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I'm Not Worthy Of Being In A Relationship?


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#1 UnacceptedRealist

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Posted 15 September 2013 - 01:49 AM

During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne.  I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships.  For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one.  And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people.  I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires.  Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:

 

You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time.  But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility.  Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.

 

Do you pursue this relationship?

 

Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right?  Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.'  I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor.  I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not.  I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive.  Maybe I'm too proud.  Perhaps I'm too superficial.  I don't know.  But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not.  It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better.  Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship.  Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself.  Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy.  In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.

 

Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.

 

I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.



#2 AlexanderJ86

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Posted 15 September 2013 - 02:05 AM

During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne.  I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships.  For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one.  And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people.  I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires.  Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:

 

You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time.  But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility.  Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.

 

Do you pursue this relationship?

 

Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right?  Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.'  I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor.  I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not.  I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive.  Maybe I'm too proud.  Perhaps I'm too superficial.  I don't know.  But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not.  It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better.  Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship.  Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself.  Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy.  In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.

 

Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.

 

I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

I have an advice: please go to a doctor with these ideas.



#3 Clear My Skin

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Posted 15 September 2013 - 02:41 AM

During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne.  I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships.  For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one.  And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people.  I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires.  Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:
 
You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time.  But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility.  Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.
 
Do you pursue this relationship?
 
Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right?  Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.'  I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor.  I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not.  I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive.  Maybe I'm too proud.  Perhaps I'm too superficial.  I don't know.  But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not.  It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better.  Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship.  Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself.  Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy.  In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.
 
Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.
 
I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

I have an advice: please go to a doctor with these ideas.

Slightly harsh? Acne affects people in different ways...

I am currently taking 2 x 250mg oxytetracycline tablets twice per day and at night apply Duac Once Daily Gel. Both of these have been prescribed by my doctor.


#4 Lee1234

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Posted 15 September 2013 - 04:14 AM

I understand this problem very well. It's an issue that stems from poor self-esteem, in this case, induced by acne. It's not that our acne bother others, but more that we're projecting our own disapproval and disgust (In a lot of cases) onto other people. The problem is when you actually find someone who responds negatively to your acne, because that in-turn will allow you to generalize and justify your notions about societies perspective on acne, which isn't entirely true.

 

To be honest, if I was met with that same scenario, I wouldn't pursue that relationship either (unless the person was relentless. Though highly unlikely) because "I don't accept myself the way I am, so how could anyone else?", is what I'd be thinking. Couple that with the unpredictable nature of acne and you have enough reason to say it's not worth it and reject the possibility that you could find happiness from this relationship.

 

The problem is, even when acne gives you a break, there's always that shadow of doubt in your mind "When will it return? when?". Which is sure to cause your mental distress in the long run. As opposed to your crush/potential partner, whom I assume would have consistently clear skin and wouldn't even factor skin problems into their thoughts. And when your faults are on your face, on display for the world to see, who can blame you for feeling the way you do. What I want to know is, why the fuck does acne have to be on your face?!?. There is no hiding it and the damage is so extensive in some cases, it takes half a decade to correct the problems it caused.

 

Let me tell you something though. As a person, you are no better or worse than anyone else on this planet. You need to find your redeeming qualities and play to your strengths. Even if you don't believe you have any, just having the courage and determination to decide to get up and learn something, is the first step to becoming a better person and increasing your self-esteem and confidence.

 

Of course, I'm just an entity responding to you based on information gathered from the vast internet. I don't really exist. (Notsrs). There's a person behind this screen, who's has been/is going through what you're going through and I promise that if you decide to walk the path of self-improvement, in time you'll look back and wonder why, or better how you could have been the way you were.


"Long hair makes a good looking man, beautiful and an ugly man fierce"


#5 AlexanderJ86

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Posted 15 September 2013 - 04:58 AM

 

During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne.  I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships.  For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one.  And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people.  I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires.  Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:
 
You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time.  But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility.  Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.
 
Do you pursue this relationship?
 
Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right?  Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.'  I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor.  I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not.  I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive.  Maybe I'm too proud.  Perhaps I'm too superficial.  I don't know.  But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not.  It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better.  Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship.  Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself.  Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy.  In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.
 
Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.
 
I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

I have an advice: please go to a doctor with these ideas.

Slightly harsh? Acne affects people in different ways...

What is harsh about my post? I am trying to help him.



#6 Clear My Skin

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Posted 15 September 2013 - 06:39 AM


 


During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne.  I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships.  For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one.  And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people.  I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires.  Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:
 You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time.  But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility.  Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.
 Do you pursue this relationship?
 
Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right?  Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.'  I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor.  I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not.  I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive.  Maybe I'm too proud.  Perhaps I'm too superficial.  I don't know.  But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not.  It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better.  Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship.  Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself.  Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy.  In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.
 
Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.
 
I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

I have an advice: please go to a doctor with these ideas.

Slightly harsh? Acne affects people in different ways...
What is harsh about my post? I am trying to help him.

Oh don't act all innocent... You meant it in a nasty way. Does it make you feel big trying to act clever?

I am currently taking 2 x 250mg oxytetracycline tablets twice per day and at night apply Duac Once Daily Gel. Both of these have been prescribed by my doctor.


#7 AlexanderJ86

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Posted 15 September 2013 - 07:09 AM

 

 


 


During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne.  I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships.  For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one.  And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people.  I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires.  Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:
 You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time.  But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility.  Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.
 Do you pursue this relationship?
 
Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right?  Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.'  I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor.  I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not.  I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive.  Maybe I'm too proud.  Perhaps I'm too superficial.  I don't know.  But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not.  It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better.  Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship.  Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself.  Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy.  In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.
 
Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.
 
I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

I have an advice: please go to a doctor with these ideas.

Slightly harsh? Acne affects people in different ways...
What is harsh about my post? I am trying to help him.

Oh don't act all innocent... You meant it in a nasty way. Does it make you feel big trying to act clever?

How do you know? Do you have the ability to read minds?



#8 Clear My Skin

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Posted 15 September 2013 - 07:13 AM

 

 

 


 


During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne.  I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships.  For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one.  And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people.  I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires.  Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:
 You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time.  But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility.  Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.
 Do you pursue this relationship?
 
Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right?  Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.'  I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor.  I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not.  I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive.  Maybe I'm too proud.  Perhaps I'm too superficial.  I don't know.  But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not.  It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better.  Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship.  Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself.  Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy.  In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.
 
Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.
 
I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

I have an advice: please go to a doctor with these ideas.

Slightly harsh? Acne affects people in different ways...
What is harsh about my post? I am trying to help him.

Oh don't act all innocent... You meant it in a nasty way. Does it make you feel big trying to act clever?

How do you know? Do you have the ability to read minds?

The topic author wrote at the end of his post "I'd love to hear any ADVICE" you have. You replied "I have advice", and from what I can depict you meant it in a mimicy way. Saying "go see a doctor" to someone is often associated with physiological issues and by the mimicy way you said "I have advice", one can depict that you meant this as an intentional jokey insult.


I am currently taking 2 x 250mg oxytetracycline tablets twice per day and at night apply Duac Once Daily Gel. Both of these have been prescribed by my doctor.


#9 AlexanderJ86

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Posted 15 September 2013 - 07:20 AM

 

 

 

 


 


During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne.  I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships.  For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one.  And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people.  I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires.  Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:
 You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time.  But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility.  Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.
 Do you pursue this relationship?
 
Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right?  Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.'  I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor.  I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not.  I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive.  Maybe I'm too proud.  Perhaps I'm too superficial.  I don't know.  But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not.  It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better.  Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship.  Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself.  Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy.  In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.
 
Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.
 
I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

I have an advice: please go to a doctor with these ideas.

Slightly harsh? Acne affects people in different ways...
What is harsh about my post? I am trying to help him.

Oh don't act all innocent... You meant it in a nasty way. Does it make you feel big trying to act clever?

How do you know? Do you have the ability to read minds?

The topic author wrote at the end of his post "I'd love to hear any ADVICE" you have. You replied "I have advice", and from what I can depict you meant it in a mimicy way. Saying "go see a doctor" to someone is often associated with physiological issues and by the mimicy way you said "I have advice", one can depict that you meant this as an intentional jokey insult.

You depict it wrong.



#10 Clear My Skin

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Posted 15 September 2013 - 07:21 AM

 

 

 

 

 


 


During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne.  I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships.  For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one.  And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people.  I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires.  Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:
 You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time.  But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility.  Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.
 Do you pursue this relationship?
 
Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right?  Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.'  I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor.  I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not.  I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive.  Maybe I'm too proud.  Perhaps I'm too superficial.  I don't know.  But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not.  It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better.  Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship.  Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself.  Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy.  In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.
 
Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.
 
I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

I have an advice: please go to a doctor with these ideas.

Slightly harsh? Acne affects people in different ways...
What is harsh about my post? I am trying to help him.

Oh don't act all innocent... You meant it in a nasty way. Does it make you feel big trying to act clever?

How do you know? Do you have the ability to read minds?

The topic author wrote at the end of his post "I'd love to hear any ADVICE" you have. You replied "I have advice", and from what I can depict you meant it in a mimicy way. Saying "go see a doctor" to someone is often associated with physiological issues and by the mimicy way you said "I have advice", one can depict that you meant this as an intentional jokey insult.

You depict it wrong.

