Soooo I'm honestly so frustrated with everything right now.
I'm so depressed and I actually dread waking up in the morning because it means looking in the mirror. I am so embarrassed when I am around my friends and the whole time I'm with them I just want to run home and hide my face. Acne is the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last thing on my mind before I go to sleep.
So here's my story: Around the end of July (a month ago), the 23rdish, I had a pretty shitty breakout around my right cheek, and I know this sounds kind of bad because it was only a couple of zits, like maybe four or five, while the rest of my face was perfectly clear. But every zit I got left a dark hyperpigmentation spot behind, which I worry more about then the actual pimples. I don't even touch the pimples, I just washed my face with a gentle soap and then applied aloe vera gel to the spots. Although aloe vera gel did a good job at fading the dark spots, it still took a lot of time, four or five months if not longer for one spot to fade.
So I was fed up with the accumulating dark spots and acne that slowly got worse and worse with time (like one zit a month became two then three then four then five). So I was determined to fix the problem before it could become horrible.
I went to my family doctor, who prescribed me retin-a 0.025%, in the form of Stieve-A Crème (Canadian brand retin-a). I've been using it 24 days, and when I use it tonight it will be day 25. But from four or five days into the cream, I started to break out! At first it didn't bother me because I had heard of the initial breakout. But it just got worse and worse progressively. Like my forehead, which gets one pimple maybe every six months and never breaks out, is covered in dozen of pimples. My left cheek which is also clear, except for maybe two or three a month, is completely covered in acne. My right cheek, which is where I mostly break out, maybe 11 or 12 a month, is even worse.
And all the zits are leaving huge purple marks on my cheek. The pimples that come to head take weeks to fade. I honestly want to cry everytime I look in the mirror, and most times I do. I'm so sick of this, I just wanna wake up and be happy for once. I haven't enjoyed anything since I've broken out. And to make it worse, school starts in two weeks, and I just wanna break down at the thought of showing up like this, for my final year of high school.
So I don't know at all if Retin-a is working, and this is just mad purging that will fade, or if it's actually just gonna wreck my skin and leave me with red hyperpigmentation scars everywhere (because I now have acne everywhere, including spots that have never broken out in my life).
I'm just so sick of it. I don't know what to do, because if Retin-a doesn't clear it up, I feel like my only option is Accutane, which my brother took and it worked well for him but I'm not keen because I play sports and I use contacts for them because I have horrible eyesight, but I can't do so if I'm on Accutane.
I just feel so trapped and miserable, and I just wanna live my life again.
Do you guys think that the purge I'm experiencing is normal and I should stick through it? Any advice from anyone who also took retin-a? Did anyone experience anything similar? Any comments or opinions are greatly appreciated.