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Has Anyone Else Got To The Stage Of Not Leaving The House?

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Moonlit River, I`m really sorry for ever bringing up the subject of BDD/acne dysmorphia. I`m worried that you are going to obsess yourself over it and it will be down to me.

It could well be that you have some of the characteristics and traits associated with acne dysmorphia but I`m not an expert or a medical professional. I`m just someone who has read up a little bit on the subject and come across the term acne dysmorphia during the course of their CBT. You can take what I say with a pinch of salt because I`m not qualified to make an assessment.

It does not change your situation at all. You have taken a really positive step today and you should be congratulating yourself on that. I know how hard it must have been to meet up with your friend today. However, you did it and that is what you should be focusing on - not a little known psychological condition that some random bloke on an internet forum has told you about.

Sorry GUNNKE I didn't mean to freak you out and I should never have outpoured at you like that either. That was my mistake so please forgive me for it. And sorry for quizzing you about the acne dysmorphia, I was just interested is all.

Thanks for the encouragement about going out. It's nice to know there's at least one other living person out there who understands what a big step it was for me so thank you for that.

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Thanks Moonlit River.

And yes, I can totally understand what a big step it was for you today - you should be proud of yourself.

All the best!

Edit:

I`ll try to keep this brief but just thought I would say this so whole the am I, aren`t I acne dysmorphic thingy can be put to bed.

During the course of my CBT, the subject of acne dysmorphia has been brought up because of my beliefs about myself and my consequent behaviours.

In my case, I often believe that acne type blemishes make me repulsive, hideous and ugly. As a result of these beliefs, I have indulged in behaviours such as mirror checking, seeking reassurance from others on the state of my skin,obsessing over my diet and cleansing routine, camouflaging certain parts of my body (I never wear shorts or sunbathe), avoiding social situations and generally obsessing over anything related to the condition of my skin.

If all of this makes me acne dysmorphic then so be it. At the end of the day, it is only a label to categorize me with and it is not important. What is much more important is to work on my behaviours and my way of thinking so that I can "challenge" those core beliefs that I have about myself.

I have used myself as an example just to highlight to you Moonlit River and anyone else who reads this that even if you are acne dysmorphic, it is not important. As I said, it is just a neat label to categorize you with and doesn`t change anything. It`s what you do to change your behaviours and way of thinking so that you can challenge the beliefs that you have about yourself that is far more important.

Hope you get the point that I`m trying to make.

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Ok so I've had moderate acne for the past 8 or so years (started at 13, now 21) and during that time I've become increasingly introverted and nervous around people. I've always avoided big social situations as much as possible but I did actually have some sort of social life (albeit quite a restricted one) until quite recently with the help of the wondrous invention of foundation.

However, in the past few months I've developed severe cystic acne which can no longer be successfully covered up by make-up and, with the exception of my graduation ceremony last week, I haven't actually left the house in about 2 months. My friends keep texting and calling asking me to go out and do things with people but I literally feel like a monster even with a tonne of foundation on because it just doesn't cover up these huge cysts any more. Obviously I'm on various treatments and trying everything I possibly can to improve my skin but it all works so slowly and in the meantime it's just painful, swollen and ugly every minute of the day and I'm too embarrassed to even contemplate showing my face to the outside world. What a sad and sorry existence indeed! It feels like it will never end and I'm so incredibly bored and miserable!!!

Does anyone else have this issue? How on earth are you supposed to get around it and have anything resembling a normal life? And does anyone know of anything that can make these massive deep cysts hurt any less and/or reduce their size?

Sorry for the long rant I just needed to vent to somebody who might actually understand why I feel like this. Any advice would be seriously appreciated!

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I feel the exact same way. I'm 18 and have been suffering with acne for so so long. Its a combination of genetics and hormones so I get the really huge painful ones under my skin, on top of the regular breakouts all over the face as well. I've been obsessing to the point of where I would just examine how ugly my face is with each pimple. Comments flow in from everywhere saying "do this, do that, do you wash your face?, etc. At this point, I've given up going out in the daytime unless it's either my family or my best friends that i'm with, because they know how my skin is, and this makes me feel ALOT better because I can get out and enjoy life without being so self-conscious about myself.

