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Impossible To Date With Bad Acne


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#1 TemperateCent

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Posted 03 July 2013 - 12:58 PM

I have found that it's impossible to date with severe acne. No one will go out with you in college if you're acne is bad. I hear people online saying that they will look past that for your personality, but I find that not to be the case. The only people with acne that I see that have relationships have very mild acne, so maybe that is what people online are referring to when they say they'd date someone with acne. Women used to compliment my looks and be interested in me until my acne got seriously bad. Now, they only want to be friends.

 

I can imagine how bad my acne must look to others because my friends and family comment on it all the time. They don't even want to get close to me because of it. I have tried every antibiotic, diet change, topical, etc. treatment and have been to many dermatologists and nothing works.


@TemperateCent ; . The reason you still have acne is because you deserve it. 


#2 CWR24

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Posted 03 July 2013 - 01:38 PM

It may just be acne is killing your confidence when it comes to dating. I know when mine gets bad the last thing Im thinking about is wanting to go on a date. But thats just me.


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#3 TemperateCent

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Posted 03 July 2013 - 02:28 PM

I ask out the same amount of girls and act the same as normally. I don't sound as pathetic in real life as I do on here, haha.


@TemperateCent ; . The reason you still have acne is because you deserve it. 


#4 Frank*L

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Posted 03 July 2013 - 05:53 PM

Because men like us with scars/acne that are severe don't have the confidence to attract a woman and women don't find us attractive enough to cold approach us. Why should they?

 

Either forget about your acne and act like you don't have it and get fucked with until you get lucky enough to find people that are cool enough not to care or continue to dwell.



#5 Sum1killme

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Posted 04 July 2013 - 12:17 AM

Confidence is just a part,you have to look Human in the first place to even have a shot or one perfect fucking personality. There are alot of hypocrites that say people look through it and shit. Maby with mild not with severe.

#6 TemperateCent

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Posted 04 July 2013 - 01:42 PM

Confidence is just a part,you have to look Human in the first place to even have a shot or one perfect fucking personality. There are alot of hypocrites that say people look through it and shit. Maby with mild not with severe.

 

Thank you for being the only realistic one about this. I have the same personality and level of confidence I've had. I don't really blame someone for not wanting to date me with severe acne, because who wants to kiss red, infected skin?


@TemperateCent ; . The reason you still have acne is because you deserve it. 


#7 John457

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Posted 04 July 2013 - 03:44 PM

It may just be acne is killing your confidence when it comes to dating. I know when mine gets bad the last thing Im thinking about is wanting to go on a date. But thats just me.

Same. When my acne is bad, I'm not feeling confident, I'm feeling anxious and reserved, and the last thing on my mind is dating or flirting.

Acne really is killer. I've always thought that the psychological scars are far worse than the physical ones. Even if today my skin was suddenly clear, I feel as if I would have to go through a kind of rehabilitation, an experience of learning how to have self-esteem again, how to interact confidently with girls, and so forth.

I think as you enter adulthood, communication becomes more and more vital. Strong interpersonnel skills are crticial in any occupation and especially with more advanced types of communication (i.e. negotiating and courting), which acne totally undermines.

I wish that one day I could be happy with another person, but even if that person were here today I could never be happy. Not like this. In this respect, acne has the dual effect, for me anyway, of thwarting meaninful romantic relationships, but also guarding against the emotional consequences that accompany such connections.

Edited by John457, 14 July 2013 - 08:23 PM.

Current Skincare Regimen

 

MORNING

Green Tea Cleanser from Dermatologist

CeraVe Facial Moisturizing Lotion

Murad Acne Treatment Concealer (Light) 

 

NIGHT

Green Tea Cleanser from Dermatologist

CeraVe Facial Moisturizing Lotion

 

OTHER

Monthly Chemical Peels (Salicylic and Glycolic Based)

Current Supplements: Zinc, Vitamin D3.

 

Past Efforts: Topical Treatments (BP, Evoclin, Differin, Duac, Ziana, Epiduo, etc.); Antibiotics (Doxycycline, Bactrim, Solodyn); Other Treatments (IsoLaz, Chemical Peels, Supplementation, Elimination Diets, etc.)

