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Has Anyone Else Got To The Stage Of Not Leaving The House?

recluse severe cystic acne never leave the house no social life miserable painful cysts treatment incredibly slow

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#21 MoonlitRiver

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Posted 30 July 2013 - 04:51 PM

Hey, sorry I haven't checked on this thread in a while and wanted to reply to you all so this is going to be one massive long post!

 

So an update to just provide an example of how difficult it is to have the "I don't care, eff 'em" attitude:  My skin was not looking so great yesterday after three injections, but I still went out, as I mentioned above, and most of the day was okay.  Didn't feel confident, but facing strangers didn't bother me.  Who cares, right?

 

However, later in the afternoon I decided to visit some family friends since I was still feeling the "I don't care" mantra in my head.  Well, they stared at my skin. I mean, they were so clearly looking at my chin where the injections had turned into in small scabs. (I was really trying to not use makeup to cover it up because I'd rather let the skin breathe)  The marks were obvious, but to continue to look at them while I'm talking made me so self-conscious. I left within an hour or so.  I couldn't pretend I didn't care anymore. 

 

I got home and started crying.  I looked in the mirror and for the first time, I saw my blemishes and not ME.  Very upsetting.  So while yesterday started out ok, it ended on a sad note. 

 

Today is a new day.  Hoping to feel a little better and begrudgingly, put on more makeup and pretend that it's "fun."

 

Aww MaskedOne I'm so sorry to hear you had such a horrible experience, and with family friends no less! I hate it when people stare, like they don't know you must already be self-conscious about it. Friends especially should have more consideration as they already know the real "you" beneath it all. 

I was really lucky the other day in this respect. I had a friend I haven't seen in like 3 years turn up on my doorstep out of the blue when I had absolutely no make-up on. I'm not going to lie, I was terrified and couldn't believe that I was in that situation. I was so embarrassed and just wanted the ground to swallow me up. I was thinking "Oh no, she must think I've turned into an absolute monster!" Now I'm not going to say it was a pleasant experience. I was self-conscious in the extreme and constantly trying to hide the worst bits of my face with my hand whilst still inviting my friend in, offering drinks, and generally playing the pleasant host role. BUT all credit to my friend. She did not make a single comment on my skin. And although she did look (with a bit of badly hidden shock I may add) at my skin when I first opened the door, she didn't look at it once after that, not at all. She looked me in the eye as usual while were talking and we chatted for hours about completely normal things, like she wasn't even bothered by it all.

Whilst this does not mean I can contemplate going out and letting the wider world see me in this state, my friend did imbue me with a renewed faith in humanity. There are some good people out there who do genuinely see past your skin no matter how bad it is! Please remember that you are not your blemishes, no matter how obvious they may appear to you in the mirror. You are you and no amount of acne is ever going to change that! :)

 

Hey, im in the same boat as you. my skin sucks and it has been affecting my life the past few years. its like there is no cure. 

 

Socially I have been a wreck before just like what you are going through. I missed so many great social opportunities due to acne my senior year of high school and i told myself i would not let it happen again. Unfortunately, now i am in college and although i have gotten a little better mentally, i am still struggling when it comes to coping with my acne. I know people are looking at my skin. And the thing that sucks is that I know I am not being the real me. I used to love going out every night with my friends, but now its like i only go out if i can deal with my skin. If my skin sucks or i feel a pimple coming up, i stay in and get really depressed. I too get those days when i want to give up or just pop every nasty pimple on my face. I then get mad that i am the one in the family with the bad acne. Its as if noone understands because they have never had acne.

 

A couple years ago i had such a panic attack that i tried to overdose on pills sad.png ...that was a very sad day for me

 

I am also half spanish, so once a pimple is gone it takes a couple weeks for the mark to fade away, which sucks

 

Honestly, the best way to get through acne is staying strong with your friends family and never give up. Friends and family are who keep my going in life. Without them i would have no support and i would ultimately give up. You also need to have confidence in yourself and tell yourself you are beautiful because essentially everyone is. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I truly respect anyone who has been through the harsh times of acne because it can make you want to stay in the house until it goes away.


Unfortunately, acne is not a one day thing and because of that you just need to go out with your friends and fam and remember that ONE DAY it will go away! I honestly cannot wait for that day!! I already told myself that once my acne goes away i am eating all burgers and fries i want haha!

 

It sounds like to me that we have been through a lot of the same things.

 

I think together we can get past acne smile.png

 

Hey theperuvian. Yes it does sound like we've been going through very much the same thing! I know exactly what you mean about it seeming to change your personality. There was a time (a long time ago) when I was always up for anything social and spent more time out with my friends than I did at home. Oh how the times change! It doesn't seem fair that something that only physically affects your skin can possibly have such massive effects on your mental state. 