A bit lost for words? Someone hold my moisturiser, I'm ready for round two.


I am currently taking 2 x 250mg oxytetracycline tablets twice per day and at night apply Duac Once Daily Gel. Both of these have been prescribed by my doctor.


#11 AlexanderJ86

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Posted 15 September 2013 - 07:30 AM

 

 

 

 

 

 


 


During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne.  I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships.  For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one.  And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people.  I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires.  Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:
 You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time.  But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility.  Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.
 Do you pursue this relationship?
 
Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right?  Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.'  I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor.  I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not.  I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive.  Maybe I'm too proud.  Perhaps I'm too superficial.  I don't know.  But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not.  It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better.  Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship.  Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself.  Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy.  In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.
 
Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.
 
I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

I have an advice: please go to a doctor with these ideas.

Slightly harsh? Acne affects people in different ways...
What is harsh about my post? I am trying to help him.

Oh don't act all innocent... You meant it in a nasty way. Does it make you feel big trying to act clever?

How do you know? Do you have the ability to read minds?

The topic author wrote at the end of his post "I'd love to hear any ADVICE" you have. You replied "I have advice", and from what I can depict you meant it in a mimicy way. Saying "go see a doctor" to someone is often associated with physiological issues and by the mimicy way you said "I have advice", one can depict that you meant this as an intentional jokey insult.

You depict it wrong.

A bit lost for words? Someone hold my moisturiser, I'm ready for round two.

Nope :)

I think you have some problems as well. I highly recommend that you go to a doctor.



#12 melmel87

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Posted 15 September 2013 - 07:58 AM

“We cannot think of being acceptable to others until we have first proven acceptable to ourselves.”

 

If you are content not being in a relationship there is nothing wrong with that. If that is the way you would prefer to live out your life, then you should do that. But if it's not then you should realize that if someone is taking time from their day to show an interest in you, then they must think you are not a waste of time. Maybe you really are unattractive by today's standards, but that doesn't mean you're not worthy of a relationship with someone.

 

Also, everyone arguing amongst themselves on the page, just stop. It's not helping anything.


Edited by melmel87, 15 September 2013 - 08:02 AM.


#13 Clear My Skin

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Posted 15 September 2013 - 11:40 AM

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 


During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne.  I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships.  For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one.  And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people.  I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires.  Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:
 You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time.  But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility.  Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.
 Do you pursue this relationship?
 
Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right?  Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.'  I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor.  I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not.  I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive.  Maybe I'm too proud.  Perhaps I'm too superficial.  I don't know.  But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not.  It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better.  Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship.  Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself.  Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy.  In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.
 
Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.
 
I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

I have an advice: please go to a doctor with these ideas.

Slightly harsh? Acne affects people in different ways...
What is harsh about my post? I am trying to help him.

Oh don't act all innocent... You meant it in a nasty way. Does it make you feel big trying to act clever?

How do you know? Do you have the ability to read minds?

The topic author wrote at the end of his post "I'd love to hear any ADVICE" you have. You replied "I have advice", and from what I can depict you meant it in a mimicy way. Saying "go see a doctor" to someone is often associated with physiological issues and by the mimicy way you said "I have advice", one can depict that you meant this as an intentional jokey insult.

You depict it wrong.

A bit lost for words? Someone hold my moisturiser, I'm ready for round two.

Nope smile.png

I think you have some problems as well. I highly recommend that you go to a doctor.

You just admitted you meant it in a nasty way.. Hahahaha.


I am currently taking 2 x 250mg oxytetracycline tablets twice per day and at night apply Duac Once Daily Gel. Both of these have been prescribed by my doctor.


#14 AlexanderJ86

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Posted 15 September 2013 - 12:23 PM

This is just a "you did! / I didn't!" discussion, which is very infantile. I am going to be the mature person here and I will not respond anymore.



#15 SunnySarah

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Posted 15 September 2013 - 01:09 PM

During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne.  I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships.  For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one.  And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people.  I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires.  Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:

 

You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time.  But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility.  Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.

 

Do you pursue this relationship?

 

Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right?  Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.'  I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor.  I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not.  I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive.  Maybe I'm too proud.  Perhaps I'm too superficial.  I don't know.  But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not.  It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better.  Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship.  Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself.  Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy.  In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.

 

Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.

 

I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

UnacceptedRealist, I agree with you that acne does not make someone unattractive, but it can make an impact on how you think of yourself. If you've suffered with severe acne, it can make you feel like you are less attractive even if you aren't. Acne can't change your bone structure or your eye color or anything like that. I'm sure you are more attractive than you think you are. You should try and pay attention to other things about yourself than your acne. I used to feel the exact same way about people that liked me, I would always wonder "what is so special about me, I have acne, why would they possibly like me?" But, you have to realize people don't just like others for their faces. You may have an incredible personality, a cute face, and some acne can't change that. 



