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I Have All The Bad Combinations


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#1 whoartthou1

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Posted 25 July 2013 - 02:08 AM

When it comes to looks, it seems I have a really bad combination.

 

I have acne prone skin.... I have monkey ears (and a small head/face makes them look even bigger).... I have dark eye bags (worse than 95% of the population)... seborrheic dermatitis all over face and body.... 

 

I feel like an ugly mess and unacceptable everywhere I go.

 



#2 mrsrobinson

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Posted 25 July 2013 - 05:23 AM

Consider yourself hugged, virtually.  We all get down, just part of life, and we seem to have it tougher than most. 

 

You know the drill, it's okay to have a down day, but we need to keep moving forward...and remember we only see on others what they want us to see - your dark circles under your eyes worse than 95% of the population that you can see WEARING makeup.

 

Chin up, make your action plans to improve what you can and start walking down that path! 



#3 MaskedOne

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Posted 25 July 2013 - 05:43 AM

Another virtual hug here too :) I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I can certainly relate. I have dark circles under my eyes too; I've have them for years.  I would be GLAD to only have that to deal with. I don't even bother covering it up with makeup because my acne is so disgusting I spend more time on that.

 

Is there any treatment you can get for the s. dermatitis?

 

You are not alone. 



#4 whoartthou1

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Posted 25 July 2013 - 05:31 PM

Just to clarify, I am not a female but a male (I know a lot of males use make-up but I am against this idea).

 

What bothers me the most are my ears (and I plan to have them fixed with ear surgery in about a few months). The problem is, my dad who is financing this operation is okay with it, but my mom is so conservative that she would literally cause havoc in my life so that I refuse having the operation. She is very narrow minded.

 

the dark circles and acne is hard to deal with, but I see a lot of people with acne (and the dark circles i guess i can always wear make up). But I see NO ONE with monkey ears



In so many social situations, even though I had a smile on my face, was positive happy ETC.... a lot of people don't seem to accept me just because I look weird



#5 MaskedOne

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Posted 25 July 2013 - 08:08 PM

My apologies whoarthou1!  I wrongly assumed that women were ones who got upset about dark eye circles! I don't know if this will make you feel better, but I've very rarely noticed dark circles on men -- maybe a few older men or anyone (guy or girl) who wear glasses. 

 

As for my makeup comment, it was meant in the sense of in some ways girls are lucky because we can use makeup and cover up the acne.  But I do know guys who wear makeup too.


Edited by MaskedOne, 27 July 2013 - 01:56 PM.


#6 TheSavyBanana

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Posted 26 July 2013 - 10:55 PM

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I can definitely relate. Sometimes I feel like nature took a bunch of odd parts and smooshed them together to make me. I've seemed to get a lot of the "bad" genes in my family, like crappy skin. I also got the "family nose" from my dad's side, while my sister didn't. It's horrible. She has perfect skin AND a cute nose, lol. Just know that this is a feeling rather than a fact. What you perceive about yourself is often either not true or not noticed by others. I hope you feel better! comfort.gif


You! Yes, you. The one reading this. You are beautiful, talented, amazing and simply the best at being you. Never forget that.

 

You don't have to be pretty. You don't owe prettiness to anyone. Not to you boyfriend/spouse/partner. Not to your coworkers, especially not to random men on the street. You don't owe it to your mother, you don't owe it to your children, you don't owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked "female."

Plea to the world: Eat less meat! Or better yet, don't eat it at all! The meat industry violates basic animal rights, it's destroying our planet, and there are so many health benefits you can gain by decreasing/eliminating meat from your diet. Don't let me tell you- do your own research so you can decide for yourself. (The dairy and egg industries are just as horrendous).

I highly recommend watching the movie Earthlings. ^

#7 Bodie81

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Posted 27 July 2013 - 12:35 AM

I got all the crappy genes in my family. Got the big ears, nose and receding hairline from my dad and acne from my mum (she still gets the occasional cyst even at the age of 61).

 

On the subject of dark circles under the eyes, a little while back there was a documentary shown in the UK called "Too Ugly for Love". It followed the lives of three BDD sufferers and one of them was a guy who was convinced that he had hideous dark circles under his eyes and would only go out public in wearing sunglasses. If anyone is interested, here is the youtube link:-

 

 

It is really sad as subsequent to the documentary being made, the guy unfortunately took his life.What is even more poignant for me is the fact that he lived in my home town of Brighton.

 

Think this goes to highlight how severe BDD can be.


Edited by GUNNKE, 27 July 2013 - 12:39 AM.


#8 Lilly75

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Posted 27 July 2013 - 01:31 AM

I went to school with a girl who was quite self conscious of her ears. She would 'pin' them back by pulling her hair tight over them. If you have long hair I suppose that's something you could try. 

