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Has Anyone Else Got To The Stage Of Not Leaving The House?

recluse severe cystic acne never leave the house no social life miserable painful cysts treatment incredibly slow

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#61 MoonlitRiver

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Posted 17 August 2013 - 02:52 PM

Ouch. I remember the breaking point for me, when I realised my skin actually pretty bad (I was trying to pretend it wasn't), was when my mum spoke to me about it, suggesting I get some kind of treatment. She was being supportive and helpful, and she still is, but it was really a blow for me, to hear someone else (especially a parent) come right out and tell me that my skin looked "really bad."

 

A comment like that is really hurtful. If you don't have experience with pretty bad acne, I really don't think you can totally understand how really really really hard it is to motivate yourself to go out. I suppose maybe your dad is worried for you, that you spend so much time at home now when you used to be more outgoing and active? Although he could be more tactful errr.gif


Yeh my mum already made me go to the doctor about my acne earlier this summer because she said it was "out of control". I was pretty much in denial up till then as well. I knew it was bad but it really hit home when the doctor started talking to me about Roaccutane.

"Tact" is definitely not in my dad's' vocabulary. Ironically he's actually a child and adolescent psychiatrist but I swear if I'd ever been sent to him for treatment I'd probably have gone straight out and topped myself! I suppose having dealt with loads of really serious psychological problems he just doesn't think acne is a big deal. He also terms my make-up regimen "putting on the war paint" and says that it's "silly" that I can't go out of the house without it. I guess you're probably right and he doesn't mean it badly or anything but it still kind of hurts you know? 


Edited by MoonlitRiver, 17 August 2013 - 02:55 PM.


#62 Kalinka

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Posted 17 August 2013 - 03:00 PM

Yeah, I hear you on it hurting. i try to be flippant about my acne at times, but really I'm just covering up the hurt, like a coping mechanism. My skin is definitely the elephant in the room at home, but talking about it bluntly kinda hurts a lot.

 

I'm absolutely petrified about uni though. Classes start back in two weeks for me, and my skin is a lot worse than it ever looked last year. It's going to be really tough. But I hope I can stick it out and not miss classes too often/at all, because I really enjoy school and I'd be really angry if I let my acne win. I'm so grateful I have long hair, lol. :P


Edited by syllacrostics, 17 August 2013 - 03:02 PM.


#63 Bodie81

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Posted 17 August 2013 - 04:05 PM

My dad said to me today: "I saw a girl with acne just as bad as yours at the checkout in Sainsbury's today and she obviously gets out every day and goes to work without any problems. Why can't you be like that?!" ... Thanks dad, thank you so much for your sensitivity and understanding...
 

 

Your dad probably wasn`t deliberately trying to be insensitive but I can see how his comment didn`t exactly help you.

 

When I was about 19 or 20 and spending most of my time sat in my room at home, I remember on a hot summer`s day my stepdad said to me: "if you get out in the sun, it will clear up your skin". He was probably trying to be helpful but the fact that he pointed out my problem skin made me feel really crap!



#64 MoonlitRiver

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Posted 17 August 2013 - 04:15 PM

Your dad probably wasn`t deliberately trying to be insensitive but I can see how his comment didn`t exactly help you.

 

When I was about 19 or 20 and spending most of my time sat in my room at home, I remember on a hot summer`s day my stepdad said to me: "if you get out in the sun, it will clear up your skin". He was probably trying to be helpful but the fact that he pointed out my problem skin made me feel really crap!


Maybe. He does often say that I'm really oversensitive so perhaps this is part of some wider plan to make me grow a thicker skin (excuse the pun). If so, it's definitely not having the desired effect.

And yeh I agree, it always makes you feel crappy when people point out your skin, even if they're trying to help, because it just reminds you how obvious it must be to everybody else. It would be nice if people could be a little more understanding about acne and the effect it has on your self-esteem but I suppose we can't really expect people to understand the full impact of it when it's completely outside their personal experience. Still makes the whole thing even harder to deal with though! 