I'm sorry to hear about your overdose. I know how it feels when you find yourself thinking that you're utterly alone, nobody can possibly understand, and nothing will ever make your situation better. At these kind of times we have to remember to try to put things in perspective and to try to reach out for others even though it's hard. It sounds like your family and friends really want to help you and you should definitely let them in when you're feeling low.

 

I agree with you about trying to have confidence in yourself and I've been trying really hard to improve my self-esteem but whenever I do it seems to plummet again. I really need to get myself some better techniques for positive thinking. It is nice to know that I am not alone in feeling this way though. Thank you for your supportive words :)

 

I start my junior year of college in late August and I don't know what I will do to cover my acne. My face was getting better about a few months back, but then suddenly I started getting like 6 painful cysts or nodules on my chin. My cheeks are also horrible because my red marks have still not healed completely from 7 months ago. They are clearly visible because I have fair skin. So I am in the same boat.
I have not left the house during the day for months too, after I finished the spring semester of college. So for the whole summer, I only go out at night if I need to buy some food.

 

Yeh I'm very much like that as well, I barely leave the house in the university holidays when I don't have the motivation of lectures to go to. Cysts and nodules are the worst and they're so hard to cover up. I guess we just have to try to remember that there is some truth in the cliche that "we are our own worst critics". Our skin looks awful to us because we are faced with it in a mirror every day but other people mostly don't see it as badly as we do, or at least they give fewer thoughts to it when they see it because it does not directly affect their lives. If anything I assume it probably makes them feel better about their own beautiful skin! (Grumble, grumble, green eyed monster!)

 

same here, on my summer break from Uni, although i don't have acne anymore, i still have a few red marks left over from it, and just those marks sometimes put me of social events, i purposely sometimes decline an event just so i know i can have more free time for my skin to heal, even though i know my friends won't care, its just i would rather look my best if that makes sense.

 

Anyway everyone goes through these stages, you just have to live it i suppose, and i'm sure your acne phase won't last for much longer, the older you get it gets a lot easier, well for me anyway, i'm sure it will for you tooo!

 

Ps have a healthy diet if your not already.

 

Yeh it really sucks that even if we do clear up we still have so many scars and red marks to deal with! I also purposefully turn down social events sometimes just because I feel my skin needs a break from the make-up and I know it's really bad but I still can't help doing it anyway. 

Haha yeh I keep telling myself I will grow out of it but the older I get the less and less likely it seems! I hope I'm like you and it calms down a bit soon because I am seriously at the end of my tether right now, in fact I've been on the end of my tether for two years and am now clinging on to the frayed ends by my fingernails! 

I'm trying to improve my diet but it doesn't seem to have a whole lot of effect on the state of my acne. I've just started cutting out dairy over the past two weeks and am waiting to see if that will have a positive effect but I'm not holding out a lot of hope to be honest. 

 

I often feel like not leaving the house but it's only really an issue when I'm on holidays from uni and I have a lot of free time. I know I should make an effort to catch up with people and socialise etc but it's hard to do that when you feel so self-conscious and unconfident. 

So that's one good thing about being back at uni - it's a lot easier to go out because I actually have to go to class. And this way I'm out seeing friends and possibly meeting new people (if not actually meeting people, I'm still faced with being around a lot of people). I feel better about myself when I am out and about like normal.

 

I'm totally the same. I know I should catch up with people but just can't make myself when I don't have classes and academic work to motivate me. I think I also feel a bit better at uni when I'm busier and more distracted by all the things I actually have to do instead of when I'm at home and can choose to just not bother. It also means by the time I get back to uni I've got myself super nervous of people again and it all runs back into that cycle. Why does acne have to affect your whole life and all human interaction in this way?! I hate it so much! I used to be a normal sociable person at the age of 12 and acne has literally turned me into a part time recluse and a full time jibbering jellyfish when it comes to any form of social interaction. It's pathetic. 



#22 Bodie81

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Posted 30 July 2013 - 10:23 PM

It is 5:15am UK time and I have not slept a wink all night. I have to go to work today but after a nightmare CBT session yesterday (see the below link to a post I posted yesterday), I just want to curl-up, hide and not face the world.

 

http://www.acne.org/...day/?p=3370312.

 

The rational part of me knows that no one will say anything about my skin. The rational part also knows that there is so much more to me and everyone else than just our skin and appearance. However, when your therapist takes a photo of you that is hideous and ugly and then struggles to come up with any positive comment about your appearance and when you own sister pulls away from you when she goes to give you a peck on the cheek because she has noticed your breakout (this happened on Sunday), it is almost impossible to not feel repulsive and ugly.

 

MoonlitRiver, I wish that I could offer you some advice on your situation and how to get over it but I would be a hypocrite if I did as I certainly don`t practice what I preach. Sorry!