Feel a bit relieved to see that someone is on the same boat as me though! As for makeup, after much experimentation I have come to the conclusion that with cystic acne, the only makeup worth putting on is concealer for the dark spots as it does nothing to cover the size of the pimples. Although it may not seem like a good thing, this means that there is less makeup on your face, and I don't know about you but that makes me feel a lot better! What I do is I go a bit heavy on the eye makeup so that at least I get compliments on my eyes shy.gif .

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My dad has now taken to asking me on a daily basis "How close do you think you are to going out now?" and I just don't even know how to answer. I don't feel any closer, I feel like I just want to hide away forever but he looks so expectant each time that it makes me feel really bad for giving a negative response. I'm also absolutely dreading when university term starts again because I'll be living in a house with three other people and they're going to end up seeing me without my make-up at some point and they're going to think I look like such a monster! :( It's really sad because I'm so looking forward to my course and would be really excited about the next year if it weren't for this stupid acne. Why does acne have to ruin every little thing in life?! As it is I'm absolutely dreading it and just don't know how I'm going to cope with having to live with other people and leave the house and face the outside world every single day of the week. I know that sounds totally pathetic, but I literally don't even know how to cope with that much people exposure anymore. Anyone got any tips?

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SangeethaS, on 13 Aug 2013 - 01:24, said:snapback.png

I feel the exact same way. I'm 18 and have been suffering with acne for so so long. Its a combination of genetics and hormones so I get the really huge painful ones under my skin, on top of the regular breakouts all over the face as well. I've been obsessing to the point of where I would just examine how ugly my face is with each pimple. Comments flow in from everywhere saying "do this, do that, do you wash your face?, etc. At this point, I've given up going out in the daytime unless it's either my family or my best friends that i'm with, because they know how my skin is, and this makes me feel ALOT better because I can get out and enjoy life without being so self-conscious about myself.

Feel a bit relieved to see that someone is on the same boat as me though! As for makeup, after much experimentation I have come to the conclusion that with cystic acne, the only makeup worth putting on is concealer for the dark spots as it does nothing to cover the size of the pimples. Although it may not seem like a good thing, this means that there is less makeup on your face, and I don't know about you but that makes me feel a lot better! What I do is I go a bit heavy on the eye makeup so that at least I get compliments on my eyes shy.gif .

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Lets just say that i have started missing college because of this mighty zit on my nose. :/

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I'm so glad you brought up the slouching position idea, I do the exact same. I avoid areas where there is direct or reflected sunlight as it brings out the bumps on my face. This includes sitting away from any window seats, and sitting in poorly lit areas in general. Another thing that I have to do to cover at least some of my zits is leaving my hair out so that it covers the sides of my face, where I have many many scars. Can get super annoying, especially on really hot days. But I've noticed that wearing baseball caps (if youre the sporty type) or large sunhats can take away from any huge bumps because your face is no longer brightened up as the focal point.

SangeethaS, on 13 Aug 2013 - 01:24, said:snapback.png

I feel the exact same way. I'm 18 and have been suffering with acne for so so long. Its a combination of genetics and hormones so I get the really huge painful ones under my skin, on top of the regular breakouts all over the face as well. I've been obsessing to the point of where I would just examine how ugly my face is with each pimple. Comments flow in from everywhere saying "do this, do that, do you wash your face?, etc. At this point, I've given up going out in the daytime unless it's either my family or my best friends that i'm with, because they know how my skin is, and this makes me feel ALOT better because I can get out and enjoy life without being so self-conscious about myself.

Feel a bit relieved to see that someone is on the same boat as me though! As for makeup, after much experimentation I have come to the conclusion that with cystic acne, the only makeup worth putting on is concealer for the dark spots as it does nothing to cover the size of the pimples. Although it may not seem like a good thing, this means that there is less makeup on your face, and I don't know about you but that makes me feel a lot better! What I do is I go a bit heavy on the eye makeup so that at least I get compliments on my eyes shy.gif .