#65 Kalinka

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Posted 17 August 2013 - 04:47 PM

The other day I went to a shop and when I got to the checkout the woman working was very friendly and gave me a big smile and most importantly looked me in the eyes when she spoke to me. I really felt better after I left the store, because it made me realise that a lot of the desperate and terrified thoughts that run through my head, worries about what others are thinking of my face etc., are really irrational. The problem is, I'm finding it harder and harder to remember this when I;m sitting at home, debating about going out somewhere. 

 

I'm just hoping that once this is all over, (and please, may it end one day), when my skin is clear.. I won't retain all these anxieties and fears, that would be so incredibly frustrating!!


Edited by syllacrostics, 17 August 2013 - 04:47 PM.


#66 Lilly75

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Posted 17 August 2013 - 11:22 PM

I've had similar things with my mum where she'll come home and say something to me like 'Today I saw a girl / guy who had bad skin too' - as if reassuring me that other people have issues with their skin but still manage to be confident and outgoing all the time. She probably doesn't realise but the first thing I get from hearing that is that people see my skin as being bad.

Sometimes it's worse when she comments on seeing a really pretty/attractive person and she'll go on about how nice their skin / hair / eyes / height whatever were. And then it makes me aware of how easily she can comment on another persons good looks but I can't recall her telling me I looked nice or anything like that... (I don't need her to say that sort of thing it's just that I'm suddenly aware of that when this sort of topic comes up).

I don't know... I tend to over think most things but hearing all that sort of thing just sets in my mind even more that appearance really does matter, as much as people try and say it doesn't. I guess when it comes to knowing a person and connecting with a person, appearance doesn't matter so much but I think everyone, without realising or meaning to, judges or forms an opinion of a person in the first few seconds of seeing them... so having 'bad skin' and not being 'pretty' must really impact on that...

But then again, confidence does change everything. If I could manage to be more confident (and it's slowly becoming a little easier as my skin starts to improve) I'm sure a lot of things could be better.

 

My dad is pretty good though when it comes to this sort of thing. I don't think he has any idea of how my skin has effected me but at the same time seems to know it's something I don't want attention brought to and so never comments on my skin unless I've been the one to bring it up. 

 

And like syllacrostics said, I hope that I can leave these anxieties etc that I've developed behind me one day! I've heard that mothers in particular can cause/contribute to body image / self confidence issues in their children / daughters by being concerned with their own appearance or making comments about their own weight etc - and if I were to ever have children, I'd hate for them to go through the same or worse image issues I have, especially if I had 'caused' it to happen to them. I'd want my kids to be happy and confident and love themselves! But good thing I don't plan on kids any time soon - I would not be a good 'role model' for that sort of thing at this point :P



#67 omgmike4

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Posted 18 August 2013 - 11:22 AM

Yea. My parents say that im like the worst 19-20 year old there is and that im lazy and going to become such a bum because I sit at home all the time. I'm so tired of hearing that from them...It's not that I just want to sit here on the computer, but I want to go hang out and do normal things and see cool places ect.. I love the thought of all this, but acne is just forcing me to sit here and do nothing with my time. I don't even know... When I try to explain to my parents about acne being the reason im sitting here, then they think I'm crazy or need help and that its just a excuse. Man does it make me furious. "Your almost a grown adult, you need to be working as much as possible and stop acting like a kid, now go do something". -My MOM every day



#68 Aiko1992

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Posted 18 September 2013 - 12:49 PM

