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[Warning: This Topic Might Upset You] The Unspoken Behaviours: What Acne Sufferers Really Should Stop Doing >:(


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#1 AlexanderJ86

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Posted 08 July 2013 - 12:51 PM

Acne sufferers are normal people and I have acne as well, but some of their behaviours really tick me off.

 

1) Stop staring at the skin of other acne sufferers. My thoughts when I caught other acne sufferers staring at me: "Yes, I know that I have acne and I know that you have acne. Yes, I know my acne riddled skin reminds you of your own skin. Stop looking at my skin and stop comparing my skin with your skin."

 

2) Stop looking away when talking to other acne sufferers. This has actually to do with point 1, especially the part "The acne of someone else reminds you of your own acne". My thoughts about this: "I want you to look me in the eyes when we speak to each other. Yes, I know that you hate acne and that you find it ugly. Yes, I know it is difficult for you to do that because you are obsessed with your skin and my skin. But please try to look me in the eyes so that we can have a normal and nice conversation."

 

3) Stop "excluding" other acne sufferers in a group. This has also to do with point 2. It usually happens when there is a mixed group with clear skin people and acne people. When a acne person is talking, then that person is looking exclusively at the clear skin people. That person is avoiding looking at other acne sufferers, because the acne of other sufferers are "reminding" them about their own "terrible" state of their skin and they might "hate" other acne sufferers because of the acne.

 

Now, I know that these behaviours may be done unconsciously, but I find these behaviours to be very rude, maybe even downright asocial and discriminating. I have the tendency to behave like that as well, but I know that other people may not like it when I, for example, look at their skin (and I don't like that as well) so I make a conscious effort to look them in the eyes when I am talking to them.

 

I have that tendency and I know that (a lot of) you have that tendency as well. We are obsessed with "flawed" skin and we are constantly looking at our own skin and that of others. It is "ingrained" in our brain that we have to look at the skin.

 

I talk to clear skin people and I talk to acne sufferers, but I notice a difference at how I am being treated. Clear skin people are always looking at me in the eyes when I am talking to them and acne sufferers don't do that.

 

We should all stop with the obsession (including myself), because some really nasty behaviours are coming forth from that.

 

What are your thoughts on this?


Edited by AlexanderJ86, 08 July 2013 - 02:34 PM.


#2 ughhhhh

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Posted 08 July 2013 - 03:29 PM

I feel like you look into things too deeply.



#3 wheatfree

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Posted 08 July 2013 - 04:21 PM

Is this really a frequent problem? I actually find myself staring at perfect skin more often.


Fish oil is my favorite supplement because it improves my skin AND it improves my mood!
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#4 Stella the diver

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Posted 08 July 2013 - 05:09 PM

When I talk to people, whether they have acne or not, I prefer looking at their face in general (if that makes sense), I don't specifically target an area on their face, I may unconsciously look at their skin, but I wouldn't know...

I can't seem to look into people's eyes (mostly people I don't know much, strangers...), it intimidates me, and it might intimidate them,too , you never know. If I look away fast, it's most probably because my eyes met theirs, and that intimidates me. It really depends on who I interact with, my level or insecurity with that person...

So, yeah, I just try to look  at their face as a whole, (not their skin) , not staring too long at certain areas...

But, for sure, I do notice people's skin but I try not to let that interfere in my behaviors.


Edited by Stella the diver, 08 July 2013 - 05:12 PM.

My daily routine: 

 

Morning : Wash face with Cetaphil Oil Control Foam Wash, moisturize with Cetaphil Oil Control Moisturizer w/ spf30

 

Before bedtime: Wash face with Cetaphil Oil Control Foam Wash and apply Tactuo on affected areas

 

Medication: 100 mg Minocycline/day

 

Makeup routine: 

Primer: B.Kamins Corrective Mattifier

Foundation: Mary Kay Timewise Matte-wear foundation

Set: Revlon Photoready Translucent Finisher

 

 

 

 

 


#5 Tim714

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Posted 08 July 2013 - 05:34 PM

What you say makes sense on some levels but you shouldn't assume to know why people do or say the things they do and say. It most likely has nothing to do with you anyway so it's not something worth getting irritated over.

#6 umaid619

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Posted 08 July 2013 - 05:58 PM

you are thinking this way too much, just relax, and i tend to look at people with clear skin, only because im jelous! ha



#7 Lilly75

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Posted 08 July 2013 - 06:36 PM

I don't think all acne sufferers do this.

I definitely will notice other peoples skin - whether they happen to have acne or not - but I wouldn't say I stare at their skin. Whether someone has acne or not also doesn't effect how I interact and talk with them. And I don't 'exclude' people from conversations or anything else because of their skin. And I think it's normal to break eye contact during a casual conversation. Majority of the time you do keep eye contact but I think it's normal to look down or away while talking too. It's not like you stare down the person you're talking to :P


Started The Acne.org Regimen 2nd July 2013

 


#8 Exister

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Posted 08 July 2013 - 06:53 PM

I definitely look more at people with clear skin. I rarely make eye contact. I hardly ever look at the face or eyes of my one roommate, who has really bad acne. I think just because it reminds me of my own and I don't want to be conscious of a face full of acne, lest it remind my own how to be that way.



#9 wheatfree

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Posted 08 July 2013 - 07:09 PM

I just try to treat everyone the way I would want to be treated. It seems to work.
Fish oil is my favorite supplement because it improves my skin AND it improves my mood!
 Motto: Love Life in spite of everything!