 

But I can definitely relate to how you're feeling. I could easily point out all the things about how I look that I would 'fix' or change if I could. What helps me sometimes is to find the one physical thing about yourself that you do like. For me it's sometimes my eyes. Sometimes it's even just what I'm wearing that day. If I can pick something that I like about myself physically, even if it's what I'm wearing, it helps me feel more confident and able to go about my day less 'worried' about what other people think. (And I'm only saying to pick something physical to like because my main thing I don't like is my skin / something physical). Don't forget though, that there is more to you than how you look! Maybe you could challenge yourself to write down other things about yourself that you like or things that you are good at - no matter how small those things may be.

 

 

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I can definitely relate. Sometimes I feel like nature took a bunch of odd parts and smooshed them together to make me. I've seemed to get a lot of the "bad" genes in my family, like crappy skin. I also got the "family nose" from my dad's side, while my sister didn't. It's horrible. She has perfect skin AND a cute nose, lol. Just know that this is a feeling rather than a fact. What you perceive about yourself is often either not true or not noticed by others. I hope you feel better! comfort.gif

I think that's a very good point - it's a feeling rather than a fact. I'll have to remember this for myself...

 

 

I got all the crappy genes in my family. Got the big ears, nose and receding hairline from my dad and acne from my mum (she still gets the occasional cyst even at the age of 61).

 

On the subject of dark circles under the eyes, a little while back there was a documentary shown in the UK called "Too Ugly for Love". It followed the lives of three BDD sufferers and one of them was a guy who was convinced that he had hideous dark circles under his eyes and would only go out public in wearing sunglasses. If anyone is interested, here is the youtube link:-

 

 

It is really sad as subsequent to the documentary being made, the guy unfortunately took his life.What is even more poignant for me is the fact that he lived in my home town of Brighton.

 

Think this goes to highlight how severe BDD can be.

I've seen parts of that video before - it's how I first found out about BDD and I remember relating so much to some of the things people were saying in this video. I can't say if I have or don't have BDD but I'd guess I have a very mild form of it... in a way I think many acne sufferers have mild BDD and it can be more severe for other people (and odviously not just related to acne).

 

I also remember seeing a documentary about a girl who was suffered severe burns to her face and body (she was attacked by someone). She said something about wanting to rip her face off and I can remember crying at that because this girl had 'skin issues' so much more serious and life changing than my acne yet I've had that thought many many times over the years I've dealt with acne... I felt like an idiot and guilty in a way (not sure how to describe it) for having the same thoughts as a person with something so different to and more serious  or 'worse' than acne...

 

Also I think the first girl in the BDD video says she's been on a waiting list for CBT for over 2 years! That's ridiculous when there are people who really need to try it or would benefit from it. But that's just how it goes isn't it...

 

Edit: Wow... watching more of the video - the comment about wanting to rip your skin off was mentioned by that man too... He also wasn't sure if he was suffering with BDD... Sounds like me... maybe this is something I should take more seriously...

 

Edit: Just finished watching the whole documentary. BDD seems to come in different forms in a way... I can relate to all 3 people in the video - mainly Jolyon and Ruth... Very sad to hear Jolyon took his life... he seemed like a nice guy and talented musician. 


Edited by Lilly75, 27 July 2013 - 02:54 AM.

Started The Acne.org Regimen 2nd July 2013

 


#9 AMcguill

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Posted 27 July 2013 - 01:50 AM

In my opinion, distinctive features are what truly makes someone attractive.  Most top male and female models have unusual features anyway.  Look around and I'm sure you'll see plenty of attractive people with your "problem" and it doesn't detract from them - usually it's their best feature actually.  Unusual ears?  Daniel Craig, Russell Tovey.  Big nose?  Chelsea Peretti, Adrian Brody.  Best of luck to you! smile.png


Edited by AMcguill, 27 July 2013 - 01:53 AM.


#10 Bodie81

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Posted 27 July 2013 - 01:19 PM

I've seen parts of that video before - it's how I first found out about BDD and I remember relating so much to some of the things people were saying in this video. I can't say if I have or don't have BDD but I'd guess I have a very mild form of it... in a way I think many acne sufferers have mild BDD and it can be more severe for other people (and odviously not just related to acne).

 

I also remember seeing a documentary about a girl who was suffered severe burns to her face and body (she was attacked by someone). She said something about wanting to rip her face off and I can remember crying at that because this girl had 'skin issues' so much more serious and life changing than my acne yet I've had that thought many many times over the years I've dealt with acne... I felt like an idiot and guilty in a way (not sure how to describe it) for having the same thoughts as a person with something so different to and more serious  or 'worse' than acne...

 

Also I think the first girl in the BDD video says she's been on a waiting list for CBT for over 2 years! That's ridiculous when there are people who really need to try it or would benefit from it. But that's just how it goes isn't it...

 

Edit: Wow... watching more of the video - the comment about wanting to rip your skin off was mentioned by that man too... He also wasn't sure if he was suffering with BDD... Sounds like me... maybe this is something I should take more seriously...

