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Feeling Hopeless & Alone

hopeless emotional acne vent

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#1 MadeOfFlaws

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Posted 21 September 2013 - 11:55 PM

Hi, I just joined this amazing community! For my first post, I just really wanted to vent and share my personal "long story short." I've suffered from acne for about 12 years now. When I was a teen, I thought it was just common to have acne because of puberty and it'll go away in a few years. Well, I was wrong. I had acne through high school, college, and up to today I still have it and it has gotten severe. I've literally tried everything from proactiv to clean & clear to Clinique and everything in between. Nothing worked for me, which makes me feel hopeless. Acne has made me emotionally damaged. I don't have any confidence whatsoever, which holds me back on numerous things, such as being social. I also feel alone because all of my friends and family have flawless skin. I hardly ever talk about acne with them because they wouldn't understand. I absolutely hate when people complain about one pimple. I just think to myself "if they hate how one pimple look, what do they think of my acne prone skin?" It just makes me feel terrible and the ugly duckling out of my friends/family. I'm always self-conscious if I do go out, I feel like people are staring at my acne. I cry a lot at night because of my acne and acne scars, but no one knows that (except for those who reads this). It's now to a point where it's hard to look at my bare skin in the mirror.

I've seen a few dermatologists and they tell me the obvious... My acne is bad. They recommended me some antibiotics, but they were the cheap kind so it really didn't do anything. Another huge problem for me is that I don't have health insurance, so I can't afford the medicine that the dermatologists recommends. They also told me to be on birth control, and I tried it this past summer. Which turned out bad, by the second day I went to the ER because of an allergic reaction. I'm still hesitant to try another BC because of what happened and I don't want to go through another expensive medical bill. It has been 12 tough years and I just feel absolutely hopeless. I don't even remember how my face looked like when it was clear, will I ever see it again? :/

I've spilled my heart out. If you've read this, thank you. It really means so much to me!! God bless xx

#2 nicmic62

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Posted 22 September 2013 - 03:03 AM

I think it's safe to say that almost everyone on the boards has been in the same situation. There are time when we get frustrated because our skin just doesn't respond to treatment like we hope it would. 

 

I think the most important thing to remember is that you should surround yourself with family and friends that love you and see past the acne. Also, you can find a lot of support on the boards if you ever need to talk to people in the same situation as you. 


Morning Routine:
- CLEANSER: Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser/Acne.org Cleanser
- BENZOYL PEROXIDE : 1 pump of The Acne.org 2.5%
- MOISTURIZER: CeraVe Moisturizing Lotion + Neutrogena Moisture with SPF 15 + 5-6 drops of Acne.org Jojoba Oil
 
Evening Routine:
- CLEANSER: Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser/Acne.org Cleanser
- BENZOYL PEROXIDE : 1 pump of The Acne.org 2.5%
- MOISTURIZER: Cetaphil Moilturizing Cream + Acne.org AHA + 5-6 drops of Acne.org Jojoba Oil
 
Extras:
- Concealer: MAC Studio Finish Concealer in C25 (for redness)
- Pressed Powder: MAC Select Sheer in NC20 (for mattefying)
- Foundation: Revlon Colorstay for Oily/Combination Skin in Buff (for even skin tone)
- Scrub: St. Ives Apricot Scrub Blemish and Blackhead Control (twice a week in the AM)
- Medication: Diane 35
                     Meftormin 500mg (for PCOS)
- Supplements: Vitamin D3 (1000UI/day) --- Started 5/16/2013
                         Zinc (50mg/day) --- Started 5/16/2013
 
And this is all done as gently as possible. smile.png
 
This is my Regimen journey. --- http://www.acne.org/...gimenwith-pics/

 

Ordering Acne.org Products from the Philippines. --- http://www.acne.org/...he-philippines/


#3 andrew1997

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Posted 22 September 2013 - 03:52 AM

Obviously your not feeling hopeless and you are not alone. You made a good decision to share with us a little about yourself. I don't personally know you. I just thought it was a great idea to tell you about myself.

 

I am a teenager, currently fifteen years old. For the past two years I have been suffering from major depression and anxiety. I can't even look at a reflection or photo of myself. I don't get any comments or bullying about the way I look from others. I hide inside and on my computer most of my days, I'm living in a virtual world. I have been suggested I probably have psychosis and body dysmorphic disorder. I can't really give a word for the way I'm living and thinking. When I was younger I was appointed with anger management, they suggested I had bipolar.

 

A little bit more about myself is that I have always had trouble with reading, writing, literacy and communication. I would in class have a assistant teacher supporting me with my school work and so on. I have a lot of anger issues, but now I am more relaxed and not prone to anger that easily as before. I never physically hurt someone before.

 

In year six of primary school in Australia I noticed a major change in my body. My skin felt more sensitive or just different and then I increasingly became more un-comfortable physically. I had a compulsive behaviour to keep my skin on my face clean and fresh. If I had ever hurt myself anywhere on my body I would scratch, pick and irritate the area that is infected. I am a picker and touch-er.

 

Starting high school, I already gathered acne on my skin and face. It wasn't much of a concern to me then, I just thought that this is just one of those stages in life. I loved soccer, running, sports, friends and girls. All of my concerns were avoided.