>

Thank you so much for your reply! I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this as well but it is also nice to feel I'm not totally alone in experiencing this. I hate it when other people make comments when really they don't have the first clue about acne. I know they're only trying to help and all but it just makes you feel so much worse! That's great that you can go out with your family and friends without feeling self-conscious. Only my parents know what my skin is like without make-up so I spend most of the time in the house at the moment. I'm just really worried about going back to university after the summer now because I'll be living in a house with three of my friends who have never seen me without make-up before and are just going to think I look like a monster sad.png

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My dad said to me today: "I saw a girl with acne just as bad as yours at the checkout in Sainsbury's today and she obviously gets out every day and goes to work without any problems. Why can't you be like that?!" ... Thanks dad, thank you so much for your sensitivity and understanding...

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Ouch. I remember the breaking point for me, when I realised my skin actually pretty bad (I was trying to pretend it wasn't), was when my mum spoke to me about it, suggesting I get some kind of treatment. She was being supportive and helpful, and she still is, but it was really a blow for me, to hear someone else (especially a parent) come right out and tell me that my skin looked "really bad."

A comment like that is really hurtful. If you don't have experience with pretty bad acne, I really don't think you can totally understand how really really really hard it is to motivate yourself to go out. I suppose maybe your dad is worried for you, that you spend so much time at home now when you used to be more outgoing and active? Although he could be more tactful :errr:

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Ouch. I remember the breaking point for me, when I realised my skin actually pretty bad (I was trying to pretend it wasn't), was when my mum spoke to me about it, suggesting I get some kind of treatment. She was being supportive and helpful, and she still is, but it was really a blow for me, to hear someone else (especially a parent) come right out and tell me that my skin looked "really bad."

A comment like that is really hurtful. If you don't have experience with pretty bad acne, I really don't think you can totally understand how really really really hard it is to motivate yourself to go out. I suppose maybe your dad is worried for you, that you spend so much time at home now when you used to be more outgoing and active? Although he could be more tactful errr.gif

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Yeah, I hear you on it hurting. i try to be flippant about my acne at times, but really I'm just covering up the hurt, like a coping mechanism. My skin is definitely the elephant in the room at home, but talking about it bluntly kinda hurts a lot.

I'm absolutely petrified about uni though. Classes start back in two weeks for me, and my skin is a lot worse than it ever looked last year. It's going to be really tough. But I hope I can stick it out and not miss classes too often/at all, because I really enjoy school and I'd be really angry if I let my acne win. I'm so grateful I have long hair, lol. :P

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My dad said to me today: "I saw a girl with acne just as bad as yours at the checkout in Sainsbury's today and she obviously gets out every day and goes to work without any problems. Why can't you be like that?!" ... Thanks dad, thank you so much for your sensitivity and understanding...

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Your dad probably wasn`t deliberately trying to be insensitive but I can see how his comment didn`t exactly help you.

When I was about 19 or 20 and spending most of my time sat in my room at home, I remember on a hot summer`s day my stepdad said to me: "if you get out in the sun, it will clear up your skin". He was probably trying to be helpful but the fact that he pointed out my problem skin made me feel really crap!

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The other day I went to a shop and when I got to the checkout the woman working was very friendly and gave me a big smile and most importantly looked me in the eyes when she spoke to me. I really felt better after I left the store, because it made me realise that a lot of the desperate and terrified thoughts that run through my head, worries about what others are thinking of my face etc., are really irrational. The problem is, I'm finding it harder and harder to remember this when I;m sitting at home, debating about going out somewhere.

I'm just hoping that once this is all over, (and please, may it end one day), when my skin is clear.. I won't retain all these anxieties and fears, that would be so incredibly frustrating!!

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I've had similar things with my mum where she'll come home and say something to me like 'Today I saw a girl / guy who had bad skin too' - as if reassuring me that other people have issues with their skin but still manage to be confident and outgoing all the time. She probably doesn't realise but the first thing I get from hearing that is that people see my skin as being bad.