 

 


#8 WishClean

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Posted 13 July 2013 - 10:42 PM

Acne is definitely a confidence killer, but only if you let it be. In my case, even when I had clear skin I would still look at myself in the mirror and focus on the flaws on my face,which made me self-conscious and insecure. The last guy I dated, when my acne was very mild, broke up with me because of my insecurities, not my skin. To me it was a shock, because I was putting a lot of effort into looking good and then I got dumped because of a character flaw. So sometimes you just need to make sure your personality shines through and is not affected by your insecurities.

Also, a few years ago when I had moderate to severe acne, more guys asked me out than when my skin was clear...not sure why, but my confidence was a bit higher back then.

In a twisted way, acne helps you filter out all the vain and superficial people. I would want someone to date me for my personality rather than my looks, and looking back at those guys who asked me out when my skin was at its worst, they were genuine and had good personalities. I felt comfortable with them and not judged, so I think you should just aim for someone who is not caught up in appearances. Then you'll know that they will accept you no matter what.


Edited by WishClean, 13 July 2013 - 10:43 PM.

Supplements: inositol, DIM, digestive enzymes [don't need them every day anymore, only on cheat days], herpanacine & vitamin C with rose hips [not every day], regular sun exposure for vitamin D3.

Lifestyle & Skin Care: Low histamine diet, avoiding unnecessary stress, balancing skin's PH (using Image Ormedics), using distilled/ filtered water to wash face, occasional high frequency facials... (although I have been slacking lately)

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#9 sophie*louise

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Posted 14 July 2013 - 12:12 PM

Roaccutane cured my acne! i tried many medications creams etc for at least 5 years untill i was prescribed roaccutane my acne is now gone this was the best treatment ever for my acne



#10 snsdgirl14

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Posted 14 July 2013 - 11:57 PM

It's not impossible to date with acne. I've seen so many people at my school who have mild, moderate, AND severe acne and they're in relationships, a lot even with clear-skinned people. Acne's not as big of a dealbreaker as you think. If someone truly gets to know you and falls in love with you, acne is something that they look past. 


[CURRENT REGIMEN]

AM:

Wash with La Roche-Posay Effaclar Foaming Gel (European version) + Clarisonic Mia

Apply CeraVe AM Moisturizer w/ SPF 30

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Wash with La Roche-Posay Effaclar Foaming Gel + Clarisonic Mia
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#11 QuietJamie14

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Posted 15 July 2013 - 02:00 AM

It's not impossible to date with acne. I've seen so many people at my school who have mild, moderate, AND severe acne and they're in relationships, a lot even with clear-skinned people. Acne's not as big of a dealbreaker as you think. If someone truly gets to know you and falls in love with you, acne is something that they look past. 

 

I think that's true at school or any other environment where you can get to know someone in an informal way, over a longer period of time. But I'm at a stage in life where I'm not meeting anyone new - at least not regularly - so the only way to date is either through internet dating or on 'blind date' type scenarios. In these cases, I think you are being judged quickly and superficially, and the dating 'scene' becomes very competitive (a number of the women I've dated have already had another date lined up for the following night) - so acne can be a dealbreaker.



#12 Flaxen

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Posted 01 August 2013 - 06:49 AM

It's great that you are otherwise attractive! Me and my sister both had very severe acne but still had boyfriends at the time. We are both thin with naturally blonde hair and naturally large boobs! (And nice people.) I could hardly believe it myself but those guys did see past the acne... I guess it helps that women can wear makeup most of the time but not all the time and they didn't run a mile when they saw us without it... I'm not going to say it's not an obstacle, acne definitely is, but it's not insurmountable. You've said it yourself, you're an attractive guy and women will want to be with you. 

 

Just by the by... When I see a guy with acne it doesn't make me find him unnatractive exactly I'm more put off for the sake of the poor acne infested children we would create!


Post (Ro)accutane Regimen:          

 

Morning

Cleanse: Olay Essentials Refreshing Face Wash

Exfoliate: Paula's Choice Skin Perfecting 2% BHA Liquid Exfoliant

Treat red marks: Superfacialist Vitamin C Glow Boost Serum

Moisturise: Simple Kind to Skin Protecting Moisture Cream SPF 30

Lips: Nivea Lip Care Sun Protect SPF 30

Makeup base: Estee Lauder Matte Perfecting Primer, Yves Saint Laurent Teint Touche Eclat - BR10, Clinique Blended Face Powder - Invisible

 

Evening

Cleanse: Olay Essentials Refreshing Face Wash, Original Source Mint and Tea Tree Shower Gel

Exfoliate: Paula's Choice Skin Perfecting 8% AHA Gel Exfoliant

Treat red marks: Differin (0.1% Adapalene)

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Lips: Aquaphor Soothing Skin Balm

 

100% acne free and stubborn red marks disappearing!