#23 MoonlitRiver

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Posted 31 July 2013 - 05:07 AM

It is 5:15am UK time and I have not slept a wink all night. I have to go to work today but after a nightmare CBT session yesterday (see the below link to a post I posted yesterday), I just want to curl-up, hide and not face the world.

 

http://www.acne.org/...day/?p=3370312.

 

The rational part of me knows that no one will say anything about my skin. The rational part also knows that there is so much more to me and everyone else than just our skin and appearance. However, when your therapist takes a photo of you that is hideous and ugly and then struggles to come up with any positive comment about your appearance and when you own sister pulls away from you when she goes to give you a peck on the cheek because she has noticed your breakout (this happened on Sunday), it is almost impossible to not feel repulsive and ugly.

 

MoonlitRiver, I wish that I could offer you some advice on your situation and how to get over it but I would be a hypocrite if I did as I certainly don`t practice what I preach. Sorry!

 

Oh dear, yeh I read your post about your CBT session yesterday. Sounds like your therapist misjudged this one. They do get it wrong sometimes, they are only human after all! It's also worth remembering that photos do not really accurately represent how people see you because they are still. Movement distracts the attention a lot and people are mostly going to be subconsciously concerned with interpreting your facial reactions to things that are going on in your conversation rather than focussing on the breakout that shows up so obviously on a still photograph.

 

I know exactly what you mean about wanting to curl up and hide away from the world. I feel like that most days as well at the moment. I know it's hypocritical for me to say as I'm really struggling with this as well at the moment but please try to remember that there's so much more to you than the state of your skin: it does not dictate what you're like as a person and people value their friends on personality much more than on appearance. Chin up GUNNKE! We will get through this one day!! :)



#24 MaskedOne

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Posted 31 July 2013 - 05:49 AM

Yeah, I'm now at this point. I don't leave the house except for doctor's appointments, which lately have all been for injections.  I can't even make it to the grocery store and I need groceries.  I'm just making due, and I really don't care.  When people stare at you and they're the nurses AT the doctor's office, it really doesn't make you feel confident going out.  It also happened at the pharmacy.   I could tell pharmacist was trying not to look at the cyst-that-makeup-can't-even-hide, but she was failing miserably. 

 

So this will sound funny, but it's the only analogy I can think of:  When men stare at women's boobs, and you'll see the woman snap her fingers and say, "hey, up here" and point to her eyes. That's what I want to say to people when they stare at my skin.

 

I haven't been out since last Friday.  Or rather, I haven't had social interaction since last Friday.


Edited by MaskedOne, 31 July 2013 - 03:41 PM.


#25 Mandarine

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Posted 31 July 2013 - 02:52 PM

Or rather, I have had social interaction since last Friday.

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM: social interaction with Mandarine on Wednesday!



#26 Bodie81

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Posted 31 July 2013 - 02:53 PM

It is 5:15am UK time and I have not slept a wink all night. I have to go to work today but after a nightmare CBT session yesterday (see the below link to a post I posted yesterday), I just want to curl-up, hide and not face the world.

 

http://www.acne.org/...day/?p=3370312.

 

The rational part of me knows that no one will say anything about my skin. The rational part also knows that there is so much more to me and everyone else than just our skin and appearance. However, when your therapist takes a photo of you that is hideous and ugly and then struggles to come up with any positive comment about your appearance and when you own sister pulls away from you when she goes to give you a peck on the cheek because she has noticed your breakout (this happened on Sunday), it is almost impossible to not feel repulsive and ugly.

 

MoonlitRiver, I wish that I could offer you some advice on your situation and how to get over it but I would be a hypocrite if I did as I certainly don`t practice what I preach. Sorry!

 

Oh dear, yeh I read your post about your CBT session yesterday. Sounds like your therapist misjudged this one. They do get it wrong sometimes, they are only human after all! It's also worth remembering that photos do not really accurately represent how people see you because they are still. Movement distracts the attention a lot and people are mostly going to be subconsciously concerned with interpreting your facial reactions to things that are going on in your conversation rather than focussing on the breakout that shows up so obviously on a still photograph.

 

I know exactly what you mean about wanting to curl up and hide away from the world. I feel like that most days as well at the moment. I know it'sT hypocritical for me to say as I'm really struggling with this as well at the moment but please try to remember that there's so much more to you than the state of your skin: it does not dictate what you're like as a person and people value their friends on personality much more than on appearance. Chin up GUNNKE! We will get through this one day!! smile.png

 

Thanks for your support MoonlitRiver - it`s much appreciated.

 

My day has been better than I anticipated when I posted my comment at five o`clock this morning! I did go to work and although I didn`t really interact a great deal, managed to have a couple of conversations with work colleagues. After work, I went shopping. Normally when I`m feeling really self-conscious, I use a self-service check-out but today I deliberately went through a manned check-out and even managed to indulge in a bit of smalltalk with the cashier. Still don`t feel that great about myself but even though it may not be much,I feel that the fact that I went to work and went shopping is a small step in the right direction.