It did happened to me when i was probably like 15 or 16 years old. I would just sit on my bed and cry, cry and cry all day. Saying to myself how miserable my life is and that is so unfair that i can´t enjoy life like others. But that was in the past baby, now i still have acne, but i still don´t give a crap. Today i wore my best outfit, high heels, my wild curly hair and i went outside (i had to pick up my mom from my sister´s house) everybody where staring at me, guys and girls, but not staring at me because of my skin but because how confident i looked. Some girls gave me dirty looks of jealousy, other girls said things to me like ´´how pretty you are´´ (yes some of this girls where lesbians) and guys just couldn´t take their eyes out of me. But it´s not because i think i´m pretty or anything like that. Is because there are days that i just don´t care what others can say about my acne, if i feel pretty inside and out am not gonna let anyone put me down. And believe me, when you show confidence in yourself that´s all people are going to see. But if you go feeling all crap believe me you can be the target for bullies. It all depends on how you look at yourself in the mirror. Oh and i forgot to say that i went outside with no makeup, like no foundation just mascara and lipstick that´s it. And i can tell you that i never felt so beautiful before like i did today :)



#69 patrick92

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Posted 19 September 2013 - 04:47 AM

Ok so I've had moderate acne for the past 8 or so years (started at 13, now 21) and during that time I've become increasingly introverted and nervous around people. I've always avoided big social situations as much as possible but I did actually have some sort of social life (albeit quite a restricted one) until quite recently with the help of the wondrous invention of foundation.

However, in the past few months I've developed severe cystic acne which can no longer be successfully covered up by make-up and, with the exception of my graduation ceremony last week, I haven't actually left the house in about 2 months. My friends keep texting and calling asking me to go out and do things with people but I literally feel like a monster even with a tonne of foundation on because it just doesn't cover up these huge cysts any more. Obviously I'm on various treatments and trying everything I possibly can to improve my skin but it all works so slowly and in the meantime it's just painful, swollen and ugly every minute of the day and I'm too embarrassed to even contemplate showing my face to the outside world. What a sad and sorry existence indeed! It feels like it will never end and I'm so incredibly bored and miserable!!!

Does anyone else have this issue? How on earth are you supposed to get around it and have anything resembling a normal life? And does anyone know of anything that can make these massive deep cysts hurt any less and/or reduce their size? 

Sorry for the long rant I just needed to vent to somebody who might actually understand why I feel like this. Any advice would be seriously appreciated! 

 

I know exactly what you mean. I've always been quiet and have never been a social butterfly, but since I've had acne I've slowly gotten more and more reclusive. I've gone from a normal social life, to a very boring life with very few friends at all. This is all down to me isolating myself as a defense mechanism, which I think is quite a common behavior for acne suffers. I think it's a matter of just letting go and accepting the fact that, yes we have acne, but other people don't actually care and still want to spend time with us. It's really hard to do, but it's something I've been forcing myself to do lately. At least then I feel as though I'm making a positive step towards the life I really want, instead of just hiding away from people.

I've had similar things with my mum where she'll come home and say something to me like 'Today I saw a girl / guy who had bad skin too' - as if reassuring me that other people have issues with their skin but still manage to be confident and outgoing all the time. She probably doesn't realise but the first thing I get from hearing that is that people see my skin as being bad.

Sometimes it's worse when she comments on seeing a really pretty/attractive person and she'll go on about how nice their skin / hair / eyes / height whatever were. And then it makes me aware of how easily she can comment on another persons good looks but I can't recall her telling me I looked nice or anything like that... (I don't need her to say that sort of thing it's just that I'm suddenly aware of that when this sort of topic comes up).

I don't know... I tend to over think most things but hearing all that sort of thing just sets in my mind even more that appearance really does matter, as much as people try and say it doesn't. I guess when it comes to knowing a person and connecting with a person, appearance doesn't matter so much but I think everyone, without realising or meaning to, judges or forms an opinion of a person in the first few seconds of seeing them... so having 'bad skin' and not being 'pretty' must really impact on that...

But then again, confidence does change everything. If I could manage to be more confident (and it's slowly becoming a little easier as my skin starts to improve) I'm sure a lot of things could be better.