Sometimes it's worse when she comments on seeing a really pretty/attractive person and she'll go on about how nice their skin / hair / eyes / height whatever were. And then it makes me aware of how easily she can comment on another persons good looks but I can't recall her telling me I looked nice or anything like that... (I don't need her to say that sort of thing it's just that I'm suddenly aware of that when this sort of topic comes up).

I don't know... I tend to over think most things but hearing all that sort of thing just sets in my mind even more that appearance really does matter, as much as people try and say it doesn't. I guess when it comes to knowing a person and connecting with a person, appearance doesn't matter so much but I think everyone, without realising or meaning to, judges or forms an opinion of a person in the first few seconds of seeing them... so having 'bad skin' and not being 'pretty' must really impact on that...

But then again, confidence does change everything. If I could manage to be more confident (and it's slowly becoming a little easier as my skin starts to improve) I'm sure a lot of things could be better.

My dad is pretty good though when it comes to this sort of thing. I don't think he has any idea of how my skin has effected me but at the same time seems to know it's something I don't want attention brought to and so never comments on my skin unless I've been the one to bring it up.

And like syllacrostics said, I hope that I can leave these anxieties etc that I've developed behind me one day! I've heard that mothers in particular can cause/contribute to body image / self confidence issues in their children / daughters by being concerned with their own appearance or making comments about their own weight etc - and if I were to ever have children, I'd hate for them to go through the same or worse image issues I have, especially if I had 'caused' it to happen to them. I'd want my kids to be happy and confident and love themselves! But good thing I don't plan on kids any time soon - I would not be a good 'role model' for that sort of thing at this point :P

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Yea. My parents say that im like the worst 19-20 year old there is and that im lazy and going to become such a bum because I sit at home all the time. I'm so tired of hearing that from them...It's not that I just want to sit here on the computer, but I want to go hang out and do normal things and see cool places ect.. I love the thought of all this, but acne is just forcing me to sit here and do nothing with my time. I don't even know... When I try to explain to my parents about acne being the reason im sitting here, then they think I'm crazy or need help and that its just a excuse. Man does it make me furious. "Your almost a grown adult, you need to be working as much as possible and stop acting like a kid, now go do something". -My MOM every day

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It did happened to me when i was probably like 15 or 16 years old. I would just sit on my bed and cry, cry and cry all day. Saying to myself how miserable my life is and that is so unfair that i can´t enjoy life like others. But that was in the past baby, now i still have acne, but i still don´t give a crap. Today i wore my best outfit, high heels, my wild curly hair and i went outside (i had to pick up my mom from my sister´s house) everybody where staring at me, guys and girls, but not staring at me because of my skin but because how confident i looked. Some girls gave me dirty looks of jealousy, other girls said things to me like ´´how pretty you are´´ (yes some of this girls where lesbians) and guys just couldn´t take their eyes out of me. But it´s not because i think i´m pretty or anything like that. Is because there are days that i just don´t care what others can say about my acne, if i feel pretty inside and out am not gonna let anyone put me down. And believe me, when you show confidence in yourself that´s all people are going to see. But if you go feeling all crap believe me you can be the target for bullies. It all depends on how you look at yourself in the mirror. Oh and i forgot to say that i went outside with no makeup, like no foundation just mascara and lipstick that´s it. And i can tell you that i never felt so beautiful before like i did today :)

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Ok so I've had moderate acne for the past 8 or so years (started at 13, now 21) and during that time I've become increasingly introverted and nervous around people. I've always avoided big social situations as much as possible but I did actually have some sort of social life (albeit quite a restricted one) until quite recently with the help of the wondrous invention of foundation.