 

I really hope things improve for you. Hope you don`t mind me saying but having read some of your posts, you seem to be struggling not just with acne but with your self-esteem in general. You may not feel that you have much going for you but I can tell from the content of your posts that you are not only an intelligent and articulate person but also a kind and compassionate person. If nothing else, these are qualities that you should feel good about and be proud of.

 

You seem to be very rational about acne and appearance insomuchas that you know that there is so much more to us all than the state of our skin. However like me, you need to learn to apply that logic to yourself.

 

All the best.


Edited by GUNNKE, 31 July 2013 - 03:09 PM.


#27 MoonlitRiver

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Posted 31 July 2013 - 03:23 PM

 

It is 5:15am UK time and I have not slept a wink all night. I have to go to work today but after a nightmare CBT session yesterday (see the below link to a post I posted yesterday), I just want to curl-up, hide and not face the world.

 

http://www.acne.org/...day/?p=3370312.

 

The rational part of me knows that no one will say anything about my skin. The rational part also knows that there is so much more to me and everyone else than just our skin and appearance. However, when your therapist takes a photo of you that is hideous and ugly and then struggles to come up with any positive comment about your appearance and when you own sister pulls away from you when she goes to give you a peck on the cheek because she has noticed your breakout (this happened on Sunday), it is almost impossible to not feel repulsive and ugly.

 

MoonlitRiver, I wish that I could offer you some advice on your situation and how to get over it but I would be a hypocrite if I did as I certainly don`t practice what I preach. Sorry!

 

Oh dear, yeh I read your post about your CBT session yesterday. Sounds like your therapist misjudged this one. They do get it wrong sometimes, they are only human after all! It's also worth remembering that photos do not really accurately represent how people see you because they are still. Movement distracts the attention a lot and people are mostly going to be subconsciously concerned with interpreting your facial reactions to things that are going on in your conversation rather than focussing on the breakout that shows up so obviously on a still photograph.

 

I know exactly what you mean about wanting to curl up and hide away from the world. I feel like that most days as well at the moment. I know it'sT hypocritical for me to say as I'm really struggling with this as well at the moment but please try to remember that there's so much more to you than the state of your skin: it does not dictate what you're like as a person and people value their friends on personality much more than on appearance. Chin up GUNNKE! We will get through this one day!! smile.png

 

Thanks for your support MoonlitRiver - it`s much appreciated.

 

My day has been better than I anticipated when I posted my comment at five o`clock this morning! I did go to work and although I didn`t really interact a great deal, managed to have a couple of conversations with work colleagues. After work, I went shopping. Normally when I`m feeling really self-conscious, I use a self-service check-out but today I deliberately went through a manned check-out and even managed to indulge in a bit of smalltalk with the cashier. Still don`t feel that great about myself but even though it may not be much,I feel that the fact that I went to work and went shopping is a small step in the right direction.

 

I really hope things improve for you. Hope you don`t mind me saying but having read some of your posts, you seem to be struggling not just with acne but with your self-esteem in general. You may not feel that you have much going for you but I can tell from the content of your posts that you are not only an intelligent and articulate person but also a kind and compassionate person. If nothing else, these are qualities that you should feel good about and be proud of.

 

You seem to be very rational about acne and appearance insomuchas that you know that there is so much more to us all than the state of our skin. However like me, you need to learn to apply that logic to yourself.

 

All the best.

 

Hey GUNNKE, I'm so glad to hear that your day turned out better than you expected! I'm another one who always goes to the self-checkouts, even if the queue's longer haha! Good on you for not doing that though and don't underrate what you achieved today either. You may call it a "small step" and other people may see it as no step at all, but those of us who know what it's like to feel so self-conscious every day of your life recognise that it really is something you should be proud of and see as a real positive step forward.

Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm embarrassed to admit that the middle paragraph quite literally brought a tear to my eye! You're quite right, I'm fully aware that my self-esteem is practically non-existent haha. Actually it's pretty far into the negative and has been for years. In fact my head's just a state in general! I like helping other people with their problems and trying to get people to think more positively about their own situation (some of my friends actually call me their "agony aunt" haha - I can't decide whether that's a compliment or not!). Unfortunately I haven't quite grasped the concept of applying this logic and perspective to myself. Maybe one day I will. But in the meantime thank you for taking the time to make me smile smile.png


Edited by MoonlitRiver, 31 July 2013 - 03:25 PM.


