Week 1, Day 1: New Beginnings
Well I'm finally doing it...two things actually. 1) After creeping all over these forums for the past few months I've decided to journal about my experience with acne; and 2) I've taken the plunge and popped my first Accutane pill. I couldn't be more excited and I don't think I could have waited another day. Acne has been dominating my life in a major way for the past few years, and I'm happy to finally put it behind me once and for all. I'm 25, and whether it was hormones, starting law school, a bad reaction to birth control, or something else, my face just exploded a couple years ago and I haven't been able to regain control ever since.
I had always suffered from minor to moderate acne from the time I hit 12 or 13, but these past few years I have had severe, cystic acne, mostly along my jawline, by my ears, and on my temples. In fact, when I walked into my dermatologist's office a month ago without makeup on and announced that I was there about my acne, he quickly replied, "I can see that," and proceeded to tell me that Accutane is made for people like me. Well, I'm glad that there is something out there for people like me, because dealing with acne has been one of the most frustrating, demoralizing, emotional experiences of my life.
I'm also excited to get this treatment under way because I'm getting married next summer and want to feel beautiful and confident when I walk down the aisle in front of all of my family and friends. That's the other thing - I've noticed that over the past year I have avoided spending time with people I care about or going out in public when I don't have to, because I don't want people to see my awful complexion. I know that it seems so much worse to me than it is to anyone else, but I've felt so embarrassed and ashamed that I try to avoid everyone - I know it's not my fault, but it's easy to tell yourself that and impossible to believe it when you look in the mirror.
Anyhow, I don't want this to get too long, and I'm sure I'll write about things I have felt before and feelings along the way as I chart my way through this wonder drug, but I wanted to get something down and join this community. This website has been extremely helpful and comforting to me, and I know it will continue to be as I experience the ups and downs of Accutane. And hopefully journaling about my own experience can help someone else.
Here's to new beginnings!