However, in the past few months I've developed severe cystic acne which can no longer be successfully covered up by make-up and, with the exception of my graduation ceremony last week, I haven't actually left the house in about 2 months. My friends keep texting and calling asking me to go out and do things with people but I literally feel like a monster even with a tonne of foundation on because it just doesn't cover up these huge cysts any more. Obviously I'm on various treatments and trying everything I possibly can to improve my skin but it all works so slowly and in the meantime it's just painful, swollen and ugly every minute of the day and I'm too embarrassed to even contemplate showing my face to the outside world. What a sad and sorry existence indeed! It feels like it will never end and I'm so incredibly bored and miserable!!!

Does anyone else have this issue? How on earth are you supposed to get around it and have anything resembling a normal life? And does anyone know of anything that can make these massive deep cysts hurt any less and/or reduce their size?

Sorry for the long rant I just needed to vent to somebody who might actually understand why I feel like this. Any advice would be seriously appreciated!

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OMG I will not go out unless I really have to. Im 47 years old and just retired this July an I have been prisoner for the whole summer. I just started accutane yesterday an I can't wait for it to work. Right now I have one healing cyst, two that were coming and a horrible wound from a cyst right across my nose that just won't heal. I guess I will never get out of this house. Im just so upset because I feel the doctor should of put me on accutane long ago. I requested the accutane myself. Im to the point that I will try anything no matter the risk. I have always had beautiful skin an I am just so upset about this whole thing. So I can relate.

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I've had similar things with my mum where she'll come home and say something to me like 'Today I saw a girl / guy who had bad skin too' - as if reassuring me that other people have issues with their skin but still manage to be confident and outgoing all the time. She probably doesn't realise but the first thing I get from hearing that is that people see my skin as being bad.

Sometimes it's worse when she comments on seeing a really pretty/attractive person and she'll go on about how nice their skin / hair / eyes / height whatever were. And then it makes me aware of how easily she can comment on another persons good looks but I can't recall her telling me I looked nice or anything like that... (I don't need her to say that sort of thing it's just that I'm suddenly aware of that when this sort of topic comes up).

I don't know... I tend to over think most things but hearing all that sort of thing just sets in my mind even more that appearance really does matter, as much as people try and say it doesn't. I guess when it comes to knowing a person and connecting with a person, appearance doesn't matter so much but I think everyone, without realising or meaning to, judges or forms an opinion of a person in the first few seconds of seeing them... so having 'bad skin' and not being 'pretty' must really impact on that...

But then again, confidence does change everything. If I could manage to be more confident (and it's slowly becoming a little easier as my skin starts to improve) I'm sure a lot of things could be better.

My dad is pretty good though when it comes to this sort of thing. I don't think he has any idea of how my skin has effected me but at the same time seems to know it's something I don't want attention brought to and so never comments on my skin unless I've been the one to bring it up.

And like syllacrostics said, I hope that I can leave these anxieties etc that I've developed behind me one day! I've heard that mothers in particular can cause/contribute to body image / self confidence issues in their children / daughters by being concerned with their own appearance or making comments about their own weight etc - and if I were to ever have children, I'd hate for them to go through the same or worse image issues I have, especially if I had 'caused' it to happen to them. I'd want my kids to be happy and confident and love themselves! But good thing I don't plan on kids any time soon - I would not be a good 'role model' for that sort of thing at this point tongue.png

Your Mum sounds a lot like mine haha. She always means well (and I love her dearly) but sometimes I think she fails to realise how much my acne gets me down. She will often comment on how my skin is looking a bit worse, from the view point of a concerned mum, but she forgets this is just reminding me of the problem. It's not like I hadn't already noticed!! I've also noticed for a long time that whenever we go out somewhere as a family, she always tells my brother (who has perfect skin) that he is looking good but I never, ever get a compliment.

It does make you wonder what other people think about your appearance. I really don't consider myself to be attractive at all, so I know I always come across as very shy (especially around girls). But if I had more confidence, then even if people didn't find me physically attractive, there would be more of a chance they'd be attracted to me because of my personality. I know there will always be shallow people, but most probably couldn't care less that we have acne. Hopefully one day soon we will all have nice clear skin, and can go back to just simply being ourselves. One thing is for sure, when I have children (hopefully I can find someone willing to have them with me hahaha) I will do everything I can to ensure they have good self esteem and don't go through what many of us have. It's just not fun.