#13 SunnySarah

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Posted 01 August 2013 - 07:39 PM

Every single human on the face of this earth has a flaw. Some people have flaws on the inside and others have ones on the outside. There's this amazing quote by Roald Dahl that goes 

 

“If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it. A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” 

 

This is extremely true, how you think about yourself really shows. And just so you know, if any girl will not date you because of a skin issue, then they themselves have issues that are inside.

 


#14 kevindreed

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Posted 03 August 2013 - 10:26 AM

Your still looking for what works for you. Use this regimen it changed my life.

Use this regimen 2 pumps of bp and 2 pumps of cetaphil moisturizer mixed with 30 drops of jojoba oil. Use CVS oilpads to wipe away shine. Your breakouts will stop immediately and within 2 weeks all existing pimples will be gone.



#15 omgmike4

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Posted 15 August 2013 - 12:22 AM

I dug up this post just because of what I saw today at my gym.

 

 

I was doing my usual routine and I came over to this guy who was in my spot. He was bent down doing sit ups, but as I got closer to him I saw his face. He had acne really bad. I just asked him how many sets he had left and he said his girl friend was doing a few more, but I didn't see her at the time. Anyways, I left and came back and I saw his girlfriend who looked like a 'model' type girl and to me looked flawless. I was stunned. This guy was not muscular, just skinny and tall and had our curse, but he seemed to be doing great. I was shocked and this made me think for a few because I struggled to get a girl friend too. Not so much because of acne, but more of shyness, regardless the acne only pushed me down lower in that path, I just thought I'd share this story. I hope whoever that guy was will keep enjoying his great life and I hope everything works out for him in the end. :)


~Burn all day, last all night.

 

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Month 1: 40mg

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Month 3: 80mg

Month 4: 80mg

Month 5: 80mg

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Results so far: Acne still coming up, Not huge, but still coming.


#16 darkheart

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Posted 16 August 2013 - 05:41 PM

Every single human on the face of this earth has a flaw. Some people have flaws on the inside and others have ones on the outside. There's this amazing quote by Roald Dahl that goes 

 

“If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it. A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” 

 

This is extremely true, how you think about yourself really shows. And just so you know, if any girl will not date you because of a skin issue, then they themselves have issues that are inside.

 

Severe acne can be more than a "flaw". If it becomes inflammatory enough with sizeable lesions it can be a certified disfigurement and make the person completely undesirable. A pimple problem here and there like skin that is prone to the occasional bad breakout I would consider a "flaw" and not the biggest deal in the world but something more severe, like say widespread acne conglobata is crippling.



#17 SunnySarah

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Posted 16 August 2013 - 08:35 PM

Every single human on the face of this earth has a flaw. Some people have flaws on the inside and others have ones on the outside. There's this amazing quote by Roald Dahl that goes 

 

“If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it. A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” 

 

This is extremely true, how you think about yourself really shows. And just so you know, if any girl will not date you because of a skin issue, then they themselves have issues that are inside.

 

Severe acne can be more than a "flaw". If it becomes inflammatory enough with sizeable lesions it can be a certified disfigurement and make the person completely undesirable. A pimple problem here and there like skin that is prone to the occasional bad breakout I would consider a "flaw" and not the biggest deal in the world but something more severe, like say widespread acne conglobata is crippling.

I agree 100% with you that acne can be crippling, especially if it is more than just a small breakout. But, acne isn't just something that comes and goes in a day. Acne usually sticks around for a little while. If you have to live with something, I personally think you should try and be as positive as you can about it. If you let things get to you and ruin your life, that would not be a fun life to live.

 

 I do disagree that acne "makes the person completely undesirable" even with very severe acne. There is a model named Cassandra Bankson who has severe acne. She's not perfect, but I admire that she makes youtube videos with her severe acne and seems very bubbly and happy in life, even though she lives with severe acne.



#18 CWR24

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Posted 17 August 2013 - 10:32 AM

 

Every single human on the face of this earth has a flaw. Some people have flaws on the inside and others have ones on the outside. There's this amazing quote by Roald Dahl that goes 

 

“If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it. A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” 

 

This is extremely true, how you think about yourself really shows. And just so you know, if any girl will not date you because of a skin issue, then they themselves have issues that are inside.

