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I'm Not Worthy Of Being In A Relationship?

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During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne. I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships. For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one. And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people. I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires. Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:

You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time. But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility. Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.

Do you pursue this relationship?

Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right? Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.' I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor. I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not. I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive. Maybe I'm too proud. Perhaps I'm too superficial. I don't know. But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not. It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better. Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship. Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself. Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy. In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.

Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.

I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

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During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne. I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships. For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one. And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people. I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires. Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:

You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time. But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility. Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.

Do you pursue this relationship?

Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right? Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.' I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor. I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not. I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive. Maybe I'm too proud. Perhaps I'm too superficial. I don't know. But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not. It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better. Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship. Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself. Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy. In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.

Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.

I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

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During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne. I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships. For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one. And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people. I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires. Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:

You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time. But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility. Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.

Do you pursue this relationship?

Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right? Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.' I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor. I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not. I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive. Maybe I'm too proud. Perhaps I'm too superficial. I don't know. But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not. It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better. Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship. Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself. Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy. In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.

Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.

I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

I have an advice: please go to a doctor with these ideas.

be confident guys x


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I understand this problem very well. It's an issue that stems from poor self-esteem, in this case, induced by acne. It's not that our acne bother others, but more that we're projecting our own disapproval and disgust (In a lot of cases) onto other people. The problem is when you actually find someone who responds negatively to your acne, because that in-turn will allow you to generalize and justify your notions about societies perspective on acne, which isn't entirely true.

To be honest, if I was met with that same scenario, I wouldn't pursue that relationship either (unless the person was relentless. Though highly unlikely) because "I don't accept myself the way I am, so how could anyone else?", is what I'd be thinking. Couple that with the unpredictable nature of acne and you have enough reason to say it's not worth it and reject the possibility that you could find happiness from this relationship.

The problem is, even when acne gives you a break, there's always that shadow of doubt in your mind "When will it return? when?". Which is sure to cause your mental distress in the long run. As opposed to your crush/potential partner, whom I assume would have consistently clear skin and wouldn't even factor skin problems into their thoughts. And when your faults are on your face, on display for the world to see, who can blame you for feeling the way you do. What I want to know is, why the fuck does acne have to be on your face?!?. There is no hiding it and the damage is so extensive in some cases, it takes half a decade to correct the problems it caused.

Let me tell you something though. As a person, you are no better or worse than anyone else on this planet. You need to find your redeeming qualities and play to your strengths. Even if you don't believe you have any, just having the courage and determination to decide to get up and learn something, is the first step to becoming a better person and increasing your self-esteem and confidence.

Of course, I'm just an entity responding to you based on information gathered from the vast internet. I don't really exist. (Notsrs). There's a person behind this screen, who's has been/is going through what you're going through and I promise that if you decide to walk the path of self-improvement, in time you'll look back and wonder why, or better how you could have been the way you were.

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"Long hair makes a good looking man, beautiful and an ugly man fierce"


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During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne. I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships. For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one. And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people. I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires. Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:

You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time. But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility. Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.

Do you pursue this relationship?

Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right? Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.' I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor. I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not. I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive. Maybe I'm too proud. Perhaps I'm too superficial. I don't know. But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not. It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better. Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship. Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself. Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy. In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.

Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.

I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

I have an advice: please go to a doctor with these ideas.

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During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne. I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships. For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one. And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people. I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires. Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:

You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time. But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility. Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.

Do you pursue this relationship?

Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right? Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.' I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor. I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not. I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive. Maybe I'm too proud. Perhaps I'm too superficial. I don't know. But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not. It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better. Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship. Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself. Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy. In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.

Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.

I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

I have an advice: please go to a doctor with these ideas.

Slightly harsh? Acne affects people in different ways...


be confident guys x


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During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne. I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships. For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one. And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people. I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires. Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:

You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time. But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility. Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.

Do you pursue this relationship?

Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right? Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.' I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor. I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not. I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive. Maybe I'm too proud. Perhaps I'm too superficial. I don't know. But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not. It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better. Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship. Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself. Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy. In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.

Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.

I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

I have an advice: please go to a doctor with these ideas.

Slightly harsh? Acne affects people in different ways...

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During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne. I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships. For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one. And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people. I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires. Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:

You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time. But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility. Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.

Do you pursue this relationship?

Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right? Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.' I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor. I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not. I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive. Maybe I'm too proud. Perhaps I'm too superficial. I don't know. But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not. It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better. Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship. Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself. Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy. In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.

Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.

I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

I have an advice: please go to a doctor with these ideas.

Slightly harsh? Acne affects people in different ways...

What is harsh about my post? I am trying to help him.

be confident guys x


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During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne. I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships. For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one. And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people. I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires. Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:

You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time. But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility. Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.

Do you pursue this relationship?

Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right? Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.' I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor. I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not. I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive. Maybe I'm too proud. Perhaps I'm too superficial. I don't know. But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not. It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better. Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship. Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself. Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy. In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.

Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.

I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

I have an advice: please go to a doctor with these ideas.

Slightly harsh? Acne affects people in different ways...

What is harsh about my post? I am trying to help him.

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During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne. I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships. For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one. And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people. I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires. Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:

You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time. But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility. Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.

Do you pursue this relationship?

Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right? Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.' I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor. I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not. I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive. Maybe I'm too proud. Perhaps I'm too superficial. I don't know. But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not. It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better. Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship. Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself. Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy. In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.

Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.

I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

I have an advice: please go to a doctor with these ideas.

Slightly harsh? Acne affects people in different ways...

What is harsh about my post? I am trying to help him.

Oh don't act all innocent... You meant it in a nasty way. Does it make you feel big trying to act clever?


be confident guys x


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During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne. I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships. For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one. And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people. I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires. Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:

You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time. But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility. Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.

Do you pursue this relationship?

Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right? Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.' I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor. I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not. I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive. Maybe I'm too proud. Perhaps I'm too superficial. I don't know. But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not. It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better. Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship. Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself. Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy. In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.

Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.

I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

I have an advice: please go to a doctor with these ideas.

Slightly harsh? Acne affects people in different ways...

What is harsh about my post? I am trying to help him.

Oh don't act all innocent... You meant it in a nasty way. Does it make you feel big trying to act clever?

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“We cannot think of being acceptable to others until we have first proven acceptable to ourselves.”

If you are content not being in a relationship there is nothing wrong with that. If that is the way you would prefer to live out your life, then you should do that. But if it's not then you should realize that if someone is taking time from their day to show an interest in you, then they must think you are not a waste of time. Maybe you really are unattractive by today's standards, but that doesn't mean you're not worthy of a relationship with someone.

Also, everyone arguing amongst themselves on the page, just stop. It's not helping anything.

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During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne. I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships. For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one. And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people. I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires. Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:

You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time. But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility. Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.

Do you pursue this relationship?

Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right? Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.' I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor. I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not. I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive. Maybe I'm too proud. Perhaps I'm too superficial. I don't know. But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not. It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better. Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship. Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself. Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy. In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.

Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.

I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

I have an advice: please go to a doctor with these ideas.

Slightly harsh? Acne affects people in different ways...

What is harsh about my post? I am trying to help him.

Oh don't act all innocent... You meant it in a nasty way. Does it make you feel big trying to act clever?

How do you know? Do you have the ability to read minds?


be confident guys x


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This is just a "you did! / I didn't!" discussion, which is very infantile. I am going to be the mature person here and I will not respond anymore.

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During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne. I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships. For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one. And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people. I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires. Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:

You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time. But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility. Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.

Do you pursue this relationship?

Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right? Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.' I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor. I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not. I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive. Maybe I'm too proud. Perhaps I'm too superficial. I don't know. But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not. It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better. Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship. Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself. Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy. In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.

Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.

I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

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You should relax mate. Acne is a unpleasant thing to deal with but it does not sum you all up. There is more to life than acne and physical appearance. Look around, no one cares about you having acne THAT much. Im pretty sure people don't walk past you and say "omg he has acne, let's think he's inadequate for living". You have the wrong idea of life. But still, it's all understandable. So if you are incapable of looking past this, go compensate by going gym and building up some muscle. It will make you feel better. Self fulfillment comes first. Relationships and all that is irrelevant until then.

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During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne. I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships. For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one. And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people. I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires. Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:

You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time. But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility. Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.

Do you pursue this relationship?

Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right? Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.' I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor. I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not. I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive. Maybe I'm too proud. Perhaps I'm too superficial. I don't know. But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not. It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better. Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship. Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself. Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy. In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.

Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.

I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

UnacceptedRealist, I agree with you that acne does not make someone unattractive, but it can make an impact on how you think of yourself. If you've suffered with severe acne, it can make you feel like you are less attractive even if you aren't. Acne can't change your bone structure or your eye color or anything like that. I'm sure you are more attractive than you think you are. You should try and pay attention to other things about yourself than your acne. I used to feel the exact same way about people that liked me, I would always wonder "what is so special about me, I have acne, why would they possibly like me?" But, you have to realize people don't just like others for their faces. You may have an incredible personality, a cute face, and some acne can't change that.

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Current Treatment:

AM: Cetaphil gentle cleanser

PM: Cetaphil gentle cleanser

100mg Doxycycline

Tretinoin/Retin-A 0.05% cream

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As mentioned above, this is all due to your self-esteem issues. There is no such thing as objectivity in human behaviour, but I know what you mean; people would scale her higher on the attractive chart than they would you. Okay, even so, the fact that she's into you suggests that you have some sort of attractiveness to her that outweighs your acne. She was able to look past your acne and look at your qualities. These are the kinds of people you want in your life.

If she's into you that's all that should matter, its between you and her; not you, her and the rest of the world.

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During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne. I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships. For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one. And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people. I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires. Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:

You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time. But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility. Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.