Haha same thing with my brother / mum in a way. He nearly always has perfect skin too but he will ocassionally have some mild breakouts and when that happens Mum will be worrying over him and suggesting he use whatever face wash and asks me which brand / ingredient would help (Yeah me.. because apparently I'm the acne expert I guess? thanks mum :P) because she doesn't want his to get worse and scar. But she never showed that concern for me in that sense as far as I can recall. But all that aside I still love my parents and brother.

And yeah same here - I wouldn't say I'm attractive and if anyone ever comments to me otherwise I assume their just being nice or messing with me depending on who it is (which I guess shows how shot my self-confidence has become). But in recent weeks I have noticed myself becoming a little more confident - it's a bit of a roller coaster though - I've been breaking out again lately and that's making me want to hide away again...

And yes - I agree completely - I'd do the same for my kids when I (hopefully) have a family one day. :P

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I'm at that point right now. Its horrible because this boy keeps asking me to go on a date with him and i say no every time due to my acne, but i really wanna go! No one around me has bad acne like i do. I also wear foundation, but it doesn't help that much. It just makes me feel like people think I'm a cake face and they can still see my acne underneath. And to make it worse i have my family constantly forcing me to go out when all i really want is to be left alone and cry because they don't know what its like.

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Go and meet up with him!! I'm assuming he's seen you and knows you have acne and he's asking you out knowing that! smile.png It doesn't matter to him.

And you said you want to go so you should! I'm sure you'll have a great time if you go smile.png You don't want it to end up being a 'missed chance' - it's not a good feeling

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i was getting horrible cystic acne on my neck and jawline. and for about a year the only times i'd out was to work. i wouldn't go out for anything else, except on the odd occasion when my skin was ok.

i thought i'd cured it about 3 months ago, and was so nice to be able to go out in public again and not feel like people are starring. but for some reason it's come back the past few days so suffering again with the feeling of being trapped inside.

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I feel the exact same way. I'm 18 and have been suffering with acne for so so long. Its a combination of genetics and hormones so I get the really huge painful ones under my skin, on top of the regular breakouts all over the face as well. I've been obsessing to the point of where I would just examine how ugly my face is with each pimple. Comments flow in from everywhere saying "do this, do that, do you wash your face?, etc. At this point, I've given up going out in the daytime unless it's either my family or my best friends that i'm with, because they know how my skin is, and this makes me feel ALOT better because I can get out and enjoy life without being so self-conscious about myself.

Feel a bit relieved to see that someone is on the same boat as me though! As for makeup, after much experimentation I have come to the conclusion that with cystic acne, the only makeup worth putting on is concealer for the dark spots as it does nothing to cover the size of the pimples. Although it may not seem like a good thing, this means that there is less makeup on your face, and I don't know about you but that makes me feel a lot better! What I do is I go a bit heavy on the eye makeup so that at least I get compliments on my eyes shy.gif .

Thank you so much for your reply! I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this as well but it is also nice to feel I'm not totally alone in experiencing this. I hate it when other people make comments when really they don't have the first clue about acne. I know they're only trying to help and all but it just makes you feel so much worse! That's great that you can go out with your family and friends without feeling self-conscious. Only my parents know what my skin is like without make-up so I spend most of the time in the house at the moment. I'm just really worried about going back to university after the summer now because I'll be living in a house with three of my friends who have never seen me without make-up before and are just going to think I look like a monster sad.png

Make-up with cysts is such a nightmare! I always still go for the full foundation but it does nothing to cover the bumpy appearance as you say. If I put less make-up on I just feel more self-conscious and therefore much much worse so it's not even worth me trying to cut down on it because I just end up not talking to anyone. Haha good shout with the eye make-up! I used to always do that in my teens but now I don't wear eye make-up at all because I don't want to do anything that draws any extra attention to my face. I also don't wear jewellery except on my wrists for exactly the same reason. Kind of sad really...

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