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I Feel Like An Ugly Monster


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#1 mk226

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Posted 20 July 2013 - 09:02 PM

ok, so I am a pretty girl.. or lets say I 'would be' if it weren't for the post acne marks. And this is allllll I can think about. Sometimes I lay in bed thinking how much easier life would be if I didn't have these marks, how I would feel and how energetic I would be about life. I take my thoughts sooo far that I actually start thinking I'm a monster.. not kidding.. and then I run to the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror to prove myself wrong.. im really going crazy.. someone please show me the light..:(



#2 ThisShitSucks

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Posted 20 July 2013 - 10:12 PM

Trust me when I say I know exactly how you feel (there's a reason i'm browsing through this section of the forum), but we really have to focus on the positive. There are so many worse afflictions that others have to face. Think of how different your life would be if, instead of developing this horrible acne, you developed a fast growing stage of cancer. OR if you had contracted HIV/AIDS at no fault of your own. Or if you became paralyzed from a car accident? These are very real and very terrifying scenarios that other individuals find themselves battling. When putting this in perspective, our battle with any acne (or resulting scars) almost seems silly. You're right though, it sucks. It really sucks. And I will continue to research and fight mine. But life is too short to allow this to ruin too much time.



#3 mk226

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Posted 20 July 2013 - 11:10 PM

thank you so much for the encouraging post. You are absolutely right. Sometimes I feel God gave me this to avoid giving me a bigger challenge in life! I thank God for what hes given me but become a thankless creature sometimes.. I almost get a panic attack sometimes and  then I think maybe I should see a psychiatrist.. maybe im just making acne an excuse for some undiagnosed psychiatric illness.. im a very functional mother of one and work too.. I guess u should keep myself busy and not look in the mirror too much



#4 snsdgirl14

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Posted 21 July 2013 - 12:14 AM

Maybe you should start seeing a therapist. I started having severe problems with body dysmorphia and OCD relating to my skin/acne last year. I was basically having panic attacks even over one small mark on my skin. I wouldn't eat, wouldn't leave my room, kept calling my family in tears and saying I wanted to leave school. It was a nightmare. I also did the "mirror check" thing all the time, where I'd constantly go to the mirror and 'check' my reflection to see if it was as bad as I imagined. 

 

I started getting therapy and have been a lot better ever since. I recommend you do the same, and resist the urge to go to the mirror!



#5 mk226

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Posted 21 July 2013 - 01:56 PM

I do get panic attacks too.. and fear that if I get even one more mark on my face, I'd have an attack.. I feel this feeling will never go away..



#6 TheFearlessFace

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Posted 21 July 2013 - 07:32 PM

Oh, sweet dear! Let's just stop at the first sentence. You are a pretty girl. I've been there, with bad skin, and I know how it feels. And I used to let it ruin my mood and my days. Please don't let it! Your thoughts truly create your reality. If you believe it, that's what it is. Find something you enjoy doing and that makes you happy. Get outside, exercise is great. Anything to take your mind off your skin. I know it's hard, but try to have a bit of an "I don't care" attitude. The less you think about it and worry, the less stress you will have, and the better your skin will become! Do not worry! You will be fine.



#7 FreshStart2014

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Posted 21 July 2013 - 08:05 PM

I've been paralyzed by my acne and scars. And the amount of time I've spent checking my face in mirrors is insane. Meds and therapy are helping me get things under control. I still have days where my complexion really bothers me but it's getting better. Try getting professional help. Panic attacks and anxiety is not fun. Good luck!

#8 Rosalie324

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Posted 01 August 2013 - 09:26 PM

Maybe you should start seeing a therapist. I started having severe problems with body dysmorphia and OCD relating to my skin/acne last year. I was basically having panic attacks even over one small mark on my skin. I wouldn't eat, wouldn't leave my room, kept calling my family in tears and saying I wanted to leave school. It was a nightmare. I also did the "mirror check" thing all the time, where I'd constantly go to the mirror and 'check' my reflection to see if it was as bad as I imagined. 