#28 Rosalie324

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Posted 01 August 2013 - 09:03 PM

I feel your pain completely... I have mild/slight-moderate acne on my forehead and chin, but because of my painful insecurity I haven't really left my house in 2 1/2 months. Thanks to multiple dermatologist visits I have been on a regimen for two weeks and am hoping that it kicks in soon. I do NOT want to become an agoraphobic hermit! I find that I pass the time by watching, and re-watching, and re-re-watching the Harry Potter series passes the time. Distraction also helps pass the time. For example, I make themed collages, read inspirational novels, and play online games. Yeah, doesn't sound like much of a life... because it isn't. :( Hoping and praying for improvement soon!

 

Honestly, i wouldn't wish this emotional pain on anyone, ya know? I hope you feel better soon everyone Xo



#29 MoonlitRiver

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Posted 02 August 2013 - 09:58 AM

Sounds pretty similar to my life Rosalie! Hopefully it will improve for us both soon :)

I have made some limited progress on this issue today. No, I have not actually left my house as of yet but I have made plans! I'm going out to do some fun things with a really good friend of mine on Sunday. Hopefully this can be the first baby step for me because I've lived with this person for two years before now and she knows a little bit about my skin insecurities (though not about quite how bad they've got recently!). Then I've arranged to see a friend that I haven't seen in over a year next Thursday. I'm really hoping that my skin will continue on its current path of improvement and be vaguely passable with make-up by Thursday and that she won't notice a massive difference from the last time she saw me. I know she probably wouldn't care anyway, but it's just humiliating for me if someone notices - I'm sure you all understand what I mean! 

 

So now I'm just hoping that a) my skin continues to improve b) that I actually go through with both of these arrangements when it comes down to it and c) that I might even enjoy going out, seeing these friends, and feeling more like a normal human being again! This last one's a bit of a tall ask but if either or both of the first two happen that will be enough to satisfy me for the moment and will be a great improvement on the situation I've been in for the past couple of months!

 

I hope everyone else on here is doing ok. Stay positive everyone, we can beat this! :)



#30 Lilly75

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Posted 02 August 2013 - 07:55 PM

Sounds pretty similar to my life Rosalie! Hopefully it will improve for us both soon smile.png

I have made some limited progress on this issue today. No, I have not actually left my house as of yet but I have made plans! I'm going out to do some fun things with a really good friend of mine on Sunday. Hopefully this can be the first baby step for me because I've lived with this person for two years before now and she knows a little bit about my skin insecurities (though not about quite how bad they've got recently!). Then I've arranged to see a friend that I haven't seen in over a year next Thursday. I'm really hoping that my skin will continue on its current path of improvement and be vaguely passable with make-up by Thursday and that she won't notice a massive difference from the last time she saw me. I know she probably wouldn't care anyway, but it's just humiliating for me if someone notices - I'm sure you all understand what I mean! 

 

So now I'm just hoping that a) my skin continues to improve b) that I actually go through with both of these arrangements when it comes down to it and c) that I might even enjoy going out, seeing these friends, and feeling more like a normal human being again! This last one's a bit of a tall ask but if either or both of the first two happen that will be enough to satisfy me for the moment and will be a great improvement on the situation I've been in for the past couple of months!

 

I hope everyone else on here is doing ok. Stay positive everyone, we can beat this! smile.png

 

That's great to hear! 

Going out and catching up with friends will be great for you! I know the feeling though - when I make plans with old friends and they haven't seen my skin in a while, I always feel like cancelling at the last minute but that's not fair to them. And when I do go and catch up I end up having a great time -and a lot of that has to do with the fact I get distracted from my skin and end up feeling a lot better! I don't completely forget about it but it's better than if I stayed at home where I would end up focusing on my skin so much. 

 

Hope you do go catch up with your friends and have great time! :)



#31 MoonlitRiver

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Posted 03 August 2013 - 04:06 AM

Sounds pretty similar to my life Rosalie! Hopefully it will improve for us both soon smile.png

I have made some limited progress on this issue today. No, I have not actually left my house as of yet but I have made plans! I'm going out to do some fun things with a really good friend of mine on Sunday. Hopefully this can be the first baby step for me because I've lived with this person for two years before now and she knows a little bit about my skin insecurities (though not about quite how bad they've got recently!). Then I've arranged to see a friend that I haven't seen in over a year next Thursday. I'm really hoping that my skin will continue on its current path of improvement and be vaguely passable with make-up by Thursday and that she won't notice a massive difference from the last time she saw me. I know she probably wouldn't care anyway, but it's just humiliating for me if someone notices - I'm sure you all understand what I mean! 

 

So now I'm just hoping that a) my skin continues to improve b) that I actually go through with both of these arrangements when it comes down to it and c) that I might even enjoy going out, seeing these friends, and feeling more like a normal human being again! This last one's a bit of a tall ask but if either or both of the first two happen that will be enough to satisfy me for the moment and will be a great improvement on the situation I've been in for the past couple of months!

 

I hope everyone else on here is doing ok. Stay positive everyone, we can beat this! smile.png

 

That's great to hear! 

