Hi, thanks for taking a look at this topic,
It seems that acne does more emotional damage than physical to me. And that doesn't mean I'm imagining my flaws, I have moderate to severe acne and many pitted scars and hyperpigmentation. Tried everything from prescribed to over-the-counter, from restrcited diets to the regimen. Oh, and laser treatments too. Spend about two thousand dollars in the past two years. But I just can't get rid of it.
I began to avoid my friends, public places, Tv shows and youtube, because everyone out there seems to have problem-less skin. People with clear skin gives me a really hard time as they remind me of how montrous I look.
Now I'm house bound and friendless. I have let acne ruin my social life and especially the bonds with my family. It's because all I do everyday is cry and complain, and even verybally attack my mom by asking her why she couldn't have given me proper skin. No wonder she's not talking to me anymore.
Last night I have come to the point of wanting to inch off every bit of my disgusting skin with a kitchen knife. I was frustrated at my skin for ruining my life and I wanted to kill it.
i really need help. I really want someone to talk to. Any kind of message would do. Please help me.
I know the exact position that you're in. I have my own thread on this website describing the battle that I deal with everyday, in reference to my skin. I constantly feel that I'm at war with myself because my mind and body are disagreeing. My mind wants everything to look perfect ad my body reacts by giving me acne and distorted images of my body. I also have a difficult time looking/being around people who have clear skin...But then I try to remember that EVERYONE has their sh*t. My best friend has recently outgrown his acne, but he suffers from Bi-Polar II disorder. My sister has barely had a pimple in her life, but she has Trichotillomania. And just so you know, even the most perceived beautiful people in the world do NOT have great skin. Megan Fox (considered one of the sexiest women on the planet) has pretty bad acne. Cameron Diaz, Katy Perry, Brittany Spears, Daniel Radcliffe, Tom Felton, Heidi Klum... All celebrities that have bad skin. I try to remember that it's all lighting, makeup, and airbrushing that makes these people look flawless. It's all a mind trip.
I completely relate being housebound. I am basically living the same way. I also know what it's like to snap and yell at people. I sometimes lose control and yell at my parents telling them to "make it better" or ask them "why aren't you doing anything to help me?". As if they have any control what my body will and will not do. If things seem horrible right now and couldn't possibly get any worse... there is some good news. You can only go up from here! You can make the conscious choice to construct a life worth living. I don't know you and I don't know what your skin looks like, but regardless I know three things:
You is kind. You is smart. You is important... Say it to yourself enough and one day you'll believe it. Xo ~Rosalie