We are all capable of more than we give ourselves credit for. We are all capable of more than what we are doing now.

#10 tritonxiv

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Posted 08 July 2013 - 07:13 PM

A great deal of the suffering, anger, and sadness we experience comes from us believing things should be a certain way. Fantasy and reality collide, creating constant internal dissonance.

 

Acceptance without malice is the road to peace. Consider accepting things as they are for your own benefit, and the benefit of your mental health.



#11 tanna23

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Posted 08 July 2013 - 07:29 PM

I stare at people's skin in general, clear skin, acne, anything in between. I try not to let them notice though, and I look people in the eye when I talk to them. My eyes will always look at people's skin, I can't help that but I don't stay and dwell on it. I've actually only met one person with acne who stares at my acne and just keeps doing so. I've never done number three and as far as I know I've never experienced it. 

I'm very obsessed with my own skin and could really care about anyone else's. I've had acne for nearly 12 years... I don't think the obsession will go away anytime soon. 



#12 freja

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Posted 08 July 2013 - 08:11 PM

I don't look anyone in the eye because I'm horribly shy. xD

tumblr_mnwcm10dXd1qc1ptao1_500edited.jpg


#13 dejaclairevoyant

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Posted 08 July 2013 - 09:07 PM

I agree with some of the others, I look at just about everyone's skin. Honestly, no one stares directly into someone else's eyes for an entire conversation. I think that would come off a little psycho killer-like, no? I think it's natural to look at people's faces, hair, clothes, boobs, lol...just whatever. Maybe you (the OP) is referring to specific behaviors you've seen people do in real life, but I've never noticed much of anything like that personally. I got stared at when I had severely bad acne, but even when my acne was only moderately bad but still quite noticeable, not many people stared. Same goes for me watching other people's reactions to others with acne. It doesn't seem like anyone minds or cares unless it's really, REALLY bad. I've never been excluded or anything because of it.


Edited by dejaclairevoyant, 08 July 2013 - 09:08 PM.

Current Skin-Care Regimen (A work in progress):

 

Morning:

Gentle wash with DKR cleanser

Benzoyl Peroxide 2.5% (Following Dan's Regimen)

DKR Lotion + A squirt of Argan or Grapeseed oil (The  lotion alone wasn't hydrating enough)

Skin 79 Korean BB Cream (excellent stuff)

 

Evening:

Gentle Wash with DKR Cleanser

Benzoyl Peroxide 2.5% (Following Dan's Regimen)

DKR Lotion + A squirt of Argan or Grapeseed oil

 


#14 wheatfree

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Posted 08 July 2013 - 10:08 PM

I think that sometimes people with low self-esteem interpret social situations differently from other people. If someone feels like they are being excluded, it may not necessarily be the case. He/she may be subconsciously removing themselves from the interaction with others because it is uncomfortable for them and then interpreting the experience as a case of exclusion. Finding a reason to blame others for our own short comings is really common. I do it all the time, but I try not to play the blame game.


Fish oil is my favorite supplement because it improves my skin AND it improves my mood!
 Motto: Love Life in spite of everything!

We are all capable of more than we give ourselves credit for. We are all capable of more than what we are doing now.

#15 darkheart

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Posted 09 July 2013 - 09:35 PM

You know.. this is odd as it's very hypocritical but when I see a girl with bad acne or scarring out in public I'm repulsed/horrified but if I see a guy with the same condition I'm not fazed in the least. I have no idea why this is, but it just is. I don't even mean to think this way.



#16 AlexanderJ86

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Posted 10 July 2013 - 03:10 AM

Is this really a frequent problem? I actually find myself staring at perfect skin more often.

Yes it is a frequent problem. If I come across someone with moderate-to-severe acne, then they will exhibit the behaviours all the time and very consistently. Right now, I know 5 guys in my immediate area with acne and they all do it. I notice it all the time and it annoys me greatly, because I am being treated differently, like an animal in a zoo.

What you say makes sense on some levels but you shouldn't assume to know why people do or say the things they do and say. It most likely has nothing to do with you anyway so it's not something worth getting irritated over.

It has to do with me, because I am a person with acne. Also, if my assumptions are incorrect, then please tell me how it really is. I don't think I look to deep into things.



#17 Tim714

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Posted 10 July 2013 - 04:28 PM

I couldn't tell you how it really is, that's my point. There's no way to know what's going on in other people's heads unless you want to ask them. So instead of assuming that they're being rude because you both have acne, don't worry about it because you could be way off. Even if it is how you say, let it be their problem, try no to let it bother you.

#18 fallin

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Posted 10 July 2013 - 04:36 PM

I don't really stare at ones acne, i find myself staring more at someone who has clear skin...comparing it to my own in my head
which just happens, not something I wanna do.



#19 AlexanderJ86

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Posted 11 July 2013 - 09:30 AM

I couldn't tell you how it really is, that's my point. There's no way to know what's going on in other people's heads unless you want to ask them. So instead of assuming that they're being rude because you both have acne, don't worry about it because you could be way off. Even if it is how you say, let it be their problem, try no to let it bother you.

That is much easier said than done.



#20 Tim714

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Posted 11 July 2013 - 04:09 PM

You're absolutely right, it's not easy at all. It takes time and work but its worth all the effort because if your not working towards something positive like that then you're just stuck in all that negativity over one single aspect of your life. If it was easy this site wouldn't exist.