Going out and catching up with friends will be great for you! I know the feeling though - when I make plans with old friends and they haven't seen my skin in a while, I always feel like cancelling at the last minute but that's not fair to them. And when I do go and catch up I end up having a great time -and a lot of that has to do with the fact I get distracted from my skin and end up feeling a lot better! I don't completely forget about it but it's better than if I stayed at home where I would end up focusing on my skin so much. 

 

Hope you do go catch up with your friends and have great time! smile.png

 

Thanks Lilly! You're right it's definitely time I bite the bullet and actually go out and see friends. If I cancel at the last minute I will be so furious at myself now and will probably feel even worse so I'm just going to have to go for it! Hopefully it will distract me from my skin and make me feel a bit better like it does for you :)

 

Thank you so much for your support and encouragement!



#32 BlueMoon3

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Posted 03 August 2013 - 05:55 AM

Please continue with your social plans! I know how psychologically damaging severe acne can be, and it's really tough trying to deal with the low self esteem and self-criticism. The more you allow it to affect you, the more it will consume your life. I had severe acne all over my face when I was 17, but Roaccutane helped to give me - an almost - complete remission for three years. During those three years, I was a different person. I didn't see a doctor once about my skin, as opposed to almost every three months beforehand. It was so liberating. However, as my acne has creeped back, I'm developing the same self-critical feelings, which I thought had gone completely and I wouldn't have to deal with again. It feels like I'd probably "buried" all these insecurities when my skin was clear. They never disappeared. I allowed them to build up so much when my acne was severe, that it has had a very potent affect on my wellbeing, and I am now currently trying to deal with these "past" insecurities as well as the present. It feels as if my past acne has been projected on to my face, despite my current acne not being as bad. It's almost borderline body dysmorphia, and I hate it. So please, try to get on with your life and ignore your acne. Work on your self esteem in other ways. Focus on your positive aspects. Your friends will see these in you! Instead of focusing on your acne when communicating with people, focus very deeply on something that you feel proud of. Hold yourself in a positive and happy manner, and you will radiate confidence. Your acne will most likely go unnoticed if you show the world how great you are. I like to think about this from another perspective; if I met somebody with acne that I could clearly see, I would notice their skin a lot more if they weren't smiling and trying to hide away. As I have acne myself, I would most likely feel empathetic towards them, which would draw my attention even closer to their skin. However, if I met somebody with a lot of confidence AND acne (and I have done), I would feel drawn to their positivity, and I would notice their qualities more so. I know this is all easier said than done, but acne is a horrid confidence-crusher, and it can slowly but surely eat away at your wellbeing if you allow it to. 



#33 kevindreed

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Posted 03 August 2013 - 10:20 AM

I say give this regimen 3 day test. It's either going to work the first day or it wont.

Use this regimen 2 pumps of bp and 2 pumps of cetaphil moisturizer mixed with 30 drops of jojoba oil. Use CVS oilpads to wipe away shine. Your breakouts will stop immediately and within 2 weeks all existing pimples will be gone. Big cyst will take up to 3 weeks maybe 4. But everyday they will reduce in size.



#34 MoonlitRiver

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Posted 04 August 2013 - 02:55 PM

Please continue with your social plans! I know how psychologically damaging severe acne can be, and it's really tough trying to deal with the low self esteem and self-criticism. The more you allow it to affect you, the more it will consume your life. I had severe acne all over my face when I was 17, but Roaccutane helped to give me - an almost - complete remission for three years. During those three years, I was a different person. I didn't see a doctor once about my skin, as opposed to almost every three months beforehand. It was so liberating. However, as my acne has creeped back, I'm developing the same self-critical feelings, which I thought had gone completely and I wouldn't have to deal with again. It feels like I'd probably "buried" all these insecurities when my skin was clear. They never disappeared. I allowed them to build up so much when my acne was severe, that it has had a very potent affect on my wellbeing, and I am now currently trying to deal with these "past" insecurities as well as the present. It feels as if my past acne has been projected on to my face, despite my current acne not being as bad. It's almost borderline body dysmorphia, and I hate it. So please, try to get on with your life and ignore your acne. Work on your self esteem in other ways. Focus on your positive aspects. Your friends will see these in you! Instead of focusing on your acne when communicating with people, focus very deeply on something that you feel proud of. Hold yourself in a positive and happy manner, and you will radiate confidence. Your acne will most likely go unnoticed if you show the world how great you are. I like to think about this from another perspective; if I met somebody with acne that I could clearly see, I would notice their skin a lot more if they weren't smiling and trying to hide away. As I have acne myself, I would most likely feel empathetic towards them, which would draw my attention even closer to their skin. However, if I met somebody with a lot of confidence AND acne (and I have done), I would feel drawn to their positivity, and I would notice their qualities more so. I know this is all easier said than done, but acne is a horrid confidence-crusher, and it can slowly but surely eat away at your wellbeing if you allow it to. 

