My Story + Acne Sucks But It Has Made Me A Better Person!
Posted 15 September 2013 - 05:06 AM
It's a grey and lonely morning where I am in London and I'm feeling pretty low about my acne today so I thought I'd write here about something positive that acne has brought to my life. I hope this will make at least one person's day better somehow.
First a bit about me, I'm 26, female and although I'd get the odd cystic pimple before my period was due I never suffered from proper acne until a few months ago.
I had an eating disorder start in January and my period stopped, I then started having acne, it's gotten pretty bad now and has left me feel terrible depressed, anxious, frustrated and isolated.
Some days are better than others but today is bad, my skin looks awful.
I've tried tetracycline (didn't really help), I'm now on doxycycline which doesn't really seem to help either apart from making the cysts slightly smaller. I use Differin gel nightly too. I don't know whether any of the medication I use really is helping but I'm feeling so down over my acne, it's been terribly hard.
My acne is most probably hormonal as I have hair on my face too and very oily skin (I never used to) and I'm having a scan in 2 weeks to determine whether I have PCOS or anything wrong with my ovaries which is causing this. I am hoping to start taking Dianette after this scan and that it'll help my condition.
I'm taking antidepressants because of the distress acne is causing me and my life is a living nightmare, I feel no one understands what I'm going through so I avoid socialising which really sucks as I miss my friends. I have a boyfriend who I deeply love but seeing him makes me feel extremely self conscious and I'm terrified my condition or lack of self esteem will cost me my relationship. He has known me for years and I used to have perfect skin. He has psoriasis quite bad which is some comfort to me but it doesn't affect his face like acne affects mine.
I nearly lost my job over this as I would get so anxious and depressed I couldn't face going out, thankfully I've snapped out of that and realised the last thing I need on top of everything is having no money and not being able to pay my rent and be independent.
So yeah, acne really sucks and it's ruling/ruining my life but despite all this, one major positive has come from it which is like to share with you.
Before getting acne I was quite a self obsessed, vain and sometimes shallow person who'd make fun of people's appearance with my friends (I'm not proud of it), I would also pretty much rely on my looks to get guys and people in general to like me, this might be why this predicament is hitting me double hard.
I was also quite moody and inconsiderate at times, again very self centred.
Since getting acne, I've realised that there's more to me than what I look like and it's made me have to focus on other things I had to offer people, like kindness, respect, consideration and love.
I feel I'm a much better person for it and I feel people probably love me more for it.
I feel very little helps lift my mood or boost my self esteem but this thought is comforting. I find comfort in being kind and helpful, working extra hard at my job, being extra loving to my family, boyfriend and friend and have decided to volunteer for the Samaritans.
I was wondering if any of you felt the same or found any positives in living with acne.
Also, I would love to have a "pen pal", someone I could email daily just to chat about life and support and get their support back! I don't know anyone with acne!
Posted 15 September 2013 - 06:45 AM
Posted 23 October 2013 - 05:50 AM
I had been depressed for the whole week just because I realized that those huge ugly grey pores scattered all over my nose and cheeks are not really going away despite different regimens I tried.
I started feeling unattractive and totally gross.
You know what helped? Confiding In people. It's not just anyone, but I chose the dearest person (to whom it will be the hardest to tell about what I'm going through). So I told my boyfriend that my real skin was a mess, and that he had never seen me without makeup. He told me that hey why are you even thinking so much about it? Don't stress too much, and just lead a healthy lifestyle, and be happy, that's much more important. Small things like that don't define us! And people look at you as a whole! not just some pimples on the face!
On a more serious note, don't be depressed about it! I can assure you that acne can never hide wonderful people's personality!
Posted 23 October 2013 - 06:48 PM
I would LOVE to be your penpal! I am also 26 and usually have fairly clear skin but up until about the end of August my face has exploded and I can't seem to catch a break. I talk to my husband about it daily, I cry a lot and am also on anti-depressants. I feel like we are kind of in the same boat, and I find myself fighting the urge to go to work or not (I always go because I don't ever want to risk my job, but I'm always struggling all day hoping my hair can hide this massive breakout I just got of like4-5 red inflamed cysts on my lower left chin/cheek. I have been really struggling and been on a birth control for three weeks which has honestly only made things worse. I also just got some topicals from my doctor that I will start tonight. I would love someone to talk to on a daily or weekly basis about struggles, success even just life issues in general. Please feel free to email me anytime! Personal message me and I will give you my email if you still want a buddy to chat with Thanks for your post, I also agree that acne has made me compassionate and grateful.
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