 

My dad is pretty good though when it comes to this sort of thing. I don't think he has any idea of how my skin has effected me but at the same time seems to know it's something I don't want attention brought to and so never comments on my skin unless I've been the one to bring it up. 

 

And like syllacrostics said, I hope that I can leave these anxieties etc that I've developed behind me one day! I've heard that mothers in particular can cause/contribute to body image / self confidence issues in their children / daughters by being concerned with their own appearance or making comments about their own weight etc - and if I were to ever have children, I'd hate for them to go through the same or worse image issues I have, especially if I had 'caused' it to happen to them. I'd want my kids to be happy and confident and love themselves! But good thing I don't plan on kids any time soon - I would not be a good 'role model' for that sort of thing at this point tongue.png

 

Your Mum sounds a lot like mine haha. She always means well (and I love her dearly) but sometimes I think she fails to realise how much my acne gets me down. She will often comment on how my skin is looking a bit worse, from the view point of a concerned mum, but she forgets this is just reminding me of the problem. It's not like I hadn't already noticed!! I've also noticed for a long time that whenever we go out somewhere as a family, she always tells my brother (who has perfect skin) that he is looking good but I never, ever get a compliment. 

 

It does make you wonder what other people think about your appearance. I really don't consider myself to be attractive at all, so I know I always come across as very shy (especially around girls).  But if I had more confidence, then even if people didn't find me physically attractive, there would be more of a chance they'd be attracted to me because of my personality. I know there will always be shallow people, but most probably couldn't care less that we have acne. Hopefully one day soon we will all have nice clear skin, and can go back to just simply being ourselves. One thing is for sure, when I have children (hopefully I can find someone willing to have them with me hahaha) I will do everything I can to ensure they have good self esteem and don't go through what many of us have. It's just not fun.

 

 

It did happened to me when i was probably like 15 or 16 years old. I would just sit on my bed and cry, cry and cry all day. Saying to myself how miserable my life is and that is so unfair that i can´t enjoy life like others. But that was in the past baby, now i still have acne, but i still don´t give a crap. Today i wore my best outfit, high heels, my wild curly hair and i went outside (i had to pick up my mom from my sister´s house) everybody where staring at me, guys and girls, but not staring at me because of my skin but because how confident i looked. Some girls gave me dirty looks of jealousy, other girls said things to me like ´´how pretty you are´´ (yes some of this girls where lesbians) and guys just couldn´t take their eyes out of me. But it´s not because i think i´m pretty or anything like that. Is because there are days that i just don´t care what others can say about my acne, if i feel pretty inside and out am not gonna let anyone put me down. And believe me, when you show confidence in yourself that´s all people are going to see. But if you go feeling all crap believe me you can be the target for bullies. It all depends on how you look at yourself in the mirror. Oh and i forgot to say that i went outside with no makeup, like no foundation just mascara and lipstick that´s it. And i can tell you that i never felt so beautiful before like i did today smile.png

 

I admire your attitude, and you made me laugh. I wish I could go out and be confident like that.



#70 kimbela

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Posted 20 September 2013 - 12:44 PM

OMG I will not go out unless I really have to.  Im 47 years old and just retired this July an I have been prisoner for the whole summer.  I just started accutane yesterday an I can't wait for it to work.  Right now I have one healing cyst, two that were coming and a horrible wound from a cyst right across my nose that just won't heal.  I guess I will never get out of this house.  Im just so upset because I feel the doctor should of put me on accutane long ago.  I requested the accutane myself.  Im to the point that I will try anything no matter the risk.  I have always had beautiful skin an I am just so upset about this whole thing.  So I can relate.



#71 Lilly75

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Posted 20 September 2013 - 05:17 PM

I've had similar things with my mum where she'll come home and say something to me like 'Today I saw a girl / guy who had bad skin too' - as if reassuring me that other people have issues with their skin but still manage to be confident and outgoing all the time. She probably doesn't realise but the first thing I get from hearing that is that people see my skin as being bad.