 

Thank you for your reply BlueMoon3! Acne is so psychologically damaging, it's ridiculous. It's literally turned me into a completely different person. I used to be so confident, carefree and active and now I'm practically a recluse, have spent the last 2 years combatting pretty bad depression (not really sure if this was caused by the acne but obviously it doesn't exactly help!) and am ridiculously nervous around people whenever I do go out in public. Totally pathetic really, haha!

 

I'd love to think that if I ever got my acne under control I might return to that outgoing confident person I was all those years ago but I've no idea if that would actually be the case - I've never had the luxury of such an opportunity to see! My self-esteem is much better than it was (like I rarely feel pure unadulterated hatred towards myself anymore) but it's still pretty low. I try my best to appear confident and happy if I'm with my friends but I'm literally the shyest person you could ever meet so I find it really really difficult to do! Most of the time I wish the ground would just swallow me up, or I could turn invisible so no eyes or attention would be on me. It's even worse with strangers because they make me so nervous that my hands shake and I forget what I'm supposed to be saying and get all tongue-tied so I just have to find a way to get out of the situation as soon as I can. In fact I avoid talking to strangers as much as humanly possible! Again, pretty pathetic...

 

Anyway thank you very much for your advice, I will try my best to give what you suggest a go! :)

 

I say give this regimen 3 day test. It's either going to work the first day or it wont.

Use this regimen 2 pumps of bp and 2 pumps of cetaphil moisturizer mixed with 30 drops of jojoba oil. Use CVS oilpads to wipe away shine. Your breakouts will stop immediately and within 2 weeks all existing pimples will be gone. Big cyst will take up to 3 weeks maybe 4. But everyday they will reduce in size.

 

Hey kevindreed, thanks for the regimen suggestion but unfortunately I know my skin's too sensitive to deal with that amount of benzoyl peroxide - it would literally destroy it! Glad it works for you though :)



#35 Lynn8808

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Posted 04 August 2013 - 03:25 PM

I know EXACTLY what you mean. I have become so reclusive. I used to go for a long jog everyday around my neighborhood but I can't even manage to step outside without all my makeup being done. My skin is red and blotchy from scars and they look purple under my makeup. It's beyond frustratin. It's summer, I would like to go tanning, hang out with friends and not have to worry about my skin but it's impossible. So I hide inside, away from the sun, and everything else.

#36 MoonlitRiver

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Posted 07 August 2013 - 07:21 AM

I feel ya Lynn8808!

 

I'm supposed to be going out and seeing a friend tomorrow but earlier today I took a few of photos of my skin in order to post a question on another thread - BIGGEST MISTAKE EVER!!!! It looked even worse in the photos than it did to me in the mirror, and that was pretty horrific to begin with! Now all I want to do is cancel :( I know I should be grateful that my skin's improving (if only at a snail pace) but I still look like a monster and I'm still getting new stuff surfacing and it's just so depressing to wake up and look in the mirror every morning to be confronted with that! How are we expected to be able to live like this?! It's some kind of sick joke and I just can't deal with it! I've had enough now! 

 

Apologies for the miserable post. I needed to vent :(



#37 Bodie81

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Posted 07 August 2013 - 09:44 AM

Hi MoonlitRiver,

 

When I first sign in on acne.org, I usually click on the new content button and browse through some of the latest topics/posts. I did this earlier came across the epiduo thread.

 

I saw the picture of your jawline. I`m not going to lie to you and pretend that there is nothing there but having read some of your posts, I honestly expected your acne to be far worse than it actually appeared in the photo. If I had a friend who had a similar level of acne, it would not bother me in the slightest and I`m sure that is the case with the friend that you are meeting up with tomorrow.

 

What you experienced taking photos earlier sounds very similar to what happened when my photo was taken at my CBT session last week. I discussed the experience with my therapist in some detail yesterday. She mentioned that people with BDD tend to view themselves as some sort of inanimate object - for example, a painting or a picture. They think that just like a painting or a picture, their worth and value is going to be judged purely on their appearance. However unlike a painting or a picture, human beings have a multitude of other characteristics and qualities which make up the whole persona. These "x-factors" more than anything are what make you "attractive" to friends and partners and BDD sufferers tend to forget this. In the case of your friend, I`m pretty sure it is these other characteristics and qualities that you have that make them want to be your friend. Try to focus on that if you can.

 

I know it will be really hard but I do hope that you can summon up the courage to meet up with your friend tomorrow. If you do go ahead with it, I`m sure you will enjoy yourself and it will give you a boost of confidence.



#38 MoonlitRiver

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Posted 07 August 2013 - 10:11 AM

Hi MoonlitRiver,

 

When I first sign in on acne.org, I usually click on the new content button and browse through some of the latest topics/posts. I did this earlier came across the epiduo thread.