 

I started getting therapy and have been a lot better ever since. I recommend you do the same, and resist the urge to go to the mirror!

 

I am going through this exact situation right now. It's gotten so bad... I do the opposite of the mirror checking though. I avoid reflective surfaces at all costs, I even wash my face, brush my teeth, and shower with the lights off. Going to a psychiatrist this week, so I'm hoping for some relief. Has anyone here ever had problems with "feeling" their skin? Like having a compulsion to touch their face and feel the perceived imperfections on your face? I am constantly washing my hands and keeping them clean just so I can indulge in this ludicrous behavior :(



#9 kevindreed

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Posted 03 August 2013 - 10:25 AM

Your still in the stage where your looking for what works for you.

Use this regimen 2 pumps of bp and 2 pumps of cetaphil moisturizer mixed with 30 drops of jojoba oil. Use CVS oilpads to wipe away shine. Your breakouts will stop immediately and within 2 weeks all existing pimples will be gone.



#10 Lynn8808

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Posted 08 August 2013 - 12:20 PM

Maybe you should start seeing a therapist. I started having severe problems with body dysmorphia and OCD relating to my skin/acne last year. I was basically having panic attacks even over one small mark on my skin. I wouldn't eat, wouldn't leave my room, kept calling my family in tears and saying I wanted to leave school. It was a nightmare. I also did the "mirror check" thing all the time, where I'd constantly go to the mirror and 'check' my reflection to see if it was as bad as I imagined. 

 

I started getting therapy and have been a lot better ever since. I recommend you do the same, and resist the urge to go to the mirror!

 

I am going through this exact situation right now. It's gotten so bad... I do the opposite of the mirror checking though. I avoid reflective surfaces at all costs, I even wash my face, brush my teeth, and shower with the lights off. Going to a psychiatrist this week, so I'm hoping for some relief. Has anyone here ever had problems with "feeling" their skin? Like having a compulsion to touch their face and feel the perceived imperfections on your face? I am constantly washing my hands and keeping them clean just so I can indulge in this ludicrous behavior sad.png

That sounds EXACTLY  like me. Can't look at myself unless absolutely necessary. I put my makeup on in the dark.. and look down constantly when brushing my teeth or simply walk out of the bathroom. And I persistently feel my face, like it's going to somehow magically disappear in hours. I feel like a hideous monsters too. Whenever my family or anyone tries to have a conversation with me, I turn my back to them so they don't have to see my face. The most frustrating part is I have red scars from acne, they're not even bumps!! They just look like it. They look disgusting. To keep myself from picking at my face, I bite my nails. I go from one bad habit to another:(



#11 hedgecore

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Posted 08 August 2013 - 01:47 PM

I watch fightclub and it makes me think of my acne as some petty little problem, I still got my legs and my finger and toes and my mind , just pray to god if all else fail , I know what u are going through, I look at the mirror everyday, but I still have.the balls to go outside !! & my friend that still go into public with me , so I know.theres people that dont give two shits about.how u look on the outside! &those.are.the.people u should value....and most importantly yourself

#12 Supernova30

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Posted 08 August 2013 - 06:24 PM

I could have written most of this. I vary between obsessive mirror checking and avoiding mirrors all together. I get on the verge of panic attacks. And the reality is that my skin isn't that bad. I am mostly clear but tend to get one really terrible pimple at a time that lasts for months sometimes and I seriously become convinced that it's like the worst pimple that ever existed on anyone. And then terrible self-consciousness keeps me from enjoying life. 

 

The thing is, when I look at people's photos here who are complaining about a bad pimple or scar it never looks that bad to me. I always think mine looks worse. But it can't really be the worst can it? It just goes to show you how much more harshly we judge ourselves I guess.


Edited by Supernova30, 08 August 2013 - 06:25 PM.





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