymore! Dermatologist, herbalist, naturist, doctor, pastor, voodoo person, fanily and friends, every single acne brand cream... NOTHING WORKS!!:'(
What did I do to get this? I'm pretty healthy too! Even a three and a half year holistic diet doesn't work for me... Worst part is the bullying. :( So many rude comments I hear almost every day! :'( Where's all the support when you need it? People think acne is something that happens to everyone and you can just live by it... But so much physical and emotional pain is growing more andmore everyday!! :'(

#9 eveaguilar

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Posted 29 October 2013 - 05:35 PM

I've had acne since 6th grade... I'm now a juniot and its only getting worster and worster.. Then people blame my health! :( I literally only ate fruits and vegetables and plenty of water for like 6 months and worked out a poop load.. :( What's going with my life?!?! :(

#10 emmygirl

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Posted 29 October 2013 - 09:08 PM

It really is just tough. I think I cry everyday and missing out on opportunities is always heartbreaking. Eveaguilar, you go hug your dog right now! haha Dogs are the best cure for acne ever, they don 't care that you have acne all they care about it getting love and affection. My husband told me something one day that really just resonated with me and I hope it will with you other acne sufferers. "Are you going to just give up and let acne defeat you or are you going to decide to kick acne in the balls and beat this thing?" I want to kick it so hard in balls it never comes back so I'm being super proactive about it. Going to the doctors (Even though I have no health insurance) talking about it to people who understand, thinking about how everything is going to be okay, using my medications faithfully, and eventually one way or another we will all kick this thing! (in the balls!!) Have a warrior attitude and you will defeat this enemy, but you can't turn yourself into the enemy or you will just end up defeating yourself. Hang in there guys and if you every feel low just get on acne.org and chat with those of us who get it. I posted this and still feel like nothing is getting better, but decided that if I don't change my attitude I'm just placing another zit on my face.



#11 eveaguilar

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Posted 30 October 2013 - 03:26 AM

Thank you! :) <33 You are so right! Let's kick acne in the balls!!!

#12 Ballen

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Posted 30 October 2013 - 08:00 AM

Thank you! smile.png <33 You are so right! Let's kick acne in the balls!!!

That will help with the reproduction..



#13 maria199

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Posted 30 October 2013 - 08:24 AM

What is killing me is this uncertainty.. will this medicine help me (again) or i am wasting my time? What dosage is the best now that i have lost so much weight? How many months of my life will be lost? What if i quit too early? I have to get out only twice/week (this is the required but usually it's more) but even this seems too much for me.. i just want to stay home until i heal.. The only living being i want to be with is my cat, but most of the time i can't. I want to plant some flowers but i feel that i make people see my skin, it's not the prettiest thing in the world.. why do i deserve to see these beautiful things? I try to be happy and think possitive but i can't when i am afraid to eat or feel guilty and anxious when i eat something that i think is bad for acne.. and i can't stop being afraid to sleep because the next morning there will probably be something new... and the frustration when i miss something and think that it's great, an acne-free day but then i examine my face closely and see or feel another one..



#14 emmygirl

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Posted 30 October 2013 - 08:44 AM

I totally feel you Maria 999, I am on 6 different treatments and have been for a month. I can't tell if I am just getting a horrible initial breakout or it is just making it worse
If someone told me today that my acne will clear in 6 months I would be okay because at least I would know. The uncertainty truly is the hardest part. I am also losing weight..15 Pounds in a month, normally I would be happy but it is starting to just bring that attention to my acne as the reason :(

#15 kamiller1972

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Posted 30 October 2013 - 08:53 AM

It really is just tough. I think I cry everyday and missing out on opportunities is always heartbreaking. Eveaguilar, you go hug your dog right now! haha Dogs are the best cure for acne ever, they don 't care that you have acne all they care about it getting love and affection. My husband told me something one day that really just resonated with me and I hope it will with you other acne sufferers. "Are you going to just give up and let acne defeat you or are you going to decide to kick acne in the balls and beat this thing?" I want to kick it so hard in balls it never comes back so I'm being super proactive about it. Going to the doctors (Even though I have no health insurance) talking about it to people who understand, thinking about how everything is going to be okay, using my medications faithfully, and eventually one way or another we will all kick this thing! (in the balls!!) Have a warrior attitude and you will defeat this enemy, but you can't turn yourself into the enemy or you will just end up defeating yourself. Hang in there guys and if you every feel low just get on acne.org and chat with those of us who get it. I posted this and still feel like nothing is getting better, but decided that if I don't change my attitude I'm just placing another zit on my face.

You go girl...I can relate so well with what you're going through.  YOU WILL kick this in the BALLS!!  You sound like you have a wonderful husband.  As a matter of fact, that is something my husband would say as well, lol.  You're doing fantastic...I think one of the best things to do is to talk to people who can relate.  That's what this community is for cool.png



#16 maria199

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Posted 30 October 2013 - 09:18 AM

I totally feel you Maria 999, I am on 6 different treatments and have been for a month. I can't tell if I am just getting a horrible initial breakout or it is just making it worse
If someone told me today that my acne will clear in 6 months I would be okay because at least I would know. The uncertainty truly is the hardest part. I am also losing weight..15 Pounds in a month, normally I would be happy but it is starting to just bring that attention to my acne as the reason sad.png

I lost 18 lbs in a month because i was afraid to eat but i believe that this has something to do with my lack of results, this is definitely affecting my hormones. I try to put some weight on but it is very difficult, i would gladly eat pizza for example which is full of calories but cheese is definitely a trigger. I feel there are so many possibilities and my skin will be totally ruined if i don't convince my derm to prescribe antibiotics for a few weeks. At least you have your husband, he seems to be very supportive. I hope your treatment will prove to be effective soon. I wish i can find the strength too, i am so easily disappointed as character and it only makes it worst.






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