 

I saw the picture of your jawline. I`m not going to lie to you and pretend that there is nothing there but having read some of your posts, I honestly expected your acne to be far worse than it actually appeared in the photo. If I had a friend who had a similar level of acne, it would not bother me in the slightest and I`m sure that is the case with the friend that you are meeting up with tomorrow.

 

What you experienced taking photos earlier sounds very similar to what happened when my photo was taken at my CBT session last week. I discussed the experience with my therapist in some detail yesterday. She mentioned that people with BDD tend to view themselves as some sort of inanimate object - for example, a painting or a picture. They think that just like a painting or a picture, their worth and value is going to be judged purely on their appearance. However unlike a painting or a picture, human beings have a multitude of other characteristics and qualities which make up the whole persona. These "x-factors" more than anything are what make you "attractive" to friends and partners and BDD sufferers tend to forget this. In the case of your friend, I`m pretty sure it is these other characteristics and qualities that you have that make them want to be your friend. Try to focus on that if you can.

 

I know it will be really hard but I do hope that you can summon up the courage to meet up with your friend tomorrow. If you do go ahead with it, I`m sure you will enjoy yourself and it will give you a boost of confidence.

 

Thank you for the kind words again GUNNKE :) That picture was chosen by me to upload precisely because it is the "best" looking part of my face that still shows the redness thing I'm having a problem with haha! It was a completely different photo (one of my whole face) that gave me such a shock when I saw it. But thank you for saying that anyway! 

 

You'll probably think this is really stupid but I'm afraid I have no idea what this BDD thing is though I get what your therapist was saying about thinking of yourself as an inanimate object to be valued purely on its appearance. When I think of the things I like about my friends they're always things to do with their personality not their appearance but it's really hard to try to apply the same principles to yourself! I will try my best to focus on that as you suggest, although I'm just as critical about my personality as I am about my appearance in truth! 

 

I will try to go through with it. I didn't end up doing the thing I had planned on Sunday but for once this wasn't actually to do with my skin (apparently toes don't appreciate you dropping full lever-arch files on them) so I've missed the middle step now but hopefully tomorrow will still help in any case :)



#39 Bodie81

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Posted 07 August 2013 - 11:59 AM

Sorry MoonlightRiver!

 

BDD is an abbreviation for body dysmorphic disorder - an anxiety disorder where the sufferer spends a lot of time worrying about their appearance and has a distorted view of how they look. It is usually focused on a minor flaw like a small scar for example or it could be an entirely imaginary flaw and it can be on any part of the body. In both cases, the sufferer is convinced that the flaw is abnormal and believes they are ugly or defective.

 

Acne dysmorphia is a related condition where the focus of anxiety is related to the skin and the condition of skin. Very often, the sufferer has mild acne or no acne at all but they still believe that their condition is severe and that they are repulsive and ugly.

 

If you want to know more,there are probably plenty of people on these forums who could explain both conditions better than I have. Alternatively, below is a wikipedia link:

 

http://en.wikipedia....orphic_disorder

 

I`ve never been officially "diagnosed" but my CBT therapist thinks but I have traits of both conditions. I would have to agree.

 

By the way, hope you don`t think that I was trying to imply that you have either of these.



#40 MoonlitRiver

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Posted 07 August 2013 - 12:39 PM

Sorry MoonlightRiver!

 

BDD is an abbreviation for body dysmorphic disorder - an anxiety disorder where the sufferer spends a lot of time worrying about their appearance and has a distorted view of how they look. It is usually focused on a minor flaw like a small scar for example or it could be an entirely imaginary flaw and it can be on any part of the body. In both cases, the sufferer is convinced that the flaw is abnormal and believes they are ugly or defective.

 

Acne dysmorphia is a related condition where the focus of anxiety is related to the skin and the condition of skin. Very often, the sufferer has mild acne or no acne at all but they still believe that their condition is severe and that they are repulsive and ugly.

 

If you want to know more,there are probably plenty of people on these forums who could explain both conditions better than I have. Alternatively, below is a wikipedia link:

 

http://en.wikipedia....orphic_disorder

 

I`ve never been officially "diagnosed" but my CBT therapist thinks but I have traits of both conditions. I would have to agree.

 

By the way, hope you don`t think that I was trying to imply that you have either of these.

 

 

Thank you for explaining! And for the wiki link. I've never heard of either of those conditions before but it made interesting, if kind of unpleasant, reading. 

 

From my experience I'd guess that acne sufferers in general get a lot of those symptoms anyway. Presumably the difference between standard acne-related obsessive/depressive/anxiety symptoms and acne dysmorphia is the actual presence of moderate/severe acne then? Shame the only treatment for those symptoms in people with real bad acne is to get rid of the acne seeing as that seems to be so very difficult to do! I think I'd rather it were all or mostly in my head...






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