Hey, sorry I haven't checked on this thread in a while and wanted to reply to you all so this is going to be one massive long post!
So an update to just provide an example of how difficult it is to have the "I don't care, eff 'em" attitude: My skin was not looking so great yesterday after three injections, but I still went out, as I mentioned above, and most of the day was okay. Didn't feel confident, but facing strangers didn't bother me. Who cares, right?
However, later in the afternoon I decided to visit some family friends since I was still feeling the "I don't care" mantra in my head. Well, they stared at my skin. I mean, they were so clearly looking at my chin where the injections had turned into in small scabs. (I was really trying to not use makeup to cover it up because I'd rather let the skin breathe) The marks were obvious, but to continue to look at them while I'm talking made me so self-conscious. I left within an hour or so. I couldn't pretend I didn't care anymore.
I got home and started crying. I looked in the mirror and for the first time, I saw my blemishes and not ME. Very upsetting. So while yesterday started out ok, it ended on a sad note.
Today is a new day. Hoping to feel a little better and begrudgingly, put on more makeup and pretend that it's "fun."
Aww MaskedOne I'm so sorry to hear you had such a horrible experience, and with family friends no less! I hate it when people stare, like they don't know you must already be self-conscious about it. Friends especially should have more consideration as they already know the real "you" beneath it all.
I was really lucky the other day in this respect. I had a friend I haven't seen in like 3 years turn up on my doorstep out of the blue when I had absolutely no make-up on. I'm not going to lie, I was terrified and couldn't believe that I was in that situation. I was so embarrassed and just wanted the ground to swallow me up. I was thinking "Oh no, she must think I've turned into an absolute monster!" Now I'm not going to say it was a pleasant experience. I was self-conscious in the extreme and constantly trying to hide the worst bits of my face with my hand whilst still inviting my friend in, offering drinks, and generally playing the pleasant host role. BUT all credit to my friend. She did not make a single comment on my skin. And although she did look (with a bit of badly hidden shock I may add) at my skin when I first opened the door, she didn't look at it once after that, not at all. She looked me in the eye as usual while were talking and we chatted for hours about completely normal things, like she wasn't even bothered by it all.
Whilst this does not mean I can contemplate going out and letting the wider world see me in this state, my friend did imbue me with a renewed faith in humanity. There are some good people out there who do genuinely see past your skin no matter how bad it is! Please remember that you are not your blemishes, no matter how obvious they may appear to you in the mirror. You are you and no amount of acne is ever going to change that!
Hey, im in the same boat as you. my skin sucks and it has been affecting my life the past few years. its like there is no cure.
Socially I have been a wreck before just like what you are going through. I missed so many great social opportunities due to acne my senior year of high school and i told myself i would not let it happen again. Unfortunately, now i am in college and although i have gotten a little better mentally, i am still struggling when it comes to coping with my acne. I know people are looking at my skin. And the thing that sucks is that I know I am not being the real me. I used to love going out every night with my friends, but now its like i only go out if i can deal with my skin. If my skin sucks or i feel a pimple coming up, i stay in and get really depressed. I too get those days when i want to give up or just pop every nasty pimple on my face. I then get mad that i am the one in the family with the bad acne. Its as if noone understands because they have never had acne.
A couple years ago i had such a panic attack that i tried to overdose on pills ...that was a very sad day for me
I am also half spanish, so once a pimple is gone it takes a couple weeks for the mark to fade away, which sucks
Honestly, the best way to get through acne is staying strong with your friends family and never give up. Friends and family are who keep my going in life. Without them i would have no support and i would ultimately give up. You also need to have confidence in yourself and tell yourself you are beautiful because essentially everyone is. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I truly respect anyone who has been through the harsh times of acne because it can make you want to stay in the house until it goes away.
Unfortunately, acne is not a one day thing and because of that you just need to go out with your friends and fam and remember that ONE DAY it will go away! I honestly cannot wait for that day!! I already told myself that once my acne goes away i am eating all burgers and fries i want haha!
It sounds like to me that we have been through a lot of the same things.