Sometimes it's worse when she comments on seeing a really pretty/attractive person and she'll go on about how nice their skin / hair / eyes / height whatever were. And then it makes me aware of how easily she can comment on another persons good looks but I can't recall her telling me I looked nice or anything like that... (I don't need her to say that sort of thing it's just that I'm suddenly aware of that when this sort of topic comes up).

I don't know... I tend to over think most things but hearing all that sort of thing just sets in my mind even more that appearance really does matter, as much as people try and say it doesn't. I guess when it comes to knowing a person and connecting with a person, appearance doesn't matter so much but I think everyone, without realising or meaning to, judges or forms an opinion of a person in the first few seconds of seeing them... so having 'bad skin' and not being 'pretty' must really impact on that...

But then again, confidence does change everything. If I could manage to be more confident (and it's slowly becoming a little easier as my skin starts to improve) I'm sure a lot of things could be better.

 

My dad is pretty good though when it comes to this sort of thing. I don't think he has any idea of how my skin has effected me but at the same time seems to know it's something I don't want attention brought to and so never comments on my skin unless I've been the one to bring it up. 

 

And like syllacrostics said, I hope that I can leave these anxieties etc that I've developed behind me one day! I've heard that mothers in particular can cause/contribute to body image / self confidence issues in their children / daughters by being concerned with their own appearance or making comments about their own weight etc - and if I were to ever have children, I'd hate for them to go through the same or worse image issues I have, especially if I had 'caused' it to happen to them. I'd want my kids to be happy and confident and love themselves! But good thing I don't plan on kids any time soon - I would not be a good 'role model' for that sort of thing at this point tongue.png

 

Your Mum sounds a lot like mine haha. She always means well (and I love her dearly) but sometimes I think she fails to realise how much my acne gets me down. She will often comment on how my skin is looking a bit worse, from the view point of a concerned mum, but she forgets this is just reminding me of the problem. It's not like I hadn't already noticed!! I've also noticed for a long time that whenever we go out somewhere as a family, she always tells my brother (who has perfect skin) that he is looking good but I never, ever get a compliment. 

 

It does make you wonder what other people think about your appearance. I really don't consider myself to be attractive at all, so I know I always come across as very shy (especially around girls).  But if I had more confidence, then even if people didn't find me physically attractive, there would be more of a chance they'd be attracted to me because of my personality. I know there will always be shallow people, but most probably couldn't care less that we have acne. Hopefully one day soon we will all have nice clear skin, and can go back to just simply being ourselves. One thing is for sure, when I have children (hopefully I can find someone willing to have them with me hahaha) I will do everything I can to ensure they have good self esteem and don't go through what many of us have. It's just not fun.

 

Haha same thing with my brother / mum in a way. He nearly always has perfect skin too but he will ocassionally have some mild breakouts and when that happens Mum will be worrying over him and suggesting he use whatever face wash and asks me which brand / ingredient would help (Yeah me.. because apparently I'm the acne expert I guess? thanks mum :P) because she doesn't want his to get worse and scar. But she never showed that concern for me in that sense as far as I can recall. But all that aside I still love my parents and brother.

 

And yeah same here - I wouldn't say I'm attractive and if anyone ever comments to me otherwise I assume their just being nice or messing with me depending on who it is (which I guess shows how shot my self-confidence has become). But in recent weeks I have noticed myself becoming a little more confident - it's a bit of a roller coaster though - I've been breaking out again lately and that's making me want to hide away again...

And yes - I agree completely - I'd do the same for my kids when I (hopefully) have a family one day. :P



#72 Katsuya

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Posted 23 September 2013 - 09:58 PM

I'm at that point right now. Its horrible because this boy keeps asking me to go on a date with him and i say no every time due to my acne, but i really wanna go! No one around me has bad acne like i do. I also wear foundation, but it doesn't help that much. It just makes me feel like people think I'm a cake face and they can still see my acne underneath. And to make it worse i have my family constantly forcing me to go out when all i really want is to be left alone and cry because they don't know what its like.