 

Edit: Just finished watching the whole documentary. BDD seems to come in different forms in a way... I can relate to all 3 people in the video - mainly Jolyon and Ruth... Very sad to hear Jolyon took his life... he seemed like a nice guy and talented musician. 

 

To get CBT via the NHS in the UK, you have to go on a waiting list and the length of time that you have to wait depends on the severity of your condition. I only had to wait 7-8 months and I don`t think my BDD/acne dysmorphia is nearly as severe as the first girl who was on a CBT waiting list for over 2 years. Mind you, I`m from a different part of the UK to her so maybe that has something to do with it.

 

The thing that really struck me was that all three people in the documentary looked perfectly normal - it is so sad that they had a such a low opinion of themselves and truly believed they were hideous and ugly.  Probably out of all three, I am most able to relate to the girl Ruth insomuchas that like her, I am able to work and appear to lead a relatively normal life but secretly have a severe disliking of an aspect of my appearance. In my case, it is purely to do with the condition of my skin. Even though I don`t have terrible acne anymore,  I am still prone to getting spots now and again and any minor breakout or blemish can make me feel like a hideous, repulsive monster.

 

It is so sad what happened to Jolyon. I live literally about a mile from where he lived and I am very familiar with all the areas of Brighton that were shown in the documentary. I even shop in that same supermarket that was featured from time to time. I didn`t know Jolyon but I wish I had done. Not saying that I could have made a difference but just maybe, it may have helped him to feel less isolated and alone if he could have talked to someone who had some understanding of what he was going through and been there in a more empathic way.

 

Sorry for going off on a bit of a tangent. Just getting back to this thread - as SavyBanana brilliantly put it, our perceptions of ourselves are often distorted and based on feeling rather than fact. No one else views ourselves as negatively as we do. You may feel that you are hideous and ugly and hate certain aspects of your appearance, but there is so much more to all of us than just appearance. I hope in time that we can all come to accept and like ourselves - even if it takes having counselling or therapy to get there.


Edited by GUNNKE, 27 July 2013 - 02:57 PM.


#11 TheSavyBanana

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Posted 28 July 2013 - 11:57 PM

I got all the crappy genes in my family. Got the big ears, nose and receding hairline from my dad and acne from my mum (she still gets the occasional cyst even at the age of 61).

 

On the subject of dark circles under the eyes, a little while back there was a documentary shown in the UK called "Too Ugly for Love". It followed the lives of three BDD sufferers and one of them was a guy who was convinced that he had hideous dark circles under his eyes and would only go out public in wearing sunglasses. If anyone is interested, here is the youtube link:-

 

 

It is really sad as subsequent to the documentary being made, the guy unfortunately took his life.What is even more poignant for me is the fact that he lived in my home town of Brighton.

 

Think this goes to highlight how severe BDD can be.

Gosh, I remember watching this quite a while ago. It was heart wrenching. I had no idea the guy took his life. It really, really breaks my heart.


You! Yes, you. The one reading this. You are beautiful, talented, amazing and simply the best at being you. Never forget that.

 

You don't have to be pretty. You don't owe prettiness to anyone. Not to you boyfriend/spouse/partner. Not to your coworkers, especially not to random men on the street. You don't owe it to your mother, you don't owe it to your children, you don't owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked "female."

Plea to the world: Eat less meat! Or better yet, don't eat it at all! The meat industry violates basic animal rights, it's destroying our planet, and there are so many health benefits you can gain by decreasing/eliminating meat from your diet. Don't let me tell you- do your own research so you can decide for yourself. (The dairy and egg industries are just as horrendous).

I highly recommend watching the movie Earthlings. ^

#12 underneath32

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 12:38 AM

When it comes to looks, it seems I have a really bad combination.

 

I have acne prone skin.... I have monkey ears (and a small head/face makes them look even bigger).... I have dark eye bags (worse than 95% of the population)... seborrheic dermatitis all over face and body.... 

 

I feel like an ugly mess and unacceptable everywhere I go.

I would accept you mate, open arms here :)



#13 knott2010

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 01:07 AM

I can definitely relate with you! I have perioral eczema or dermatitis and cystic acne on my nek and face. My perioral dermatitis has discolored my chin, very white compared to my light brown complexion. My cystic acne just came back in June and it never ceases, once one is healed, two pop out to replace the healed one. My face is now hyperpigmented and looks ugly, and sometimes, I think I have Acne Dysmorphia. I am really feeling down but my wife says its okay, maybe she never wants to hurt my feelings. I am praying that it will get better as I am now 42 years old. I just wish that through further research, there will be one best cure for what we have... but for now, we just have to avail for what is in the beauty market, ranging from retin A, Salycilic Acid to tea tree oil. Anyways, if we could lessen our stressor which is most likely the way we think and see ourselves, we'll probably make it for the better. The world is still wonderful despite of us not winning the genetic lottery of being beautiful outside, maybe we are the real beauty inside. Lots of hugs for you!