I think together we can get past acne
Hey theperuvian. Yes it does sound like we've been going through very much the same thing! I know exactly what you mean about it seeming to change your personality. There was a time (a long time ago) when I was always up for anything social and spent more time out with my friends than I did at home. Oh how the times change! It doesn't seem fair that something that only physically affects your skin can possibly have such massive effects on your mental state.
I'm sorry to hear about your overdose. I know how it feels when you find yourself thinking that you're utterly alone, nobody can possibly understand, and nothing will ever make your situation better. At these kind of times we have to remember to try to put things in perspective and to try to reach out for others even though it's hard. It sounds like your family and friends really want to help you and you should definitely let them in when you're feeling low.
I agree with you about trying to have confidence in yourself and I've been trying really hard to improve my self-esteem but whenever I do it seems to plummet again. I really need to get myself some better techniques for positive thinking. It is nice to know that I am not alone in feeling this way though. Thank you for your supportive words
I start my junior year of college in late August and I don't know what I will do to cover my acne. My face was getting better about a few months back, but then suddenly I started getting like 6 painful cysts or nodules on my chin. My cheeks are also horrible because my red marks have still not healed completely from 7 months ago. They are clearly visible because I have fair skin. So I am in the same boat.
I have not left the house during the day for months too, after I finished the spring semester of college. So for the whole summer, I only go out at night if I need to buy some food.
Yeh I'm very much like that as well, I barely leave the house in the university holidays when I don't have the motivation of lectures to go to. Cysts and nodules are the worst and they're so hard to cover up. I guess we just have to try to remember that there is some truth in the cliche that "we are our own worst critics". Our skin looks awful to us because we are faced with it in a mirror every day but other people mostly don't see it as badly as we do, or at least they give fewer thoughts to it when they see it because it does not directly affect their lives. If anything I assume it probably makes them feel better about their own beautiful skin! (Grumble, grumble, green eyed monster!)
same here, on my summer break from Uni, although i don't have acne anymore, i still have a few red marks left over from it, and just those marks sometimes put me of social events, i purposely sometimes decline an event just so i know i can have more free time for my skin to heal, even though i know my friends won't care, its just i would rather look my best if that makes sense.
Anyway everyone goes through these stages, you just have to live it i suppose, and i'm sure your acne phase won't last for much longer, the older you get it gets a lot easier, well for me anyway, i'm sure it will for you tooo!
Ps have a healthy diet if your not already.
Yeh it really sucks that even if we do clear up we still have so many scars and red marks to deal with! I also purposefully turn down social events sometimes just because I feel my skin needs a break from the make-up and I know it's really bad but I still can't help doing it anyway.
Haha yeh I keep telling myself I will grow out of it but the older I get the less and less likely it seems! I hope I'm like you and it calms down a bit soon because I am seriously at the end of my tether right now, in fact I've been on the end of my tether for two years and am now clinging on to the frayed ends by my fingernails!
I'm trying to improve my diet but it doesn't seem to have a whole lot of effect on the state of my acne. I've just started cutting out dairy over the past two weeks and am waiting to see if that will have a positive effect but I'm not holding out a lot of hope to be honest.
I often feel like not leaving the house but it's only really an issue when I'm on holidays from uni and I have a lot of free time. I know I should make an effort to catch up with people and socialise etc but it's hard to do that when you feel so self-conscious and unconfident.
So that's one good thing about being back at uni - it's a lot easier to go out because I actually have to go to class. And this way I'm out seeing friends and possibly meeting new people (if not actually meeting people, I'm still faced with being around a lot of people). I feel better about myself when I am out and about like normal.
I'm totally the same. I know I should catch up with people but just can't make myself when I don't have classes and academic work to motivate me. I think I also feel a bit better at uni when I'm busier and more distracted by all the things I actually have to do instead of when I'm at home and can choose to just not bother. It also means by the time I get back to uni I've got myself super nervous of people again and it all runs back into that cycle. Why does acne have to affect your whole life and all human interaction in this way?! I hate it so much! I used to be a normal sociable person at the age of 12 and acne has literally turned me into a part time recluse and a full time jibbering jellyfish when it comes to any form of social interaction. It's pathetic.