#73 Lilly75

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Posted 24 September 2013 - 03:24 AM

 

Go and meet up with him!! I'm assuming he's seen you and knows you have acne and he's asking you out knowing that! smile.png It doesn't matter to him.

And you said you want to go so you should! I'm sure you'll have a great time if you go smile.png You don't want it to end up being a 'missed chance' - it's not a good feeling


Edited by Lilly75, 24 September 2013 - 03:26 AM.


#74 humandart

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Posted 03 October 2013 - 12:40 PM

i was getting horrible cystic acne on my neck and jawline. and for about a year the only times i'd out was to work. i wouldn't go out for anything else, except on the odd occasion when my skin was ok.

 

i thought i'd cured it about 3 months ago, and was so nice to be able to go out in public again and not feel like people are starring. but for some reason it's come back the past few days so suffering again with the feeling of being trapped inside.


Edited by humandart, 03 October 2013 - 12:48 PM.


#75 AmandaSA

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Posted 03 October 2013 - 01:08 PM

I feel the exact same way. I'm 18 and have been suffering with acne for so so long. Its a combination of genetics and hormones so I get the really huge painful ones under my skin, on top of the regular breakouts all over the face as well. I've been obsessing to the point of where I would just examine how ugly my face is with each pimple. Comments flow in from everywhere saying "do this, do that, do you wash your face?, etc. At this point, I've given up going out in the daytime unless it's either my family or my best friends that i'm with, because they know how my skin is, and this makes me feel ALOT better because I can get out and enjoy life without being so self-conscious about myself.

 

Feel a bit relieved to see that someone is on the same boat as me though! As for makeup, after much experimentation I have come to the conclusion that with cystic acne, the only makeup worth putting on is concealer for the dark spots as it does nothing to cover the size of the pimples. Although it may not seem like a good thing, this means that there is less makeup on your face, and I don't know about you but that makes me feel a lot better! What I do is I go a bit heavy on the eye makeup so that at least I get compliments on my eyes shy.gif .

 

Thank you so much for your reply! I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this as well but it is also nice to feel I'm not totally alone in experiencing this. I hate it when other people make comments when really they don't have the first clue about acne. I know they're only trying to help and all but it just makes you feel so much worse! That's great that you can go out with your family and friends without feeling self-conscious. Only my parents know what my skin is like without make-up so I spend most of the time in the house at the moment. I'm just really worried about going back to university after the summer now because I'll be living in a house with three of my friends who have never seen me without make-up before and are just going to think I look like a monster sad.png

 

Make-up with cysts is such a nightmare! I always still go for the full foundation but it does nothing to cover the bumpy appearance as you say. If I put less make-up on I just feel more self-conscious and therefore much much worse so it's not even worth me trying to cut down on it because I just end up not talking to anyone. Haha good shout with the eye make-up! I used to always do that in my teens but now I don't wear eye make-up at all because I don't want to do anything that draws any extra attention to my face. I also don't wear jewellery except on my wrists for exactly the same reason. Kind of sad really...

Have you guys ever checked out Cassandra Bankson on YouTube? She has a full foundation routine that works amazing for her and I'm pretty sure she has (or had, at least) cystic acne.. I haven't actually tried her routine though. I just bought an airbrush makeup system  a few years ago because I have no patience for layering on foundation. But it could be worth a try.

 

And I agree, it's so frustrating when people who don't understand how it feels to have acne make comments about it. I've always had a hard time dealing with  it emotionally because people will always say, like, you're just being superficial, you shouldn't let it bother you, etc. etc. There's a free webinar next week about this actually. It's from Herborium and they're talking about how to empower yourself to overcome the physical and emotional effects of acne. You also get a personalized plan for how to break the cycle of acne. Maybe I will see you there! whistling.gif) *Moderator edit, URL removed – please read the board rules*
 






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