 

Severe acne can be more than a "flaw". If it becomes inflammatory enough with sizeable lesions it can be a certified disfigurement and make the person completely undesirable. A pimple problem here and there like skin that is prone to the occasional bad breakout I would consider a "flaw" and not the biggest deal in the world but something more severe, like say widespread acne conglobata is crippling.

I agree 100% with you that acne can be crippling, especially if it is more than just a small breakout. But, acne isn't just something that comes and goes in a day. Acne usually sticks around for a little while. If you have to live with something, I personally think you should try and be as positive as you can about it. If you let things get to you and ruin your life, that would not be a fun life to live.

 

 I do disagree that acne "makes the person completely undesirable" even with very severe acne. There is a model named Cassandra Bankson who has severe acne. She's not perfect, but I admire that she makes youtube videos with her severe acne and seems very bubbly and happy in life, even though she lives with severe acne.

Wow I just looked up Cassandra Bankson and saw her youtube video. I have a ton us respect for her sharing that! And I love her attitude towards it. I also enjoy reading your post. You seem to have a very positive attitude on life too which is nice to hear.


Absorica Aug 2013 -Feb2014
 
Claravis March 211 - July 2011

#19 SunnySarah

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Posted 17 August 2013 - 10:58 AM

 

 

Every single human on the face of this earth has a flaw. Some people have flaws on the inside and others have ones on the outside. There's this amazing quote by Roald Dahl that goes 

 

“If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it. A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” 

 

This is extremely true, how you think about yourself really shows. And just so you know, if any girl will not date you because of a skin issue, then they themselves have issues that are inside.

 

Severe acne can be more than a "flaw". If it becomes inflammatory enough with sizeable lesions it can be a certified disfigurement and make the person completely undesirable. A pimple problem here and there like skin that is prone to the occasional bad breakout I would consider a "flaw" and not the biggest deal in the world but something more severe, like say widespread acne conglobata is crippling.

I agree 100% with you that acne can be crippling, especially if it is more than just a small breakout. But, acne isn't just something that comes and goes in a day. Acne usually sticks around for a little while. If you have to live with something, I personally think you should try and be as positive as you can about it. If you let things get to you and ruin your life, that would not be a fun life to live.

 

 I do disagree that acne "makes the person completely undesirable" even with very severe acne. There is a model named Cassandra Bankson who has severe acne. She's not perfect, but I admire that she makes youtube videos with her severe acne and seems very bubbly and happy in life, even though she lives with severe acne.

Wow I just looked up Cassandra Bankson and saw her youtube video. I have a ton us respect for her sharing that! And I love her attitude towards it. I also enjoy reading your post. You seem to have a very positive attitude on life too which is nice to hear.

Yes me too. It's refreshing to see someone smile and be positive even when they're dealing with severe acne. And her attitude is amazing, she's truly a role model. And thank you CWR24!



#20 darkheart

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Posted 17 August 2013 - 03:54 PM

 

Every single human on the face of this earth has a flaw. Some people have flaws on the inside and others have ones on the outside. There's this amazing quote by Roald Dahl that goes 

 

“If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it. A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” 

 

This is extremely true, how you think about yourself really shows. And just so you know, if any girl will not date you because of a skin issue, then they themselves have issues that are inside.

 

Severe acne can be more than a "flaw". If it becomes inflammatory enough with sizeable lesions it can be a certified disfigurement and make the person completely undesirable. A pimple problem here and there like skin that is prone to the occasional bad breakout I would consider a "flaw" and not the biggest deal in the world but something more severe, like say widespread acne conglobata is crippling.

I agree 100% with you that acne can be crippling, especially if it is more than just a small breakout. But, acne isn't just something that comes and goes in a day. Acne usually sticks around for a little while. If you have to live with something, I personally think you should try and be as positive as you can about it. If you let things get to you and ruin your life, that would not be a fun life to live.

 

 I do disagree that acne "makes the person completely undesirable" even with very severe acne. There is a model named Cassandra Bankson who has severe acne. She's not perfect, but I admire that she makes youtube videos with her severe acne and seems very bubbly and happy in life, even though she lives with severe acne.

 

 

 

Cassandra Bankson does not suffer from cystic acne, she has moderate inflammatory acne that has now mostly subsided. I would never classify her acne as severe as it wasn't nodular. Now this girl, Elaine Mokk (who's also on youtube) has TRULY disfiguring horrific acne

 

 

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