 

A year later, I hoped that all my problems would of faded away. I was disappointed and started to feel less and less confident. Then there was a moment where I had been injured and couldn't continue any sports for a few months. Then forcefully anxiety and depression came to me. I stopped going to school, going outside and socializing with people face-to-face. I hid inside feeling and thinking I was just ugly. I did have some hope, I've taken what my GP has prescribed to me for my skin and it just didn't work. My loving mother got me appointment with the Dermatology Institute of Victoria and they prescribed me Accutane, I've taken it for about 12 months and I recently I have been officially off them.

 

My question is.. Have you ever been prescribed Accutane? How long and when have you taken it? If not.. Have you ever discussed about Accutane to anyone? Is there a reason why you can't take Accutane?

 

 

 


Ask me anonymous questions here.

Cleanser:

     Propaira Acne Prone Skin: Foaming Cleansing Gel

Facial Moisturiser:

     Propaira Acne Prone Skin: Purifying Cream

Benzoyl Peroxide:

     Epiduo 0.1% / 2.5% Gel

Sunscreen:

     LA ROCHE-POSAY Anthelios XL ~ 50+ SPF UVB+UVA (Spray)

Supplements:

     Swisse ZINC+

 


#4 hope27

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Posted 22 September 2013 - 12:28 PM

I cry also at night sometimes.. tried so many things .. I feel ur pain on allergic reaction on medications. im allergic to antibiotics. still remember the first derm. I went to see I was so exited I thought I was going to cure my acne. instead I got an allergic reaction to tetracycline . then I ended u being allergic to 2 more medications.

why me I said ..  and here I am 27 almost 28 and still dealing with acne. when will it stop. my birth day is next moth and all I wish for is clear skin..

that's all I have been wishing for since I started getting acne.. so here I am still hoping there is a light in the end of the tunnel.... hoping they might come up with a new drug or medication that can save us all..  something better than Accutane.. with no side effects ..   we have to have hope I guess.. 

wish you luck in finding something that works ..



#5 Katsuya

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Posted 22 September 2013 - 10:10 PM

I know exactly how you feel. I look around and it seems like everyone has clear skin except me. I often cry a lot, and i think "why is it just me?" My acne is my absolute biggest insecurity. I don't leave the house without a bunch of concealer and foundation on. But it doesn't make me feel much better. I feel like people think i'm a cake face and my acne is still noticeable through all the makeup. Plus i am constantly checking the mirror to check if my makeup is smudged or coming off, then when i look in the mirror i just feel depressed, wishing i didn't have to wear any makeup at all. I would literally do anything to make it go away. If i had one wish, i wouldn't wish for millions of dollars, or a nice car, all i want is clear skin. But it seems like that won't be happening anytime soon.

#6 frenchie86

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Posted 23 September 2013 - 12:44 PM

Hi you are not alone :-)
I also feel terribly depressed, hopeless and embarrassed by my acne.
I cry everyday. I also feel sad that everyone around me has amazing skin and they don't understand when I try to explain how bad acne is making me feel...
I go to work then go home and don't socialise anymore except to see my boyfriend but that's heartbreaking in itself because I'm so ashamed he sees my bad skin.
I've tried topical creams, antibiotics, diet changes etc nothing has helped so far.
I've started bc a week ago (dianette) and my acne has gotten so much worse. It's so hard but I'm hoping and praying its just getting worse before it gets better (one can only hope!).
Have you tried Accutane?
Again you are not alone, so I hope you find even a little comfort in that. Hugs!

#7 damnitwhy166

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Posted 30 September 2013 - 06:56 AM

Oh, I can definitely understand how all of you feel. I have acne during my 2nd and 3rd year high school, and when they started disappearing during my 4rth year high school, I has actually deluded myself into believing that it was all over. Then they started reappearing during 1st year college and my life just became...a wreck. I skipped my classes because i couldnt let my classmates see me like this, considering they were always convinced i was pretty. And if i go back in with my stupid acne, theyd probably shudder and wince. I tried to convince myself that I was so much more than my acne, but its so hard. I couldnt go out, I got depressed, i searched all over the net for cures, i even prayed hard...so far, nothing worked. Its all just...hopeless. i feel so ashamed of myself. Its like there is something wrong with me. Add that to the fact that i am living with a gorgeous cousin with flawless skin...i sometimes feel like decking a phantom of the opera costume when we go out together. Its crazy.

#8 fatalbert911

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Posted 02 October 2013 - 02:56 AM

My high school years were a nightmare every year I miss weeks from class.

Only reason I have my diploma today is because I spent 3 years in a row going to summer school.

I didn't go to that in my freshmen year because for that whole year i was in alternative school lol. It was because of something I did at the end of middle school.

Ironically I feel I had the best experience in ninth grade then the three years in regular hs. I felt more comfortable in alternative school with all the misfits. I guess because they didn't have that bs student political atmosphere that regular hs always seem to have.

They were no stereotype groups, only trouble makers. Some of the guys had been to July but At the time with my skin the way it was & because the way I felt. I'd say I blended in well.

When I returned to the regular hs. I felt so out of place most of the time I was there. Sometimes I even wanted to go back. The alternative school had only a hand full of students so I dint feel nearly as pressured

Edited by fatalbert911, 02 October 2013 - 03:00 AM.


#9 AlexanderJ86

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Posted 02 October 2013 - 05:25 AM

You are all very sweet people with a minor skin condition. Don't you ever forget that.



You are all very sweet people with a minor skin condition. Don't you ever forget that.