Jump to content

Photo

Online Dating Profile


This topic has been archived. This means that you cannot reply to this topic.
29 replies to this topic

#21 Rob_X_22

Rob_X_22

    Member

  • Veteran Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 453
    Gallery Images: 3
    Likes: 48
About Me
  • Joined: 18-January 05

Posted 05 July 2013 - 08:27 PM

i agree with randall ive tried dating sites for years with no luck ...



i actually did get a date once with a 23 yo when i was 34 i'm 36 now ...anyway i shoulda known better but she was college educated ...i have a southern accent i'm just a construction worker ...anyway she threw me under the bus after the date saying she'd never do that again and when i speak i sound like a idiot ...its really horrible for someone like me who allready has a complex to try online dating ...to me there is a reason i'm single at 36 never married ...so why fight it ...i'm trying to reach a level of happiness alone so i'll never need someone ...a partner can not bring you happiness anyway we have to achieve that on our own ,,,btw i've been in some horrible relationships when younger where i got used for thousands of dollars cheated on told i was old and ugly ....relationships just aren't worth it



#22 WishClean

WishClean

    Veteran Member

  • Veteran Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 1,820
    Likes: 374
About Me
  • Joined: 06-November 11

Achievements

     

Posted 05 July 2013 - 09:37 PM

Thanks for the great responses, I feel a lot braver now! cheer.gif It's interesting to compare the male and female perspectives on this issue. Overall, I'm hopeful that there are some decent guys online (especially judging by the guys here who responded), but I have to weed out all the weirdos first. I feel a bit exposed putting my pictures online for everyone to see, even potential coworkers and students. So far, I got some nice messages in addition to the generic ones, but unfortunately the messages came from guys who are just not my type. I hate judging people based on what they write on their profile, the match questions, and their photos, but if I don't get a good vibe based on the information they put out there, should I even bother meeting them up in person? I don't have a lot of time to date, that's why I want to make sure I go out with people I am initially interested in.

I found 2 guys that seem intriguing and attractive to me, but they seem like total players so I didn't bother sending them a message. Ironically, those 2 guys haven't contacted me, which is probably a good thing as I would have responded. Ugh I hate that about myself sometimes. The last guy I dated was the exact opposite of the guys I usually go for, and he was one of the best guys I dated so I just need to broaden my search I guess.



#23 Rob_X_22

Rob_X_22

    Member

  • Veteran Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 453
    Gallery Images: 3
    Likes: 48
About Me
  • Joined: 18-January 05

Posted 06 July 2013 - 08:35 AM

just curious which dating site do you use?



#24 Ghostunit

Ghostunit

    Senior Member

  • Veteran Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 3,766
    Gallery Images: 15
    Likes: 130
About Me
  • Joined: 02-November 07

Posted 06 July 2013 - 05:19 PM

i agree with randall ive tried dating sites for years with no luck ...



i actually did get a date once with a 23 yo when i was 34 i'm 36 now ...anyway i shoulda known better but she was college educated ...i have a southern accent i'm just a construction worker ...anyway she threw me under the bus after the date saying she'd never do that again and when i speak i sound like a idiot ...its really horrible for someone like me who allready has a complex to try online dating ...to me there is a reason i'm single at 36 never married ...so why fight it ...i'm trying to reach a level of happiness alone so i'll never need someone ...a partner can not bring you happiness anyway we have to achieve that on our own ,,,btw i've been in some horrible relationships when younger where i got used for thousands of dollars cheated on told i was old and ugly ....relationships just aren't worth it

 

I agree! I am super happy being single. I am 26 and I will probably be single for so long.



#25 QuietJamie14

QuietJamie14

    Junior Member

  • Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 91
    Likes: 78
About Me
  • Joined: 22-June 12

Posted 07 July 2013 - 03:07 AM

I did try online dating for a while last year, but now I really regret doing so – it might not be the best idea for someone who’s insecure to start with.

 

Many of my friends were encouraging me to try it at the time – as usual, they were trying to lift my self-esteem by saying that women would ‘snap me up’ straightaway, that I would be a great catch for someone, blah blah blah. I thought that getting out there on dates, meeting new people, would be a step in the right direction for my confidence. But my actual experiences were very different, I faced a lot of rejection and started to seriously doubt/loathe myself. Now my self-esteem is on the floor, worse than it was before, and I’ve more or less given up on the whole notion of dating or ever meeting anyone.