Do you pursue this relationship?

Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right? Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.' I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor. I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not. I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive. Maybe I'm too proud. Perhaps I'm too superficial. I don't know. But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not. It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better. Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship. Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself. Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy. In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.

Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.

I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

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During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne. I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships. For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one. And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people. I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires. Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:

You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time. But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility. Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.

Do you pursue this relationship?

Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right? Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.' I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor. I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not. I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive. Maybe I'm too proud. Perhaps I'm too superficial. I don't know. But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not. It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better. Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship. Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself. Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy. In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.

Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.

I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

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There's two main issues in the OP that I'd like to address.

1) Feeling other people deserve better.

You do not control other people and their desires and wishes, and thus are not responsible for those desires or wishes and any consequences which result from them there-on-in. You do not decide who finds you attractive and not. Your own opinion of your appearance is not the only opinion of your appearance possible. In the hypothetical situation the other person has a definite interest in you. Rejecting them because you've decided what is and is not 'good for them' in relation to 'society's' opinion of you is ludicrous. You do not control their opinion. You do not control general public opinion. Your only gauge of what their opinion is is if they tell you, and even then, it's not up to you to try to alter or deter that opinion. People are responsible for their own lives. Having these feelings of responsibility for others is not helpful unless they are your children or other dependants.

2) Feeling you're not worthy in and of yourself.

You are a person with psychological, emotional and physical aspects. The body is a tool. Yes, we might complain about this tool and have the right to do so because it is ours - for example, one with crayons may envy someone with pencils. We are allowed to have our own opinion about ourselves; it is conductive to life. However, one can create a masterpiece with crayons if they posses enough skill. Who you are is carried about by your body, it is not, in fact, the other way around. 'You do not have a soul, you ARE a soul. You have a body'. There are not many things in life we can control, but our perceptions of the reality surrounding us is fortunately one of those rare few elements. Happiness is a choice we make, unless there are underlying biological issues which tamper with our physiological structures and affect our psyches. One can choose to be happy with or without clear skin.

We can't control the world. We can't control other people. We can't always control what happens to us. But we can control who we are, what we make of what we are given, how we think.

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Currently clear of acne with the occasional hormonal breakout. Check out my routines and progress updates here:
http://www.acne.org/...g-and-duac-gel/

Treat yourself as you treat others.


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If you can't love yourself, how the heeeellllllllllll you gon' love somebody else!


How I Stay Clear:
AM: Cetaphil DermaControl Oil Control Foam Wash, Cetaphil Moisturising Lotion, Cetaphil DermaControl Oil-Absorbing Lotion (SPF30)
PM: Cetaphil DermaControl Oil Control Foam Wash, Tactuo (Epiduo), MUAC 10% Mandelic Acid Serum
Extras: Diane 35 (since July 2 2013), Borghese Fango Delicato Mud Mask (2x/week), 25% Mandelic Acid Peel (2x/week)


My personal log here:


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Hi, UnacceptedRealist

I have exactly the same problem right now- a nice, cool, good-looking guy has expressed (and continues to express) interest in me and I am unable to reciprocate because of my poor self esteem. I am aware that this is completely irrational of course! I also doubt that I would ever be able to function well in a relationship because of my self-consciousness.

The worst part is that I have no idea how to explain this to him without sounding like a maniac and/or hurting his feelings ...

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I appreciate all the thoughtful replies, guys. And I partially agree with the consensus; specifically, I do think that my self-esteem is 'low' (or at least lower than usual...), but I don't think I suffer from a "self-esteem issue." I guess it depends on your definition of an 'issue', but, in my opinion, my self-esteem -- or lack thereof -- is appropriate. It's the acne, and the other of acne-related ailments, that are the issue. And in my case, many of those issues aren't going anywhere (I mean, realistically speaking, my acne scarring is fairly permanent).

Moreover, I really don't see how it's possible to be 'happy', or 'accept' myself, because I don't like the way I look. And I don't believe this is an inherently irrational concept. I mean, I'll be honest: I wouldn't be attracted to someone if they looked like I do. It's really that simple. I just don't change my standards for myself.

So, I guess my situation is entirely internal; I only have myself to blame and I'm content with that.

Also, to clarify:

My "hypothetical scenario" was, actually, hypothetical. No one has ever 'liked' me and, quite frankly, I don't blame them -- I mean, I don't even like myself...

I guess I'm just weird.

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Hi UnacceptedRealist:

Sorry if I misinterpreted what you were trying to say. In terms of feeling like you don't have an "issue" because your poor self self-esteem reflects reality - I sometimes feel that way too; like I'm just able to see how objectively depressing my situation is. Then again, I think most normal people over-evaluate their looks. We need coping mechanisms to unrealistically boost our sense of self-worth, otherwise we wouldn't be able to function on a day-to-day basis. So I guess I would characterize my poor self-esteem as rational but not normal, if that makes sense.

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