I am new to this site and I have skimmed throughout some of the posts and threads. I see that everyone here has their not-so-fair share on acne like me. I think I did write a lot..I don't mind if you skim through it.
So, I'm a 17 year old guy, highschool graduate currently not in highschool for this semester. I have a part-time job that requires to actually talk to people face to face which bothers me sometimes, but not all the time. I work at the movie theaters! Very exciting job I know. But I try not to have my unclear face AND neck bother me.
It wasn't until one day I was working Box Office selling tickets that really put me in shame for my face. An old man, maybe in his 50's, walks up to my window and orders a ticket. I hand him his ticket and tell him to enjoy his show. He then tries to start small talk with me. No big deal in that, there is no one waiting in line behind him so I say to myself why not? He goes on about the movie he saw like last week, blah blah blah...I thought he was gonna run to his movie by now but then he asks me, "So do you like to popcorn here, did they change it anyway?" I answer, "Yeah, it's my favorite popcorn compared to other theaters!". He then says, "Yeah, I can tell you like it by your FACE." I was never so offended in my life. I had all these emotions running up to my face but I had to hold it in and smile.
I have had acne for about 4 years now, getting worse every year. I wash my face everyday and I never skip. I am very skeptical about proactiv and every medicated wash given to me from multiple dermatologists. I think if I use this and it works. Once I stop using it, it gets worse and that has happen to me before.
Girls do tell me I am very attractive, it's just my acne that holds me down. I have no confidence in myself. My friends invite me to go out to eat, party, hang out and I just turn them down every time. My face is just so embarrassing and gross. I just want to rip a celebrities' skin off and replace it with mine! ( I wouldn't do that...I JUST WANT CLEAR SKIN). I do break down and once in a while because i get so stressed on my face. How no one can relate to my face. I have friends that complain about ONE PIMPLE. JUST ONE FREAKING PIMPLE. They have the nerve to say that when I'm standing right next them. Are you kidding me? They should be thankful they don't look like me.
This upcoming weekend, I am attending my girlfriend's homecoming dance, she is 16 and lives about 2 hours away. We don't see each other very often. But I am very committed to her. It's been 8 months we've been together. I just wonder why she's with me and how she deals with how ugly my face is. Well she is very excited about me meeting her friends!....I'm not. Not because I just don't want to and I'm an asshole. Because of my face. I am so embarrassed for her friends to see me at my worst. I always try to prep my face before I go and see her. I just wish I had clear skin.
I'm sick of all the comments about my face. I'm sick of trying to make my face perfect. I'm sick of being me.
Thanks for reading. :/