 

On the other hand, as some others have mentioned, online dating is usually very different for men and women. Yes, I do hear a lot of women saying they get creepy messages – so you’ll need to do some filtering – but I know at least four girls who met their partners via an internet site. Also, I think people tend to have better experiences with sites you pay for, rather than the free ones.



#26 WishClean

WishClean

    Veteran Member

  • Veteran Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 1,820
    Likes: 374
About Me
  • Joined: 06-November 11

Achievements

     

Posted 07 July 2013 - 10:09 AM

just curious which dating site do you use?

 

I use okcupid because it also has the questions feature. What site were you using? Most guys on match.com and other paying sites also have an okcupid or plentyoffish profile so I figured I would go for a free site instead of wasting $ on a paid site.

 

i agree with randall ive tried dating sites for years with no luck ...



i actually did get a date once with a 23 yo when i was 34 i'm 36 now ...anyway i shoulda known better but she was college educated ...i have a southern accent i'm just a construction worker ...anyway she threw me under the bus after the date saying she'd never do that again and when i speak i sound like a idiot ...its really horrible for someone like me who allready has a complex to try online dating ...to me there is a reason i'm single at 36 never married ...so why fight it ...i'm trying to reach a level of happiness alone so i'll never need someone ...a partner can not bring you happiness anyway we have to achieve that on our own ,,,btw i've been in some horrible relationships when younger where i got used for thousands of dollars cheated on told i was old and ugly ....relationships just aren't worth it

 

I agree! I am super happy being single. I am 26 and I will probably be single for so long.

I am perfectly happy being single and independent...the main thing I was looking for on the dating site was friends, and I even said so on my profile, because I just moved to a new city and hardly know anyone here. I'm not the type of person who needs companionship 24/7, but I wanted to see what's out there. So far I'm not impressed!

 

I did try online dating for a while last year, but now I really regret doing so – it might not be the best idea for someone who’s insecure to start with.

 

Many of my friends were encouraging me to try it at the time – as usual, they were trying to lift my self-esteem by saying that women would ‘snap me up’ straightaway, that I would be a great catch for someone, blah blah blah. I thought that getting out there on dates, meeting new people, would be a step in the right direction for my confidence. But my actual experiences were very different, I faced a lot of rejection and started to seriously doubt/loathe myself. Now my self-esteem is on the floor, worse than it was before, and I’ve more or less given up on the whole notion of dating or ever meeting anyone.

 

On the other hand, as some others have mentioned, online dating is usually very different for men and women. Yes, I do hear a lot of women saying they get creepy messages – so you’ll need to do some filtering – but I know at least four girls who met their partners via an internet site. Also, I think people tend to have better experiences with sites you pay for, rather than the free ones.

 

Sorry that you guys had such negative experiences. A lot of women on those sites are snobs and have impossibly high standards, almost acting like they are too good for dating sites. As for paying sites, I found that most guys have an okcupid/ plentyoffish profile even when they are on paying sites so I figured I would try the free site first. I would feel bad spending money and then not meeting anyone decent. At least if it's free I can say that I only wasted time, not money grinwink.gif

With dating, luck has a lot to do with it. I know people who met their partners at the grocery store, on the street, in college, etc...and some people who have been on dating sites for years actively seeking dates with no success. You just never know


Edited by WishClean, 07 July 2013 - 10:11 AM.


#27 Rob_X_22

Rob_X_22

    Member

  • Veteran Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 453
    Gallery Images: 3
    Likes: 48
About Me
  • Joined: 18-January 05

Posted 07 July 2013 - 08:23 PM

i went through a bad breakup a couple of years ago that really took its course on me ...lost hair wrinkles emotionally scarred ...not that i was ever good looking but i have basically givin up on dating



#28 WishClean

WishClean

    Veteran Member

  • Veteran Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 1,820
    Likes: 374
About Me
  • Joined: 06-November 11

Achievements

     

Posted 07 July 2013 - 11:38 PM

I get what you are saying, I felt that way too after my last breakup. It really took its toll on me physically and emotionally, but only because I allowed it to. Ironically, my skin always looks its best when I'm in a relationship, must be all the endorphins.



#29 Pianina

Pianina

    Member

  • Veteran Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 409
    Likes: 132
About Me
  • Joined: 11-January 13

Posted 08 July 2013 - 03:59 AM

Hey WishClean!