#16 NaniMan

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Posted 15 September 2013 - 06:37 PM

You should relax mate. Acne is a unpleasant thing to deal with but it does not sum you all up. There is more to life than acne and physical appearance. Look around, no one cares about you having acne THAT much. Im pretty sure people don't walk past you and say "omg he has acne, let's think he's inadequate for living". You have the wrong idea of life. But still, it's all understandable. So if you are incapable of looking past this, go compensate by going gym and building up some muscle. It will make you feel better. Self fulfillment comes first. Relationships and all that is irrelevant until then.

#17 patrick92

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Posted 15 September 2013 - 08:07 PM

During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne.  I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships.  For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one.  And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people.  I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires.  Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:

 

You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time.  But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility.  Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.

 

Do you pursue this relationship?

 

Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right?  Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.'  I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor.  I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not.  I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive.  Maybe I'm too proud.  Perhaps I'm too superficial.  I don't know.  But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not.  It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better.  Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship.  Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself.  Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy.  In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.

 

Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.

 

I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

UnacceptedRealist, I agree with you that acne does not make someone unattractive, but it can make an impact on how you think of yourself. If you've suffered with severe acne, it can make you feel like you are less attractive even if you aren't. Acne can't change your bone structure or your eye color or anything like that. I'm sure you are more attractive than you think you are. You should try and pay attention to other things about yourself than your acne. I used to feel the exact same way about people that liked me, I would always wonder "what is so special about me, I have acne, why would they possibly like me?" But, you have to realize people don't just like others for their faces. You may have an incredible personality, a cute face, and some acne can't change that. 

I agree with SunnySarah that it's the damage acne does to your self esteem that really holds you back from relationships, not the acne itself. Until not long ago I always thought that I was just too ugly to attract anyone, but really I'm just so lacking in confidence I would never even dare to approach a girl at all. Acne puts all kinds of negative thoughts about my appearance in my head which always manage to make me chicken out of approaching someone I like. Instead I'm left to admire pathetically from a safe distance (not in a stalkerish way haha). Although I'm definitely not attractive and doubt there have been any girls who knew I even existed, things might be different had pushed through my fear of rejection and approached some of them. Protecting yourself by holding back will never work IMO. But this is just what I feel has held me back personally. Others may have a different experience.


Current Treatment:

 

AM:             Cetaphil gentle cleanser

 

PM:             Cetaphil gentle cleanser

          100mg Doxycycline

                             Tretinoin/Retin-A 0.05% cream

 

My log: http://www.acne.org/...oxycycline-log/

 

 


#18 SubState

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Posted 21 September 2013 - 03:59 AM

As mentioned above, this is all due to your self-esteem issues. There is no such thing as objectivity in human behaviour, but I know what you mean; people would scale her higher on the attractive chart than they would you. Okay, even so, the fact that she's into you suggests that you have some sort of attractiveness to her that outweighs your acne. She was able to look past your acne and look at your qualities. These are the kinds of people you want in your life.

 

If she's into you that's all that should matter, its between you and her; not you, her and the rest of the world.



#19 Mugisha

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Posted 25 September 2013 - 09:00 PM

During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne.  I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships.  For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one.  And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people.  I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires.  Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:

 

You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time.  But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility.  Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.

 

Do you pursue this relationship?

 

Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right?  Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.'  I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor.  I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not.  I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive.  Maybe I'm too proud.  Perhaps I'm too superficial.  I don't know.  But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not.  It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better.  Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship.  Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself.  Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy.  In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.

 

Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.

 

I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

 

My Acne is the main source of my low self esteem and I have finished a lot of relationships because I feel like I do not deserve to find happiness with someone else or more that in my eyes they deserve a better by that I mean more attractive person than me. I explained that to my shrink and she told me that I can love someone else until learn to love myself. In order to do that you have to look past the Acne and focus on what you actually like about yourself , what you think people like about you and although I have just started trying to do that I have to it is helping a little. Give it a try mate and take back your pride.Hope you start to realise that everyone including you is entitled to happiness within a relationship.



#20 guitarist94

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Posted 29 September 2013 - 08:03 PM

During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne.  I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships.  For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one.  And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people.  I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires.  Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:

 

You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time.  But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility.  Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.

 

Do you pursue this relationship?

 

Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right?  Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.'  I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor.  I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not.  I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive.  Maybe I'm too proud.  Perhaps I'm too superficial.  I don't know.  But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not.  It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better.  Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship.  Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself.  Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy.  In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.

 

Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.

 

I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

I'm on the same page as you. People who say acne doesn't matter in a relationship have obviously never had severe acne.