First of all - good luck on the dating site, hope you'll meet a decent guy there! 
I was a lot on the dating sites before as well and just like you, I'm photogenic and look worse in person, than on the pictures. Besides, I usually photoshop the spots away, cause I just couldn't stand the sight of it. So as you can guess my pictures on those sites were flawless and really well taken. Many guys used to write me compliments, but it didn't warm me cause I knew they're praising the illusion. And behind the screen sat a girl with severe acne on her cheek and forehead (I also have backne btw, which I never mentioned, because I focus more on my face). There came a time I really started connecting with some guys and I wanted to meet them so badly. But the thought of them seeing my real face was freaking me out. Nevertheless, I went to some dates, cooked on with heavy make up and one of the guys became my kind of boyfriend. He invited me on a cruise to which I went and I slept with make up, woke up early enough to sneak out of the cabin and fix it. But so much make up made my skin dry and small breakouts became inflamed with puss, which I squeezed out (unsanitary, without any disinfection, but what was I supposed to do, show up with disgusting white heads on my face? They're hard to cover)

While we were eating breakfast he noticed: "Umm, you're bleeding...". I went to the toilet and saw the squeezed breakouts were bleeding through the heavy load of foundation..... It was like a nightmare come true. It looked terrible... The last hours of the trip I was cold and hiding my face. I asked him to let me check out the stores alone, just because I wanted to run and hide. He didn't try to get closer to me either. 
Do I need to mention that I never heard from him after the cruise? 

So with this story I want to say that it's maybe best to show the real you. To have some make up on but not too much - so that the spots would be slightly visible. Just to show that your skin is not flawless. If you start going out with someone you won't be able to hide it forever so it's best that you end up with someone who doesn't mind acne, rather than someone deluded (but who actually find acne gross) and then get your heart broken.
But it's just my opinion. The experience on the cruise was really traumatising for me and I wouldn't like someone to end up in similar situation.


 


Edited by Pianina, 08 July 2013 - 04:00 AM.


#30 WishClean

WishClean

    Veteran Member

  • Veteran Members
  • Posts & Likes
    Posts: 1,820
    Likes: 374
About Me
  • Joined: 06-November 11

Achievements

     

Posted 09 July 2013 - 09:40 PM

Hey WishClean!

First of all - good luck on the dating site, hope you'll meet a decent guy there! 
I was a lot on the dating sites before as well and just like you, I'm photogenic and look worse in person, than on the pictures. Besides, I usually photoshop the spots away, cause I just couldn't stand the sight of it. So as you can guess my pictures on those sites were flawless and really well taken. Many guys used to write me compliments, but it didn't warm me cause I knew they're praising the illusion. And behind the screen sat a girl with severe acne on her cheek and forehead (I also have backne btw, which I never mentioned, because I focus more on my face). There came a time I really started connecting with some guys and I wanted to meet them so badly. But the thought of them seeing my real face was freaking me out. Nevertheless, I went to some dates, cooked on with heavy make up and one of the guys became my kind of boyfriend. He invited me on a cruise to which I went and I slept with make up, woke up early enough to sneak out of the cabin and fix it. But so much make up made my skin dry and small breakouts became inflamed with puss, which I squeezed out (unsanitary, without any disinfection, but what was I supposed to do, show up with disgusting white heads on my face? They're hard to cover)

While we were eating breakfast he noticed: "Umm, you're bleeding...". I went to the toilet and saw the squeezed breakouts were bleeding through the heavy load of foundation..... It was like a nightmare come true. It looked terrible... The last hours of the trip I was cold and hiding my face. I asked him to let me check out the stores alone, just because I wanted to run and hide. He didn't try to get closer to me either. 
Do I need to mention that I never heard from him after the cruise? 

So with this story I want to say that it's maybe best to show the real you. To have some make up on but not too much - so that the spots would be slightly visible. Just to show that your skin is not flawless. If you start going out with someone you won't be able to hide it forever so it's best that you end up with someone who doesn't mind acne, rather than someone deluded (but who actually find acne gross) and then get your heart broken.
But it's just my opinion. The experience on the cruise was really traumatising for me and I wouldn't like someone to end up in similar situation.


 

 

Your experience sounds like something that could very well happen to me too.  I always make excuses not to sleep over a bf's place, and they think it's because I have commitment issues, not acne!

As for the online dating, I couldn't find any photos that clearly show my acne, let alone the scarring. It fades away in photos, unless I take pics without any makeup on, which will definitely scare off everyone. I tried to post the worst photos of me so that they won't have high expectations, but I guess they weren't bad enough. Most of the guys who messaged me didn't even read my profile, they just saw the photos which goes to show how superficially everyone is judged, even online.